


Limelight

by HobNobsandTea, TheBlackadder (mercilessraven)



Category: Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Acting, Car Accidents, Couch Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Marriage Proposal, References to Shakespeare, Romance, Running Away, Sexual Tension, Unplanned Pregnancy, Vaginal Fingering, coriolanus!tom - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-03-19 07:37:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 97,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3601764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HobNobsandTea/pseuds/HobNobsandTea, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercilessraven/pseuds/TheBlackadder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A stage hand working as Tom Hiddleston's personal costume mistress during his production run of Coriolanus in Jan-Feb '14, catches Tom's eye. He finds her beautiful, interesting, professional, and absolutely irritable. But she's hesitant to get involved with a co-worker which could have severely negative affects on her career in the theater.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Writers: Jade Hagedorn, Marian K. Welty (TheBlackadder), Susan Bennett, Kimberly McDaniel

 

The Scenario:  
Tom Hiddleston/Real Time/Coriolanus Run. During the production run of his Coriolanus in January-February of 2014

Opening Entry:

You are a stage hand behind the scenes of the production ‘Coriolanus’. You not only have to help him shower between costume changes, but you have to help him dress quickly so he can get back on stage. With so many performances you get to know each other very well, and Tom seems to be flirting with you more and more. When another stage hand was to help him shower and change his costume, he refuses and insists that it’s you and only you allowed to do so.

One evening you wait in the wings for Tom to come running off to get the blood sprayed off of him and get his closed changed for the next scene. You push your hands in your pocket to wait having everything all set up and ready to go waiting for him. You pause finding a note in your jacket pocket and pull it out seeing your name scribbled in Tom’s handwriting. You arch a brow finding it odd and start to open it, but immediately pushed it back in your pocket as Tom runs in ready to be changed and cleaned for his next scene and you instantly spring into action.

 

The water runs nice and hot. Steam causes a stray strand of your hair to curl at your temple. His chest heaves. You can't get over how lucky you are to get this job. His hands make quick work of his belt and the jeans. You feel yourself flush like every other time. You immediately start to scrub on the blood, your nails scraping off the prosthetic. His chest tightens. "Oh geez, Tom, I'm sorry."

"It's alright."

"I just had my nails done."

"Really. It's alright." Your flush spreads down your throat at the gruff edge to his voice. He turns to face you. The water has soaked his boxers, leaving little to your imagination. Your lips part slightly as you pretend not to notice. Notice the way the boxers cling to the curve of his ass and thighs. And especially trying not to notice the way it clings to his groin and the growing erection and the dark hair. You're focusing so hard on trying not to notice as you scrub the blood from his chest.  
His hands catch yours. "Are you OK?"

You force yourself to make eye contact with him. His face is intense with the emotion of the character, laced with arousal and frustration. You gasp, swallowing the squeak in your throat. He holds both your hands in one of his. The other reaching up to toy with the stray curl of your hair.

You blush a little at his attentions but you cannot forget the two of you are there for a job. You pick up a towel and quickly dry him off. “We’ve got 4 minutes Tom, a little help would be nice.” You say in frustration.

He grins as you quickly continued to check his clothing to makes sure there wasn’t any stray blood before grabbing his clean costume and starting helping him getting into his costume change.

“Alright.” He says holding his hands up in surrender letting you continue your task. “But after the show would you care to have dinner with me? I know lowly café just two blocks over. I don’t know about you but after a performance I’m usually famished. You can’t be not a bit puckish yourself.”

“I don’t know, we have a refresher run through with your cast in the morning?” You say softly.

“One must still eat. So? Why not come with me. We can spend a bit of time getting to know each other outside of work.”

You hesitate a moment before making certain his fly was pulled up and that his clothes looked rather nice. “Should I send you over to makeup or do you want me to do your hair?” You ask seeing the time.

“Go ahead and do what you can darling. Perhaps you can answer my question if you have a though to think about.”

“One minute.” The stage manager said and you quickly run a brush through his hair adding a bit of gel so it looks right, and then put some product was meant to be in all . “There we. Perfect. Go on, quick. You don’t want to miss your curtain call.”

You start to put your things away as he had another change coming before long. He stood replacing his sword in its sheath, “Alright, but after the next scene, I expect an answer, it is just dinner after all. Not a lifelong commitment.” Just then he was due onstage and turned kissing your cheek and then disappeared to return to the stage.

Tom Hiddleston asking you out to dinner, what in the world was going on? It would definitely be an adventure.

You know very well that getting involved with anyone at work, in any job can lead to disaster. As a matter of fact, it's happened to you before. You had to leave one of your first stage hand/costuming jobs because a very obnoxious actor apparently thought that if you could remove his clothes, then he could remove yours. It was a nightly struggle to keep this guy's hands off you... but this was different....Tom Hiddleston! It was only dinner, right? He's always seemed to you like such a nice guy, maybe it would be OK this time.

The thought that he might be interested in discussing someone you both worked with disappeared with the kiss on the cheek. OK. That was something of a statement. You realized your heart was beating twice as fast as it should. The time for the next change was approaching rapidly, before you'd formed a reply, there was Tom, looking down at you and smiling that million megawatt smile. Without thought, you attacked his costume, pulling the shirt off, as he took care of his jeans again. He's still grinning at you. "Well? What's your answer, pretty lady? Dinner or not?"

You inwardly groaned, the answer was always a foregone conclusion. "Tom, I'd love to do to dinner with you. It just has to be after the refresher, OK? Is it OK with you to wait?"

"I'd wait a lot longer than a refresher, darling! I've been planning this one for weeks. Can't wait! See you in a bit!" He ran back on stage.

You shove your hands in your pockets. Flirting was one thing. Dinner was another. The note crinkled in your pocket. Unfolding it, you read the short poem with 'dinner?' at the bottom. You still have the note in your hand when he comes off stage for the gown of humility. You hurriedly shove the not back into your pocket

You and he quickly undress him. The gown goes over his head. "So your answer?" He sheds his boxers. You admired his commitment to the role. He could have left them on but they would be noticeable through the gauzy material. He went on that stage as exposed as his character.

You look for an escape. Stall? He takes your hands in his again. "Dinner with me? Conversation, food, wine?"

Sighing, you look up at him. "Alright."

He laughs. "I'm not sentencing you to death."

The stage manager peaks her head in. "Two minutes, Tom." You glance around his at the door ajar.

He leans down, taking advantage of your distraction. He kisses you soundly. His hands release yours only to hold your upper arms, preventing you from stepping back.

"One minute." He grins as he leaves you breathless and flushed.

This was all so incredibly confusing, but at the same time you were starving. You hadn’t had a chance to eat before coming to the theater today and stage hands honestly didn’t get paid a fraction of the actors did.

Okay, Dinner. It’s not like he’s some crazed maniac or serial killer. Someone would notice considering he was now a famous celebrity. You started putting everything back in it’s proper place, shoving the costuming that had been drenched in blood into the washing machine with the others and turned it on. Thank God someone had the foresight to put one of these in otherwise you’d be stuck doing this at home. You wondered if you were going Dutch and hope you had enough cash in your pocket and didn’t need to pull out the plastic which was a horrid and embarrassing thought.

You heard the play come to an end and applause filled the hall so thunderous it shook the walls. A few moments later the cast came bounding off stage and Tom comes directly to you. “So? Is there a decision?”

“You smile a little, “I would love to accompany you to dinner.”

A grin sweeps his face, “Alright, let me go shower and change into stretch clothes and we’ll head out yes? Do you like Italian?”

You give a nod, “Absolutely”

“Wonderful. See you in about 20-30 minutes”

20 to 30 minutes. How does one prepare for a date with Tom Hiddleston in 20 – 30 minutes? Ahh…reading his note might be a start. You make your way to the ladies loo, lock the door and take out the note. Still says "Dinner?" Well that's a yes, but wait, there's a second piece of paper stuck to it. You unfold it and read it.

“To my lovely off Stage helper, Sheila,

I’m so hoping you’ll come out with me tonight. I’ve been thinking about you every day since I first saw you. For the first time in my career I’m looking forward to leaving the stage more than walking on it.

Do you like to act or role-play at all? I have a wonderful scenario in my mind that will fit the two of us perfectly…if you say yes to dinner, I’ll tell you about it then. T. “

Oh my God, you think. Acting? Role playing? Lovely scenario? You realize that you’re almost hyperventilating. Does he mean sex? Is he proposing sex play before you’ve even said yes to dinner? What if he means something else and you’ve mistaken him. That would be really embarrassing! You turn the note over and see that there’s more writing on the back. It’s just a few lines:

 

“Sheila,

By the way, as Coriolanus is set in Ancient Rome, I’ve been thinking about that rather a lot lately. Do you think Coriolanus might have owned a pretty, saucy slave girl who looked something like you? Hope so!”

 

Oh my God. It’s time to go back to wait for him again. You've agreed to dinner, but what else?

Tom emerges from his dressing room. He takes your hand and kisses the knuckles. "You have no idea how pleased this makes me." One of your coworkers comes up.

"Uh, Tom. There's a crowd again tonight. Faisal wants to know what you want to do." Tom looks conflicted. He ducks his head down. "You don't mind, do you?" Tom is legendary for his love and patience with his fans. You nod and awkwardly take your hands back.

"How about we meet at the café? I'll wait half an hour then order so once you can get away from fans, it'll be at the table for you."

"You're a peach."

Your coworker looks from Tom to you. "So, what do I tell Faisal?"

"I'll be out in a minute. One hour then I'm going to dinner." The coworker nods then heads of down the hall. You glance over your shoulder in time to see him look back. Shit. You did not need this.

"Uh, Tom, maybe this isn't a good idea." You turn back to him, right into an ambush. His lips claim yours in a hunger that has nothing up do with food. His arms wrap around your back, pulling your body against his. You whimper softly into his mouth. Dear god, did he kiss Virgilia like this?

He breaks the kiss and searches your face. "I'll see you in an hour." He smacks your ass on the way out.

When he's out of view, you run to the bathroom. Shit. Shit. Swallowing rapidly, you turn on the cold water. This-this is not happening. Your reflection looks back at you with doe eyes and kiss - swollen lips. You're flushed a lovely shade of dark pink. And anxious. Oh hell, are you anxious. Arousal coiled hot and dangerous in your lower belly. From a kiss. A kiss!

You splash cool water on your face, careful not to smear your make up. Can't show up to dinner looking like early Hole-era Courtney Love. You join a group of others leaving by the stage door.

The crowd of fawning women is a bit embarrassing. But Tom is grinning and polite. You duck your head and hurry behind the crowd. The restaurant is only a couple blocks away by foot. Maybe the brisk, chill walk will soothe the fire building.

Once having gotten to the café you find a booth in the back corner away from the crowd and the front window so if Tom did actually make it, they could have a little bit of privacy. You stir your rum and coke starring at the ice cubes as they swirled in the glass. This was so weird. Where did ‘would you like to go out to dinner’ come from? You guess that when one person has seen someone naked and helped them get dressed dozens of times you would feel quite at home being with them when you weren’t just changing for the next scene.

Closing your eyes you lean your head back against the booth seat taking a deep breath. It was a long day. A matinee and a night performance and there were so many costume changes, showers, and it all moved at break neck speed. You smile a little to yourself, having gotten to help him undress and then dress again between each scene. He had such a strong, beautiful and powerful body. There was nothing more exciting than seeing him running about behind the stage sword drawn to get to his entrance.

Then he would get on stage and that powerful, beautiful, melodic voice would recite Shakespeare as though it was his own every day tongue. Even if you weren’t well familiar with Shakespeare, something about the way he performed it made you understand what was happening. He was an absolute miracle worker. He didn’t just speak the words, he felt them, he breathed life into them. It was amazing.

Opening your eyes you raise your head taking another drink of your rum and coke. Even though this entire invitation was out of the blue, maybe it would be nice to see him outside of a professional fast paced environment. You sip your drink again looking at your watch.

Forty five minutes later than he had intended, he enters the café. The little bell announcing his arrival. He looks around the room, his face slightly worried. Did you stand him up? His beautiful smile lights up his face when he finds you. His long legs bring him quickly to your table.

"Sorry that took so long."

"It's alright. I saw the size of the crowd. I just ordered the food. I hope you tortellini."

Tom shrugs out of his coat and hangs it on the back of the chair. He sits then scoots the chair up. His leg brushes yours.

He signals the waiter and order a whiskey and water. His pleased smile doesn't leave his face.

"I'm so glad you agreed to dinner. Believe it or not, I still feel a bit shy around beautiful women I'm attracted to."

You pause, mid-swallow. He just called you beautiful and said he was attracted to you. You finish swallowing. "I appreciate your professionalism during the showers and changes. I was worried it might be too awkward and uncomfortable for the both of us."

You laced your fingers together and look at him. Really look at him. The crow's feet and smile lines just at to his beauty. And the scars. Some so far if you weren't looking for them, you'd miss them. His head tilts to the side. "You alright?"

“Well, it’s been almost 6 weeks now and I’ve been your ‘pit crew’ for when you come off stage. It never really occurred to me to look at your face; I was o concerned about the rest of you and getting all the blood off and the next clean costume on in a matter of sections.” You admit

“Yes.” He said taking a drink from his glass, “I am more appreciative of your help then you could possibly know. There’s nothing worse than having no help to get dressed when you have a 13 second change. They usually weren’t ready when I came off the stage, and by the time they got they got organized I was already gone for the next scene, usually half of my costume I continue to dawn up the stairway into the wings. Ridiculous.”

“And you don’t mind? Having a women help you with such things? I mean there isn’t really much left about you that’s a secret to me. Kinda sucks the mystery right out of it.”

He chuckles, “Well turnabout is fair play isn’t it.” He says with a wink.

You were a little unnerved by that statement not entirely sure what that meant. Just then the waiter delivered the several appetizers you ordered, bringing you both fresh drinks.

“oh thank God! I’m beyond famished. All I had time for between shows today was a protein bar.” Tom says immediately handing you one of the plates before quickly loading up his own.

Between bites, he asks you about yourself. "Are you content with just being the 'pit crew' as you call it? Or are you an actress?"

You swallow your mouthful. "I'm alright with bring an extra and a stage hand or production assistant. But I really want to direct." You took a bite then spoke around it. "Is that something you'd eventually like to do?"

He nods and swallows. "Yes. I'd love to be on both sides of the camera bringing someone's vision to life and marrying it to my own."

Speaking of marriage. You sip your drink to clear your mouth. "I've gotta ask. Since we're on a date, the rumors of a secret marriage are false right?" You look down at your glass then up to him. "I'm not going to be crucified on social media in some grainy cell phone picture as a home wrecker, am I?"

His trademark 'ehehehehe' laugh turns a few heads with its volume.

"Oh lord, no. No secret wife or children. I'm an indefinite bachelor."

"Indefinite?"

He looks squarely at you. "I don't have anyone in my life right now to change that status. But if I were to meet someone that captivated me, I would like to change that bachelor label." You look down, suddenly feeling awkward by the implication of that last statement. "And I'm pleased you consider this a date."

It's your turn to laugh. "Two people with a mutual interest and attraction enjoying a meal and conversation. That's a date, ducky."

He leans in. "For an American, you're picking up English vernacular quite well."  
Blush touches the tops of your cheeks. The waiter clears away the appetizer dishes and brings you both another drink without asking.

Crossing your ankles beneath the table, your foot brushes his leg. You watch him from under your eyebrows as you run your foot along his calf. You bit your lip, feeling the curve of muscle through the fabric of your low top Chuck Taylor's. "Maybe I only call you ducky."

"My own pet name." You shrug, absently playing with a loose strand of hair at the base of your neck. Perhaps it was the rum, or maybe the late hour after the long day, you felt a natural ease between the two of you.

You smile a little, “I feel really comfortable with you.” You admit. “Probably the fact I’ve seen your bum about 65+ times without the gunny sack.” You tease sticking your tongue out.

He laughed ‘ehehehe’, “Well. Probably why I feel so much at ease with you as well. Can’t really act shy around someone that helps me dress and shower several times a day.”

“It feels uneven though. There isn’t a bit of you I haven’t seen and the most you’ve gotten is naked forearm from me.” Your eyes go wide looking into your rum and coke. Was this 90% proof stuff or what? Jesus, did you just say that outloud.

“Well, if you wanted, that could change. In the name of fairness if you want to even things out I wouldn’t complain at all.” Tom said with a wink knowing you’d just embarrassed yourself and trying to lighten the mood.

“Oh.” You say taking another sip of your drink before you raise your hand calling the waiter over. “What’s in this?” You ask holding up your glass.

“Rum and Coke Miss.” He says thinking that an odd question considering it was what you ordered.

“What kind of rum?” You ask.

“I believe that this particular one is known as ‘sailor jerry’.” He said trying to remember.

“Ah. Rut gut rum. That explains it. Thank you.” You say putting down the glass your face feeling a little warm. The waiter gave a shrug and went to see to the other tables.

“What’s ‘rut gut’ rum?” Tom asks curiously.

“The cheap stuff. Gets you on your face in a quarter of the time and booze.” You say softly. “Not that I’m . . . uh . . . not that am I coinsurer or anything.” You cover your face, “Oh for fucks sake.” You say under your breath taking another drink from your glass.

Tom can’t help but laugh continuing to eat, “Honestly, you’re much less rattled when I’m wet and naked. If I stripped down to my all-togethers now would that put you at ease?” He asks jokingly.

“That’s a sure way to implode tumblr and twitter in one swift move.” You say with a smile knowing he always had quite the line of fan girls outside the theater every night that often had camped out the night before to get tickets or to see him.

"Ah, well, I avoid tumblr," he says. "Had a look once...never again."

"Scared the shit out of you, did it?" you ask, laughing.

"Um, a bit, yeah," Tom says, wide-eyed. "Some of those drawings will forever be seen in my nightmares."

You laugh, knowing which ones he means. "Stripping Loki, or being taken from behind by Thor?" you ask.

"Is that a choice?" he laughs. "Good lord, both are more than a little disturbing." He pauses. "Are you enjoying the food? Perhaps we should have gone somewhere else for after."

"The food is amazing," you assure him. "I'm more of a lightweight than I let on about drinking. I felt like I needed to loosen up just a bit."

Tom smiled shyly and asked, "My dear, do I make you nervous?"

"Well...yeah! The more I talk to you, the more at ease I get though," you say. "Good, although you are quite adorable when nervous," he offers you a smile so radiant it almost knocks you out of your chair. "Any ideas about what we should do now that our plates are empty? Because I might have a few..."

You caught him watching you on more than one occasion. Watching your mouth specifically. The way your lips hugged the fork with each bite. And your tongue rolling between your lips, over the bottom lip. He unconsciously licked his own lips.

You finished eating with food left on your left. Tom had cleared his. "That was delicious. Good choice, Tom." You traced your fingers around the rim of the glass.

"Are you staying in London?"

"I rented a flat about a 30 minute walk from the Donmar."

"After dinner, I should like to walk you home."

Well this was becoming interesting. You sipped the water not the rum and coke. "I'd like that."

The waiter brings the check. Tom must have seen him coming because he already had his card out. You opened your mouth to protest. But he holds up his hand. "I invited you out. I picked the restaurant. It's my treat." Your eyebrow raises. "I wouldn't be a gentleman if I didn't."

You decide not to argue. The meal sat heavy in your stomach. Sleep would be fast and easy tonight. With all sorts of interesting dreams.

"I'm ready to go whenever you are." The waiter brings back his card. You watch as he signs then puts the card away.

"No time like the present." He pulls out your chair then offers you his arm. You purposely avoid looking around the restaurant. If people were looking, you didn't want to know. He opens the door for you, letting you exit before him. He unexpectedly takes your hand, interlacing your fingers. "Lead the way." You set off in the direction of your flat. "It's a lovely night for a walk, despite the chill."

" Tom? I'm not good at small talk."

"It's a good thing I am." Tom chatted comfortably. You only needed to interject every once in awhile.

His hand felt warm on yours. His long fingers dwarfed yours. The thought of them playing your body like a piano. You shudder in delighted curiosity.

"Are you cold?" His fingers slipped from yours, his arm winding around your shoulders.

"A little but we're here." You stop before a gate. The house is small and quaint. Turning to face him, you look up at him. He smiles down at you.

"It's quite lovely. You should get inside and warm up." Those large hands rub your upper arms then your back, slowing as he leans in and down. You can't stop looking at his beautiful eyes but they close as he presses his lips to yours, opening your mouth with his tongue. You whimper, kissing him back. His hands grab your ass and pull your body against his. He squeezes the flesh in the snug denim jeans, lifting you slightly off your feet and onto your toes.

Oh dear God, was this happening? So many times during costume changes your mind would wonder and you would have to pull yourself back and keep your hands from wondering over his firm, fit, tight, strong Coriolanus body he had worked so hard on. He was so beautiful but you were a professional and he wasn’t a piece of meat. Now here you were, tasting his lips, feeling that firm chest press against yours, those strong arms and large hands holding you tight against him.

After another moment the kiss parts but both yours and Tom’s eyes remain closed savoring the sensation. You look at each other, your bodies aflame and immediately seeking privacy. Without a word or moving your eyes from him you reach up unlatching the gate. At once Tom’s arms wrap around you and your locked in another ferocious kiss as you nearly fall through the gate and he devours your lips as you move towards the door of the house.

Getting to the steps he reluctantly releases you taking you by the hand as you both hurry up to the house as you fumble for your key in your pocket. Tom grins standing behind you kissing your neck, then your shoulder, wrapping his arms around you pressing the length of his body against yours. Good lord what did you do with it? FINALLY there’s the damn key! You push it into the lock pausing a moment when you feel him kiss your neck again closing your eyes leaning your head back. It was sinfully delicious. Hardly able to draw a breath you turn the key in the lock and push open the door stepping through it but Tom never releases you completely catching your hand again.

Spinning you about he wraps his arms around you again as you anxiously devour each other’s kiss. You wrap your arms around his shoulders for balance as he begins walking you backward into the living room before you find yourself falling backward onto the large plush couch. His hands move down your body as he begins to trail kisses down your cheek and neck moving around to your throat, his fingers find the hem of your shirt and pull it up baring your abdomen as he moves down kissing your soft warm skin.

For some reason, his leaving your face allows your sanity to return for a moment letting you think again. Jesus, what the hell were you doing? “Tom.” You breathe starting to feel the reality of the situation. His kisses were so heavenly and wondrous your eyes start to close again both of you still deep in passion. “Tom.” You say again opening your eyes realizing that if you didn’t stop this now, there was no stopping it at all. “Tom!” You exclaim quickly pushing him off you just enough for you to quickly slide out from under him to the far side of the couch folding your legs up underneath you trying to catch your breath and calm down.

Tom looks at you a little confused by the abrupt halt of your activities, “I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?” He asks worriedly wondering what was wrong.

You breathe deeply suddenly feeling like a complete ass. Covering your face with your hand you take another breath, “Not yet.” You say in disbelief knowing there were still a few weeks of the Coriolanus run left that could get really awkward, not to mention complicated if anyone found out one of the stage hands slept with the lead. It wouldn’t do your reputation any good, or his.

Concerned he moves closer to you but you immediately scoot back another inch holding up your hand not certain your sanity was going to remain intact if he was any closer. You wanted him more than life itself but you worked together. Seeing how uneasy you are he realizes that he may have been far too bold and forward on the first date. “Oh God, this was presumptuous of me our first outing.” He places his hand over his chest, “I apologize unreservedly.” He says genuinely ashamed and embarrassed. “Such beastly behavior isn’t the way to have you agree to see me again outside the theater.” Apparently he had lost his senses for a few moments as well. It would have been proper to stop with a kiss goodnight at your gate, but here he was with you down on your couch beneath him and if you hadn’t have paused you’d already be naked by now.

This was so incredibly confusing. “Seriously? I think we passed second base opening week when I scrubbed the blood off your thighs when the makeup department got a little heavy handed with the blood application.” You say still not able to look at him blushing bright red yourself.

Tom looks at you before reaching out taking your hand respectfully in his drawing your attention to him so he could see your eyes. “That isn’t the same thing.” He says seriously. “I don’t want you to feel obligated to be with me just because we work together in . . . . close personal space.” Reaching up he gently strokes your cheek with his fingertips looking deep into your eyes intense sincerity in his own, “You don’t owe me anything. And anyone who thinks that they have a right to take what isn’t there’s just because you work together, is a bastard who doesn’t deserve the air he breathes.”

You stare into his eyes having only seen this kind of intensity and earnestness from him when he was on stage at Coriolanus. But this wasn’t acting, it wasn’t a performance, he was deadly serious. Tom stands from the couch and kisses the back of your hand gently. “I look forward to seeing you at the theater in the morning sweet lady.” He bows his head to you slightly before he turns and leaves the flat going home.

You sit on the couch shocked, stunned, and generally at a loss for words. What the hell just happened?

The alarm clock shatters the silence, abrasive and annoying. You roll over to slap it. Damn thing. Ruining a fantastic dream. You sigh, snuggling in the warmth of the covers. You hug a pillow to your chest. In the dream, you and Tom hadn't stopped. He'd taken you eagerly and hard over the back of the couch. Even now, the dull ache of unsatisfied arousal throbbed between your legs. Your fingers traced circles on your bare thigh.

Sighing, you throw the covers off. Bare feet a pad over chilly hard wood floors. The hot shower does nothing to ease the ache. The steaming water on your neck awakens memories of kisses. Frustrated, you gruffly turn the water off and towel dry.

The brisk morning air showed your breath. You shove your hands into the pockets of your lightweight coat. You were thankful you could dress in a comfortable tee, your favorite worn jeans and your Chucks for work. You walked with your head down, humming to yourself.

You smiled at the older woman behind the counter at the café you'd been frequenting. "Morning, Nancy."

"The usual, love?"

"You betcha." The woman ducked her curly gray head and scribbled an order on a ticket and put it in the kitchen window. You scoot onto a barstool at the lunch counter. You check your phone. A message from your mom. You reply with the usual. Still alive, still loving London, did you get the package. A message from your best friend. She was flying in on a few days. Thankfully on a day when the play wasn't going on. You respond with 'Morning hootchie coo. Getting breakfast. Miss bagels and Starbucks with you.' There's a third text from a number that you don't recognize. 'Morning, beautiful.'

You frown at your phone. 'Morning.' You text back.

Nancy brings your coffee. The phone vibrates. 'Join me for breakfast?'

'Already taken care of.'

Alright then. See you at the Warehouse.'

"Shit." It was Tom. How did he get your number?

"Something the matter, dear?" You save his number but continue to shake your head.

"No, Nancy. How's Bill this morning?" She puts your plate.

"His knee's bothering him. How are you this morning?"

"Good."

"How's the play going?"

"Wonderfully. I love it. I'll be sad when it's over."

"And that handsome Mr. Hiddleston?" You smile down at your food. "He's simply amazing. He'll be a big star one day."

Nancy laughs. "You like him."

"What's not to?" You pick up the napkin and twist it between your fingers. "Actually, he asked me out to dinner."

"Oh?"

"Last night. It was nice." Nancy pats your shoulder then heads about her business. You eat your breakfast in thought.

The chill has loosened its grip on the morning when you step into the sunshine. You shove your hands in your pockets again and head to the Warehouse.

Walking into the theater you go to put your things away in the locker room. Making sure your bag was put up and your cell phone was turned off you locked them up before heading into the changing area which was your work space. Usually his costumes needed an iron run over them after they had been washed and dried. This morning, of course, was no exception.

This had become routine now, and you put in your ear buds turning on your music then taking a sip from your cup putting it down before going back to running the hot iron over the cloth on the board. After attending each garment you hang them up in the proper order and place so they could be quickly and easily retrieved for his costume changes.

Reaching up you run your hands over the jeans making sure the wrinkles were smoothed so that when the cloth cooled it wouldn’t look like it had been lying on the floor for a week. Reaching over you pick up your cup taking a drink. Turning around to come face to face with Tom causing you to jump not having heard him come in. Instantly you reach up pulling the buds from your ear. “Oh, God. Tom, I’m sorry I didn’t . . . . sorry.” You say reaching up running your finger across your lips just in case.

“Hmmm.” He says with a smile, “What is it I’ve caught you doing? What is this?” He asks motioning towards your cup.

“Oh you know, hair of the dog that bit me.” You run your fingers through your hair a little rattled. He grins and takes the cup from you and taking a sip. After a moment his nose wrinkles slightly and you can’t help but laugh, “Its black coffee with two extra shots of espresso. What did you think?”

“Could have been a Bloody Mary for all I know darling, we didn’t have breakfast together as I had hoped if you recall.” He says with a small smile.

“I’m an American, Tom. Remember? Alcohol has been demonized since long before prohibition was passed and then repealed. You get to drink with dinner and that’s it, otherwise you’re an alcoholic with a drinking problem. You Europeans would drink at a baby shower.” You explain taking the coffee cup back having a sip. “And we like our coffee strong enough to stick a fork in it.”

“That’s . . . .quite apparent.” He half laughs. There was an awkward moment of silence before he spoke again, “Listen . . . I wanted to apologize to you again, for last night. I was . . . way out of line.” He said still embarrassed. “I would like to take you out again. On a real date this time, somewhere nice where they don’t serve ‘rut gut’ liquor. And I promise, I give you my word that I will be on my best behavior.”

You give a nod looking down at the lid on your coffee cup not quite knowing how to respond. You were still a whirlwind of lust, emotions and confusion. “Tom . . . .” You didn’t know where to begin or what to say and the last thing you expected jumped out of your mouth, “. . . . how did you text me this morning? I didn’t . . . give you my number.”

“Oh. I forgot to ask you for it and called the stage manager. I didn’t say anything torrid I simply stated that I had some ideas that might aid us in our nightly routine of break neck speed costume changes.” He said quickly. “Was that wrong of me?” He was growing more concerned that he had completely screwed this up and you thought he was some sort of pervert creeping on you in the wings.

“No.” You shake your head feeling like an idiot for even saying it. “No, that’s not . . . it’s fine. Really it is.” You say with a nervous smile before looking at the coffee cup in your hand once more not knowing where to look.

“Hmmm.” He says studying you trying to interpret your body language but having a hard time getting a clear read on you. “I’ve completely loused this up haven’t I.”

You can’t help but half laugh at the irony of this entire situation, “Tom, God.” You say shaking your head in disbelief before meeting his gaze, “What on this god forsaken earth gave you the impression that I actually was being ‘forced’ into anything? Or that you were ‘taking’ anything I didn’t want to give you? Are you kidding me? Before I started working this production, ‘Tom Hiddleston’ was just a name on a piece of paper to me. You know like all the other names in a program. It was the name of an actor, in a production, that I was going to be working for in the costume department. That was it. I don’t usually follow actors or get star struck or all googley eyed when one says ‘hi’ to me, if they actually bother. But since we started working together in rehearsals I’ve grown to adore you, and admire you. Especially your enthusiasm and positivity regardless of the physical stress and demands that they’ve put on you. You’re always smiling even when you are dead on your feet.” You take a breath knowing you were rambling but explaining yourself felt absolutely impossible. “You are a kind, generous, nice . . . . .” You pause a moment motioning towards his figure “. . . . fucking gorgeous man.” Whoops. That wasn’t what you meant to say and you close your eyes putting your hand to your face a moment. Too late now, it was out there.

Tom smiles a bit relieved seeing that you weren’t offended by his eagerness and was just as eager as he was. He steps forward reaching out and resting his hands on your shoulders to calm you down knowing you were frazzled before rubbing your arms gently. “So then what’s the problem?” He asks.

You look at him feeling a little defeated. “I don’t want to lose my job.” You say seriously, “If I lose my job, I’m back in the states working in the art district of LA wishing an earthquake would cause the entire city to be swallowed up just so I didn’t have to go back to dealing with those . . . insane . . . ‘artistic’ freaks that think you can have your ora massaged to ease physical and emotional stress.” To be honest you had one particular person in mind who must have had a whole tank of toads to lick throughout the day every day since the 70’s to be that far out of touch with reality. “It is so much better here. It feels like here in London the profession is taken more seriously. It’s more about the work then fame and money and I love that. I love working in this sort of environment. I love working with you. A wonderful gentleman who has the chops and the talent to be an egotistical self centered prick but isn’t one.” Your eyes go wide hearing what just came out of your mouth wishing you had shut up at least one sentence back. “Oh Christ,” you look at your watch, “Can I just finish your costume prep so I can go to lunch and get hammered completely off my ass? I’m sure it’s 5 O’Clock somewhere.” You really REALLY didn’t want to talk anymore.

Tom just smiles finding you rather adorable this way. It was obvious you were both incredibly attracted to each other, but to be honest, he understood where your concern and fear was coming from. He really was under the microscope in more ways than he thought possible in the wake of Thor and Avengers. Touching your chin he raises your face and tenderly kisses your lips. You close your eyes returning the soft affection finding him just as intoxicating as ever. Even more so. After a moment he looks down at you, “I would still like you take you out some place much more fitting and appropriate to the occasion.” He whispers. You look into his crystal sapphire blue eyes in silent awe not being able to answer or make a sound. A grin sweeps his face as he reaches down taking your hand, “I’ll let you get back to work.” He kisses your hand squeezing it slightly before releasing it and leaving your work space. You stare at him still in awe and shock like your brain had just stalled out in the middle of a traffic jam.

After costume prep is taken care of, you walk back to your rented flat for a quick lunch. Grabbing your gym bag, you head over to the fitness center you'd been using since you arrived in London.

A quick change and stretch later, you jump on the treadmill. A three minute warm up walk then you're running. Bass filled industrial spurrs you on. In the zone, you begin thinking about the night before. His hands exploring your body and the places they didn't. You remember details you didn't notice in the heat of things. The way his muscles contracted at your touch, wanting to you to know he was strong and capable, not just on stage. The way his tongue had rolled over your bottom lip when he pulled away. As if his mouth didn't really want to leave. These and other thoughts tormented you, increasing the tension that you were desperately trying to run out. Come on, girl. Stop thinking about him. You need to focus. You have a job to do. Yes, that job is him but if you're not focused on the task you have to perform, you're going to fuck up and lose your job.

You close your eyes and try to empty your mind. Meditate and run at the same time. You manage to clear your mind after the third mile. You run for another two before stopping. A quick shower and change after you stretch and you head back to work.

"Shelia?" The stage manager calls you from her office. You peek your head in. "Can I have a word with you?"

"Sure, of course." You step in the office.

"Close the door please." A sinking feeling twists your stomach. You close the door, feeling like a bad student sent to the principal's office once that lock engages. "I just wanted to tell you that you're doing a fantastic job. Tom speaks highly of you and your professionalism."

"Thank you."

You stand to leave. "I'm not done. Please sit back down." You ease slowly back into the chair. "I'm concerned. About something I saw this morning."

Oh?" Great. She'd seem them kiss.

"You're doing a marvelous. We're there a question of work ethic, ability or attitude, I'd use an affair with the lead to relieve you of your duty."

"We're not-"

"I'll stop you there. I don't want to think you're a liar. I saw Thomas kiss you. And the way you responded. I'm not blind to the attraction between you. As long as it does not interfere with the production, it's none of my business. But if it becomes a problem or I receive complaints, I'll relieve you of your position."

"Yes, ma'am. I would expect nothing else."

"I'm glad you understand. You're doing a marvelous job." You nod but you know when you're being dismissed. You gather the night's supplies from the supply room.

Tom's dressing room door is ajar. You knock softly. "Tom?"

"Come in." You push the door open. "Good afternoon, darling." He stands from his chair and takes some of the supplies to help you. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." You sit on his chair at the vanity, looking at his reflection. "My answer is yes. But on one condition." He beamed at your yes then motioned for you to continue. "You never kiss me here at the Warehouse again."

Tom frowns. "I don't understand. Did I upset you this morning?" "No." You look down at his make-up. Your fingertips move over his stage make-up. "The stage manager saw you kiss me." His thin lips form an 'O'. "She thinks we're having an affair. I'm agreeing to your date and to seeing you outside the theater, but you must never kiss me here again while you're on contract. Anything that happens outside here can't affect the play or our working relationship. Understand?"

"Perfectly, my darling." He pulls you up out of the chair. "But I can tease you mercilessly."

"Oh really? Tit for tat, fucker." He laughs and hugs you tightly. "Now get your sexy ass moving. The matinee starts in 30."

As usual, it was another sold out show. They didn’t have a single show that wasn’t not only sold out but over booked so there were 120 people standing in the back. It was probably a sure thing that if the theater was MUCH bigger it would still be sold out and packed to the gills.

The first two costume changes went smoothly as usual, you and Tom had figured out the best way to get the blood off without drying out, scratching his skin, or messing up the wound makeup and prosthesis. You watched on the monitor ready and standing by with the next set. The timing wasn’t always the same, which was perfectly normal in live theater. The actors might say lines differently, or the emotions would draw a few extra minutes when the actors were really in the moment. Tom, Mark, and a few of the others were very VERY good at being swept up in the emotions and dialogue.

You knew the entire play by heart, every single line, sentence, word, pause. Doing a performance almost every day and twice some days with previews and matinees. You stood ready and waiting. This was his easiest change considering it was the ‘gunny sack’ as you called it. Just a thin, see through, linen ‘gown’. Originally, you and Tom tried a few different ideas. Jock strap, impractical because it usually didn’t fit under his jeans without being VERY obvious. Boxers, were definitely obviously boxers even when he wasn’t lit up by the stage lights. Briefs were just as bad. And all of them would have to be changed or taken off every time he had to be run through the shower between scenes. So, being the mature, professional adults you were, it seemed going commando was just the easiest, fastest, and most logical way to go.

You half smiled remembering the first week when modesty just seemed silly and more of an inconvenience then felt necessary. Trying to be professional having never worked with a male actor where he had to be completely naked without undergarments at any time, you tried to keep your eyes averted from the part of his anatomy that his fan base had affection ally named ‘Hiddlesconda’. You were an adult; it was a penis, you’ve seen them before, no big deal. It was made a bit more awkward having been working with the actors in the production. At first he just sort of blended in with the rest of the cast in the meetings to your eyes. You’d worked with beautiful people before and actually pretty often.

But Tom was so charismatic and generally just an infectiously happy person you couldn’t help but find yourself intrigued and attracted to him. He became more and more handsome to your eyes and you simply dismissed it as a crush. So when you were assigned to him as his pit crew it did feel a bit funny at first. However, all that nonsense quickly flew out the window when the zipper on one of the jeans he wore became jammed after the first legitimate fight scene. Somehow the zipper track had gotten bent and he was literally stuck during one of the dress rehearsals. As they were treated like actual performances you were on the clock. In a fit of frustration knowing you had just a few minutes to get him into his next costume and neither of you could budge the damn thing you took your pocket knife out of your back pocket, flipped it open and with one easy movement slid the blade down the side and ripped out the side freeing him. Obviously he had hardly been expecting it and when he saw the knife he raised his brows and held his hands up in surprise. It was a shock at how you had ‘remedied’ the problem, but at the same time he couldn’t help but smile and laugh at your quick thinking and determination to beat that clock.

“20 seconds.” The stage manager said on her earpiece letting you know Tom was coming off stage.

“Ready.” You reply. It was automatic now. As soon as the door opened, Tom moved to the chair that was waiting for him having already passed the stage hand at the props table who took his weapon. He worked on taking off the leather breast plate and you pulled the ties and laces on his boots pulling them off with his socks tossing them to the side. Then he stood taking off his shirt as you made short work of his jeans and boxers. When he stepped out of them kicking them to the side, you take the sling that was meant for his ‘wounded arm’ over your own, then the robe slipping your hands into the sleeves and rolling it up onto your arms. He turned towards you and within half a heartbeat it was slipped onto his body with a single swift movement. Slipping his arm into the sling you hurry ahead of him and open the door as he heads out, grabbing the head wreath from the props person he hurried back up to the wings. You grin slightly checking your watch, “11 seconds. New record.” You say with a grin instantly you pick up the costume he just shed preparing for the next one.

After the show, which was brilliant as usual, you find yourself waiting next to the washer where Tom’s bloodied and make-up covered costumes were. It was always such a good feeling when everything went the way it was supposed to go and things ran smoothly. Definitely felt like a job well done and put you in a good energetic mood. You have your ear buds in listening to “Shake it Off” by Taylor Swift, and understandably you find yourself bopping to the beat and dancing slightly singing to the words. Softly of course, you were fully aware you couldn’t really sing. There was a reason you were being the scenes and not on the stage. You were always alone working on this after the show. The actors showered and changed into their street clothes to go out and meet fans before heading home or wherever they were going the remainder of the evening and the stage hands had their respective tasks. Props, make-up, stage sets, costumes, etc.

You’re back to the door and completely lost in your own little world, it was understandable when you didn’t realize you were no longer alone and were being watched. Shaking your hands during the chorus you shook your hands on arms “I, I shake it off, I shake it off . . . I, I shake it off, I shake it off. My ex-man brought his new girlfriend, she’s like ‘oh my God’, but I’m just gonna shake it. And to the fella over there with the hella good hair, won’t you come on over baby, we can shake, shake shake . . .” You start into a weird retarded variation of the twist with your hips and turn to find Tom leaning on the doorway silently his arms crossed with a huge grin on his face and a light in his eyes watching you very amused. You stop cold almost falling over feeling incredibly embarrassed and like the world’s biggest dork. “Damnit.” You say with a sigh turning off your music pulling your earbuds and shoving it in your sweater pocket. “Why can’t you ever suddenly appear when I’m being cool?”

“Oh darling, I always think you’re cool.” He says pushing off the door jam and walking into the room.

You blush a little bit rolling your eyes still a bit embarrassed shaking your head, “What are you doing back here? Shouldn’t you be out feeding the ever more alarming fan girl obsessions?”

“I wanted to see you before I left. We have the break over the next two days where we don’t have to come into the theater at all. Would you like to come out with me tomorrow evening?” He asks.

You smile looking at him, “Sounds good.”

“I’ll come by your flat and pick you up at 5:30pm?” He questions. You nod in agreement and he smiles, “Wonderful.” He takes your hand and places a gentle kiss to your knuckles knowing you had already requested to lay off the PDA’s especially at work. “Then until tomorrow sweet lady.” He says with a shine in his eyes. It wasn’t fair, someone to be so sweet and charming. He started to walk out and you started to go back to the washer but he paused, turning back to you as he playfully runs his fingers through his hair. “So how’s my hair?”

You grin knowing full well he’d heard you singing along to the song on your headphones when he came in, “Hella good.” You say respond, “Shake a leg and don’t keep them waiting.” He grins and winks at you before picking up his bag over his shoulder and heading out to where his body guard was waiting to accompany him.

You'd spent the morning of your day off curled up on the couch under a heavy quilt with Netflix. After watching six straight hours of Dexter, you finally decide to clean house. You and Tom had been texting all morning. Casual conversation had lead to flirting had lead to more innuendo. He might be a gentleman but when he was interested, he didn't hide it or hold back.

By the time he rang at 5:30 on the nose, you were a bit anxious and nervous. He'd said dress casual so you'd chose soft jeans that hugged your legs, calf boots and a soft fluffy navy blue sweater. You'd swept your hair back at the temples and secured it with a filigree clip. The tresses cascaded down your back.

Biting your bottom lip, you open the door. His charming smile falters. "My darling, you are beautiful." He steps in the doorway. "May I be so bold?" But he doesn't wait for your answer. Instead, he slips his arm around your waist and pulls you into a deep kiss. His lips press firmly to yours, his mouth opening yours, his tongue seeking and exploring. You rest your hands on his shoulders, returning the kiss. His mouth tastes sweet and minty. His free hand reaches up to touch your jawline, tilting upward so that he can deepen the kiss. His long fingers cup your jaw, his thumb coming to rest on your chin. You both slowly open your eyes. "I've been waiting to do that since last night."

Somewhat breathless, you smile. "Remind me to make you wait."

"Sweetheart, I've been waiting for you to let me kiss you like that for over a month."

Blush colors your cheeks. "So what do you have planned this evening?"

"Dinner. And dancing."

"Tom, I don't dance."

"I beg to differ. I caught you last night. Shaking." You groan, causing him to ehehehehe. "It's not the first time I've seen you dance around the Warehouse." It was true. You danced around mainly when you were alone, or thought you were alone. Music moved you even if your sense of rhythm left something lacking.

You grabbed your purse off the hall table. He waited for you to lock up then linked arms with you. "Do you like Thai?"

"Does the pope wear a pointy hat?" He laughed. "Excellent. I know the perfect place." He opened the passenger side door of his Jaguar. You held his hand as you maneuvered yourself into the seat without looking like a klutz and falling in. Out of habit, you lean over and open his door for him. He slide in, looking at you in the most peculiar way. "Something wrong?"

He shakes his head. "No, not a thing."

 

(Continued -->)


	2. Limelight - Chapter 2

When Tom pulls up at the restaurant you turn towards the window starring at it. Tom notices your reaction, “Is something wrong?”

“You said we were going out for Thai food?” You say.

“Yeah, that’s what they serve here.” You turn back looking at him.

“Thai food doesn’t have valet parking. It has chopsticks and cheap cardboard Chinese food boxes.” You reply.

Tom arches a brow looking at you, “Where on earth have you been getting Thai food from?”

The valet comes up to your door and opens it for you and you look at Tom a bit unsure about this, before taking the Valet’s hand and stepping out as Tom gets out from his side handing the keys over. Walking around the car he can see how nervous you were and smiles taking your hand, “I come here often. It’s really good, I promise.”

“Okay.” You say taking a breath before heading inside with him. God you could only hope you were dressed right for this.

Going inside Tom gave the name he made your reservation under and a waiter began to show you to your table. “Tom?” Hearing his name Tom stops and turns as a smile sweeps his face.

“Ben! How are you man!” He shakes his hand and they exchange greetings as you just stare at them a little wide eyed. After a moment Tom turns taking your hand pulling you closer, “This is Sheila we work together at the Donmar. Shelia this is . . . .”

“Benedict Cumberbatch.” You say staring at him wide eyed. The two men looked at each other and chuckled slightly before Benedict reaches out and takes your hand.

“Very nice to meet you Shelia you look positively lovely.” He says kissing your hand. Good Lord, all these British men were so incredibly charming. “I’ve got to get going, but give me a call?” Benedict says shaking his hand again.

Tom nods as Benedict turns and walks away before taking your hand again following after the waiter again. “You didn’t have stars in your eyes like that when we were introduced.” He says into your ear teasingly.

“Yeah, you weren’t Sherlock Holmes.” You reply causing him to chuckle.

Once at your table the waiter helps you with your chair as Tom sits in the opposite one. Once you order it falls quiet a second and you find the silence growing awkward. He was looking at you but you were trying to avoid making eye contact with him for some reason twisting your napkin in your lap. “To posh?” He questions.

“Hmm?” You say finally looking at him.

“You seem incredibly uncomfortable.” He admits.

“Little bit.” You admit. “I’m fine, just . . . . haven’t gone out much since coming over from the States. That’s all.” Actually, you couldn’t remember the last time you tried to cook at home, it was just easier to grab something or go to a pub or café. Was faster and you didn’t have to clean up anything. Fancy restaurants however, were a bit out of your price range and league. You take a sip of your water putting the glass down. But before you can draw your hand back into your lap Tom catches it, covering it with his against the table, leaning forward across the table looking at you.

“Relax.” He says with a smile gently stroking your wrist in small circles with his fingertips. “Do you have your knife in your pocket?” He questions.

“What? No.” You say looking at him. He just smiles a bit more looking into your eyes. You sigh looking down, “Yes.”

“Then what are you so afraid of?” He questioned.

“Tom, I’m not afraid of you. Honestly, I’m totally not afraid of you even a little bit.” You say not understanding why he continually thought that. “Everyone else on the other hand? Specifically my boss? Absolutely terrified.”

He gives a nod, “She really rake you over a coals did she?”

“Apparently my work ethic and ‘talent’ are the only reason I still have a job. Otherwise they would have just taken the precaution.” Maybe it didn’t sound fair, but you were fully aware you were the low man on the totem pole.”

“Possibly also the fact that I would walk if you were fired over something as trivial as that might have helped.” He said seriously.

You give him a look, “You so wouldn’t.”

“What makes you think not?” He questions.

“Because your work ethic is just a staunch and ridged as mine, and that entire production hinges on you. Costume department stage hand in replaceable, the lead playing the title role . . . not so much.” You explain. Tom quiets looking down a moment and you smile knowing you just called his bluff. “And I wouldn’t want you to do that because of me, it would just make me feel worse.” Just then they bring you your drinks and set yours down before you as they set Tom’s in front of him. You pick it up taking a sip and grin, “Definitely not rut gut tonight.”

“I won’t let them fire you.” Tom says seriously. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”

You give a nod, “Yet.”

He half smiles, “Really? What is it exactly you have planned dear?” You just grin taking another sip of your drink starring at him across the table. His fingertips pet your palm. "So tell me, Shelia, why'd you choose theater?"

"Tom, please stop calling me that. I hate my name. Call me Shel or something else."

"Hmmmm. How about kitten?" His voice takes on that passion he uses on stage and that dark growl that made the fangirls swoon for Loki. Your lower body clenches, causing you to press your thighs together. You let a slow breath out. His gaze is a heavy weight on you. You take a large sip of the rum and coke, rolling your tongue over your bottom lip.

"Kitten would do." You meet his eyes directly, curling your fingers into his palm. "Only if you can make me purr."

The waiter chose that moment to bring the food. You didn't realize how hungry you were until the smells hit you. Of course you were starving, you skipped lunch.

"I'm actually surprised you chose red curry."

"Oh, I love red curry!" You take a spoonful and savor the sweet taste of coconut milk and peppers and red curry. You close your eyes in pure pleasure. When you open them, Tom's looking at you with an odd smile. "The first time I had curry I didn't know which to choose. I didn't like the vegetables in the yellow curry and the green curry looked like vomit. So I chose the red." You take a piece of the crispy fried beef. "I get the Thai beef jerky. And I dip it in." You scoop some of the thick liquid onto the meat then lay it on your tongue before drawing it into your mouth. Tom's fork has stopped half way to his mouth. He watches you lay the piece of meat on your tongue. Swallowing, he closes his mouth which had begun to gap, completely not expecting your action.

"Looks. . . delicious."

You dip another piece of meat into the curry, holding it over the bowl. "Want a piece?"

He doesn't quite trust his voice so he nods and leans forward, opening his mouth. You lay it on his tongue.

Once again, the waiter chooses that moment to come to the table. "Would you like another drink?"

"Yes but not another rum. Do you have Thai tea?"

He smiles. "Of course."

Your smile is radiant. "Bring two, please. I haven't had it since I've been in London."

Tom nods. "Make it three. Anything that can make her smile like that I need to try." His answering smile makes the bottom drop out of your stomach. No one wonder thousands of women loved him without knowing him. "Now. Back to my question, kitten."

You cross your legs under the table, brushing your foot along his calf.

“I don’t know, why did you choose theater?” You ask taking another bite of dinner.

“Ha. I get the feeling that you may be a dedicated Hiddlestoner and therefore already know the answer to that.” He says taking a sip of his drink.

You stare at him blankly, “What’s a ‘Hiddlestoner’?” He looks up at you a moment before half smiling a bit embarrassed himself putting his glass down.

“You are doing wonders for my humility dear.” You smile mischievously wrinkling your nose at him slightly knowing full well what his fanbase was called.

“Of course I did my research on you. God knows there was plenty considering Marvel sort of pimped you out in every direction to promote Avengers and the Dark World.” Your eyes go wide looking up at him, “Not pimped . . . I mean . . . they just had you do a lot of stuff. Go a lot of places.” Oh for crying out loud. You pick up your glass taking a deep drink.

“Well it is true, the press tour through Asia left me sleeping in the car, on the plane, or on my feet.” He confesses.

“Ah. Also I would like to take this opportunity to apologize on behalf of my countrymen. The two that specifically come to mind are the boys with the Prank interview, and Chelsey Handler.” You remembered cringing seeing the videos, your eyes wide, your hand over your mouth in horror that it was AMERICANS being so completely classless. “If no one else has apologized to you, please let me do it.”

Tom laughs, “It was fun.” He says reassuring you.

“Still. Really bums me out that American’s tend to drop the ball when entertaining those from other countries. Can’t imagine why the rest of the world thinks we totally suck. Do we even want to bring up the President giving an IPod to the Queen?” You roll your eyes having seen that news story the epic face palm that followed.

“Interesting. You’re an American but you were embarrassed by what your president gave the queen?” He questioned.

“I kinda figured that when we broke from England well over 200 years ago we could bury the hatchet and stop acting like petty little children. Silly me.” You wrinkle your nose slightly, “Anyway, let’s get onto something else so I can stop bashing my own country. I’m in love with yours, obviously otherwise I wouldn’t be here, but I’m still a red blooded, meat eating, flag waving American so ya know.” He chuckles. “To answer your question, Shakespeare.”

“Shakespeare?” He questions.

“That’s the reason I got into theater. I learned to read very quickly very young and I was a nerd. I can’t remember where or when exactly I started reading his plays and sonnets, but I was the weirdo in the back reading thee’s and thou art’s, while the rest of the class was still trying to sound out words learning how to read.” You explain.

“Really? What’s your favorite play?” He questions.

You smile, “The same one all little kids go in for, Romeo and Juliet. Later it was the Taming of the Shrew. Now . . . .it’s Coriolanus, of course.”

“Where you in any of them?”

“Yes. And I was absolute crap.” You laugh. “I could read it great, recite it in front of people, not so much. I was better with costumes, and make-up, and feeding lines and giving cues. Just way better back stage then being on stage. I would prefer making you look good and getting you on your marks and to your cues on time much more then getting out in front of a few hundred people starring and looking at me.”

“I can tell you that you are very good at your job, kitten.” You grin when he says that as it did sort of feel silly when it hit your ear.

Finishing dinner, Tom pays the check as the two of you head out and a valet runs to get his Jaguar. “You okay to drive?” You ask.

“Yes, why wouldn’t I be?” Tom asks curiously.

“No reason.” Because he was two drinks ahead of you would be the simplest answer. “Just want to make sure you stay that way because I don’t have a UK driver’s license, and I wouldn’t know how to drive that thing anyway.” You say motioning to his car as it pulls up. He chuckles and opens your door when the car stops helping you in, before walking around to his side tipping the valet and getting in then taking off to the next stop for the evening.

He pulls into a car park. "Do you watch American football?"

You shake your head. "I only watch the Super Bowl for the commercials."

"Excellent! Can I tell you a secret?" You turn to face him.

"Of course."

"I'm in one. For Jaguar." He leans in. "I play a villain."

"Oh excellent." He traces the side of his finger along your chin and jaw. You draw a deep breath. "We should really get out of the car or we'll be making out like a couple teenagers."

He looks at your lips. "Would that necessarily be a bad thing?"

You look down at his lips. " No. . ." He holds your chin and kisses you deeply and thoroughly. When he pulls away, he licks his lips.

"I could become addicted to the sweetness of your lips." You blindly reach behind you and open the door.

"I think we should go whenever it is we're going or we won't be going."

He kisses you softly then slides out of the car. He opens your door the rest of the way and takes your hand. He doesn't release your hand as he leads you out of the car park and to a darkened door. He knocks and it opens from the inside. He nods to the bouncer. Thumping bass trembles the walls.

"You said you wanted to dance." He leads you onto the floor, pulling your body against his. You move with the music. The dancing doing nothing to help your sexual tension.

He hands hold your hips. Fingers pressing in slightly. He leans in and nuzzles your ear.

"I love the way your body moves. You should have more confidence."

You lean your head back against his shoulder. "I do. Just not alot."

He kisses your neck and you both lose yourself to the music for a few hours.

After a while feeling hot and thirsty the two of you take a break finding a table. He orders you drinks while you make your way to the ladies room. Coming out you start to head back bumping into someone. “Oh excuse me . . . . . . Stephen?”

“Shelia! Hey!” The two of you hug looking at each other. “What are you doing here?” Stephen was another one of the backstage people in the Donmar working on the production. He was a background character, one of the ones used to ‘decorate’ and clean the stage throughout each production.

“I’m . . . I’m uh . . .” You weren’t sure how to answer that. “Dancing.”

“Really? Me too. My date brought me here. Weird, I really didn’t imagine this was his kind of place and we’ve been going together since like . . . November.” He wraps his arm around yours heading back out. You find yourself extremely uncomfortable considering the fact you were out on a date with the lead of the play. Sort of taking exactly what you didn’t want involved in work right into the middle of it. “I hardly get to see you very much anymore woman since the production started. How is that handsome Tom? Haven’t seen him miss a cue or stumble on stage naked yet, is he a relentless bore to work with?”

“No, no not at all. He’s wonderful.” You pull Stephen to a stop not certain if it was a good idea to tell him who you were out with. “Stephen, I don’t know what . . . . how to . . .” Just then Mark Gatiss came walking around to the two of you.

“I was wondering where you’d run off to.” Mark said standing next to Stephen. Then Tom appeared as it seemed they had already met each other while you and Stephen were away. Tom wraps his arm around you as you stare between Stephen and Mark. “Shelia, isn’t it?” Mark says offering you his hand. You nod taking it. “You are doing a wonderful job backstage, dear. I’m quite impressed.”

“Thank you.” You say a little dumbstruck.

“We have to get going, but we’ll see you at the theater Thursday?” Mark said.

“Of course.” Tom and Mark shake hands and Stephen winks at you before leaving with Mark. You just stand there your jaw on the ground. “Something wrong?” Tom asks seeing the stunned look on your face.

“Oh come on.” You look at him, “How come no one has noticed that one and I get threatened with being bounced down the theater failure black hole if I look wrong?” You sigh shaking your head. He grins and kisses your shoulder before taking you back to the table where your drinks were waiting.

When you leave the dance club, rain has started pouring down so hard you could barely see out the window. He pulls up in front of your gate as you stare out the windshield. “Where on earth did this come from? They didn’t say there was chance of rain tonight?” You say in disbelief.

“Welcome to London darling.” He said with a smile. “Shall we wait for a bit or make a run for the door?”

“I say we make a run for the door and hope for the best.” You say reaching for your coat and pulling it over your head then at once bail out of the car heading for the gate. If you had waited another moment it might have given Tom a chance to find his umbrella, but instead he quickly gets out of his side of the car following after you as you both race through the gate and up to your porch.

You fumble for your key. "Kitten?" His presence is a comfortable warmth at your back. He rests his hands on your shoulders. "I hope knowing about Mark and Stephen eases some of your worry." He prompts you to turn.

You have trouble meeting his eyes. "A little."

One of his long fingers curls under your chin and lifts it up so that you meet his eyes. He steps into you, pressing your back to the door. He holds your chin while he takes your lips, drawing you deep into the kiss. His other hand rests on your waist. After kissing you soundly, he takes your hand. "I'll call you tomorrow. Good night, my darling." You watch, still attempting to regain your breath from the stellar kiss, as he hurries back to the car. You reach behind you and open the door. He beeps the horn once. You wave as he pulls away.

Closing the door behind you, you lean against it. How could you be so lucky? Tom was perfect. Intelligent, fun, funny, talented, handsome, sexy and he could kiss like no one's business.

What would Ellen say when she met him? He wasn't like anyone you'd dated in the past nor any leading man you'd worked with.

You quickly changed your clothes, thinking to yourself. Being in London was amazing but you missed your friends and your mom. Your dad, not so much. You couldn't wait to pick Ellen up from the airport tomorrow afternoon.

The warmth of the covers lulled you. Your phone vibrates. 'Good night, Kitten. Dream of me, darling?'

You smile to yourself. 'Good night, Tom.' The warmth lulls you to sleep. Your dreams are filled with Tom, like they had been for awhile.

The next morning, your eyes open slowly hearing the annoying sound of a ring tone playing on your phone. Recognizing the song you instantly turn over grabbing it off your charger, “Yes, hello?” After a moment your eyes go wide and you sit up straight in bed. “What?”

A short while later you’re standing in your workspace at the Donmar your hand over your eyes in utter shock and horror. “You have GOT to be fucking KIDDING ME!” You hear yourself exclaim as you stand with the stage manager, the director and several policemen.

“Shelia, calm down.” The stage manger tells you causing you to look at her wide eyed. The director goes outside with the police offers as you walk over to what’s left of Tom’s costumes. “What can you salvage?”

“We’re going to have to replace them all.” You say shaking your head, “Otherwise they aren’t going to match and no one is going to buy they’re the same pair.”

“How much is missing?” She questions.

“Two pairs of jeans, three shirts, and the gowns. Both fucking linen gowns that we had to fit and sew for him are missing.” You shake your head, “Were any other of the rooms ransacked and pillaged?”

“Not like this. It was more like they were looking specifically for his costumes and then finally found them. Hence the reason the most damage was here.” You roll your eyes in disbelief. Of course it had to be your work space. “Well, take whoever you think can help you and get what you need to fix this. Replace everything if you have to, but get on it.”

“I have to be at the airport in 3 hours to pick up a friend of mine that is coming over from the states specifically to come see me.” You say staring at her wide eyed. “This is going to have me busting my ass to get everything done and back in order before we open again on Thursday.”

“I’m sorry Sheila. But this is your responsibility, you have to get it done this is your job.” The stage manager said seriously. “If we have to, we’ll send someone to the airport to pick up your friend. But right now, you need to get to work.” You sigh giving a nod and looking around as the stage manager left. What a nightmare.

A few hours later you’re sitting at the sewing machine in the back room making alterations as needed to the new shirts and jeans that were purchased and still had a linen gown that you had gotten the material for but still hadn’t had a chance to start on yet. When it was time to go meet Ellen at the airport you started to head out to go get her. However you were stopped at the door and sent back to work and instead someone else was sent to pick her up.

Honestly you had gone through every curse word you knew under your breath 20x and even came up with some new variations. Out of all the costumes and other things that could have been stolen, they had to come after your wardrobe that you’re responsible for. If there was a prize for having the worst luck in the world, it would be yours hands down.

“Kitten?” You turn seeing you were no longer alone.

“Oh good, you’re here.” Instantly you stand picking up your measuring tape motioning for him to come over to you.

“Are you alright? They told me what happened.” He says concerned.

“Really couldn’t be further from alright.” You admit with a sigh motioning for him to take off his coat. He does so immediately putting it aside as you begin to measure his arms and across his shoulders. “Someone seems to have ‘misplaced’ the original measurements for these and it looks like I’m starting from scratch.” Shaking your head you take a breath, “God, Ellen probably thinks I’m the worst friend in the entire universe.”

“Ellen?” He asks as you walk around behind him as he continues to hold his arms out while you take his measurements writing them down.

“She’s a very close friend from the states. She arrived at the airport almost 4 hours ago. They sent a car for her and took her back to my flat. I don’t even have any food in the house; I was planning on going shopping before going to pick her up at the airport.” You shake your head walking around to the table and writing down the measurements you’d just taken.

“Well, tell me what I can do to help.” He says walking over to the new costuming you’d purchased and had been working on.

“You already helped, I got your measurements, you’re good to go.” You really didn’t mean to sound short with him but you still had so much to do before you could even start to think about leaving the theater to go home tonight. This wasn’t his area of expertise and if he stayed trying to help he would be more in the way then anything.

Tom was concerned seeing how upset you were but he understood the spot you were in and thought it best to leave you to it. Walking up behind you he places his hand on your lower back, “You have my number, call me if you need anything. Anything at all.” He says sincerely before kissing your cheek. You give a nod changing the thread on the sewing machine before starting to unroll the fabric for the gowns. Then he picks up his jacket and turns leaving you to your work.

It must have been after midnight before you simply had to rest and take a breather. You hadn’t had an opportunity to eat all day, rarely took a moment to get a drink, and your fingers were raw with all the tailoring, sewing, and various other sorts of work from the moment you’d come in that morning. Between the stress, the hard work, and the mere shock of this unspeakable turn of events, when you sat down your head soon hit the table and you were out cold, your head resting against your arm as you were hard asleep.

Almost an hour after you had fallen asleep, two people come into the room where you had been working nonstop all day. One carrying bags of take-out and the other carrying a coffee carrier with fresh made coffee drinks. Tom showed Ellen in as they both walk over to you.

“Oh Shelia.” Ellen said with a smile putting the coffee holder down on the table before reaching over and gently smoothing your hair back from your face. “Flash backs. Can’t tell you how many times she worked herself into the floor like this to get everything done and make certain it was all perfect.”

“She did this kind of work at home then?” Tom questioned both of them keeping their voices low so as not to disturb her yet.

“Since high school. You might not have noticed but she is a perfectionist. Borderline obsessive compulsive at times. But she works hard and is very dedicated to anything she does. Especially this.” Tom walked over seeing his costumes in order and properly tailored looking perfect as usual.

“I can’t believe she managed so much in one day. There are weeks to do costuming and fittings before the production begins.” Tom says finding the alliterations all in place on each one.

Ellen smiles, “When you get to know her better, you’ll see. She’s very reliable.”

Ellen sits down next to you and gently rests her hands on your shoulders, “Shelia. Sheila honey?” She says softly. You take several deep breaths before popping up. You were still half asleep and had no energy whatsoever.

Looking over you see a familiar face and grin, “Ellen!” She smiles as well and you both hug tightly happy to see her. “Ellen, I’m so sorry I wasn’t at the airport to pick you up. I should have been there, I am so so sorry.”

She smiles, “it’s okay, I understand. Tom explained everything.” You furrow your brow not understanding before realizing that there was another in the room and turned seeing Tom walking towards you. “He came by to let me know that you were called into work and wanted to be there but you had a lot of emergency work you had to get done. He showed me around a little, and we went shopping considering your fridge is completely devoid of food.” Ellen says arching a brow but smiling, “And then we thought we would bring you some supper, and liquid energy.” She said reaching over and picking up one of the cups of coffee handing it to her. “3 shots of espresso?”

“Lord, it probably should have just been a solid cup of espresso.” You take a sip before looking at Tom.

“I’ll go get some napkins and we can have some supper.” You smile and nod and she turns leaving the room heading down the hallway looking to find some paper towels.

Tom walks over and pulls the bags of food opening them and setting them out with utensils. “Thank you.” You say still a bit taken back that he’d done this. “You really kinda went above and beyond with this. She’s never been to London before. Then she arrives and she’s immediately left on her own.” You take another drink of your coffee.

He walks around behind you resting his hands on your shoulders rubbing them a bit, “I told you, I wanted to help.” Leaning down he kisses your cheek.

Tom spreads out a prop blanket on the floor. The 3 of you settle down onto the floor, eating and talking.

Ellen can't stop laughing. "So we're standing there with the cop's flashlight on us and Shel pops off 'This is either the start of a bad horror movie or a bad porn.' And the officer busts up laughing. He let us go but told us to get home."

"That was the last time I dressed up as Dr. Frankenfurter for Rocky Horror on Hallowe'en." You shake your head at Tom's ehehehehe. "Laugh it up, sunshine. I'll put you in heels and a corset. It's my goal to go to a screening over here." Tom can't stop smiling at you.

"Deal. I'll go as Frankenfurter if you go as Magenta." He brushes the hair from your face and kisses your cheek.

Your grin pretty much gives everything you feel about him away. He touches the tip of his nose to yours. "I'm afraid I broke my promise."

"After today, I'm willing to let it go."

Ellen clears her throat. "I'm pissed at you, Shel. You didn't tell me you had a boyfriend. Let alone Loki." Tom laughs.

"He's not my-"

"You really must forgive her. It's only been a recent development. You see, our stage manager looks down on production relationships."

Ellen holds up her hand. "Alright, I'll let it go this time."

You look from his hand now lacing fingers with yours. Boyfriend. Well that was new.

Ellen helps you clean up. "Don't work too late." She kisses your cheek.

"I'll be back after I take her home."

"Tom, I'll be-" He holds up his hand, cutting you off.

"You're almost done, correct?" You nod. "Then I won't be in the way." He leans in and kisses you soundly, drawing your body against his. Holy cow, the way he kissed you. It wasn't just with his mouth, he kissed you with his whole body. They left you to your work. But first, bathroom!

Yeah Tom, not in the way at all. With a sigh you finish going through everything making sure it was in place and set up for the next performances. Girlfriend? Two dates and we’ve already jumped to girlfriend? This could get complicated. Oh wait, it already is.

Since no one else was in the theater tonight, you put your music on the speakers just to keep you company. You finish cleaning up everything then go back to your work space inspecting the bits and bobs of Tom’s costume to make certain everything was in order. At least security has been stepped and there were just a few weeks left of the run.

With any luck, you’ve covered everything and would actually have some time to spend with Ellen tomorrow. Talk about saving your butt, Ellen actually knew who Tom was before you did, so having him show up at your flat to entertain her was probably a pretty good apology. Even thought it wasn’t your idea and knew nothing about it.

You hear NIN “Closer” come on the speakers and start singing along with it making certain all your equipment was in order and in place. You were going to sleep like a rock tonight when you finally got into bed.

Oh Trent, you knew the groove. You move your body to the music, taking a break from being a responsible workhorse. "Help me. You tear down my reason. Help me. Your sex I can smell. Help me. You make me perfect. Help me get away from myself. I wanna fuck you like animal."You whip your hair around. When you open your eyes, Tom has returned. He stood bestride in the doorway, his hands clenching and relaxing at thighs. "Dammit, Thomas. You keep catching me when I'm-" You takes the room in three quick strides. His arm snatches your waist. His mouth crushes against yours, opening you roughly. You cry out, taken by surprise. His stride doesn't stop when he has you in his arms. Your bodies jar when you hit the wall. "Thomas-"

His mouth devours your neck, licking and nibbling, his long skillful fingers pulling your shirt free from your jeans. "Don't stop singing. You stop. I stop." He pulls the shirt over your head and tosses it away.

"O - okay."

You know these words by heart. They trickle off your lips as his lips and teeth taste your flesh, moving down from your collar bone that makes you shudder to between your breasts. Your nipples pull tight into stiff peaks. "I want to feel you from the inside." Your hands glide into his hair the lower he goes, licking and sucking your salty flesh. "I wanna fuck you like an animal." He unbuttons your jeans. "My whole existence is flawed. You get me closer to god!" He jerks the jeans off your hips and down to your ankles.

You bring your other hand to rest on his shoulder. Thankful no one was here or would be here until tomorrow. Because the day had weakened your resistance. And despite being a gentleman, Tom was still a man and you a woman he desired. And this was a sexy fucking song and god, his lips were on your thigh, working up to the bend in your leg. The spot that made you weak, made you tremble. And he just found it! Your body jerks. He steadies you by splaying one of his big hands on your chest just beneath your breasts, pushing you back into the wall. You close your eyes, letting your head thump back against the wall. This had to be a dream. You were passed out at the sewing table. That's it. Oh yes that's it. . . That is it. . . His lips traced lips back and forth on your lower belly, getting closer and closer to the soft blue satin panties your wore.

There were moments where it seemed as though common sense just walked itself right out the door and took a stroll leaving you to your own devices. It was moments like this when your brain just shut itself off and just went along for the ride.

You run your fingers through his soft ginger hair, could feel his somewhat scruffy face against your warm skin. You loved it when he had gone a day or two without shaving. He always got a pretty good 5 O’Clock shadow going and it simply made every naughty thought you had jump up and make itself counted. Just as his teeth found the hem of your undies you hear something in another part of the theater. Your eyes open looking towards the door. Then a second noise, “Tom.” You say trying to get his attention.

Then a third noise. The sound of a door opening and closing catching Tom’s attention this time as he pauses his attentions for a moment too listening. What in the hell? It was almost 2am, who the hell was . . .”Oh, Christ. Security rounds!” You say quickly.

“Fuck.” You dive for your shirt pulling it on over your head, as Tom quickly hands you your jeans and you duck behind the clothes rack jerking your close back on.

You hear the door of the room open, “Hello, Mr. Hiddleston. Any problems?”

“No, none. Not at all. Everything else okay?” You hear him ask.

“Yes sir. After last night’s problems we’re to do hourly rounds inside the theater as well as the outside.” The security answers. “Will you be staying much longer?”

“Not too much longer. I’ll holler at you on my way out.”

“Have a good night then sir.” The security says before pulling the door closed again. You sigh closing your eyes banging your head back against the wall. Then you push through the clothes rack giving him an embarrassed look.

“If it wasn’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all.” You say in irritation walking over picking up your bag and pulling it over your shoulder. Tom chuckles and shakes his head. The two of you head out and you turn off the light making sure the door was securely shut. And find your way to his car in the back parking lot. He opens the door for you and you get in before he closes it and gets in his side.

You’re sitting in the passenger seat with your hand firmly over your eyes still feeling as you were going to die of utter humiliation and embarrassment. Tom reaches over taking your hand in his kissing your knuckles squeezing tight, “They didn’t catch us darling, no need to feel so embarrassed.” He says looking at you sympathetically but a small smile on his lips.

You look at him wondering if you were ever going to get the chance to be cool in his presence. “Come here.” He says leaning over and pulling you into a deep passionate kiss. After a moment you reach up sliding your fingers into his hair once again returning his kisses.

It wasn’t long before you find yourselves falling into the frenzy you had been in when interrupted inside, and the windows of his jag start to fog .

After a few more moments you just hug each other tight, your hands roaming over each other’s bodies. “Check your phone messages darling.” Tom whispers still trying to regain his breath and senses.

“Check my phone messages?” You ask thinking that a really weird out of the blue thing to say. You pull back looking up at him a moment before taking out your phone and scrolling to find he was right, you did have a few messages.

Ellen G.: “I know you’ll probably busy tonight so I’ll look for you around lunch time tomorrow. P.S. I’m still going to kick your butt for not sharing the whole Loki thing later! Or maybe you can just give me all the sorted details and we’ll call it even ;)”

“Okay. So . . . she’s not expecting me back tonight?” You say looking up at him.

“I suppose that’s up to you. If you’d like I can take you back to your flat right now. Or . . . you could come back with me. To my house.” He says looking at you hopefully. You smile a bit looking away wondering what had brought all this on. “I’ll understand if you’d rather just take you home. You have had a rather long and trying day . . .”

“I will.” You say cutting him off with your anxiousness. “I mean . . . I would like to go with you. To your home.”

A smile sweeps his face and he turns the key on his jag as he heads out of the parking lot and heading towards his home. Were you ready for this? You’d only been on like two dates. However you’ve seen him naked every day for the past two months, so really . . . . well this couldn’t be considered too fast could it? What the hell, you were both grown consenting adults, and he was absolutely wonderful. Today only proved that yet again how wonderful a man he was.

As he drives, he reaches over taking your hand bringing it to his lips kissing your knuckles, continuing to hold your hand resting it back down on your thigh. You couldn’t help but smile, he genuinely seemed to want to be with you. Maybe it was your skepticism that sort of grows every year you’re in the theater. Always looking for something bad to happen, always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and being beyond paranoid.

Tom presses the button on the remote that opens the gate to the community where his house was and drove through. Once he’s parked you both get out and he takes your hand walking you to his front door and taking out his key. Wow, it certainly was a posh neighborhood. But it was understandable to leave in a gated community as he had become a celebrity and there were no doubt tons of very good and sensible reasons to live in a place like this.

Turning on the lights he takes you inside closing the door behind, “Make yourself at home Kitten. I’ll be back in a moment.” He says turning on a few more lights and disappearing down the hallway. You walk further in looking around finding his house rather open and spacious. It was incredibly nice and at least 4 times bigger than your rented place.

Checking your watch you see it was nearing 3am.

The couch happens to be soft and comfortable. You remove your jacket. You sit down to wait for Tom. Your body relaxes, exhausted from the long day.

Tom enters the room with a bottle is wine, two glasses and a corkscrew. "Oh Kitten?" He clicks his tongue, finding you softly breathing heavily, fast asleep. He quietly sets down the wine and glasses. "Kitten? Shelia?" You're fast asleep.

Tom carefully takes off your shoes. He grabs the quilt from the back of the couch and places it over you. He carefully turns off the lights and leaves you to get whatever sleep can be salvaged from the night.

Something like music playing in the next room causes your eye to slowly open. Jesus it was bright in here. You reach for a pillow to pull it over your head finding your hand hit the back of the couch you were laying on. Your eyes open as you lift your head looking around. This wasn’t your room. Scratching your head you pull the cover off standing to your feet and following the music.

Going into Tom’s kitchen you find him humming along to the radio as he’s hard at work cooking a dishtowel over his shoulder. Oh goody, he was a morning person. This might result in your having to smother him with a pillow. He turns seeing you standing in the doorway and a smile sweeps his face. “Good morning darling. Sleep well?”

You grumbled a yes your eyes still half open as you walk over sitting on one of the chairs at his bar. With a knowing smile he pours a cup of coffee setting it before you. Oh thank God. Wrapping your hands around the cup you blow on it before taking a large drink. You might actually be able to be human now.

“Not much of a morning person hmm?”

“Mornings like this usually require the caffeine to be tapped directly into my artery.” You say taking another drink of coffee starting to wake up properly now. “I’m only a morning person when I have to be.” Your eyes wondering over him finding he was in his running gear. “It was like 3am when we got here. Did you sleep at all?”

“Oh yes. I slept a bit late though. I didn’t get up until about 7:30. Went for a quick run and decided to make breakfast.” He admitted almost as though he was ashamed. You reach in your pocket taking out your cell phone arching a brow. It was only about 8:45am. Coming back over to where you are he pours you each a glass of juice before going back to the other side of the kitchen. Putting the last elements of breakfast on the two plates he brings them back serving you one and himself the other. You drink some more coffee and he grins filling your coffee cup again.

After breakfast you were feeling much better. With some rest and an unexpectedly good breakfast it was just possible you’re going to live. “So are you bringing Ellen to the show tonight?” Tom asks finishing his juice.

“I don’t know. You know how packed the performances are. I imagine she would really love to see it firsthand. She went to the live broadcast. Silly Ellen told everyone that was sitting around her that she knew the girl who ironed your shirts and tailored your britches.” Tom laughs a bit. “Like anyone cares.”

“Hey, it’s all of you backstage who make it possible for those of us on stage to give a great performance. You’re just as important as the actors that trot the boards if not more so.” He says seriously as you finish your breakfast and pick up your cup of coffee taking another drink. “Not to mention if you hadn’t been there I would probably be on stage tonight in nothing more than paper towels and a sock.”

“A sock huh?” You smile mischievously, “Think we could find one big enough on such short notice?” With a chuckle he stands clearing your plates away washing them off in the sink before putting everything in the dishwasher. You check the time and send a message to Ellen wanting to know if she wanted to meet somewhere or if you should go home first and meet her for lunch. “Ellen is expecting me in just a couple of hours.” You remind him.

“Better wash up then. Bathroom is that way, clean towels in the cupboard.” He says pointing the way. You arch a brow looking down at yourself sneaking a quick whiff to make sure you didn’t smell for him to say that. “There’s also a new toothbrush on the counter for you. Unopened of course.”

“Uh, okay.” You stand from where you had been sitting. Hmm, you hadn’t intended to make yourself so at home but if he was offering you weren’t going to argue. You really could use a shower, it tended to get hot in your workspace at the theater. It was, after all, a warehouse. Following where he pointed you, you head for the bathroom grabbing your bag from the couch on the way by and go inside finding everything laid out just as he said. “Well someone decided I was coming home with him last night long before anyone let me know.” You say arching a brow.

You twist your hair up and take a clip from your bag clipping it up off your neck before taking out the new toothbrush and giving your teeth a thorough cleaning making sure to scrub every inch of your tongue. Rinsing your mouth out you strip down and get into the large glass shower turning on the water. The hot water felt heavenly on your tired body, but between this and the coffee you were perking right up.

The hot water relaxes your tense muscles. Today wasn't starting off too bad. Morning with a man you were attracted to and had started to care about, afternoon with your best friend, then evening doing what you loved.

You wished he wouldn't be such a gentleman. That he'd slip up behind you and kiss your neck. Run soapy hands over your body, bring you to orgasm with his fingers, push you against the wall and fuck you stupid.

A knock startles you. "Just a minute!" You turn off the water and step out. Wringing out your hair, you wrap a towel around your chest. "Yea?" You open the door to Tom's chest as he pulls a shirt.

"I wanted to let you know we'd be leaving in about 15 minutes." He glances up behind you then quickly looks away. He licks his lips, glancing at you. "Sorry to interrupt."

"Oh no problem. I tend to run long in the shower." He turns to go. "Hey, Tom?" He looks over his shoulder. "Thanks for every thing you've done. You're pretty amazing." He smiles.

"So are you. Now get dressed before I forget I'm a gentleman and I make you forget." He tips his chin toward the bathroom. You look behind you at the mirror and your ass, red from the hot water.

Your forehead thuds against the door as you close it. "Way to go, Shel. You're really knocking him off his feet." You quickly dry off and dress, putting on light makeup. He's waiting in the living room, reading something on his laptop.

"Feeling more awake?"

"Definitely." He smiles up at you, straightening up. You drop across his lap. "I wanted to thank you properly."

"Oh?" You hook your fingers behind his neck. You gently kiss his forehead then each of his eyelids. You kiss him temples, the tip of his nose, and those deliciously sharp cheek bones. You kiss each of his earlobes, trailing kisses along his jawlines. His hands rub along your back and thigh.

You search his face, his eyes, not believing your luck. "That's quite a thank you."

"Shush, not done yet." You place light kisses at the corners of his mouth then kiss him full on. The kiss grows into lips and tongue. His lays you slowly back on the couch, settling his weight between your legs. You moan into the kiss before pulling away, tugging at his bottom lip with your teeth. "Thank you."

"You are very -very- welcome." He punctuates second very by pressing his hips into you. He dips his head to kiss along you jaw and throat. "I'd like to take you out again. Tonight. After the show."

His kisses leave you breathless, especially when he draws his tongue over your collarbone. "Oh Thomas, I'd love to. But I really need to spend some time with Ellen."

"So sorry, my darling. I should have expected that." His lips trail between your breasts over tee shirt. "How long is she staying for?"

"A week." You had closed your eyes but now, you open them. "And I work for most of it." He kisses the side of your breast.

"Kitten, she understands. You're living your dream. And I understand that you'll want to spend your free time with her this week." He nuzzles the place he just kissed. "Just don't forget me."

You lift your hips off the couch. "Don't be silly. How can I forget you?" You tug his hair until he looks up at you. "I might actually enlist you to help me show her a good time."

He props himself over you. "Whatever you want, my darling." He sits back on his heels then moves to stand. "We need to be going." He offers you his hand then pulls you to stand.

Ellen is waiting for you in the kitchen when you come in. She's got coffee ready. "So did you sleep with him?"

"No." You drop your purse on the table. "I passed out on his couch."

You quickly strip. "Shit."

"What?" Ellen leans against the door jam, watching you wriggle into clean panties then clean jeans.

"I left my underwear on his bathroom floor."

Ellen busts out laughing. "You what?!"

You pull a clean, soft tee over your head. "I was in such hurry after he saw my ass in the mirror, I left my panties on the floor."

Ellen busted out again. "Are you going to ask him for them tonight?"

"Oh yea because THAT won't start rumors." You pull your shoes on. "Come on, let's go grab some lunch and I'll show you around the area."

Showing up at the theater a little before your call you show Ellen around your work space properly this time now that you weren’t in a frazzled zombie like state. “This is the shower?” She asks picking up the shower wand, “You get the wash the blood off him and everything huh?”

“Yes.” You say giving her a look hanging the wand back in place. It was cute at first but now the constant sexual innuendos were starting to get a little irritating. You didn’t think of Tom as a piece of meat, and you easily could considering your working relationship. “You worked stage with me in college, why are you acting like this is all new stuff to you?”

“Because, dork. Tom fucking Hiddleston, that’s why.” She says giving you a look. “You never did watch Thor or Avengers when I told you about them did you.”

“I’ve seen them.” You say looking at her. She just arches a brow placing her hand on her hip. “Okay, so I saw them after I was assigned to him in this production and wanted to know who he was. But I still saw them.”

“How could you watch him as Loki and not be head over heels in love instantly? Especially in that scene where he’s begging Odin to tell him who he really is and where he comes from?” Ellen takes a breath putting her hand on her chest almost as if she was lightheaded at the thought. “Wow, it broke my heart.”

“Did you actually watch the play in the live broadcast? Way more emotion in Coriolanus then Loki has. Not to mention it isn’t a move, it’s a live performance. Everything you’re seeing is happening right there, right before your eyes. Haven’t seen it happen once that he hasn’t been able to make himself cry, ON CUE.” You got to see this man in action every night and always, always he was on target.

“That’s true. Way better then that broad playing his wife.” Ellen said.

“Shhhh!” You hiss quickly, “I do have to work with these people.”

She grins wrinkling her nose at you. “So? Does it upset you seeing her kiss and climb all over your man every night? The crotch grab is always particularly entertaining isn’t it?”

“Oh my God, Ellen. They are ACTORS! Would you grow up already!” You exclaim taking off your jacket and hooking up your headset to the battery back and slipping it on your belt. “I’m basically his body servant and I’m okay with that. He gets the whole ‘we have no time to get you changed’ thing.” You shake your head slightly, “This is complicated enough without jealousy rearing its ugly head. You have any idea how many people are going to think that I’m involved with him with the hope it will further my career? People in this profession can be so suspicious, paranoid and jaded. I suppose I can’t talk too much, I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop with Tom.”

Ellen reaches over and rubs your arm, “I know honey, I’m sorry.” She apologizes knowing she might have been needling you too much over this. “He really is a nice and sweet man. I always kinda of thought in the back of my head it was all an act. For his public image, you know? But having met him now and spent some time with him, he really is as generous and kind man.” She kisses your cheek, “I think you landed a good one this time. I don’t think this one is a hitter.”

“Ellen.” You snap not wanting her to repeat that ever again even to herself. Ellen realized she mentioned something she knew she shouldn’t. You didn’t always have the best taste in men, and a previous mistake helped you make the decision to make that leap to the theater world on the opposite side of the world. “You promised. It didn’t happen, remember?”

“I know sweety. I’m sorry.” Ellen says with a nod understanding that you just wanted to forget and leave it all in the past.

You check your watch, “You better go get your seat or you’re gonna be stuck standing in the back. There are only a few unmarked seats they let us use our comps for.”

Ellen gives a nod and hugs you before hurrying out into the house to her seat that you had showed her earlier. You go to Tom’s costumes and start to get the first change ready to go. You check to make certain the towels were close to where he could grab one when they had to shower him off, and all of your stuff was nearby and readily available. Things turned out better then you thought they would when they told you what happened yesterday morning. Everything was as it should be and you were ready.

The performance went off without a hitch. The costumes fit him perfectly. Ellen had been allowed to come back stage after the audience left. She waited in your work area while you finished up.

You threw the costumes in the washer. Large hands rest on your shoulders. They rub down your upper arms then circle your waist. You sigh and close your eyes. "Another flawless routine." Tom kisses the side of your neck, holding you against him.

"YOU were flawless." He closes his eyes and rests his face against your neck. He breathes in the scent of your skin.

"I wish you would come home with me." He squeezes you slightly. His lips press to your pulse.

You sigh, melting into him. "Ellen leaves in 5 days. Then I'm all yours, mister." You turn in his arms, searching his face. "I really like you, Tom."

He holds you close, rubbing his scruffy cheek in your hair. "I really like you too." He holds you away from him to arms length. "Lunch tomorrow after the matinee?"

"That'd be great." He leans in. "Ah, your broken promise?"

His lips hover a breath away from yours. "It's already broken." He hugs you tightly, his lips closing that last distance. He longs to make that kiss more.

The performances leave him in an adrenaline fueled yet exhausted state. He wants nothing more than to use that adrenaline with you. He has for awhile. The last week has been torture. He wouldn't say he was used to women offering themselves but he didn't usually have to work this hard.

You were different though. You were worth it. He left you breathless and shaking by the washing machine. He grabbed his bag and nodded to Ellen as he walked it.

Faisal noticed his change in demeanor. "Something on your mind, Tom?"

"Someone actually."

"We don't have to stop. I can get you through the crowd."

"It's alright. The fans will prove a pleasant distraction. If I go straight home, I'll just think of her until I fall asleep and dream of her."

"Damn, man. That's romantic." His bodyguard shrugs. "You're the talent." Tom glances back down the hall. He knew you'd be working for another hour. He wanted to spend that time with you, but he knew he had to share you. They made their way into the crowd and he worked his magic on his adoring fans.

You lean against the washer, catching your breath. You had to wait until you could hang up the costumes before you could leave. That gave you time to clean up and get ready for tomorrow's performance, well performances.

"So I thought since you're going to be working all day tomorrow, I'd meet up with a couple Facebook friends and sight see. You don't mind, do you?"

"Oh no. I actually felt bad having to leave you most of the day. This works out great."

"Good! And don't feel bad. I knew you had to work when I booked this trip. I know the drill. Theatre is your life."

It was. Ever since your grandmother took you to see Annie, of all plays. You hated being in front of people so being a star never appealed to you. But all the cogs, the fitting pieces that made the beast live and breathe and bring life to words on a page. THAT appealed to you. You'd done almost everything you were physically capable of and some things you weren't. You aspired to direct. But you'd settle for stage manager. You were a problem solver and doer. Your work ethnic had proved break neck. You'd worked in LA, that was horrible and a life lesson in theatre and love and life. You'd worked in Vegas, that had been more fun than should have been allowed. New York had broken you in, worn you out, tested your dream. But you'd loved it. That left London. Coriolanus was your first production with the Donmar. So far, you'd proven yourself.

Ellen sat back and watched you work. "I think we need to order in and have girl time. I'm not going to see you much the next couple days so I'm like to get my fill of your crazy while I can."

"Sounds good to me." You hang up the costumes. Grabbing your bag, you and Ellen make the walk to your flat. The crowd is still there. You're tempted to look for him. But he's working. One thing you'd learned, he loved his fans.

By the time you crawled into your abdomen hurt from too much laughing, you were stuffed from too much greasy pizza and drunk off too much wine. The clock read almost 3 a.m. again. You noticed the blinking light on your phone.

 

Three texts from Tom. 'Dress warm tomorrow', 'You're beautiful', and the last one almost an hour ago 'Sweet dreams, Kitten' accompanied by an adorable kissy face selfie. You sighed. He definitely had his hooks in you. This one would hurt when the play run was over.

Your alarm clock starts to blare in your ear like someone singing really bad Karaoke at the top of their lungs. Reaching over you smack it almost knocking it off the nightstand. The last few days were hell on wheels and it seemed like your body was finally giving you and your overzealous work ethic the finger. “Oh this is going to be an espresso morning.” You mumble burying your face in the pillow a minute before dragging your tired form out of bed and heading for the bathroom and getting into the shower turning it on as hot as you could stand.

You look down and see blood on your arm causing your eyes to pop open wondering if you had scraped it somewhere and didn’t notice. Nope, it was blood from Tom’s costumes last night. “God, I have to talk to the makeup people, they’re getting fucking lazy and just dumping buckets on him for crying out loud.” You say to yourself with a sigh.

You hear a knock, “Yeah?”

Ellen opens the door, “Shelia I think your coffee pot is broken. I’m going to make a coffee run down at that café on the corner. Did you want anything in particular?”

“See how many shots they can get into one big cup will ya?” You ask. Ellen laughs.

“Coffee and Danish’s it is!” She calls back before closing the door. You start to do a second soaping of your entire body in case any more stray dirt or make up was adorning your person. Then Ellen ducks back in the door, “Oh yeah, there’s something for you on the kitchen counter, it arrived this morning. Be back soon!” She closes the door again and heads off down the street.

“Huh?” You look through the steamed door but she was already gone. It was too early for mail.

Coming out of your room fully dressed for the day, your hair up in a clip cascading somewhat in natural curls. Seemed Ellen still wasn’t back yet. You started to pass your kitchen but stopped in mid step backing up. Your eyes go wide seeing a dozen beautiful crimson colored long steamed roses in a crystal vase with baby’s breath and fern leaves. Walking closer your eyes about ready to pop out of their sockets you reach up taking the card and opening it. “With ‘like’ and love, Tom X” You smile shaking your head a bit before looking at the roses again. Leaning close you take in their strong lovely fragrance that was already starting to fill your flat.

Just then your door opens and Ellen comes in carrying a bag and a coffee carrier. “I hope you’re hungry, cause I am and I went a little nuts at the bakery counter.” She says closing the door with her foot and walking over putting everything down on the counter. “So? Who are they from?”

“Whom do you think?” You say slipping the card into your pocket.

She leans over and smells the flowers, “Mmm.” She inspects it closer, “Long stemmed huge plump red roses, and a Waterford crystal vase.” She looks at you, “You slept with him. You must have.”

“Uh, no!” You say giving her a look, “Pretty sure that’s something I would have told you seeing as how you are my best friend and you’ve been fangirling like crazy since you got here.”

“This stuff isn’t cheap Shelia, he’s definitely expecting something from you at this point.” She says seriously.

You sigh covering your eyes with your hand shaking your head. This was absolutely insane. “Okay, so what if he is?” You say finally looking up at her. “I mean, I’m attracted to him. Apparently he’s attracted to me putting up with all my garbage. We’re two, grown, consenting adults. What’s wrong with a little consenting casual sex? Not going to hurt anybody.” Reaching over you pick up your coffee and take a drink.

“Honey,” She begins looking at you, “Why are you fighting this so hard? Why do you keep acting as though you are waiting for the other shoe to drop? Casual sex is fine, as long as it’s just casual sex. But I’ve seen you. I’ve seen you come alive, your eyes shine, your entire body beams every time he’s around. Like him just being close gives you some kind of boost of energy. But you aren’t having fun with this whole thing, are you?”

“Ellen.” You groan reaching in the bag taking out a cream cheese Danish. She crosses her arms leaning on the counter studying you as you begin to eat. “What?” You say your mouth full.

“Uh huh.” She could clearly see you were avoiding the entire subject. “Can I just say something you already know, but I probably need to repeat?” You look at her waiting to hear it. “If he’s playing you, if all of this is a game just to get in your pants . . . Loki’s rage isn’t going to have a shadow on mine.” You sigh giving a nod turning and grabbing your coat and bag.

“I’m gonna be late, I’ve got to get going. Thanks for breakfast. Call me if you need anything.” You hurry out the door closing it behind. Ellen watches you as you leave and looks at the roses suspiciously.

 

(Continued --> )


	3. Limelight - Chapter 3

At the theater you were ironing out bits of costume that were wrinkled putting them back in place. The matinee would be in a couple of hours. A knock comes to the door, “It’s open!”

“Hey Shelia.” Stephen comes in closing the door behind him walking over to you. “I had a feeling you’d be here early. You’re a diehard perfectionist, you know that?”

“I’ve been accused of it. What’s up?” You say hanging up one of Tom’s shirts before starting on the next one.

He walks over and hops up to sit on the table next to you. “I know how it can be, dating an actor.” You glance at him. Dear God, what now. “Especially a famous one that has movie credits, and TV credits and is recognized on site on the street. AND attached to a production run that has grown legs twice. It can be rough. I get that.” You sigh putting your iron aside and readjusting the shirt. “It’s okay you know.” He says after a moment. “If you were just a random shag, he would have dropped you by now. Too much work.”

“Stephen.” You shake your head turning towards him not really feeling comfortable talking about this in case someone overheard you. “What happens with the production run is over? I mean, it’s not like we’re going to see each other very much . . .or even at all. He has three movies he’s attached to this year. Crimson Peak in Canada, High Rise in Ireland, I Saw the Light in the States. Not to mention he’s still working for Jaguar, charities like UNICEF, and other little bits and bobs that are probably going to come up in between.”

“So?” He says looking at you. “Doesn’t mean you can’t keep his company and enjoy him now. We still have a few more weeks before this run is over. You can’t pass up something good today just because you’re afraid of what’s going to happen tomorrow. I realize that Mark and I probably are only going to last until Coriolanus is over, but he’s wonderful. Yeah, I admit I fell for him and it’s probably going to hurt. But it’s worth it. I wouldn’t give up these past couple of months with him for all the gold in the world.”

He was making sense. A lot of sense actually. You look at him feeling a bit sheepish, “Have I been that transparent?”

He grins getting up off the desk walking closer to you, “I don’t think anyone else has noticed because they aren’t in the same boat as we are. And, if we do get dropped like hot rocks we can lean on each other and get drunk off our ass until we drowned the sorrow.” He says with a wink. You laugh a little and he grins that he could make you smile. “Come on, give us a hug.” You hug him tight. He was a good friend. One of the first you made when you came over from the US. “If you ever need to talk, just call me love.”

“I will.” You smile again, “I’ve got work here to do and you’ve got stage work to prep don’t you?”

“Woman, you are a workaholic.” He says with a wink before turning and heading out leaving you to get on with your work.

It was strange, you actually felt a lot better now. Things seemed a little clearer, you just needed someone to help clear up the fog a bit.

Days where there were two performances could be tricky. Which is why you immediately started cleaning and prepping Tom’s costumes as he came out of them so they would be ready for the performance tonight. Also, Tom said that he wanted to go out for lunch which would seriously cut down on your prep time so you had to get it done now.

After curtain call you nearly pulled his costume off of him before he was even all the way in the door, as they were the last of them that needed to be washed and quickly took everything putting it in the washer. Tom showered, dressed, and then headed out to meet fans with his bodyguard as you move faster than ever trying to get everything done. As soon as the washer stopped you put everything in the dryer hurrying back to your workspace changing out of your top into street clothes and putting your headset on its charger.

Putting on your coat you snatch your bag and come out of the room just as Tom was coming in. “Oh good, you’re ready.” He says with a smile.

“Yup. New record.” You say showing him your watch.

“Good.” He grins wrapping his arms around you pulling him close, “That gives us a few hours before we have to be back here.”

“Few hours before YOU have to be back here.” You say arching a brow, “I’ve got prep work. Otherwise I’m going to be ironing costumes while you’re onstage just in time to slip them on you for changes.”

“I’m not worried darling.” He kisses you gently before looking into your eyes, “You are the best I have ever seen at what you do.”

That was quiet a compliment and one you weren’t sure you could take. “Even better then the costume crew on a Marvel/Disney set?” You question.

“Oh yes. By far.” He sneaks in another kiss pulling you closer to him. You were still doing your best not to tick off your stage manager you brace your hands against his chest a bit stopping any further advances in the theatre. He smiles a little and gives a nod understanding. “Come on. I’m driving.” He says taking your hand as the two of you hurry out to his Jag and drive away.

When he asked you out for lunch you had assumed that you would be going to a café or something. However you soon find that you have arrived at his home. “Wow.” You breathe as he drives in the gate.

“Hmmm?” He says not having heard what you said.

“Well it all looks different in the day light. It’s all so beautiful.” You say admiring the other houses in the community. Tom chuckles as he parks the car. Taking you into the house he pours you a glass of wine and invites you to make yourself at home disappearing into the kitchen. Hmmm. You must have been completely exhausted when he brought you home the other night because even the inside of his house looked different. It was elegant and yet simple and somehow very inviting.

You look at your watching checking the time before taking another sip of your wine. You take out cell phone finding you have several messages from Ellen. Opening them one by one you see pictures of her and her facebook friends taking selfies in front of a few landmarks. Big Ben, the London Eye, and even one at Buckingham Palace. Well, Ellen was certainly getting around. You hoped that they were having fun, but at the same time you kinda hope they left SOMETHING for you to take Ellen to see. You message her back, “You look like you’re having fun! Wish I could be there with you. Keep the pictures coming!”

You slip your phone back into your pocket as Tom seems to appear out of nowhere and takes your hand kissing your knuckles gently. A moment goes by before you both realized you had been starring into each eyes without saying anything. Long enough that it became a bit awkward for both of you. “Come on.” He says leaning you into his dining room. Your eyes go a little wide finding he had set the table and there was some exquisitely delicious looking food.

“Lunch or Dinner?” You ask seeing that he had even lit two candles.

“Well, I wanted to make the most of our time.” He pulls out your chair helping you sit down before sitting down in the chair closest to you. “I imagine you’ll want to eat dinner with Ellen.”

“Actually, I’m starting to think that she doesn’t need me.” You admit taking out your cell phone pulling up the group photo she’d sent you before passing it to Tom. “There’s a group on facebook where they all hooked up I guess. Some live here and a few of them flew in like Ellen did.”

“What group?” He questions passing your phone back to you.

Your eyes go wide not having expected the question, “Can’t remember.” You say taking another sip of your wine. “So? What’s for lunch?” You say putting down your glass and looking your plate.

“Stuffed grilled chicken breast with artichoke, spinach, parmesan, lemon zest and wild rice. Along with some grilled asparagus.” He says with a smile picking up his fork as you pick up your own. Taking a bite you are incredibly surprised at how completely delicious it was.

“Oh wow.” You say taking another bite. “You made this?”

“Yes. I couldn’t sleep last night so I thought I would put my time to good use.” He admits taking another bite himself. You anxiously take another bite cautious not to make a pig out of yourself by scarfing it down to fast.

“How can you be so skinny when you cook this phenomenally good?”You take another sip of your wine before going back to eating.

“If you’re that impressed with this dish, wait until you see what’s for desert.” He says with a wink and a smile happy that you were enjoying the food. When you both finished with the main dish, Tom picks up the plates taking them into the kitchen soon returning with two much smaller plates setting one before you before sitting down with his. “New York style raspberry cheesecake.” He leans closer, “You’re allowed to criticize this one because I actually bought it.” He says with a wink.

You bite into the cheesecake. It was good but you could make better. "It's good."

Tom smiles. "I hear a but."

You swallow another bite. "But I can make better. I did live in New York for almost two years."

"You'll have to make it for me."

"Only if you be my assistant." You finish your piece and lean back. "I'm positively stuffed. I could take a nap."

"Kitten, if I take you up to my bed, napping won't be on your mind."

You bust out laughing. "So sure of yourself." You take your plate to the sink.

His body presses to your back. The tips of his fingers brush the hair from your neck. You tilt your head to the side, exposing your throat. "No. But I'd like to think you're as attracted to me as I am to you." He presses his lips to your throat. Your pulse flutters like a caged bird. You grip the edge of the counter. His hands rest at your hips.

"Oh I'm definitely attracted to you." His lips and tongue move to your ear.

"Tell me."

His hot breath sends shivers down your spine. You swallow. His hands move up under your shirt, cupping your breasts over your lacy bra. Your nipples poke into his palms. "Tell you what?"

Tom pins you between his body and the sink. "Tell me how I make you feel." He squeezes your breasts.

"Hot." He kisses your ear. "Wet." He groans in your ear, brushing the lobe with his teeth. "Awkward." His mouth hovers over your neck. "Desired."

"Good." His palm skims down your belly. "What else?"

You lick your lips, leaning into him. "Like I'm a silly girl. Smiling." He flicks the button of your jeans open. You take a deep breath, shuddering with anticipation. "Nervous." He slowly draws down the zipper. You can feel his hard member pressed to the small of your back.

"Nervous about what?"

Oh things were going so well. "That I won't be good enough. That I'll be horrible in bed. That you'll be so amazing. That it'll hurt so bad."

"Kitten, I'd never hurt you. Unless you were into that sort of thing."

"A little bit."

"Oh?"

You nod. "But that's not what I meant."

"What did you mean then?"

"That when the play is done and you're gone, it'll hurt more than anything else. Because I knew better and I started to care."

He lays his hand flat on your belly. "Shelia. Do you think I'd go to all this trouble for a fuck?"

"No. Yes. No. I don't know."

"No, I wouldn't. I like you. I want to get to know you. I want to see where this will go." He nuzzles your neck. "If you'll stop getting in the way." You knew what he meant. It went along with what Stephen had told you at the Warehouse.

"You're the second person who's implied that today."

"Maybe we're right." His long fingers slip into your lavender silky panties. You hold your breath at the brush of his fingers over your short-trimmed hair.

"Tense." He separates your folds.

"Mmmm, hot." His teeth press into your neck. He thumbs your clit, drawing a gasp. He groans. Your back arches to meet him pressing you forward.

"Tingly." He maneuvers his hand to slip two fingers inside you. "Oh god."

"Oh yes, Kitten, very wet, indeed."

His hips grind against your ass. You reach up with one hand to grab his hair. He kneads your breast. His thumb and fingers work you into a gasping, shuddering orgasm.

You lean against him, spent and flushed. "There's more where that came from." He buttons and zips your pants. "For now, I have to get you back to work."

That was wholly unexpected but delicious none the less. And now, you knew where he stood. He turns you around and places a kiss on each fiery cheek.

You demur but he dips in to kiss your lips. You step to the side so that he can wash his hands. He kisses you once more, devouring your mouth, holding the side of your face.

You climb out of the Jaguar. "Enjoy your run." He leans over into the passenger seat. You bend down and kiss him goodbye. "See you in a couple hours, darling."

You have to admit you're on cloud 9 as you walk down the hall. You pop in your ear buds. Lana del Rey 'Off to the Races' fits the beat of your mood.

Checking your messages, there's more pictures from Ellen's lunch with her Facebook friends. 'Wish you were here'.

You set about getting everything ready for the next performance. Oh man, you had it bad.

Tom comes hurrying back into the changing room closing the door before turning and walking to you. Your eyes go wide, “What the fuc . . .”

“The hand to hand got a little more real then intended.” There was a huge rip right across the front of his shirt. He sat down as you pulled his boots off while he took off his shirt. “Sorry love, I didn’t move fast enough and he got a bit close.” Sitting up you inspect the tear but more importantly his chest to make sure there wasn’t a gaping wound. You run your fingertips over his chest seeing a slight scratch but it didn’t break the skin. He watches you a moment seeing the genuine worry and concern in your eyes for him. You notice that he’s looking at you and clear your through grabbing the hem of the shirt and pulling it up over his head. He stands taking off his pants and you bring on the next costume change. Within a few seconds he’s completely clothed and ready to go.

You walk with him towards the door as he adjusts the sling over his arm, “Take it easy would you?” You say quickly. Tom has a small smile on his lips looking at you. You clear your throat, “. . . those costumes are hard to come by. There aren’t many backups.” You open the door for him but he pauses a moment just looking at you with a shine in his eye knowing it was truly him you were concerned for. He starts to walk out but stops and wraps his hand around the back of your neck pulling you into a anxious kiss. You kiss him back but then hustle him out the door. “Go on! You need to get to your mark!” Blowing you a kiss he heads into the wings to get ready for his next scene.

Closing the door you stand there for a minute. Reaching up you touch your lips tasting his kiss with a small smile. Everything about him was so incredibly wonderful. He smelled good, he felt good, he was just completely perfect. Then your smile fades a bit as you lower your hand. It was only a moment and truly it was harmless however that few seconds of screwing around when there was a show in progress was both unprofessional and extremely distracting. With a sigh you shake your head berating yourself before walking over to get the next costume lined up.

After the show you’re leaning on the washer your mind a billion miles away. He was so good with his fingers, His long soft fingers, on his large strong hand. You close your eyes remembering how good it felt for him to caress you, to kiss you, to touch you. It wasn’t like the sticky fumblings in the backseats cars with a novice. Tom knew what he was doing, how to touch a woman, and he was extremely good at it. That confidence of his showed through in everything, always. There was something about the eager aggressiveness that was an extreme turn on. Like he was a starving animal wanting to devour you in every way possible. What was it he had said to you? You couldn’t quite remember but you were certain he said something about liking it rough. Well, you did like it a bit rough and wouldn’t it be wonderful if that’s what he wanted to do. The big, strong, tall, handsome, Shakespearean God he was.

The buzzer on the washer goes off causing you to jump 6 feet in the air pulling you back to reality. You sigh and shake your head switching the costumes over into the dryer. “Unbelievable.” You say shaking your head at yourself. When his costumes are done you take them back to your workspace. You shake each one out before hanging them up in their proper place. You pick up the torn shirt turning it over. “Well, I guess I can try and save it.” You roll it up and put it in your bag before taking out your cell phone and turning it on closing your locker.

You start to walk out to catch the bus around the corner almost running head first into Tom’s bodyguard causing you to drop your bag. “Oh, hey. I’m sorry.” You apologize quickly starting to bend down, but he picks it up first handing it back to you. “I’m really sorry.”

“Tom’s pulled around the side in the back in his Jaguar waiting for you. If you go out the stage door at the back of the wings, he’s parked there.” He says.

“What? Why?” You question. He didn’t answer and simply motioned for you to go with him. You shrug and follow after him as he takes you out the exit door and just as said, Tom’s Jag was idling there with Tom in the driver’s seat. The body guard opens the door as you walk over. “I thought you went home?”

Tom just motioned for you to get in and you take off your bag slipping into the passenger’s seat. Tom looks at his bodyguard, “Thanks for everything man. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yes sir.” He closes your door and Tom pulls out of the parking lot.

As he drives you find yourself heading back to his place instead of going to your flat. “I live the other way.” You say looking at him curiously.

“Yes. But Ellen and her friends came by after the show for pictures and autographs.” He looks at you, “You didn’t tell me that they were a fan group darling. ‘Hiddlestoning Ladies’ I think it was?”

You wince a little bit hoping they didn’t completely embarrass him. “I’m sorry. I should have warned you. On a scale of 1 to 10 Ellen’s been fangirling out at somewhere between 23 and 62. Has she behaved herself?”

“Oh yes. Very much so. She tends to talk in innuendos quite often, but it’s no worry.” He promises. “Anyway, we all took pictures together, I signed everything they had, spoke with them for a few moments but there was still a pretty long line and I didn’t want to leave anyone out. She also told me that she will not be returning to your flat until tomorrow. She’s apparently gone to stay with them at their hotel and are planning to leave early in the morning to head down to Cardiff. Seems they’re Torchwood and Doctor Who fans as well.”

“Hmm.” That was so unfair. You were a Torchwood fan first. You introduced Ellen to it. You would have liked to go down to Cardiff with them. But you had to work and sick days were not an option. If Tom could go out on stage and give such a great performance with the worst cold in the world . . . well after that, no sob stories from any of the crew or the other actors. He had raised the bar quite high. “So where are we going?”

“I thought we’d have some dinner and then go back to my place.” He pauses a moment, “If you want to. I don’t want you to think you have to or anything. Just having dinner with you would be phenomenal so if you’d rather I take you home after then I can do that too.”

He was so incredibly charming, and thoughtful, and kind. And he was beautiful. He always had a bit of a 5 O’clock shadow, and his hair was the most beautiful shade of strawberry blonde that shined in the light. “I think . . . . well what I mean is . . .” He looks over at you a moment letting you speak. “I would like to stay with you tonight. Very much.” A smile sweeps his face as he takes your hand and kisses your knuckles before lacing his fingers with yours as they rested between you on the center console.

You just couldn’t get over how wonderful he was. It was even harder to wrap your head around that for some reason, he was interested in you too. Stephen was right, you couldn’t miss out on the good stuff happening right now, today, just because you’re afraid of tomorrow.

It was late and dinner was quick. You walk with Tom up to the door carrying the two bags. One has orders of fish and the other has chips. You sneak a chip out and pop it in your mouth when as he unlocks the door and turns on the light holding the door open for you to come in then closes the door behind you. Going into the kitchen you put the food bags on the counter. “How did you know I like this stuff so much?” You ask sitting on one of the chairs by the bar. “This has got to be my favorite food since coming over from the states.”

“I cannot tell you how many times you had leftovers after lunch that you brought back to the theater to stash in your locker, darling.” He says with a wink and a smile. He opens the fridge pulling out a bottle of white wine, and getting to glasses bringing them over and setting them down on the counter as you take the condiments out of the bags. Tom fills the glasses handing you one, before bringing back two plates putting them down and you take out the fish and chips putting them on each one.

“I actually never really liked fish.” You pick up a chip, “In the States this are French Fries and a ‘chip’ is what you guys call a ‘crisp’.”

‘ehehehe’ he laughs, “Certainly seems you’ve picked up the language pretty well.”

“Well, I didn’t come over here cold turkey. I’ve been an Anglophile since I was a little kid. You know that.” You remembered telling him that Shakespeare was actually your first love too. Although you wouldn’t want to ever have to perform it in front of people. You both feeling rather hungry after the very full day you had, and eat in silence for a little while as the food quickly disappeared as did the wine. “you keep feeding me like this I’m going to have to double my time in the gym.” You say taking another sip of wine before he fills your glass once more.

“Now how in the world do you possibly find time to spend in the gym when you’re always working at the theater?” He questions.

“hmmm. Somewhere between sleep and awake. It’s sort of an automatic thing now since I was 14. I may have actually done a few work outs in my sleep these last few weeks.” Sadly, that was actually a possibility. “You have an incredibly busy schedule and you still find time to work out and go for runs.” He gives a nod not being able to argue with that. When you finished Tom clears the plates and you throw away the paper bags and used napkins. You take off your jacket and start to put it down and your eyes go wide, “Oh my GOD.”

“What’s wrong?” Tom asks hearing the tone in your voice.

Your entire left arm over your shoulder and down your back was covered in the fake blood they had gotten to the point of drowning Tom in every night. Your jacket must have gotten the dirty costumes thrown onto it before you took them to put into the wash. “You have got to be kidding me!” He walks over wincing slightly seeing it had gotten all over your blouse and skin. “My jacket wasn’t even in there, it was in my locker!”

“Alright, darling. It’s okay.” He takes your jacket, “it should wash out just fine. It washes out of my costumes every night.” You take a few napkins out of your bag as you start to try and wipe it off you. “Oh well, we know that’s not going to work now don’t we.” He takes your hand and leads you into the bathroom turning on the light and putting your jacket on the counter. You look in the mirror seeing just how much blood was on you.

“God, could you imagine if I took my jacket off while we were out there?” You say in disbelief.

“Ellen would certainly have a story to take home with her when emergency services were called because you look like an accident victim.” He said with a smile. Reaching in your pocket, you take your hair and twist it putting it up in a clip off your neck.

You start to wash the ‘blood’ off in the sink and smirk slightly, “Out damn spot! Out I say!” How could you NOT quote MacBeth in this situation? It’s not like it came up that often. Tom laughs a bit standing behind you watching you in the mirror.

Completely absorbed with trying to get this stuff off your skin you don’t even notice that Tom as stepped closer to you until you feel his fingertips gently caress the back of your neck, drawing down a bit over your skin, before further down your back. His touches felt just as heavenly as ever. Leaning closer he nuzzles your ear slightly before touching your chin to turn your face towards him and he gently places a kiss to your lips. Your entire body tingles as your eyes roll back slightly as they close and you eagerly return his kiss. Reaching up you carefully rest your hand to his face as you kissed again. His fingertips draw down your neck then down to your chest. Your eyes open looking up at him intoxicated by his touch, by his taste. However your instantly pulled from your state when you find a blood smear on his cheek from where you had touched him.

“Oh, God. I’m sorry.” Reaching over you pick up a small towel and wet it turning towards him and carefully wiping it from his face. You sigh shaking your head. “You should probably take me home where I can get cleaned up and changed. This is a disaster.” You say with an annoyed sigh putting the towel aside and turning the water of the skin off. You reach for your jacket but Tom catches your wrist drawing you back.

“I have a better idea.” He says with a smile looking into your eyes. “You’ve taken care of me these past few months in this very situation. So now,” He draws you a little closer looking into your eyes, “It your turn to allow me to take care of you.” He whispers looking into your eyes. “If you’ll permit me?”

How in the world did you find yourself in this situation? “I . . . I . . . .” That was the best you could muster? Really? Words were failing you at this moment and instead you just give a small nod. A smile sweeps his face, his eyes shining in excitement that he was getting the chance to do this. It seems that it was something he had been fantasizing about for some time. His hands rest on your shoulders as he pulls you closer kissing you gently before they start to slowly slide down your arms before moving to your body continuing to firmly move down your soft curves. Your eyes were a little wide not sure how you felt about this yet. It was firmly out of your comfort zone.

He finds the hem of your shirt and slowly pulls it up and off over your head when you raise your arms tossing it to the floor. His hands return to your waist sliding around to your lower back pulling you closer as he gazes down at your soft alabaster body. His hand wraps around your neck moving to your shoulder as he gently turns you around so your back is to him. His hands move firmly, expertly over your skin and down your back as his fingertips find the hooks of your bra that he easily unfastens with a simple flick. Before he pulls the straps down your shoulders, kissing one side and then the other letting the bra slide down off your arms to the floor.

You couldn’t help but be swept up in the moment, intoxicated by his masterful touches and strong caresses of your body, but the perfectionist in you couldn’t help but think if this was an actual costume change, the stage manager would be ripping the door down with her bare hands by now wanting to know where the hell you were.

Kissing your neck again, Tom’s hands return to your waist and caress up your middle to your breasts and then back down your abdomen to your pants. He unbuttons them before slowly pulling the zipper down and slipping his fingers down inside them catching your panties as sliding them down over your hips and thighs before pulling them down your legs the rest of the way as you step out of them. Still kneeling down on the floor he puts your jeans aside having stripped you completely. His hands find their way back to your thighs as he places tender kisses to your skin. You shudder slightly feeling incredibly bare, vulnerable, and exposed. God, was this what he felt like every single time you did a complete costume change during the show?

You close your eyes knowing that you couldn’t say anything, not after having stripped, wash, and dress him probably more times than his mother did when he was a kid. Your body shivers slightly feeling like you wanted to dive under a blanket and play dead.

While Tom adjusted the water temperature, you try your best not to feel awkward. He pulls his shirt off and tosses it on the floor next to the pile of your clothes.

Now that you were rushed between scenes, you could appreciate the way his back muscles moved as he brought the shirt over his head. He glances at you in the mirror. "I like the way you look at me."

You clear your throat. "How-how's that?"

"Like I'm the greatest thing since color television."

You laugh and tip your chin up. "Maybe you are." He can't stop grinning that boyish, bubbling grin. He gaze drops to where his fingers glide up your upper arms. You shiver. The action pulls your nipples tight. You bite your bottom.

"Come on, let's see about the chill." His eyes hold a heat that has nothing to do with the shower or the steam filling the room and fogging the mirror.

Tom takes your hand, interlacing your fingers with his. He leads you into the shower. The water pelts down your body, bringing a heat flush to your skin. He reaches behind you unclips your hair. His hands dive into your hair, tilting your head back into the stream. His mouth covers yours, lips and tongue urging it open. His fingers work the water through your hair as your tongues dance.

He breaks the kiss and turns you around. He plays his fingers over your shoulders and down your arms. Those expert fingers massage the shampoo into your hair. "I've never asked you how you feel during costume changes."

He turns you back into the stream, rinsing your hair. "At first, it was a bit awkward and uncomfortable. But you remained professional and great at your job." When the water ran clear, he turns your back around to work conditioner into your hair. "Then I became interested in you. And I looked forward to costume changes. They let me spend time with you even for a short while."He turns you back into the stream.

"So how long have you been interested in me?" You nervously meet his eyes.

He looks to the water then down your body. "Awhile." He takes the soap and lathers up his hands. "I didn't want you to think I felt like you owed me anything. Or that I expected it because of the nature of our working relationship." His soapy hands rub down your arms then your back. "I wanted you to like me." He hesitates at your breasts then kneads them both. "I can't tell when I started fantasizing about switching positions with you." His hands work their way down your belly. You finally notice that he's still wearing his jeans, which are now utterly soaked. "Shortly after, it became harder to keep professional. Most days, I could control it. Others, I couldn't." You'd noticed.

His palms smoothed over the swell of your ass then worked down the muscles in your thighs, working deep into the tissue. You looked down at him. "You'd make a shit stage hand." He jerks. "You're taking too long."

He laughs. "Be gentle, Kitten. This is my first time." His fingers find the spot at the back of your knee. You can't suppress the moan it illicits. "Hmmmm, this has been an enlightening experience." Your upper body leans against the shower tiles. His hands work down your calves. He lifts your foot and thumbs the soles of your foot. You sigh and close your eyes. He places the foot back on the floor. Moving onto the next one, he gives it the same treatment. He watches you, drinking in the way your mouth moves in enjoyment. Resting your foot on his thigh, he kisses up your shin to your knee.

"I want you to be comfortable with me. So if you'd prefer to finish, I won't be disappointed."

You swallow slowly. Between the wine, the shower, and his touch, he'd managed to relax you. You anxiously bite your lip and take a deep breath. "You can finish. . ."

Tom rubs his stubble on the inside of your thigh. "Are you sure?"

You look down at him, rolling your tongue over your bottom lip. "Yes?"

He kisses your knee and rubs that spot on the back. "Yes? You don't sound so sure." Despite your nerves, your insecurities, you take another deep breath. "Yes."

He lathers up his hands again. Taking tender, slow time, he touches the most intimate part of you. He doesn't touch to excite or arouse. He places your foot on the floor then stands. Even though most of the water has rinsed away the soap, his hands smooth over your skin.

You turn into the spray. He rests his hands on your shoulders, kissing the top of your head. "How'd I do?"

"Very. . .thorough." He kisses down your neck and across your shoulder. "You need to work on your speed though."

He chuckles. "What if I enjoy it slow?" You lean your head back on his shoulder. His fingertips trace lines down your arms then back up. "Are we still talking about showering?"

"You'll just have to find out." He turns you around. "Will you wait for me in here?"

"Yea." He turns the water off. Toweling off, he leaves the bathroom, leaving the door open. He quickly changes out of the wet jeans and boxers into lounge pants.

You stand in the shower, the hot air keeping you warm. The warm fuzzy feeling from the shower receding to make you nervous and self-conscious.

Tom comes back into the room with a towel and some clothes. He fluffs out the towel and holds it open for you. You step in, allowing him to wrap his arms and the towel around you. "I'll let you get dressed. Come into the living room when you're done." He takes your face in his hands and kisses you soundly, tenderly. Pulling back, he searches your face, smiling at what he sees there. You can't imagine what he sees. Maybe your budding feelings, you awkard shyness, your nervous desire.

You towel off quickly and pull on the clothes he left you, a pair of lounge pants and of all things, a Loki tee. You smile and shake your head. Incorrigible. You finger comb your long tresses then twist them up into a clip.

Looking in the mirror, you can't see what he sees. To you, you're still the awkward theater nerd that dreamed of Broadway and the Globe. Sure you were reasonably attractive, but you're no bombshell.

The sounds of a crackling fire meet you in the hall. The fire light is the only light in the room. He's laid out a blanket on the floor in front of the fireplace. There's a bottle of wine chilling in a bucket of ice and your glasses sit along the fireplace tiles. Soft acoustic guitar comes from hidden speakers. You recognize the song as Corey Taylor's live cover of the Rolling Stones 'Wild Horses'.

His long arms wrap around you from behind. He nuzzles his face into the side of your neck. "Kitten, I hope you don't mind my touching you. I can't get enough now that I can."

You smile a little wrapping your arms over his holding them tight to you. “It’s not that I ever . . . you know. Would have stopped you to begin with.” Your eyes turn down a little embarrassed realizing had your job not been so important to you, it was probably the only reason you didn’t go through with the passionate frenzy that was happening on your couch the first night he asked you out and walked you home. “Kinda makes me a slut to admit that doesn’t it.”

Tom smiles holding you tighter swaying a bit resting his cheek to yours, pressing his hips against your backside. “I don’t think so.” He says softly. Then he nuzzles your ear, “How much of a perverted bastard does it make me to admit if you hadn’t found a moment of sanity . . . I would have had you right then and there in every way and as many times as physically possible.”

“Come on Tom, even then I knew you weren’t like that.” You say seriously knowing that since you had stopped him that first night it seemed to be his biggest fear, that you would think he was some kind of player.

He smiles holding you tighter still in his strong arms against his firm powerful body continuing to sway slowly with you to the music. “I’m glad we didn’t go through with it then. Because It's going to be so much better when it's time. When we are ready.” He says wrapping his arms around you a bit better as your bodies molded together into each other. “I love spending time with you. I’ve never known anyone like you before.”

You smile a little bit, “An American?”

He chuckles a bit, “Oh, I’ve spent time with American’s and every single one an interesting character. But much the same can be said for all the other nationalities as well.” A quiet moment passes before he releases you just enough to turn you to face him, then he wraps his arms around you lacing his fingers together at the small of your back holding you tight against him. “Your friend Ellen has provided some enlightening contrast, quite unintentionally and completely unknown I’m sure.”

You’re smile fades as you begin to worry a bit, “Oh no, she didn’t do anything to embarrass you did she?”

Tom grins and shakes his head nuzzling your face slightly, “No, no not at all.” He says reassuring you before looking down into your eyes again taking a moment to collect his thoughts. “When we first met, you didn’t know me from a volunteer usher. You hadn’t seen any of the movies I was in, you didn’t follow me on every social media known to mankind, you weren’t a card carrying member of Loki’s army. I believe what you told me, was that I was just a name on a page. Just an actor that you were going to be working with. You and I were in the same room often for a good few months and all you knew was that I was playing the lead and perhaps my name. You also told me, that what drew you too me in the first place was because of my personality. Because of my beliefs, and because of how I treat people. With respect and courtesy. Do you remember telling me this?”

You look into his eyes giving a nod. “Was after our first date.” You remember telling him way more than one probably usually would if they were playing the game.

“It wasn’t until after you were assigned to work with me, that you started to look into my career and watch the movies that I’ve been in. You didn’t even know who Loki was even though Ellen explained many times that she tried to get you to watch said movies when they came out.” He smiled actually really liking that detail, “Even then I’d wager you only watched them once.” You blush a little looking away a little sheepish.

“I haven’t really had any time to watch movies since coming over here and signing on with Donmar.” You say quickly making your excuse.

He chuckles as his grin grows brighter, “But that’s exactly what I mean. At first all I was to you was some guy. Then you got to know me as me. Not as a character I played or a costume I wore. I knew when you told me, that it was me that you were drawn to. Not “Tom Hiddleston” but just Tom. Just me.” He can’t resist and draws you into a tender kiss before wrapping his arms around you embracing you tight. “Even then, you didn’t throw yourself at me. You’ve always put the work first, just as I do. Always, even when you’re exhausted and running on autopilot you give it everything you’ve got and more. You do things for people, you care for others, you don’t complain and just . . . . do so much, so much better than most.” He hugs you tighter still resting his face close to yours as though he was afraid you were a dream and if he didn’t hold on tight you might disappear. “If you only knew how truly beautiful and wondrous you are.” He kisses your head before whispering into your ear, “How glorious it felt finding that you actually care for me.” He grinned rocking with you in his arms slightly, “You have no idea how difficult it was to keep the right emotion in that scene when I went back out and not simply break out dancing with joy . . . oh darling.”

Your eyes are wide as your head rests to his shoulder your arms tight around him as well. So that was why he actually stopped and kissed you and you had to shoo him out of the changing room back into the wings. Was he talking about you? Really? Who was this person he was describing? It couldn’t have been you. You usually worked by yourself. You showed up early, you stayed late; you worked in your own little work space or the laundry room. And you were grumpy A LOT. You cursed like a sailor sometimes, and you did get a little stressed out sometimes like when they told you his entire wardrobe for the play had been ransacked, destroyed or stolen leaving you with very little time to replace and refit anything before the show the next evening . . . . you were probably capable of taking the life of a fellow human being at several points during the day. It was hard for you just to take little compliments, and beautiful? Maybe he needed glasses for more than just reading. You pull back from his embrace a little your eyes turned down a little confused as you rest your hands on his chest, “Tom,” You begin feeling like maybe he’s gotten the wrong impression about you completely. “I. . . I don’t think . . . .” How did you express something you weren’t even sure how to put into words. “. . . . I don’t know this girl you are talking about.” You say before looking up at him. “I don’t think I’ve ever even met her . . . . .” No one thought this highly of you. At least if they did, they never said it. You feel like you want to say more but you simply have no idea how to continue finding yourself at a loss for words.

You felt incredibly vulnerable and indescribably uncomfortable right at this moment even though Tom wasn’t doing anything but holding you close. All he wanted to do right now was hold you. But your body was becoming more tense by the second. He starts to say something but you suddenly step back from his arms out of his reach. His smile flees seeing your sudden change in demeanor. “I’m sorry Kitten, I didn’t mean to . . .” He reaches out and steps closer to you but instantly you move away again.

Realizing how incredibly rude you were being you clear your throat, “I . . . . forgot to brush my teeth.” You say sliding your fingers through the tips of your hair. “I should go do that.” Before he could react or say a word you quickly walk passed him heading back to where you’d showered just a little while before. Getting into the bathroom you quickly close the door resting both of your hands on it just bracing yourself against it as your eyes are turned down but you stare at nothing trying to catch your breath. “Oh God.” You whisper barely able to make a sound. Turning you lean your back against the door sliding down to sit on the floor as you cover your mouth your eyes still as big as baseballs. “What have I gotten myself into here?” You can hardly breath, it felt like your heart was going a hundred miles an hour thumbing against your chest so hard it felt like it was going to explode at any time.

Why this? Why now? Why couldn’t you have just thrown caution aside and fucked him on your couch that first night. Then it would be all over and done with. You cover your face with your hands again leaning your head back against the door. “Oh my God.” You breathe again leaning forward covering your eyes as they had become red and welled with tears. You were in a full out panic attack and it felt like you were going to die.

You didn't even realize you were crying until the cave of your arms and knees was a humid mess. You let your head thump against the door. A soft knock answers from the other side. "Shelia? Are you alright?"

You wipe your face with the palm of your hand. "Fine. I'm fine."

Tom sighs. "Kitten. Baby, please don't lie to me." Your stomach twists. "Open the door please."

"I don't want to." It sounded like a petulant child.

"Alright." The door moves add he settles down on the other side, mirroring you with his back against the door. "You don't have to open the door, but would you please talk to me?"

"I'm sorry, Tom. I'm a neurotic mess."

" Shel, stop. I know you're not fine so would you tell me what's wrong? Please? I thought tonight was going so well."

You squeeze your eyes closed then open them, staring at the ceiling. "You think I'm this great person. And I'm not. I've got a temper. I'm neurotic. I'm weird and strange. And loud and abrasive."

"And I adore you and all those things about you."

"But why? I'm nothing special. I'm not perfect."

"But you ARE special. And, Kitten, no one's perfect. We just find people who are perfect FOR us."

You swallow and make a command decision. "I have to tell you something."

He nodded then seemed to realize you couldn't see him. "Go ahead, love."

Taking a breath, you let it out slowly. "The reason I left LA was a leading man. The situation was somewhat similar to ours. I helped him with costume changes. But the difference, the most important difference, is that he thought I owed him. He groped. He made inappropriate comments. And being somewhat naive at my young age, I took it as he liked me. So, we started having an affair. And that's what it was. He was married." You twist the pants between your hands.

"Oh, Kitten." The pain in his voice squeezed her heart.

"He was mean and rude. And the more we had sex, the increasingly violent he became. I like it rough from time to time. But he became so sexually violent, I had to go the hospital on more than one occasion. The stage manager found out about our relationship when he damn near broke my wrist. To 'protect me', he fired me." Your head drops forward onto your knees again.

You hear a sharp intake of breath. "Shelia. Darling, please open the door."

"He was handsome and talented and charismatic. And I was shy and strange and average." Your chest squeezes with wounds remembered. The tears are hot and fast. "Young and stupid. Ellen basically kidnapped me and brought me home. Six months later, I moved to New York."

"Shel, baby, please. Open the door."

"Not yet, Thomas. Please?" Your hands shake as they lay curled at your sides. Your whole body is shaking in fact. These memories left you raw and vulnerable.

After awhile, Tom knocks again. "Darling, it's getting late. Could you please open the door?" This was silly and ridiculous. You'd locked him out of his own bathroom. Punished him for your demons. Ruined his beautiful, romantic evening with your neurosis.

You stand, turning the knob and letting the door swing open. Tom draws you into his arms, holding you tightly. You don't pull away but you don't wrap your arms around him. He seems content to just hold you.

"Shelia, my sweet, I will never ever hurt you like that. Please, don't speak. Let me finish. You're wonderful with all you flaws. I enjoy them. He was rubbish. A horrible person. You did nothing to deserve the way he treated you. You deserve to be someone's queen, their partner, their equal." He tips your chin up to look you directly in the face, in the eyes. "And if you'd just let go, I want to see if you're mine." Oh fucking hell. Why? Why did have to be so damn wonderful? The tears start anew. "Oh Kitten, please don't cry."

He cups your face and kisses you tenderly. "I'll try. But I can't promise I won't spazz out again."

"We'll take it at your pace. I'm ready and willing to wait or do whatever you need." He wipes away the tears with his thumbs. "The only thing I'm asking of you tonight is to let me hold you." You take a deep breath and let it out.

"Alright. I think I can manage that." You manage a half smile.

"Good." Music is still playing. The fire has burnt down some. He leads you into the room by linked hands. He settles down on the blanket with his back against the chair. He looks up at you, patting the floor between his legs. Your body tenses but the pleading look in his eyes keeps you from running for the door.

You sit in between his legs, settling your back to his chest. He wraps his arms around your shoulders, leaning his head to yours.

"That wasn't so hard, was it?" "No. But yes."

His fingertips caress your upper arm. "Explain it to me."

"You're so amazingly sweet and wonderful. And I'm afraid your going to look at me one day and find me wanting."

"Kitten, you can't throw away today for some imagined tomorrow." He squeezes you. The fire light flickering shadows over the room. You lean your head on his.

"This is the most romantic situation I've been in. And I keep lousing it up."

His hands knead your upper arms. "Just breath, baby." He kisses the side of your head.

You can't be sure when you fell asleep. Maybe it was after the second glass of wine and the rugby stories. Tom's chest rose and fell behind you. You stared into the dying fire, listening to his sleeping breath and steady heartbeat. You needed to talk to Ellen before she flew back home. She was your grounding wire. She'd saved you from Tyler. She'd helped you pick up the pieces. Maybe she could slap some sense into you.

You snuggle into his chest. He sighs and tightens his arms around you. He smelled warm and sexy even in his pajamas. He wasn't anything like Tyler. He deserved better than to be punished for that prick's deeds. Maybe some ground rules would help you be less of a spastic. That would be something to discuss after breakfast.

You tilt your head so that you can lay soft kisses along his arm. He smiles and opens one eye. "You ok?" His voice is thick with sleep and fuck all sexy.

"I'm good. Aren't you uncomfortable?"

"I'll be alright. I don't want to trip your run away trigger by inviting you into my bed."

"Compromise? Lay on the couch?"

"Deal." You scoot away so he can stand. He groans and stretches after standing. "I'll lay on the inside so that you can get up if it starts to be too much."

Fuck him, he was too damn sweet. He lay down the length of the couch. You pull the blanket with you when you lay along the line of his body. He curls an arm around you, molding your body to his. You're acutely aware of the two thin layers of clothing separating the two of you. He tugs the blanket up over you. Nuzzling the side of your neck behind your ear. "Happy dreams, my sweet." You stay awake until his breath and heartbeat slow and even out with sleep. Only then, do you let yourself fall back to sleep.

Tom shifts slightly feeling a bit cold, then opens his eyes realizing why. You weren’t there. He lifts his head looking around not seeing you anywhere. Pulling the cover back he gets up heading into the kitchen finding you had made coffee and were sitting on one of the tall chairs at the bar holding a cup between your hands lost in thought.

Walking up behind you he gently rests his hand on the small of your back, “Good morning kitten.” He says gently kissing your cheek, before walking around the bar getting a coffee cup, “Is this your industrial strength American coffee?” He asks.

You smile a little, “Might be a bit strong for you.” You admit putting the coffee cup down but your hands still firmly around it as you sit up. He chuckles before pouring himself a cup as well then walking over standing opposite you.

“What’s on your mind love?” He questions taking a sip of coffee leaning against the counter.

You look down a moment before taking a breath, “I feel like a complete ass.” You admit honestly. “I . . . am so ashamed of myself right now, I honestly understand if you don’t even want to talk to me for the rest of the run. We can just do our jobs as always without acknowledging the other ones existence. I’ll understand.”

He furrows his brow putting down his cup not understanding, “Shelia . . .”

“No, please. My turn to talk.” You say having hardly been able to sleep since he gathered you out of your pathetic anxiety attack. You hesitate a moment before looking at him, “Ellen mentioned it just once since she came over. What happened when I lived back there?” You were back to your sensible self now and weren’t going to mentioned it or speak of it directly. Like you had resolved yourself to do since you left that place. “I basically ripped her head off and told her she promised. She promised we were never going to mention it again, because it didn’t really happen.” You half laugh running your hand over your face, “Then what did I do? The most wonderful, kind, brilliant, intelligent, charming man I’ve ever met told me he thinks the world of me . . . . .” You still couldn’t believe what you did and turn your eyes away shaking your head, “And I just completely . . . . cave and tell you everything that happened like it’s some kind of excuse for the way I’ve acted. And it’s not. It’s not an excuse for being an idiot and putting you through hell. Like you don’t have enough to put up with and do in your life when your career is taking off.” You sigh and let go of the cup standing from the seat, “Tom . . . . you deserve someone better than me. Someone that isn’t a complete moron, or a weak, or incapable of just letting good things happen and doing everything she can to fuck it up just because she’s afraid of getting in trouble or getting hurt.” You say softly. “I think . . . my clothes are probably dry enough to wear now, and I’ll call a cab to take me home.” It seemed that even though you really liked him, cared for him . . . you had accepted that you not only completely failed and fucked it all up and it was your fault that you just had to deal with the consequences.

When you turn to head back to the bathroom, Tom ducked around the counter and catches your arm stopping you. Honestly, you truly weren’t expecting that and turned looking at him. He didn’t speak right away and instead just pulled you a bit closer taking your other hand. He genuinely looked upset. Upset that it sounded like you had just decided unilaterally that it was all over before it had begun and hurt you were just going to walk away leave.

“Shelia,” He begins almost as if searching for some place to start, for what to say. “How many people know of what happened to you in LA? How many people have any idea how you were treated?” He questioned seriously.

“Nobody knows besides me an Ellen accept for the people who were there.” You answer softly. “It’s not even in my records, because I changed . . .” Here you go, more confessions you should really just shut up and keep to yourself about. “I changed my name so I could omit what happened from my resume so it wouldn’t be held against me.”

“Shelia isn’t your real name?” He questioned.

“It’s one of my middle names.” You confess starting to pull away realizing that you couldn’t help but being honest with him. If he asked you a question you were going to answer it and answer it truthfully. This wasn’t a good situation for you at all. “Tom, I really should go get . . . changed . . .”

“I’m the first person you told since then about what happened?” He questions further.

“Yes.” You confirm ashamed of it. “And I’m sorry, I don’t like to pull other people into my drama and you have much more important . . . .”

“Shhh.” He says reaching up and gently resting his finger to your lips to hush you. “Stop.” You quiet looking into his eyes. “I don’t think you even realize what it is you’ve just said. Do you.” You shake your head a little bit. “You just told me that I am the only person, since all of that happened, that you’ve let in on a terribly painful experience of your life. That you’ve trusted enough to share a secret that haunts you.”

Your eyes go wide, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to . . . .”

“No, Shelia . . . . . kitten, it’s alright.” He says resting his hands on your shoulders, “You don’t seem to understand that I don’t think of you as a burden, I don’t think of you trusting me as a burden. It’s a privilege.” He takes your hands in his holding them tight and pulling you closer, “I want to know about you. I want to know about your past, your dreams, your thoughts, everything. I want you to share everything you are comfortable sharing with me. I am not going to tell anyone about any of this, anything you confide in me is safe. I promise you.” He looks into your eyes and kisses your lips tenderly before looking into your eyes, “Your secrets are safe with me, kitten. Just as you are, and you will always be.” He cups your face in his hand gently stroking your cheek with his thumb. “Please . . . . don’t run away from me.” He whispers gently.

You turn your eyes down away from him a moment. To be honest, you didn’t want to run away from him. You didn’t want to push him away. You wanted to melt into his arms forever and just have him hold you that wonderful way he does. With his whole body, with his whole being. It always felt so wonderful, so safe, so right. You lean a little close and whisper almost to quiet to hear, “I’m scared.” You say nervous.

“I know love.” He says caressing your cheek ever so gently. “But I promise you, you have nothing to fear from me. Not ever. Just . . . . give us a chance. Please?”

Your head was throwing up red flags in every direction, telling you to stop this right now and get out while you still could. Your heart however, your heart sometimes had a tendency to override your good sense. And there was Tom. He wanted so desperately to get to know you, to keep your company. Everyone kept telling you, ‘take a chance, take a chance, don’t miss out on something good just because you’re afraid’. Looking into his beautiful eyes, the pleading in them that you didn’t turn him away. “Okay.” You whisper with a small nod. “Okay.”Tom could see and understand now why you were so afraid, and he simply nodded as well taking your hands and kissing them. Then he touches your cheek and kisses your lips tenderly. “If . . . maybe we could just forget last night. Everything I said, everything I told you. Could we just . . . please pretend it didn’t happen? Please?”

Tom thinks for a moment before giving a nod, “If that’s what you wish then yes. We don’t have to talk about it anymore.” You give a sigh of relief thankful he was able to give you that. “I’m not running from you but I really do need to be getting home. Ellen is going home soon and I need to spend time with her before going to the theater tonight.“ You say apologetically.

“Alright, I’ll take you.”You’re clothes are still in the wash I didn’t have a chance to put them in the dryer yet. But you can wear these love.” He says rubbing your shoulders. “Go get your things and I’ll get my keys.” He kisses you once more and you turn heading out of the kitchen. However before you can disappear completely he hurries after you and takes your hand, “But before we . . . leave this subject and put it behind us I have one more deeply personal question I need to ask you.” You turn towards him bracing yourself waiting to hear it. “When was the last time you had sex?”

You hesitate a moment quite embarrassed as your cheeks blush red. Your eyes turn down, “With him.” You say simply before pulling your hand from his and hurrying out of the kitchen. Tom doesn’t run after you again letting you go get your things but so many things seemed to make sense now.

 

(Continued -->)


	4. Limelight - Chapter 4

A while later Tom’s Jag pulls up outside your flat. You’re wearing the clothes he let you borrow last night and one of his hoodies looking out the window a moment. You open the door starting to get out before he catches your hand. “Hey.” He says calling you back as he pulls you closer and leans in kissing you tenderly. You close your eyes savoring the taste before he kisses your hand. “I’ll see you tonight.”

You nod. “Okay.” You say with a smile still feeling incredibly foolish and vulnerable. Then you pick up your bag and get out careful not to slam his door before heading up the walkway. You open the gate and go up to your porch finding the door unlocked. You turn back and wave at him and he waves back before pulling away. Your smile fades and you close your eyes shaking your head going inside closing the door behind you. Could you have fucked things up anymore royally?

As Tom drives back to his house he dials his phone before holding it up to his ear when it picks up, “Ellen? This is Tom. I need to speak with you as soon as you have a chance. Privately. Call me as soon as Shelia leaves for the theater tonight.”

Ellen is sitting at the table in the kitchen. The smell of coffee and bacon make your stomach growl. You drop your bag on the couch and kick off your shoes. You unclip your hair as you walk through the house, fluffing it out, finger combing it out then gathering it back up and clipping it once more.

You pour yourself a cup of coffee and sit across from your best friend. "Did you have fun?"

"Loads. I have tons of pictures. Not enough of us though. You are off tomorrow right?"

You sip the coffee. This morning called for hot and black. "Unless something unforeseen happens, yes."

"Good. We need a day just you and I." Ellen reaches across the table and takes your hand. "So what did you want to talk about?"

You stare down into the coffee, gathering your thoughts and putting them in order. "For starters, I owe you an apology for being a bitch when you brought up Ty."

Ellen takes her hand back. "I thought you didn't want to bring him up. Ever."

You sigh and twist your hands together. "I don't." Ellen crosses her arms over her chest. "I told Tom."

"You did what?"

"I had a panic attack. Complete utter freak out." You splay your hands in the air in front of you. You thump back in the chair. "He had this whole romantic evening laid out it and I ruined it."

"That answers my next question of did you sleep with him."

"I slept with him. Literally. He held me all night while we slept. No sex."

"Are you ready for sex?"

"No."

"Do you want to have sex with him?"

You look down at your cup, turning it in a circle with your thumb and fingertips. "Yes."

"Then you need to let him in. He obviously cares. No man would put this much effort to fuck you and leave you. Even for bomb ass pussy."

You laugh, surprised you even could. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"So what's the actual issue? You like each other. You're attracted to each other. You both want more than a short term purely physical relationship. So where's the problem?"

Rip off the bandaid. "I haven't had sex since Tyler."

"Wait. What?" Ellen uncrosses her arms and leans forward. "What about Brett the dancer?"

You shake your head. "Blowjobs and hand jobs. And that's kinda why he stopped seeing me. He wanted sex and I just couldn't."

"Oh, honey." Ellen reaches for your hands but you pull them away and into your lap, where you continue to twist your fingers together.

"I'm scared. What if I hate sex now? What if I'm so fucked up that I need to be hurt and violated? What if I can't have normal sex and enjoy it?" And you're crying, hot stinging tears. The sobs are painful vices on your chest.

Ellen jumps up and comes around the table. Her arms wrap around you and the chair. "Oh Shel. Hey, it's ok." She shushes you.

"What if I'm too broken? Too fucked up and Tom doesn't want to bother with it?"

Ellen soothes your hair. "I won't say that's not gonna happen. But you don't know until you try. Remember how much you loved sex before Tyler."

"I'm trying. But once things get hot or lovey, I wig." You leave out the unexpected orgasm from yesterday afternoon.

"You have to let yourself be happy. It's ok to be scared. But don't shut down. Talk to him. He cares about you. He'll listen." That's what he keeps telling you. Maybe it was you that should listen.

"I need to go to the gym. I haven't been for 2 days. I need to run."

Ellen squeezes you. "That works. You go get some sweat therapy and I'm going to nap. I've barely slept the last two days."

You turn to her. "And since I'm getting things out there, I feel shitty because you got to do nearly everything I wanted to do with you with your Facebook friends."

"Shel, I-" Ellen let's go of you and stands up. "Shit. I thought I was doing you a favor. I never thought."

You shrug. "There's always next time I guess."

Ellen pulls you up, despite you going dead weight. "Look, I'm sorry. We'll spend the afternoon together today and all day tomorrow. The girls are flying out today so it's just you and me."

You nod. "Get some rest. I'll try to get my head on straight."

The shower runs hot. The gym time centered you. The run let you empty your mind and it felt so good you did body work. Your legs and ass were deliciously sore. You watched the water and the suds swirl down the drain. Getting things out in the open felt like excision. Plucking a thorn from a festering wound. Finally admitting all the things you didn't want to admit helped fit pieces back together.

The afternoon with Ellen flew by in laughter and pictures. So that you almost felt normal as you walked into the Warehouse to get things ready for the performance.

He had hardly expected so many explicit and graphic details but it explained a lot. Filled in a lot of blanks and put the puzzle pieces together. There was so much he understood now that he didn’t understand before. Tom was lost in thought for a good long time turning over all these details he had uncovered in such a few short moments sitting across from Ellen in the small café. They had met up at his request as soon as Shelia left to go to the theater to get started on her prepwork. “So then what do I do? How do I keep from upsetting her so again?”

Ellen smiles a little, “Tom, just keep being you. Keep doing what you have been doing. You don’t need any advice on that. No one on this planet has ever treated her like you have been. Upsetting her from time to time is probably going to happen, because she is a woman after all hand she’s been put through the grinder a few times, but she puts that aside. She pushes it away and leaves it in the past because she Shelia. She’s learned from her mistakes and she doesn’t let them stop her from living her life. From living her dream and working.” Tom nods a bit still couldn’t help but be a bit nervous. “She adores you. And not in the same way me and the other ladies in my group do. She couldn’t give a rip about Loki. All she sees in movies are actors playing a part. It’s one of her worst fears to let someone down or disappoint them. Especially someone she really cares about. She’s worried that she’s going to let you down.”

This was a lot to take in, a lot to think about and go over. Tom finished his drink and look at his watch, “I’m due at the theater in just a few minutes.” He says, “Are you coming to the play tonight? Would you like a ride?”

“Not tonight. I think I’m going to go back to Sheila’s flat. She was pretty down and devastated when she came in this morning. I want to do something nice for her, you know? Maybe make us some of her favorite comfort foods, watch a couple of our favorite movies from when we were in high school sort of thing.” Tom gives a nod taking out his wallet and paying the bill as well as living a tip before they both stand and head outside. Before they part ways, Ellen stops and looks at him. “Thank you.” She says sincerely.

Tom pauses, “For what?”

“For caring about her enough to come to me. No other guy she’s seen would have gone to the trouble. As soon as they find resistance or a road bump of any kind, they decide she’s not worth it and drop her like a hot rock before disappearing.” She admits. “Sheila’s a good girl, with a kind heart just filled with love. But she’s been convinced that no one wants it.”

“Then forgive me for saying this Ellen, but the men she’s kept company in the past were first rate assholes with no brains. They didn’t deserve to even breathe air.”

Ellen smiled a bit more, “She needs something like you in her life. I’m glad.”

Tom walks towards her and takes her hand, “It has been a privilege and an honor to meet you Miss Ellen. I’m thankful to know she has someone who has loved her and cared about her so much all these years.” He kissed her knuckles before looking at her, “I I don’t meet you again before your flight, then please have a safe journey.”

Ellen smiles and nods before they turn parting ways. Ellen to go shopping, and Tom, back to the theater to get ready for tonight’s performance.

After the performance, Tom didn't go out to meet the fans. He stayed with you while you cleaned up and prepped for tomorrow. You complete your routine and get ready to leave.

"Have fun watching me?"

"You're very meticulous. You've got a routine you don't vary from. You acted like I wasn't here."

You duck your head sheepishly. "I pretended you weren't. You make me nervous sometimes."

Tom takes your hand, sliding his palm along yours then locking your fingers. "There's no need to be. You're safe with me." He looks down at you. "I hope you know that."

You avoid his eyes. The only people left in the theater are the crew. You round the corner and bump into Mark and Stephen.

"Shel! Would you and Tom like to join for dinner and drinks?"

"I can't. My best friend leaves for the States day after tomorrow. Maybe after that?" You look up at Tom who just so happens to be beaming down at you. You blush at such an open display of care. He looks to Mark.

"Of course, old boy."

"Thursday? Stephen is usually exhausted after Wednesday's double performance. I suspect Shelia is too?"  
"Thursday it is." Stephen half hugs you as you part. Tom squeezes your hand. "You're ok with this?" Actually, you were. Doing things as a couple was natural progression. And you couldn't think of anyone better to do it with than Mark and Stephen.

"Yea. I mean, yes. Stephen's a good friend and I like Mark."

Faisal waited by the door. "Do you want me to drive you home? It's a bit cold being January after all."

"No, I'm good. The side walk is shoveled the whole way." Tom leans down, taking your face in his hands. He kisses you. This kiss is different than the others. His lips and tongue tell you he cares about you, you're special, you mean something to him, every brush and sweep. His body moves and lifts you up slightly. He lets go of your face to grab your arms, deepening the kiss, stealing your breath.

Good lord could he kiss. When it broke, you drew in a deep breath. "See you Tuesday?"

"I've got to take Ellen to the airport." 

"Come to my house after?"

You shift slightly, his grip on your arms becoming uncomfortable. Tyler used to grab you like that. Tom senses your tension and slowly removes his hands. You smile, grateful for his excellent perception. "Ok. Should I bring anything?"

"Only your gorgeous self." He steals another kiss. " You can call me. Or text me. Any time." He takes one last kiss then ducks out the door behind Faisal.

The crowd has dispersed some because they thought Tom wasn't coming out. You make your way through the crowd and walk home. The cold air reddens your face, forcing you shove your hands into your pockets.

The lights are on in your living room and 90s alternative is muffled from inside. You open the door to the smell of cooking meat and something sweet. Ellen has your back door open, smoking a cigarette.

"You're home! Great. Dinner is almost ready."

"It smells delicious."

"Steak, glazed carrots and homemade scalloped potatoes."

"Why are you fixing my favorite meal?" You open he fridge and grab a bottled water. "Because you don't. You're practically drooling."

"I am not!"

Ellen closes the door and goes over to the stove. She goes for honesty. "After last night and this morning, I thought you might need a little comfort food."

"You're right. Pistachio pistachio ice cream?"

"Bitch, are you crazy? I overpaid for the damn steak. And the girl at the grocers looked at me like I was talking gibberish when I asked for Ben & Jerry's."

"I'll have to eat a pint a day when I come back to the States to visit." Ellen laughs. "Good, maybe you'll get some weight on you."

"Hey, I eat. I just hate cooking for one."

Ellen chooses to leave the obvious alone. Tonight was about comforting her best friend, not poking the bear. Especially when the bear looked to be in better spirits.

You check your phone as you snuggle into bed. A message from Tom. 'Good night, Kitten. Wish I had you to snuggle with tonight.'

You message back. 'Night, sugar. We have plenty of time to snuggle.'

You start to doze off but the phone vibrates on your chest. 'Exactly. I'm not going anywhere.'

The bed moves as Ellen crawls into bed. "You need bestie snuggles." She spoons against your back. Resting her head right behind yours. "Are you gonna be ok when I leave?"

You thought over the last 24 hours. "I think so."

"Are you going to give Tom a chance?"

You sigh. "Yes. I'm going to try. He's not like anyone I've met. And he's been wonderful about this shit."

Ellen nudges you. "He really does care about you." She brushes the hair from your face and kisses your cheek. "This could be good for you."

"I know. . ."

You spend your first day off shopping and sightseeing with Ellen. She takes you a couple places that you hadn't thought of that her Facebook friends had taken her. You get her fish and chips from the same place Tom had gotten them the night before.

Your second day off finds you standing on the concourse, watching your best friend in the whole world walk toward the terminal. A bubble of anxiety swells in your chest. You watch her until you can't see her anymore. Tears blur your eyes as you hurry through the airport. You thought you would handle this better. You twist the strap of your cross body purse in your hands. You make the drive to Tom's gated community. The guard at the gate house let's you in after taking your name. He gives you directions when you tell him that you're not exactly sure how to get there.

There's several cars in his drive when you pull in. Twisting the steering wheel, you almost change your mind and go home. You press your forehead to the steering wheel, composing yourself. The anxiety bubble is making it hard to breath and focus.

The chill air steams your breath in the afternoon. Your boots crunch the frosty snow as you make your way hesitantly across the lawn and up to the door. You knock, secretly hoping no one will hear.

A waif thin brunette with sharp cheek bones opens the door. The wine glass hovers close to her mouth. "Yes?" She's severely pretty, definitely a pro a resting bitch face.

"Um, I'm Shelia. Tom asked me to stop by."

She looks you over from head to toe, clearing taking stock of you. "Thomas!" She doesn't move to let you in, making you wait in the cold. You shiver slightly under the suede jacket, the sherpa lining not combating January London cold.

Tom comes to the door. "What is it, Jane?" She nods her head at you. "Kitten! You made it!" He pulls you inside and into his arms. You close your eyes, savoring his touch and warmth. "I'm so very glad you did." You look up at him. He's looking down at you, positively smitten. He closes the door behind you, moving his arm to rest around your shoulders. "Did Ellen get off alright?"

"Yes, I came directly here." He leads you into the living room, leaving Jane by the door. You hear voices, several voices. "Tom, what's going on?"

"Dinner party, darling. Come on, they're going to love you." You glance back at Jane, feeling her glare upon you.

“Dinner party?” You stop pulling him to a halt. “Tom, I’m not . . . I’m not dressed very well for this.” You say worriedly. “Maybe it’s better if I just go home and you could call me tomorrow.” You started to turn away seeing a woman with her arms crossed starring at you.

Tom chuckles, “Don’t be silly kitten you look wonderful.” He says taking your bag and coat before you had a chance to protest any further hanging them up in the hallway before wrapping your arm around his and escorting you into the living room. You look around feeling incredibly out of place. When you enter everyone stops and looks at you and unconsciously you start to step back but Tom wraps his arm around your waist stepping forward. “Everyone, this is Sheila. We work together at the Donmar.” He said introducing you.

You half smile still not knowing what to do or how to react, “Hello.” You say with a small wave. Tom grins and kisses your cheek before leading you to the couch sitting down with you as the party seemed to continue. You sit quietly, your eyes wide, your hands folded in your lap not knowing what to do or how to react.

Tom introduces everyone. There's Ben and his friend Sophie. He seemed pleased to see you again. Tom's sister Emma and the glaring Jane and Andy Murray who you recognized from Wimbledon. You excuse yourself and hurry to the bathroom. Tom watches you. He catches Jane watching you too. Curious. You fix your hair in the clip, forming a disheveled but cute mess. You stop and look at yourself. Did you really just fix your hair so that he'd touch it? Yes. Yes, you did. You run cold water over your wrists and splash a little on your face.

A soft knock proceeds Tom opening the door slowly. Shit. You'd been so frazzled you forgot to lock the door.

"You ok?" Your smile feels a tad strained and you nod. But Tom just looks at you. You give up and shake your head.

"No. I'm uncomfortable and awkward. And-"

"Kitten. It's alright. I'm here. I invited you because these are the most important people in my life. Ben, Emma, Andy. And you." He sets the wine glass on the counter and takes your hands in his, lifting them by the palms with his fingers.

"I don't want to be alone tonight."

He turns his palms on yours and locks fingers with you. You were starting to like that it. "Then stay. They'll only be here for a few hours. Then we can cuddle on the couch."

That sounds wonderful. "But what about the double performance tomorrow?"

"Shel, you worry too much, Kitten." He kisses your knuckles. "Come on, have a glass of wine. We'll eat. They'll talk and drink and be gone in a few hours. You don't have to say anything. Just be there. I told them you were shy and quiet until you warmed up. Please?"

Tom put up with so much from you. And you hadn't even been dating long. You could suck it up for one dinner party.

"I don't think Jane likes me."

"You're probably right. I think she's done with Andy and has her sights on me. You present a problem." You begin to compare yourself to Jane and you'd Google her when you got the chance. As if this week wasn't stressful enough.

You raise your brows looking at him, “Well at least your perceptive and know what’s going on.” Yet another reason to love this man. A lot of guys who were being perused by manipulative women had no idea what was going on. Tom wasn’t a fool, he was completely aware of everything going on around him. It was probably why he was such a good actor too.

He smiles and kisses your cheek, “Everything’s alright darling. Just relax.” He looks into your eyes his own shining that you were there tonight with him. Tom wraps his arms around your waist pulling you against him kissing you tenderly. His kisses were so absolutely heavenly. It made your entire body tingle down to the soles of your feet.

“So.” You say with a small smile, “What’s for dinner?”

Tom grins taking your hand, “How do you feel about Italian?” He questions leading you out of the bathroom.

“As long as nothing is looking at me from the plate, I’m game.” You both laugh and go back into the living room regaining your seat on the sofa. Tom walks away for a moment but comes back carrying two wine glasses, handing you one he sits down next to you again. You smile and take a sip of your wine.

“So Shelia.” Benedict Cumberbatch says catching your attention. Wow that was weird, Sherlock was sitting 5 feet away from you saying your name. “How do you like working with Tom at the Donmar? Real slave driver isn’t he.”

The group laughs a little all having worked with Tom knowing what he was like. “Only during the performances.” You answer honestly. “He’s very dedicated to his role.”

“Me?” Tom says looking at Ben, “This woman makes me look like a nervous choir boy, Ben. You wouldn’t believe the lengths she’s gone to, to make certain I get to the wings on time and looking the best I can. God help the foolish person who gets in the way of that.” Tom grins and takes your hand lacing his fingers with yours as he rests them on your thigh.

“Somehow I find that hard to believe.” Ben says with a smile.

“Dinners served.” A voice comes from the kitchen. Everyone stood from their seats and Tom helps you stand holding your hand as you all walk to the dining room.

“You have a cook?” You whisper leaning closer to him.

“Only for special occasions. I can’t exactly cook and entertain at the same time.” He kisses your cheek. “Too posh?” He questions with a smile.

You smile, “I don’t know. Let’s see how it tastes first. But I’ll bet you could probably cook rings around anyone else.”

You both laugh a little as everyone takes their seats around the table. It being Tom’s house he sits at the head of the table. You sit to his right, Ben on his left, and somehow Jane ends up seated next to you. As dinner is served the conversation starts again and you listen but you tend to focus on your food and eat quietly. It was absolutely wonderful food, the salad was fresh and tasty, there were fresh baked bread sticks, chicken marsala, and even lasagna.

Tom sees the way you’re sitting up straight trying to eat very delicately and politely truly making an effort to be on your best behavior and not embarrass him. He smiles and reaches over taking your hand kissing your fingers resting on the table between you. You can’t help but look at his hands and smile a little. He didn’t seem the least bit shy or worried about being open that you and he were in a relationship.

When desert was served, Tom excused himself for a second receiving a phone call that was very important that he had to answer and walked into the next room. As everyone continues to eat you can’t help but notice that attention is suddenly focused on you from on specific place.

“So, Shelia.” Jane begins as though she was just waiting for an opportunity to get you alone. “Where are you from originally?”

You take a sip of wine feeling a little nervous and shaky inside, “I’m from California originally.” You being not sure what to say but wishing to God you didn’t have to say anything.

“And what did you do there?” She asked.

“Umm.” Good God where was Tom? “I went to UCLA, and then I worked for a while in the Art District LA. It’s kind of like the Broadway of Southern California without all the . . . you know. Prestige and . . . talent.” You clean your throat feeling more uncomfortable by the second.

“So then you just one day decided to come to London?” Jane says taking a bite of her desert. The rest of the night when people talked to you, you felt a little nervous but it was comfortable talking to them. Right now, you felt like you were in an interrogation room with a giant blinding light shining in your face.

“Uh, No.” You say with a small smile. “I worked in Vegas for a while, and then moved to New York for a couple of years, and then finally I got to come here to London which is where I wanted to be from the beginning. People here take things much more seriously. It’s not all about the money more about the work. It’s different from the other places I’ve worked and I love it here.”

“I imagine the talent is more appealing as well.” Jane added. She wasn’t exactly being subtle and the others at the table were giving her a look eating their desert quietly. “You probably didn’t have the chance to work with such well known and famous people in the states. It’s easier to get much closer to stars who are known worldwide. ”she said starring straight at you now. “Easily recognizable on the street. It must look wonderful on your resume.”

There was a knot in your throat and it was a little hard to breathe. “I don’t know.” You say softly, “This is my first production working at the Donmar.”

“Well, who knows. Perhaps after this performance runs its course you might not even need to climb your way up the backstage theater ladder anymore.” Now she was getting down right mean. “What exactly did you study? How to get ahead in business without really trying?”

“Jane.” Benedict says wishing that Andy would reel in his date.

“I majored in theater arts.” You say taking a drink of your wine. “Did you go to school?” You ask her calmly.

“Why yes. I did.” She says proudly.

“And what did you study? Advanced bitchery? Would that be a required prerequisite to manipulative gold digging and status advancing or would you say that was an elective course?” Your say staring straight at her. It gets eerily quiet and your eyes widen realizing what just popped out of your mouth. You look around the table and jaws are decidedly earth bound, Jane’s starring at you with eyes burning, and Benedict is holding up his napkin as if wiping his mouth except he was concealing a grin and trying not to laugh. You clear your throat and finish your wine before putting your napkin on the table, “Umm excuse me.” You say softly before getting up from the table and leaving the dining room.

You didn’t want to go lock yourself in the bathroom again for God’s sake you did that way to many times already. Instead you go through the kitchen and hurry out the sliding door into Tom’s back yard closing it and going out into the dark part of the yard away from the light. Jesus Christ on a cracker, what was wrong with you? These were his friends, people he worked with, people he knew and probably grew up with. How could you just let your mouth take off like that? You could have taken what she was saying, she was just being a petty little whining child. She was sitting there with her date, and Tom was yours. What in the world prompted you to do that?

Tom returns from his phone call in the middle of Ben politely reading Andy the riot act. He's all smiles until he sees you are gone.

"What's happened? Where's Shelia?"

Emma walks back into the room, having gone to check on you. "She's outside."

Ben sips his wine. "Jane implied that she's seeing you too further her career."

Tom stands back up. "Jane, really. Jealousy is such bitter fruit." Andy looks down at his wine.

"Tom, I think we'll be going. Give me a ring in a day or two." Andy drains his glass. "Come on, Jane."

Tom nods to Andy then to Ben, Sophie and his sister. "I'll be back in in moment."

He grabs a blanket from the closet in the way out. He finds you sitting in a deck chair, shivering. "I'm sorry, my sweet. I had no idea Jane would be so crass." He situates himself behind you on the chair, wrapping his arms and the blanket and you.

"That's only part of it. I know she's not the only one who will think that. That I'm using you." He squeezes you and kisses the back of your head.

"Kitten, she's the only one in the room that thinks that."

"Why couldn't I just let it go? I knew she was jealous and probably didn't like me. I knew she was baiting me. Trying to get a rise. Well, it worked."

"Jane didn't get anything she didn't deserve."

"I'm sorry for embarrassing you."

"You didn't. Now can we please go inside, my sweet? It's fucking freezing.

"Is she still here?"

Laughter comes from the living room. Tom settles into the corner of the couch, drawing you against his body. You snuggle up for warmth and security.

"Thanks for starting a fire, Ben."

"No problem. I figured you would be cold." Benedict turns to his attention to you. "Are you alright?"

"I'll be fine."

"Thomas, you should have seen Jane's face. She couldn't believe Shelia had spoken to her like that." You blush. Tom kisses your temple.

"About that."

"No no, don't apologize. I'm glad someone finally said something. It was brilliant, Shelia."

"Please call me Shel."

"She hates Shelia." Tom wraps his arm around your torso. You're practically in his lap. You glance up at him. He smiles down at you. You return the smile, hoping it shows everything that you're feeling. He kisses your nose. Conversation continues around you. You start to become more comfortable and at ease. No one cares that you're cuddling on the couch. It felt good to open and affectionate.

It wasn’t intentional, but before long your eyes close as you lay against Tom feeling very warm and comfortable after having such an emotional day and a good amount of wine. Tom smiles holding you close letting you rest.

Ben smiles his arm around his date as well. “She was brilliant Tom, truly.” He says. “I don’t know if that sass is an American trait or if she’s just that witty.”

“What did she say?” Tom asks everyone keeping their voice low so as not to wake you.

Emma grins taking a sip of her drink, “Jane had been making an issue about where and what she’d studied at University. She turned it around on her and asked if Jane had attended college and taken advanced bitchiness as a requirement for status improvement and gold digging.”

Tom’s eyes open as he grins, “Did she really?” He laughs looking down at you with a smile wishing he could have seen it. “I’m sorry I missed it.” He reaches up and gently strokes your hair wrapping his arm around you again.

The conversation continues before it’s time for everyone to go. Tom gently moves you to lie down on the couch pulling the cover over you to keep you warm before walking everyone out. Saying their goodbyes Tom bids everyone farewell and locks up for the night. The kitchen staff already having cleaned the dining room and kitchen and left as well.

Coming back into the living room Tom smiles seeing you sound sleep on the couch not being able to help but smile. It was probably a bit mean of him springing a dinner party on you without warning considering the exhausting week you had and he realizes he probably should have told you or given you some warning.

Walking to the fire place he puts a few more logs in stoking it up good and high before returning to the couch sitting beside you and gently stroking your hair back from your face. Slowly your eyes open and you look up seeing his smiling face. “Hey there.” He says with a soft smile.

It takes you a moment to realize where you were and what was going on. You sit up with a start and look around, “Where is everyone?”

“They’ve gone. It’s nearing 1am.” He answers gently.

You cover your face with your hand, “Oh God, Tom I’m sorry.” You say embarrassed, “I can’t believe I fell asleep. Why didn’t you wake me, or thump me in the head or something?”

“You were exhausted and needed rest. I understood and so did everyone else.” He reassures you.

You sigh looking up at him again, “Could I have been anymore of a complete spazz? In front of your friends, your sister?”

He smiles and kisses your forehead. “It’s alright darling. I promise that next time you’ll have fair warning before any social gatherings.” He touches your face knowing you had been outside for sometime before he’d retrieved you. “I’m sorry that Jane was so rude to you. She can be quite the handful sometimes.” He didn’t want to worry you but he himself was a little concerned. She had a tendency to be a social media whore and only God knew if she was going to take his relationship with you and plaster it across the internet.

“Well, I wasn’t exactly a blushing rose either.” You admit. He grins once again wishing he had been there and seen it. Ben was certainly impressed and amused by it. You stretch your back a little pushing back the covers as Tom helps you to your feet. “I brought back the clothes I borrowed the other night. All washed and everything they’re in my car.” You say softly.

“And I have yours, all cleaned and pressed. The stage blood all came out they’re as good as new.” He reports with a smile knowing you were worried.

You nod, “Oh good. That’s one of my favorite outfits.” You say with a small laugh. “I’m going to go get stuff out of my car. I’ll be right back.” Tom smiles and nods before kissing you softly. Then one more time. Then once again wrapping his arms around you pulling your body against him as the kiss grows a bit deeper. He felt so incredibly wonderful and made your body tingle all over. After a moment the kiss parts and he grins looking down into your eyes.

“Don’t be long darling.” He whispers.

You smile and kiss one more time before he reluctantly releases you and you hurry out of the house going to your car getting your keys out of your pocket.

You grab the clothes out of the backseat. The snow crunches under your feet. Despite the obvious, it had been a fun night. You were glad you'd stayed. You really didn't want to be alone. The thought of going home and feeling how alone you were made your stomach clench. You don't both knocking, instead come right on inside. You take off your shoes by the door. But Tom isn't in the living room. Nor the kitchen. And the bathroom door is wide open with the light off.

You peek your head into the bedroom. "Tom?" He's changed from his slacks into lounge pants yet is still shirtless. "Oh sorry." You duck back out of the doorway. You routinely saw him naked or in stages of undress. Hell, he'd stripped you bare just the other night. So why did this instance make you nervous and anxious and clench things low in your body? Because you were in his house, in his bedroom. He was Tom, not Tom during a costume change.

"You can come in, Kitten."

He's sitting on the bed, rubbing lotion on his feet. "I hope you're not planning on sleeping in your clothes. While you do look cute in those jeans, denim is so stiff to cuddle with. It's bad enough we'll be on the couch. I'd like for us to get as much rest as we can."

You swallow, looking over the bed. It looked so comfortable and inviting. You really didn't want to sleep on the couch. Not with a double performance tomorrow and it already being 1 a.m.

"We-we can sleep in the bed?"

He lets his foot drop to the carpet. "Are you asking me or telling me?" He looks up at you, where you stand clutching the clothes to your chest.

"I'm telling you. Just. . . Just no sex stuff."

"As my lady wishes." You back out of the bedroom and change in the bathroom. You set your clothes on a chair. He's already turned down the bed and is waiting for you, reading a book.

"You look terribly cute in those. I don't think I can wear them again. They'll be yours when we stay over."

"That's awfully presumptuous."

"You've stayed over this makes three times." He did have a point.

You nervously twisted your hands before climbing into bed. The covers were cool and the bed seemed to swallow you. Even though you'd already slept a couple hours on the couch, you feel overwhelmingly tired.

Tom closes his book and reaches over turning off the light before scooting closer to you wrapping his arm around you as he looks down into your eyes. Even in the dark his eyes seemed to shine catching even the smallest bit of light. He was so incredibly handsome. Not just on the outside but on the inside. He was so supportive, and kind, and generous. Most of all he put up with your crap and even you realized that you were dishing it out A LOT recently.

“I’ve never once thought you agreed to go out with me in the hope to further your career love.” He says gently knowing that it was one of your worst fears since day one. “Jane just said those things to hurt you, to get under your skin. It wasn’t only incredibly bad form but really . . . really petty.”

“I know.” You say softly. “But it’s not just me. It doesn’t exactly cast you in a favorable light either, and I don’t want to ruin your reputation.”

“My reputation?” He half laughs gazing at your lovely face, “I can boast having a beautiful, intelligent, clever girl on my arm that isn’t shallow, isn’t ambitious, and isn’t using me to her own ends. Others I know should be so lucky.” Leaning down he places a tender kiss to your lips as you wrap your arms around him. Once again, the smallest bit of affection sent little tingles all over your body. His strong arms around you, his wonderful lips pressed against yours. This truly was heaven. Kissing you again you both maneuver around into a more comfortable spot as you lay on your side and his body melds against yours spooning you tight as he wraps his arm around you lacing his fingers with yours. He kisses your ear and then your cheek before resting his face to yours settling in further.

You can feel that he is somewhat stiff against your backside but he was being a gentlemen and understood you simply weren’t ready to engage in such intimacy quite yet. And he wanted everything to be perfect anyway. He needed time to prepare things so he could woo you and seduce you properly. You move your hips slightly rubbing against him causing him to groan in pleasure.

“Not fair Kitten.” He says with a grin slipping his thigh between yours wrapping a leg around your leg. “You keep doing that and I’m not certain we’ll get a wink of sleep tonight.”

You smile knowing you were being a tease. “You’ve taken me out to eat so many times, and cooked for me.” You say softly. “When am I going to get to cook for you?”

“Whenever you like darling. I’d love to try some of your cooking.” He says snuggling against you holding you tighter to him taking in your scent. He loved how sweet you smelled wither it was your shampoo, your soap, or your natural aroma, it was all absolutely delicious.

“Well. Don’t raise your explications too high.” You warn. “Macaroni and cheese might be a real possibility.” You were kidding of course there were plenty of other things you knew how to cook. “Unless we wait until we have a day off.”

“Deal. Next break we have, dinner at your place.” He says kissing your cheek again. You smile turning your face towards his finding his lips as you kiss each other tenderly. Then a second time before you look up at him. “Get some rest love. You’re exhausted and it’s a two performance day.” You nod and quickly steal one more kiss before you both snuggle down into the pillows and covers soon drifting off to sleep in each other’s arms.

The next day you’re standing in your work space, the shower wand in hand, Tom’s next costume at the ready your head down listening, waiting, your eyes glued to the monitor. Every once in a while you would hear chatter on the radio but didn’t understand it. It wasn’t related to the production in the least bit. Every time it would start the stage manager would come over the line and hush them demanding they stay quiet and keep the line clear. It was weird, this hadn’t happened before during a performance and everyone knew better.

“10 seconds.” FINALLY something related to the production.

“Ready.” You go to the door and quickly open it as Tom rushes in peeling off bloody clothing as he stands in the shower space. You turn on the shower wand with a wash rag soaped up and ready quickly passing over him several times as you both rubbed and washed his body getting the blood off him. The shower goes off and you hand him a towel so he can dry himself while you immediately pick up the first pieces of his costume. Drying his hair you start dressing him as he steps into his trousers and you pull them up before picking up his shirt. He tosses the towel aside and slips his arms into the shirt pulling it over his head tucking it in and fastening his pants. Sitting down you pull on his socks and then shoes and he bends down lacing them up while you retrieve his gloves holding them so he can easily slip his hands into them.

“How we doing love?” He questions.

“32 seconds.” You say. “Going faster than usual.”

He grins fastening the gloves as you pick up two brushes and start combing them through his hair quickly and expertly. “Probably because we’re so good together.” He says with a wink. Putting the brushes aside you put a few drops of product in your palm and comb it through his hair.

Tom stands looking at you as you quickly walk around him smoothing your hands over his costume making sure everything is in place. Coming to the front and facing him you run your hands over his chest finding everything was in order. Tom just watches your face a small smile on his lips. Suddenly he catches your hands and holds them up to his lips kissing your fingers. “We have a three day break after tomorrow.” He says looking into your eyes. “Are we still on for dinner at your place?”

He had never done this before, talked about personal things in the middle of a performance and it was rattling you a little bit. He never broke character, not even while he was off stage behind the scenes. “Yes.” You say softly looking into his beautiful eyes. “Unless I get fired because you’re late getting to your mark.” You say taking your hands from him slipping the sling over his head as he adjusts his arm in it. You hurry to the door ahead of him and open it. However on the way by he leans close and gives you a kiss on your cheek before hurrying out the door. You roll your eyes slightly shaking your head closing the door hurrying to gather his soiled costume and set up the next costume change.

After the evening performance and you finished your chores and now Tom’s costumes were in the dryer. They would be done soon and then you could hang them up and go home for the night. You went to your locker and got out your things. You pull on your coat that had been drenched in blood and Tom had cleaned for you, straightening it out as it was a bit chilly in the warehouse tonight. Slipping your hands into your pockets you pause feeling something between your fingers.

Taking it out you find a small envelope with your name written on it in elegant swirls. It was beautiful stationary and you would recognize Tom’s writing anywhere. Picking up your bag you walk back into the laundry room to wait for the dryer to finish it’s cycle.

Your attention turns to the letter and you curiously turn it over as a smile sweeps your face. It had a wax seal with an “H” as the crest. It was very old fashioned and incredibly romantic. Much more romantic then an e-mail or text message. You carefully break the seal and take out the letter opening it as you begin to read.

 

“My Lovely Kitten,

Every since the first moment I saw you I knew there was something special about you. Your beautiful eyes shimmering in the sunlight, your hair illuminated by the reflection off of the window, you looked like an angel. Your smile lit up the room and your laughter the sound of a thousand angels singing in the heavens.

Each time you kiss me it fills me with such joy, such energy, and makes me feel like the luckiest man to have ever have walked the earth. I lie awake at night dreaming of your soft, flawless, alabaster skin. Your exquisite body unclothed lying on my bed. Your lovely hair cascading down the pillows, the way your large plump breasts rise and swell with each gentle breath you take.

The taste of you on my fingers permeates and lingers in my thoughts. Holding you against me my hand down the front of your silk panties as I found your hidden, secret, most guarded womanhood. My fingertips parting your lips finding your soft warm flesh. I could feel the heat against my hand causing me to press my aroused body against your backside. The warmth of your juices coating them as your body quivered in my grasp. Then the wondrous feeling of you surrendering to me as I gave you pleasure, holding you tight so you wouldn’t collapse to the floor when your knees began to buckle. Oh how I would have loved to see your eyes, see them shimmer when you climaxed under my touch.

I cannot wait to hold your body close, to feel your naked skin against mine. Your breasts pressing against my chest feeling the beat of your heart, feeling the warmth of your breath on my face. Sweeping you into my arms and take you into my bed. I want so desperately to taste you. All of you. To caress every inch of your firm womanly figure leaving no part of you overlooked. Nothing would please me more then to be inside of you, feeling the heat of your body as your sex devours me as we join as one. There is so much more, alas there is not enough ink and paper in the world to describe all we’ll experience and share together.

A goddess of such beauty should be worshiped, and I am eager to offer up my prayers in gratitude to be blessed to hold you in my arms. I look forward to making love to you, my special and dearest kitten. To feel your tremble and quiver as I pleasure you in every way I know how until you're weak and ready for sleep.

Until then know you are always in my thoughts, and never far from my heart.

Forever Yours, T. XX”

 

You stand there stunned your eyes starring wide at the letter unable to have a rational thought. Your cheeks were red, and your body was flushed with heat. You practically fall against the wall as your mind was completely and totally awash with thoughts of you and Tom in the throes of passion. As far as love letters went, this one . . . definitely beats them all.

You didn’t even hear the buzzer on the machine go off as you just stand against the wall completely speechless eyes wide. You didn’t know what to say, how to feel, or how to react.

"Shelia, can I have a word with you?" The stage manager has walked up behind you.

"Oh fuck!" Her sudden presence scares the hell out of you. To quickly shove the note in your pocket.

She smiles. "I'm sorry. I saw you still here and wanted to catch you. Can we have a word?"

"Uh sure. You're not firing me are you?"

"No. I did think about it. But you're doing a marvelous job and Tom, Stephen and Mark have spoken highly of you and have gone to bat for you. And despite your relationship with Tom, you've been nothing but professional while you're here at the Warehouse."

"I feel a but."

"Precisely. But after Coriolanus, you'll be on a probation. I do not like or approve of production affairs. I hope this won't be a pattern."

"I assure you that it's not. This thing with Tom was wholly unexpected."

"Despite what you may think, Shelia, I do like you. And you're doing a fantastic job. I'm glad we took you on. Just don't make a habit of sleeping with the leading men or I will let you go."

"I'm not. I won't."

"Social media is saying differently. Your relationship with Tom is all over twitter and tumblr. That was the chatter earlier."

"I'm sorry, ma'am."

The stage manager holds up her hand. "The heart wants what the heart wants. Enjoy your break."

You hang up the costumes wondering what she was talking about. You turn your phone on as your walking out. Notifications begin popping up from all your social media accounts, tags, messages, follows. There's texts from Stephen, Ellen and Tom. Missed calls and voice mails from Tom, Stephen, Ellen and your mom. You sleep your phone and drop it in your pocket. You make the chilly walk home alone in the dark and snow.

You wanted to spend the night over at Tom's but maybe it'd be better to stay home alone tonight. With ice cream and Netflix.

It had been a while since you cooked for yourself much less for company. You hadn’t realized how lazy you’d gotten until you were walking through the all night store filling your grocery basket and adding things to your list that you’d left off.

Standing at the checkout you go over your list again matching everything in your basket and give a sigh, “Finally.” Now you had everything you needed and probably more. Leaning on your hand on the check out as the checker empties your basket your mind drifts a little bit. Both you and Tom had been so careful at work. There was maybe one or two instances where someone might have seen you kiss, but it was like a peck of a kiss. Not a tonsillectomy exam. You smiled a little, those deep intense passionate kisses were the best.

“97 pounds .50.” You arch your brows starring at him the total bringing you back to yourself.

“Seriously?” You say in disbelief. He gives a nod and you sigh handing him your cash card. He rings you out and you collect your bags and head home.

Once you get back to your flat, you put everything away and strip down getting in the shower. It was such a rollercoaster ride of emotions. Finding that letter from Tom . . . that wonderfully, graphic and delicious letter. Then almost in the same heartbeat turning around and being told you were on probation. It was like being slapped in the face when you were certain you hadn’t done anything wrong. At least nothing you knew of.

Getting into your pajamas, you head into the kitchen starting to mix up the recipe for Tiramisu. It was a complete pain in the ass to make, but it was one of your favorite desserts and you made it well and it needed to be started the night before and left in the fridge to set. Once it’s all done and in the fridge you wash the dishes and clean up the kitchen. The rest of the menu for tomorrow night was pretty simple. Roast beef with carrots, potatoes, onions, mushrooms, and zucchini. Kind of an Irish-like dish as you stuck everything in the same pain and cooked it for 5-6 hours, but it was one of your favorites and every time you made it everyone seemed to love it.

Turning off the light in the kitchen you go into the laundry room and put in a load of clothes turning on the machine. It was about 2am now which is why it startled you when a frantic knock came to the front door followed by the door bell ringing.

You walk towards the door but stop and walk back into the kitchen grabbing the large clever holding it down by your side walking back to the door. You look through the peek hole and sigh pulling the bolt and unlocking the door opening it. “Tom. God, you could have called.” You say having already been feeling a little on edge.

“I tried. You weren’t answering your phone and then it started to go straight to voice mail.” He explains coming into the door and closing it behind. “I was worried, are you alright?” He says a concerned look in his eyes.

Wow, word certainly seemed to travel fast. “Yeah. She just basically repeated what she said before and that after this production I’m on probation. If I get caught seeing or dating anymore cast members then I’m history.” Tom just looks at you a little shocked, but it wasn’t that you had just been called out on the floor by your boss. There was something more. “What?”

“You don’t know.” He says not certain how you couldn’t.

“Know what?” Now he was starting to make you nervous. “Tom, what’s going on?”

“Do you have a computer?” He questions.

“A laptop.” You confirm.

He takes your hand, “Come on, show me.”

A little while later you and Tom sit on your bed your laptop between you as Tom pulls up several websites and news articles. You just sit starring at the screen in a stunned silence, your hand over your mouth. Tom looks pained seeing the expression on your face and the glazed over look in your eye. He didn’t want this to happen, and he didn’t want to be the one to tell you although there was no one who should.

Finally you find words and speak softly, “That’s my production picture. The one they use for my profile and my ID at the Donmar. How did they get that? Stage Hands and lesser crew’s profiles aren’t on the website.” You say shaking your head in disbelief. You point to the line that seemed to pop up a lot, “And it’s says this story comes from an ‘anonymous source’. What anonymous source?”

Tom’s jaw clinched a little having no doubt in his mind who was behind it considering her twitter account deactivated just a few hours before this ‘story’ broke. “I believe she studied advanced bitchery and social advancement.” He said in a low voice quite upset she would do something like this. You close your eyes covering your face with your hands. Tom felt like that was more than enough for one night and shut the laptop computer putting it aside. He wrapped his arms around you and you rest your head to his chest. Tom holds you tight his hand rubbing your back. “Oh darling, I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry about all of this.”

Reaching up you slid your fingers through your hair looking up at him a moment before turning your eyes away wiping the tears from them. “You won’t want to see me anymore now.” You whisper your heart breaking. “Not after this.”

Tom looks into your eyes and shakes his head, “Of course I don’t want to stop seeing you sweetheart, look at it.” He says touching your chin making sure you couldn’t turn your eyes away. “This? Is nonsense. Nonsense that isn’t going to last. If we don’t make a big deal about it, if we don’t take any of it to heart, and we go on as we would otherwise, they’ll lose interest once they see that there is nothing torrid going on.”

 

(Continued -->)


	5. Limelight - Chapter 5

The next day you stand in the kitchen getting supper ready. Everything was almost done, and you were setting the table. The kind of smallish table but you lived alone. You didn’t really need anymore. Tom was in the next room on your computer going through some things and making phone calls. You didn’t want to go out today, you didn’t want to think about the world outside. The things they thought about you, the things they had said. You especially didn’t want to think about how this was going to impact your career. You had only just started here. The place you wanted to be from the time you were in high school. Now that you were finally here, it might have been a very short trip.

You light the candle on the table and put the dishes with the vegetables in bowls. You cut up the roast that was cooked perfectly you put it on a small serving tray and covered it before moving it to the table as well. “Tom! Dinner’s ready!” You call putting napkins down beside his plate and then beside your own.

Tom heard your voice and finished his phone call before setting your laptop to sleep and closing it coming into the kitchen. “Mmmm, smells wonderful!” He says with a grin. “I’m starving.” Walking over he wraps his arms around you and kisses your cheek.

You smile a little leaning your head back against his shoulder loving the way he hugged you, the way he held you. You turn in his arm and smile up at him then the two of you pull closer and kiss tenderly. After a moment you meet each other’s gaze getting lost in one another’s eyes, the glow that was there of desire and lust, but of care as well.

Tom place one more soft kiss to your lips, “I’ll open the wine.” He says gently his breath deep in his chest. You give a nod and he smiles a bit brighter kissing you yet again before reluctantly releasing you and going to the fridge. You get down wine glasses and set them on the table as he comes over removing the cork from the bottle and filling each glass. He’d gone out a bit earlier in the day wanting to provide wine for dinner and it gave you an hour or two of privacy so you could ball your eyes out while screaming at the top of your lungs. Just letting it all out and finally not doing it in front of him. You felt better by the time he got back and could be more human.

Sitting down together you both ate having conversation back and forth somehow managing to avoid everything that was going on outside of your small flat. It seemed like the best thing to do today. Tom seemed to think everything you made was absolutely delectable. Although once or twice you had to laugh feeling like he was over doing the praises a little bit. It wasn’t like you were Gordon Ramsey or anything.

After supper you both move to the couch in the living room. You bring coffee and a piece of Tiramisu for each of you. Neither of you seemed interested in turning on the TV and seemed to prefer just each others company. Once again, he was full of praise for your cooking skills and you just wrinkled your nose playfully at him letting him know you weren’t buying it. He could cook far better then you could by leaps and bounds and you knew it.

The two of you curled up on the couch in each others arms just resting together, glad that you could be so close and touching without anyone staring at you, or judging you, or talking about you like you were the arch villain in some nefarious plot to rule the world by way of coffee and dancing.

“I had hoped to take you somewhere tomorrow.” Tom said finally breaking the silence rubbing your shoulder as he held you close. “I’ve been planning it for a little while, but I’m not certain if you’d be comfortable going out right now.” He says with a sound of disappointment in his voice.

You look up at him, “Where were you taking me?” You ask curiously.

He smiles and kisses your nose, “Nope. Haven’t given up on the intention of still taking you there and I want it to be a surprise.” He says stroking your hair. The way he looked into your eyes made a quiver go down your spine. As though you were the most beautiful girl in the world. No one ever looked at you that way.

The next morning after breakfast, Tom blindfolded you when you got in his Jaguar wanting this to be a surprise. It felt incredibly silly but you played along. “I’m not being taken to a firing squad am I? Don’t I get like a last request or a cigarette or something?” You ask playfully.

“Ehehehehehe.” Tom takes your hand and kisses your knuckles lacing his fingers resting them on your tight. “I told you darling, you’re safe with me.” He promised. “Always.” The radio was playing the most recent Lady Gaga song on the local station when at last the car came to a stop and Tom parked. You started to reach up for the blind fold but he caught your hand, “No no, not yet. Wait.” He says kissing your hand again before getting out of the car and walking around to your side. He opened the door and unbuckled your seatbelt taking your hands helping you out of the car closing the door and locking the car. “Come on.” He says holding your hand.

“Well. This just turned into a trust exercise from college theater.” An exercise that you never excelled at by the way. It was always like holding a cat over a tub of water. You played a long once and your partner was a complete ass you walked you over some stairs. It wasn’t a full stair case but it was 5 stone stairs and you ate it hard. That was the end of your playing along with that game.

Tom smiles and kisses you softly, then once more his arms wrapped tight around you. “Don’t worry love. It’ll be worth it. I promise you.” He kisses you again a bit more deeply than before. His kisses were absolutely divine, and you eagerly kissed him back. There was something so incredibly erotic about kissing him with a blind fold on. All you had was your senses. He was taller then you and your arms around his neck brought you to your toes. Your bodies press together anxiously as your hands roam over each other slightly. Tom grins knowing if this went on another moment tumblr really would have something to explode about. “Come on darling.” He says taking one of your hands and wrapping his other arm around your waist so you would feel secure walking you forward. Your free hand clutches to his arm still feeling very uncomfortable like the ground was going to disappear from under your feet.

You can feel that you are walking through a hallway and maybe even pass through a door finally coming to a stop. Tom releases you but you’re reluctant to let go of him. He smiles and kisses your cheek as his hands go to the back of the blindfold and unties it taking it from your eyes. It takes a moment as the bright light blinds you for your sight to adjust. When your eyes clear you look at your surroundings. It only takes a moment before you realize where you were standing. “Oh my God . . . .” You breathe as you slowly turn completely taken back by your surroundings. Tom can see the excitement slowly over taking you as a smile sweeps your face. “Oh my god!” You repeat in disbelief.

Every since you were a little girl and had developed an obsession with Shakespeare, you always wanted to see his theater that was built near the Themes. The Globe theatre. Shakespeare’s, Globe Theatre. The one that stood today was of course not the original since the original had burned down. But it was a replica of the original built in 1614. Tom, of course, had been there many times in the course of his lifetime and his focus was solely on you. He couldn’t help but enjoy the sparkle, the eagerness, and the child like wonder shining in your eyes. All of the nonsense that was going on at work, backstage at the Donmar, the social media, none of it existed right now. There was nothing outside of this moment. A moment he got to share with you.

“Oh my God!” Was all you can exclaim covering your mouth with both of your hands as you find yourself standing in the center of the floor looking up towards the different levels of boxes and seating, turning around slowly taking it all end. “Hundreds of years, Tom. Hundreds of performances of HIS plays, hundreds of thousands of people crowding in to see them, just to walk through this theatre.” You say in complete awe and reverence. Tom smiles just watching you walking closer. You turn and reverently walk towards the stage reaching out slowly and putting your hands up on the stage. “And all the actors, so many actors that have trotted these boards night after night. Wow!” You breathe in utter awe.

“Are you glad you decided to come out with me today?” Tom questions. You turn looking at him your eyes bright and before you realize it or stop yourself you hop into his arms wrapping your legs around his waist kissing him hungrily your hands cupping his face before sliding into his hair devouring his lips hungrily. Tom’s arms around you holding onto your backside the kiss parts as you look into each other’s eyes unable to help from laughing. “I’ll take that as a yes?” Tom chuckles a light in his eyes looking up at you.

“Thank you.” You breathe, “Thank you so much” you kiss him again, “Thank you.” You wrap your arms around each other embracing tightly. He kisses you again before setting you back down to your feet. “Can we look around? Can we see stuff? I mean, can we check things out?”

“Absolutely. Whatever you’d like.” He says with a bright smile adoring your anxious energy.

“Well come on!” You say holding his hand tight in yours hurrying to go and find out what and where you could explore, wanting to see anything, everything there was to see.

Tom slowly opens his eyes, his hands kneading your thighs. He looks deep into yours. "Today has been truly wonderful." He takes the back of your neck and pulls you into another kiss. You savor the taste of him, nibbling his bottom lip.

"Because of you. That was an amazing surprise." The two of you had spent all day at the Globe. You still had an adrenaline high from being there. That he'd do this for you had you on cloud 9. So much so that you couldn't stop kissing him, touching him. You'd burnt dinner and had to order pizza.

So here you sat astride his lap, combing your fingers through his hair as you drank in his kisses. His hands roam your back and ass. You feel his hard member pressed between the two of you. He groans with each press and shift of your weight. But he let you move at your pace.

You surprise the both of you when you pull your shirt off. His lips press to your throat. The tip of his nose presses into the hollow of your throat. He curls his arms over your shoulders and pulls you down.

"You're so stunning."

"Shut up and kiss me."

"As my lady wishes." He holds the back of your neck and kisses you, deep and thorough. "What else does my lady wish?"

Your stomach twists, nerves race your heart and speed your breath. "I want you. . ."

He sucks in his breath. He rests his forehead between your breasts. "Are you sure?"

"I do. . ." 

"But?" He leans back and looks up at you.

"I'm scared. I haven't-" You slid off his lap. And he stands. "I don't want to run."

"I'm here, Kitten."

You swallow, your hands shake as you reach up and unhook your bra. You shrug your shoulders and work the straps down. The bra falls to the floor. His fingertips glide up the back of your arms. You can't bring yourself to meet his eyes. Instead, you unbutton his shirt. Your palms skim up his chest and under his shirt, pushing it off his shoulders. He kisses the top of your head.

"Tom. I told you I haven't been with anyone since Tyler." You rest your forehead on his chest. "The last time he hurt me...it was bad. Really bad. And I'm scared." He rubs the backs of your arms. "I'm scared that I'm broken and that-" Your chest squeezes and your feel the urge to run. He shushes you. "-That I'm broken and I can't enjoy normal sex. That I'm ruined."

He pulls you back and looks at you. "Shelia. Kitten. Baby. I'm here for you. I will do or not do whatever you want."

Despite your shaking, you grab the waistband of his pants and pull him to the bedroom.

You turn to face him as you walk backwards and he reaches up cupping your face in his hands as your lips meet again anxiously. His large strong hands grasp your shoulders gently as your fingers expertly unfasten his trousers as you pause next to the bed. The kiss parts as you look up into his eyes as your hand slowly slides down into his boxers caressing his stiff member. The one part of his anatomy that you had tried from day one to avoid staring at, touching, or even brushing on accident. God knows you wanted to feel it in your hand, and caress it with your fingertips. At last, this was your chance. Tom’s eyes roll back slightly and close shuddering at your gentle caresses.

You stroke him slowly at first, feeling the length of his shaft down to his sack rolling him over and over again in your hand before returning to his member that was starting to throb in anticipation and anxiousness. Barely able to draw a breath his hands remain on your body, his eyes closed as he rests his forehead to yours enjoying your attentions on his body. After a few more moments his fingertips draw down your arms moving to your body as he finds the front of your jeans and unbuttons them slowly sliding the zipper down anxious to lavish you with such anxious attentions.

Tom kisses you gently, then a bit more passionately before pulling your pants down over your hips to your thighs, returning to your lips a moment with another eager kiss before lying you back down on the bed. With one shift expert move he slips the rest of your clothing from your legs and tosses them to the floor before removing his own as you move up further on the bed to the pillows.

Eagerly he crawls up on the bed over you looking down into your eyes as he carefully settles over you leaning on his elbow as his beautiful blue eyes look down into yours shining up at him with pure adoration and a good amount of lust. He loved the way you looked at him, like he was the only one in the world to you. Your hands rest on his arms a moment as you adjust yourself underneath him a bit better so you’re both a little more comfortable. “You’re certain?” He whispers gently smoothing his fingers through your hair moving it from his view as it cascaded down the pillowcase just as he’d envisioned in his dream.

You reach up caressing his handsome face loving the feel of his scruff against your hand, that end of the day 5 o’clock shadow that Coriolanus usually wore on stage that you never could quite help but find very alluring and attractive. “If I had kept my mouth shut, if I would have acted like an adult instead of a whining child, if I had left all that stuff in the past like I should have done . . . . would you be as hesitating as you are now?” You whisper hating the fact that you’d made him nervous.

“I don’t want to hurt you darling.” He answers tenderly, “Even before I knew of your past, and you told me how you were treated . . . . from the moment I saw you all I’ve wanted is to know you. Love every part of you. To make you shiver in ecstasy again and again. If you were to cry out, I desperately want it to be in pleasure that I’ve given you.” You can feel his body tense over you as it seemed he was holding himself back with every ounce of strength and will power he could muster.

Always, in all things, Tom was so gentle. In the way he treated people, in the way he approached things, in his work, in his relationships, even when he was ‘upset’ with something or someone . . . . he had a very gentle soul and a gentle heart. Maybe that’s what you loved about him most. “Then forget everything else.” You whisper softly, “And I will too. There’s no one here tonight except me, and you.” You promise. You knew that you were going to struggle with this mentally but you had to give him a break. He had been working so hard, been so generous and patient. You couldn’t turn into a ravening waterfall of tears and fear. He didn’t need that and he didn’t deserve it. “I’m in your arms.” You whisper. “And your arms alone.”

“We’ll go slow.” He says gently. “Tell me what you want.”

You gaze into his beautiful eyes feeling the way his hand smoothed over your shoulder and down your body caressing your warm curves. “I want you.” You breathe.

A smile sweeps his face as he looks into your eyes before leaning down and kissing you softly savoring the taste of your luscious lips. Your hand slid through his hair and then down his neck coming to rest on his strong muscular back. He was so incredibly handsome, so indescribably sexy, and you had fantasized about being with him almost every day for the past few months. None of those day dreams were a fraction of what just lying here in his bed, in his strong arms, unclothed felt like.

It doesn’t take long for the kisses to become deeper as the passion grows between you, your leg wrapping around his as your bodies meld together rocking slightly as you roll over onto his back. His hands wrap around your waist firmly before caressing up your back wanting to touch every inch of your beautiful body. Your thighs straddles his hips as you can feel him against you, growing just as anxious by the moment. You shift your hips against his sensitive member causing him to shutter and groan in approval into your mouth kissing you deeper still your tongues touching and tasting anxiously devouring one another between your lips hardly able to feast enough on the exquisite delicious pleasure it caused deep within your anxious bodies.

He moves his hand down between your thighs and gently begins to stroke your soft secret hidden sex that had grown hot and wet with eager anticipation well beyond ready to receive him. He would get there but the two of you had so much to explore of each other, so much to savor. Your body quivers around him, hardly able to contain the growing need to have him inside of you.

Tom’s hand gently slides into your hair and comes to rest at the back of your neck, his other hand moves down your back bracing you firmly against him as he turns your bodies with one swift move over onto your back so that he’s laying over you. You devour each kiss once more as his hands continue to caress your body as the kiss breaks, and he begins to trail kisses over your face, and down your throat to your neck. His arm still wrapped tight around you, his free hand moves down over your body firmly stroking and caressing you as he explores your soft curves. His kisses continue down your chest pausing at each breast. His tongue flicking slightly at one nipple before slowly tracing it in a slow deliberate circle suckling gently. Then he moves to give the same attention to the other causing your back to arch and another moan to escape from deep within you.

After a few moments his kisses and affectionate caresses move down further over your belly resting his face there a moment squeezing his arm tight around you as he hugs your body to his. As if taking a moment to recenter and calm his own growing enthusiasm and desire so that he could continue. Your fingers slide through his hair again and again as your hands stroke his head as your nearly gasping for air, your body completely aflame with desire and lust. Every touch, every kiss, everything was pure heaven. You’d never experienced anything like this before loving the way he was holding you in his arms.

When he began to lavish affections on you once more, over your belly his hands moving down your sides holding you firmly, you could feel his tongue and lips caressing your abdomen and traveling lower still. Your eyes open and you suddenly find yourself flashing back to what resulted in a hospital trip. Tom would never do that to you, not in a million years. No decent guy would do that to you, but Tyler . . . . Tyler wasn’t even human. 

Rather than throw a wrench in the works or ruin the flow you quickly sit up sliding your fingers into his hair pulling him up into a anxious kiss, hungrily consuming his lips and tasting his tongue. He didn’t know every detail of everything that had happened, and you certainly weren’t about to tell him of it. Tom seemed caught off balance for a moment having been intending you orally please you first, but that soon passed as he became lost in your taste. As you lay back, he crawls up over you once more anxiously returning your every kiss.

Wrapping your legs around him tight you arch your back pressing the length of your soft body against his firm one as a shudder travels down his spine. His hand finds his way down between your thighs as he expertly caresses your sensitive clit once again causing your entire body to quiver. You can feel his member hard as steel throbbing against your inner thigh until neither of you could stand to wait any longer. He brushes the tip against your hot wet womanhood pressing a bit as he rubs against you overwhelmed by the sensation.

Your hands cling to his back as your thighs open a bit more giving him all the access possible. His arms move from beneath you as he cradles your head in his hands looking down into your eyes as you meet his gaze. He wants to see everything, every moment, every little reaction as he slowly begins to push his large solid member into your tight body. You gasp at the sensation as your back arches high starring deep into his eyes. His hips continue to move until he fills you completely coming to rest deep inside your depths.

It was such a profound, personal, intimate moment, one that defied words. Leaning down he kisses your lips deeply his entire body quivering at the sensation of your warmth engulfing him completely. You were so beautiful, and not just to look at. He loved everything about you. Your quirks, your weird sense of humor, the silly way you danced when you thought no one was watching, the way things would just pop out of your mouth without warning immediately embarrassing you, your ability to take care of yourself with a sharp wit like you did when Jane was attacking you for no reason. Your hard work and dedication, your compassion, your selflessness, all of it made you so beautiful, so special to him.

The eager passion you share for each other causes your bodies to begin to move in anxious desire and lust. Each thrust, each stroke sending another wave of pure pleasure down your entire being. It made your thighs tense, and it made your toes curl his holding you in his arms as he took you. The kisses continue until you both needed air and he rests his face against yours moving deep inside your warmth with a bit more purpose.

The small sounds of pleasure spurring him onward desperately wanting to hear more. He kisses your neck and then your shoulder moving a bit deeper still inside of you. You can hardly breathe, hardly form a thought as your hands cling to his back, your nails digging into his skin slightly as you hold on for dear life. Your back arching and bowing meeting his every thrust inside of you wanting more of the same, all he had to give you. You never experienced such elation. Even though you had had some experience with sex before Tyler and enjoyed it, it was never like this. It never felt so good.

“God Tom,” You breathe your eyes closed tight your body continuing to movie in anxious tandem with his.

“Let go, Kitten.” He whispers encouragingly in your ear. Even though you were completely amerced in his affection, he could still feel you holding back. He could feel your apprehension, once again waiting for the other shoe to drop. “Your safe with me, I’ve got you.” He said holding you tighter in his arms. “It’s alright darling, you can let go.” He’s hardly able to breathe moving a bit deeper and harder inside of you.

This was everything you missed about sex, everything you wanted it to be, everything you were afraid you couldn't enjoy. He took such care to make sure he didn't hurt you. You could feel him holding back just as you were. His entire glorious body sings with tension. His strong arms shake with effort as he held himself over you. He searches your face, looking for the first sign that things were too much for you.

Your body undulates beneath his, writhing like a wanton thing. He loved it. Watching you arch and buck, but you still held onto to fear.

"You are so amazing." He didn't look away from your face. "I'll never forget your face. Your head thrown back." Hard thrust that makes you gasp. "Your mouth open just enough to let those screams out. Your tongue-" He groans as it flicks out to whet your lips, he loses rhythm. "Yes, your tongue teasing your lips." He dips his head to touch his tongue to yours before claiming your mouth. You whimper as he fucks you in both your hungry mouths. He sucks your tongue as he pulls away.

Goddamn, he was more than you ever fantasized. Pure fucking desire and need and he wanted you. He struggles to speak, his entire body shaking with effort. He wanted you to go first. "The way-" He swallows. Your body tightens around his, causing him to cry out. "The way the sweat glistens on your milky flesh." He grits his teeth. "You're shaking, darling."

"Yes!"

"Let go, baby." He can't take much more. You felt so good, so tight. So amazing. And he felt like nothing you'd ever had. Was this? Was this love? Did you love him? You'd only been dating a month but love had no sense of time. You did. You loved him. Your eyes snap open and meet his.

"I-I love you, Thomas."

He kisses you, his thrusts becoming awkward and uncontrolled. "Cum for me, Kitten." He didn't exactly say it back. Your insecurity crept in. Desire began to wane. "Shelia. Cum. For. Me." Each word punctuated with a thrust that took your breath away. He might not love you but he cared. That was a start, right? Oh god, brain please don't ruin this now. This was the best day of your life. You love him. That's all that matters. "Please, baby. I can't-" He swallows visibly, his head thrown back. The way the moonlight hits him. He's like a god, and he's yours. You let go.

Once you give your body permission, the flood gates open. Literally. Your orgasm hits and sweeps you away. Shaking and screaming his name. "Thomas!"

He can't hold back any longer. He buries his face in your neck and rides out his passion. He kisses your cheek before falling to the side, spent and out of breath.

"You-" He licks his lips, his chest heaving. He pulls you half onto his chest. "You are wondrous. There's no words." He still hasn't responded to your declaration. He combs his fingers through your hair. "You, my darling, my sweet sweet girl, you have completely ruined my plans."

You look up at him, resting your chin on his chest. Your brain is desperately trying to eat at you but you just had the most glorious sex in a long time, hell of your life. "How's that?"

He licks his lips, swallowing and adjusting you better. He leans up so he can tuck his chin and look at you. "I had intended to take you on a weekend holiday after the run was done and tell you I loved you." You jerk, stunned but pleasantly. "But I can't not tell you now. You'll start to become insecure and doubt yourself."

"You-You love me?" You start to sit up and pull away but he cuddles you closer, drawing your body half onto his by lifting his knee between your legs and pulling you over.

"Ah ah ah, don't run, love. Please." He begs you with his eyes. Don't let this moment be spoiled. And you're trying so hard. "Yes, Kitten. I love you." His head drops back onto the pillow. "So please don't run from me."

He can't see the smile on your face. He can't know what those words just freed you from. He can't ever know. Not even if you tell him everything, he'll never know.

You lean up and kiss him, taking him by surprise. He kisses back, his hands worshiping your naked, glistening form. You feel him start to grow hard again as you rub your thigh along his sensitive member. You press your quivering sex to his hip. His groan of unexpected pleasure tickles the base of your spine.

You break the kiss. "Show me." He looks confused. "Show me how much you love."

He grins, wrapping his arms around you and rolling you onto your back. "As my lady wishes."

The alarm clock reads almost 5 a.m. Tom's snoring softly beside you. His body curled around yours. Your body was deliciously sore. One night together couldn't wipe away all the rot in your head and your heart but it was a start. You snuggle back against him. His arm tightens around you, as if thought you were going to run. Your voice would be hoarse when you woke up. He'd made you scream his name so much and so loudly that his neighbors likely heard.

You close your eyes, willing tie brain to shut off. He loved you. You loved him. The play had until the end of February and then you'd go from there. Didn't he have a movie he was going to be filming soon? Your heart clenches. Stop it. These were all things to worry about another day. For now, just enjoy his love and the afterglow of a night of stupendous sex. You listened to his steady breath and steady heart. Sleep snuck up on you, weaseling is tendrils into you before you even realized it.

After breakfast, Tom took you back to your flat. You needed fresh clothes and to be honest a few hours of sleep. You and he had a dinner date that you were invited too by Mark and Stephen and Tom would be returning to pick you up at 6:30.

You stood in the shower under the hot water finding yourself starring at the floor almost as if in shock. It was hard to believe the past few weeks had happened. Yesterday and last night definitely topping them all. Who knew that Shakespeare worked on some people as an aphrodisiac. Then again Tom himself had a tendency to be a walking aphrodisiac. You shake your head a little. Jeez what weird thoughts. You turn off the water and get out drying off pulling on your ratty old shirt and sweat pants flopping down on your bed as you reach over setting your alarm to wake you up in plenty of time to get ready before Tom picked you up.

Turning over you scrunch your pillow up underneath you starring at the wall. What if you were dreaming? What if last night didn’t really happen? But it did happen. You could feel it. Reaching up you pulled the collar of your shirt down a little bit and giggled seeing a purple hicky from where things had gotten a little carried away. With a grin you pull your shirt back up and close your eyes. Yup, it did happen.

He cared about you, he really and truly did. Did he love you? It was a rule of thumb in your book never to trust to many things that men said in bed, and although you wanted to believe it, you couldn’t let yourself quite yet. That was going to take a little more time. It’s not long before you drift off to sleep, feeling as though you were flying higher than ever.

Later that evening, the four of you sit at a table having drinks before dinner arrived. “Thanks for not canceling on us.” Stephen says sitting next to you. “I know that was probably your first reaction with all the gossip flying around social media.”

“Cancel on you?” You say with half a laugh, “I’m the social pariah, I’m just glad you didn’t immediately call that something came up.”

“Tom’s been an unattainable eligible bachelor for some time and his PR team had played up that aspect heavily.” Mark added. “I’d be surprised if Luke hasn’t been on the phone to him already trying to talk him out publicly admitting he’s seeing anyone.”

Tom glances at Mark wishing he wouldn’t have said that taking a drink of his wine. Of course Luke was one of the first phone calls he got, but he hadn’t told you and wanted to avoid it if at all possible. “He hasn’t admitted it publicly.” You say looking at Tom, “You haven’t, have you?”

“No . . .” He responds looking back at you, “You don’t want me to?”

“That would be a sure way to be sacked on the spot wouldn’t it?” You say softly. “Less complicated if we just keep things private for now, don’t you think?”

 

Tom smiles and takes your hand kissing your knuckles gently with a nod. You were probably right.

“Shelia,” Stephen says, “The stage manager read me the same riot act when she found out Mark and I were together.”

“I don’t remember ever seeing you being eviscerated online, Stephen.” You reply.

“Yes well, I didn’t cross Jane Arthy either.” He replied.

You give a sigh, “She started it.”

“And you finished it, as I recall.” Tom said with a smirk still sorry he’d missed it.

“I walked out before it deteriorated into hair pulling and name calling.” You said in your defense taking another drink. “Really, who is this woman?” You ask finally. “I never even heard of her until she growled at me on your door step.”

“Ex-girlfriend. Sort of.” Tom says not knowing how to explain it. “I would call them dates, she would call them a lifelong declaration of exclusive commitment.”

“But I thought she was there with someone. Wasn’t that her boyfriend she was with?” You ask a little confused. Closing your eyes you shake your head holding up your hand, “Never mind. I’ll google it later.” You say with a sigh. “Doesn’t really matter what’s actually going on, just what the fandom projects is going on. At least that’s kinda what I’m getting from this whole thing.”

“Well. Social media whore might be the most accurate at this moment if we’re completely honest. I’m not sure how she thinks doing this is going to endear to me in the slightest.” Tom says wrapping his arm around you kissing your cheek. “I’m sorry again, love.” Your pocket buzzes and vibrates again as you unconsciously reach in and turn off your phone for what must have been the 94th time since you sat down at the table.

“Do you want to answer it? It seems like it might be urgent.” Mark asks.

“Not really.” You take out your phone and just shut it off completely. “Getting a lot of messages from people and numbers I don’t even know.” The appetizers arrive at the table and you all immediately start to eat.

You hug Stephen. Tom slips his arm around your waist as the pair walk away.

"The night is still young. Dancing or a night cap? Whatever my lady wishes."

"We're off tomorrow, why not both?"

Tom grins. "Sounds fantastic."

You walk in the opposite direction of your friends. Tom adjusts his arm around your waist so that you both can comfortably walk. "Listen, I wanted to thank you."

"For what, sweetheart?"

"For being so understanding. You've been a really great friend."

"I'd like to think I'm more than a friend."

"Boyfriend just sounds so high school."

"Significant other is so sterile." He turns you to face him. "You could call me your love but I'm afraid that would make you run." You look down at his lapel. "I'm trying."

"I know, darling." He tips your chin up. "And that's all I want to you do. Is try." He kisses you sweetly.

"How about that dance?"

You look around the empty street. There was a couple on the other side of the street a block away but other than that, you were alone. "Here?"

"Why not?"

He takes your hand, gliding his palm over yours then locking your fingers together. He sways you from side to side then continues as he moves you in a circle. He leans in again and kisses you, drinking from your lips as you dance by moonlight in the chilly London night. Could this be real? Or just another perfect dream?

Later that evening, Tom’s waiting in your living room while you throw a few things in your bag as he wanted you to come back to his place with him tonight. When you get home you find a message on your machine from the stage manager wanting you to come in immediately.

Turning on your phone you find several messages are left from her and you call to find out what was going on. “Hello? Yes? Please don’t tell me Tom’s costumes were ransacked again we have tomorrow off don’t we?”

“No, that isn’t the problem. You need to come in.” She says sternly.

“Okay.” This seemed strange. “This can’t wait until the day after tomorrow when I come in the morning for . . . .”

“No, Shelia. Right NOW.” She says forcefully.

“Alright. 15 minutes okay?”

“Good.” Then she hung up the phone without another word. You stare at the phone thinking this wasn’t going to be good.

Telling Tom what happened he drives you to the theater and walks in with you. It was really weird that anyone besides security or stage crew was here so late at night when there wasn’t even a production today or tomorrow. Going to the stage managers office you knock on the door and she calls you in.

“Is something wrong?” You ask feeling a bit nervous seeing the look on her face.

“Who is Heather Mckey?” She said instantly with her arms crossed. Your eyes go wide hearing the name and turn down not knowing how to explain that. She picks up your employment form, “You know, it’s strange. Right here, written in your hand, it says ‘Shelia Garrison’.” She tosses it down on her desk, “You lied to us. You used a false name.”

“No. Shelia Garrison is my real legal name. I had it changed.” You say immediately. “Shelia was my middle name, and Garrison is my mothers maiden name.”

“Why would you change your name? Why would you use an alias on an employment form? Did you do something you were afraid we wouldn’t hire you for?” She said.

You close your eyes a moment shaking your head, “No. I haven’t done anything wrong, . . .:” You weren’t on trial here, what was going on? “Why am I being grilled like this? This is incredibly personal, it’s not something I’m required to tell you. Shelia Garrison is my legal name, it’s on my passport, it’s on my visa . . .”

“What is going on?” The stage manager demanded. “We got an anonymous message that you fled America under an assumed name but the reasons for it were unclear. Are you a criminal? Have we hired a fugitive?”

“I wasn’t ‘fleeing’ because of anything I did I . . . .” You sigh rolling your eyes throwing your hands up. “I changed my name, and I left LA because I was in an incredibly abusive relationship. One that sent me to the hospital and I’d finally had enough. So I had my name LEGALLY changed, I packed up, and I left. But that was years ago. I was in the US working Vegas and New York before I came here.”

“Oh.” The stage manager seeming somewhat disarmed now and feeling like a bit of an ass.

“Is that enough detail or should I have the medical files and police reports faxed over for you?” You say incredibly embarrassed and frustrated.

“I’m sorry. I honestly didn’t know. The message that we got . . . . made it seem like there was something sinister going on and we have to protect ourselves.” She admits.

“Where did this message come from? Who sent it?”

“We don’t know, Shelia. It was anonymous. Which made it seem like there was more . . . .” She shook her head embarrassed. “I apologies. Really I do.”

Coming out of the stage managers office she’s apologizing to you again. You walk past Tom who looks between you seeing the sheepish embarrassed look on the stage managers face before quickly following after you.

Leaving the theater Tom catches up at you catching your arm, “Shelia, darling? What is it? What’s wrong.”

You pause a moment taking a breath looking at him, “Tom. We need to talk. I think . . . I think things are about to get more complicated than they already are.” He looks into your eyes giving a nod before you return to his Jaguar and drives you back to his apartment.

Sitting on his couch, each of you with a glass of wine as you lean against him his arm wrapped around you as you explained everything that happened.

Tom strokes your shoulder listening as you relayed the story. “Oh darling.” He says embracing you against him. “I’m sorry sweetheart.”

“So far it’s just been an anonymous tip to the Donmar. When it comes out that I’ve not been sacked, chances are it’s going to be leaked onto the internet.” You say with a sigh.

“You haven’t done anything wrong. I’m sorry that a painful chapter of your life has had light shined upon it, but it is in the past. It can’t hurt you now.” He said softly.

“Except that it was an elicit affair with the lead of the production who was indeed married. It doesn’t paint me in a very good light. Makes me a home wrecker.” You point out.

“How can you be pegged as a home wrecker when he treated you so harshly and abused you in such a grotesque manner?” Tom said, “If light is shed upon the entire incident it’s him who is going to look a dit.”

You think a moment, “I kind of think that he is an anonymous tipster. With my face and name plastered all over social media it helped him find me I think. I’d avoided him so well these past years, but I suppose I couldn’t hide from him forever.”

“If he’s married, and has a career and fully invested in his own life, how does he find time to harass you?” Tom questions.

“Oh he makes time. He’s very controlling, very abusive, and obsessed with having control over someone.” You say remembering how things had gotten so ugly so quickly and how he seemed incredibly aroused just by the thought of hurting you, seeing you cry, or making you scream. “Other side of the world, he still manages to be a dick.”

It had crossed Tom’s mind that it had been Jane who had done this horrid act, however he wasn’t sure she would know about Shelia’s real name much less her past. “oh, I have something for you by the way.” He kisses your cheek as you sit up and he stands disappearing for a moment before coming back. He hands you a small box and you put down your wine glass opening it.

It’s a beautiful custom made top of the line phone. One that you certainly couldn’t afford. You take it out of the box looking at it. “What is this?” You question.

“I know you’ve been having trouble with strange numbers calling your phone and harassing messages. So I asked Luke to open a new account for you under an assumed name. It’s an unlisted number and the only people who will know it are the ones you give it to. I hope you don’t think it’s too bold of me, but I put in my own number with picture and personalized ringtone.” He kisses your cheek, “I want you to know when I’m ringing you.”

You can’t help but smile turning on the phone seeing the cast and crew picture that you’d all taken before the production opened as the background. “Thank you.” You say turning and kissing his cheek. “You didn’t have to do this for me you know, I was making do.”

“Yes well, I did put you in this position that you didn’t ask for and it isn’t fair that you’re life is made more difficult just because we’re seeing each other.” He says honestly.

It was incredibly sweet and you turn towards him, “Thank you so much.” You kiss him tenderly before looking into his eyes, “Truly, you didn’t have to do this. But I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. It’s unbelievably thoughtful.”

He grins and wraps his arms around you pulling you against him his hands on your waist kissing you a bit more passionately before looking into your eyes. “I have plans for us tomorrow.” He says softly.

“Hmmm. Not sure you can top The Globe Theater. You win the world for that trip.” You say softly kissing him once more.

“Oh you’ll like this one. Trust me.” He says with a wink.

You lay cuddled with him. His thumb rubs back and forth on your stomach. Sex with him came easier and easier. You didn't cringe as much when he touched you intimately. Your brain didn't have the urge to run every time you had an orgasm.

His positive influence had done that much at least. You lift and adjust your head in the crook of his arm. He sighs sleepily, laying his hand flat on your stomach and pulling you against him. His face nuzzles into your neck, kissing behind your ear softly.

"You still awake?" His voice is thick with sleep and wine and sex.

"Mmhmm." You lift your head and glance behind you then lay it back down and snuggle into him.

"You're thinking again."

"Yea." You pull the blankets up tighter. "A week ago, two weeks ago, this would have sent me into an anxiety attack." He squeezes you. "I'm honestly surprised it hasn't. Maybe I'm in shock." You roll onto your back, looking into his eyes. The back of his hand glides up the center of your body. "You did that." You lay your hand on the side of his face, running your thumb along his bottom lip. His lips purse to kiss the pad of your thumb.

His hand cups your jaw, his thumb skimming along your cheek. You lose yourself in his crystalline eyes.

"No, you did, Kitten." He presses his lips to yours, the chaste, sweet kiss deepening to take your breath away. You lick your lips tasting him and the wine.

"I've been thinking about something. And I need your help."

"Anything, my love."

"Could you have your team look into a therapist? Or counselor?"

He leans up. "Of course."

You look up at the ceiling past him. "I never talked to anyone about it. But you've made me feel normal and somewhat whole. And I like that feeling."

You meet his eyes again. They're bottomless. You may still doubt his love somewhere in your head but he cared for you. No doubt about that. He wouldn't put up with your shit if he didn't.

"I'll call Luke after breakfast."

"Ok." You roll into your side to face him, throwing your leg over his. He pulls you closer, sliding the knee of his top leg between your thighs. You rest your forehead on his chin, feeling the scruff of his stubble. Your eyelids get heavier, lulled by the sound of his steady heartbeat and heavy breath. Falling asleep, safe and protected in the arms of the man you love, you couldn't imagine it. Or ask for anything more.

Your eyes open feeling your stomach doing back flips. “Fuck.” You say slipping from Tom’s arms and heading for the bathroom. You barely make it through the door when you throw yourself to the floor and violently vomit.

Feeling like you were going to die you rest your face in your hand but not moving from your knees. You could feel that you weren’t done yet even though there couldn’t have been anything left in your entire body to expel. It’s not long before your retching your guts all over again almost in tears. When at last it feels like whatever that was, was over, you flush and lay down on the floor on your side your head resting on your arms.

“Great fucking time to come down with the flu Shelia, just fucking wonderful.” You mumble feeling tired and weak.

A while later, Tom comes hurrying into the bathroom seeing you lying on the floor looking extremely pale, clammy and weak. “Shelia? Darling?” He quickly kneels down on the floor next to you touching your skin finding you had a fever. Getting up he runs cool water on a rag and brings it back touching it to your warm face. You semi-wake pushing his hand away.

“Tom, don’t.” You say trying to keep him from touching you, “You’re going to catch it. Don’t.”

“Jesus, you’re burning up.” Sitting on the floor he slips his arm behind you pulling you onto his lap against him. You still struggle really not wanting him to catch this. He was a determined and dedicated actor, but something about Coriolanus crawling on the stage and puking his guts out just sort of sucked the severity of his character right out the window.

“I’m okay, just let me sleep.” There was no point in fighting him, you were way to weak and after throwing up for a good part of an hour, extremely dehydrated.

“I’m taking you to a doctor.” He says resting the cool cloth against your chest. Getting up from the floor he picks you up and you groan slightly. Your entire body ached from head to toe and your stomach, although now empty, was incredibly upset. You had a flu shot this year, but that was back in the states, but whatever strain of flu this was felt like the kind you had in Jr. High when you almost died from it.

Despite your protests, Tom takes you to urgent care. It's viral but they tell you to stay hydrated and rest. Tom starts to drive you back to his house.

"No. Go to the Warehouse. I have to get ready for tonight."

"Shelia, you're sick. I'm taking you home."

"No. Take me to the Warehouse. I'm not giving her any reason to fire me." You curl into a ball in the passenger seat.

"Fine. I'll take you to the Warehouse but you're going to rest. I'll do whatever needs done." You start to protest but what little strength you have peters out. You doze all the way to the theater.

Tom lays you on a prop couch in his dressing room and covers you up. "Now, what do I need to do?" 

"Iron the costumes and get the supplies ready for each change. There's a list on the desk." You watch him, falling in and out of sleep. You wake up long enough to hear Mary's voice.

"Thomas. Why are you doing her work?"

"She's sick. She woke up throwing up. I took her to the doctor but she refused to go home."

"Is she contagious?"

"Likely. She's running a fever."

"Then take her home."

"She refuses to go home." There's an edge to his voice. "You know, Mary, you have her terrified you're going to fire her. That one slip up and she's gone."

"That wasn't my intention."

"Regardless. You've been exceptionally hard on her. And it's not just myself that's noticed it. Mark, Stephen, the ladies and Hadley have all seen how hard you ride her. With very little praise."

"I suppose I owe her an apology."

"No, I don't think she'd want one. Just lighten up on her."

"Fine. Get her out of here. Before she infects the entire production."

Tom kneels next to you. "Come on, Kitten. I'm taking you home." He helps you up and out to the car.

"But the performance?"

"I'll muddle through. You need your rest."

He piles you into bed. "Your phone is next to the bed. Luke is bringing by soup and Gatorade in a little bit. I asked him to check in on you so don't freak out." He tucks the blanket around and kisses your hair. "I'll be home after the performance."

Coming home after the play, Tom quietly sits beside you on the bed gently feeling your face. It seemed that your fever had broken, and you had been drinking the Gatorade that Luke had brought you. Your skin looked much better although there were still dark circles around your eyes.

Slowly you wake seeing him sitting beside you and he smiles, “Hey there.”

“Hey.” You say softly as your tired eyes move over to the clock. “What are you doing back already?” Usually he was tied up with fans for quite a while after the show and usually got out of the theatre late because of it.

“I wanted to see you. Make certain you were alright.” He says reaching up and gently stroking your hair.

You reach for the water on the nightstand and take a large drink knowing the only way to kick this thing was to drink as much fluid as humanly possible. “My lazy ass hasn’t done anything but lay here today.” You’re incredibly irritated with the fact you were too sick to stay and do your job at the warehouse. “I’ll be okay and ready to get back to work in the morning.” You sigh looking at him, “I’m sorry. Did someone help you with your changes?”

“I got through it well enough I think. Although I can say with complete confidence . . . you were sorely missed. We might be able to slide by, by the skin of our teeth when you aren’t there . . . but it’s just barely and not very well.” He takes your hand holding it tight. You had looked like death warmed over earlier in the day when he took you into the doctors. They had given you two bags of saline to help rehydrate you, but it was terrifying to see you go downhill so fast within a matter of hours.

“Any chance I could get you to pour my dead ass back into my own bed in my apartment? You need your rest, and these sheets are probably contaminated with germs.” You say having been thinking about that for a while.

“Not a chance.” He says taking your hand placing a gentle kiss to your knuckles. “For the sake of quarantine, I’ll sleep in the guest bedroom tonight. But I want you close where I can watch over you. You shouldn’t be alone when you’re sick.” You smile a little looking up at him. It was such a bizarre thing to find someone like him. As busy as he was, and as dedicated as he was to his craft, he still somehow found time to put up with you and your nonsense. “You rest. I’m going to go heat up some soup for you to have before going back to sleep. If you really do intend to try to get back on your feet in the morning, then food and sleep is the best way to go.” You nod and he kisses your hand again before gathering the empty Gatorade and water bottles heading out into the kitchen.

The next morning, Tom reluctantly dropped you off at the warehouse. As you suspected, his costumes needed to be washed, organized, and put right before tonight’s performance. You kept chugging the fluids and nibbling saltine crackers as you worked.

When you walked into your work space you couldn’t help but smile a little at the large bouquet of flowers and get well wishes from various people in the cast and stage crew. They really were an exceptional bunch of people. Much to your surprise, even Mary signed the card wishing you health.

“How did I know you were going to be here today come hell or high water?” Stephen’s voice came from the door as he stepped in with a smile closing it behind him. “How are you feeling today woman?”

“Tired. But much better. I had a really good nurse.” You say with a soft smile.

“Well I saw when he carried you out of here yesterday, you looked like death warmed over.” He admitted.

“Ah. There’s that confidence boost I needed today. Thanks buddy.” You give him a look as you put the last of Tom’s wardrobe up on hangers after running the iron over them. “I’m fine. Just have to deal with the aftermath of it but I’m much better.”

“Yeah in more ways than one.” Stephen said. You look at him a little confused. He looks a bit sheepish realizing that being sick you probably weren’t up on current gossip. “Oh hell. You don’t know.”

“Know what?” Stephen takes out his phone punching up a page before handing it to you. You read before closing your eyes and your head falls back, “oh COME ON!!!”

“Yeah had a feeling you hadn’t heard.” Stephen winces.

“Duh! I think I would know if I was pregnant!” You say shoving his phone back into his hand. “For Christ’s sake. I’m really starting to hate a bunch of people I don’t even know.”

“Well you were throwing up and he took you to the doctor’s office. I imagine that they put two and two together and assumed the reasons behind it.” Stephen explained.

“Pretty sure the stomach flu is not the standard gateway to parenthood.” You start to pick up some of your equipment before dropping it and covering your face with your hand. “Fuck, does Tom know about this?” Suddenly you find yourself embarrassed in countless ways that this was the rumor flying around.

“Probably. You think his PR team are going to let something like that fly by under the radar without verification?” Stephen hops up on the table next to you. “Shelia, relax. They’ll take care of it. Tom isn’t Jude Law.”

You furrow your brow. “Jude Law? What?” That seemed like an out of the blue comment you couldn’t quite understand. “What does that mean?”

He smiles, “Nothing. Just relax. Shit like this is going to keep cropping up. People love to gossip, most of all about celebrities.”

You groan slightly picking up your water taking a drink. Looking around you had things all set up for tonight and you were properly exhausted. “I’m going to sneak a nap before people start showing up for tonight’s performance.” You say going over and sitting down on the couch.

“Sounds like a good idea.” Stephen says with a smile. “Feel better. I’ll see you after the show.” He says heading out and flicking off the light for you on the way by.

That evening, you are watching your monitor with your headset on waiting for Tom’s exit for his costume change. When the camera pans, you sigh seeing a familiar face sitting in the front row of the audience. “Well hello again Miss Arthy.” You grumble to yourself. “I see you haven’t been hit by a bus yet.”

After the performance you begin work for the night on Tom’s wardrobe. You got tired a little easier then normal but that was to be expected after the flu you’d suffered. At least it seemed you were getting over it quickly. As long as you drank a lot you should have been feeling worlds better tomorrow.

Counting Tom’s shirts it seemed you had forgotten an outfit and came out of the laundry room going back down to your work space. You stopped outside the door when you heard two voices coming from inside.

“It’s rather hard to extend you any sort of courtesy with the stunts you’ve pulled since meeting Shelia, Jane. She’s under enough pressure as it is without you adding to them.” Tom’s voice said sternly.

“I promise you Tom, it wasn’t me! I would never do any of those things. I know how much it would upset you and I would never want that. Please believe me.” She begged.

“Except you made disparaging comments about her on your twitter account that kicked the whole thing off. Luke saw them, screen captured them and sent them to me before you erased them. Don’t lie to me Jane, your jealous is unflattering enough without adding insincerity.” Tom answered.

There was a moment of silence, “Tom I just wanted to see your performance. I thought you were absolutely brilliant. I wanted to see if you would like to go out to dinner, or to have a drink. We’re old friends after all, and I thought it would be a good way to congratulate you on s job extremely well done.”

“Under the circumstances I think it would be highly inappropriate to go anywhere with you alone. I am with Shelia, I love her very much and I won’t risk making her uncomfortable like that. Friend or not.” He said sternly.

There was another long moment of silence, “How can you act this way? How can you want to be with her? She’s nothing more than a stage hand. One who lied about who she was, about her name, who knows what else she’s hiding. She isn’t good enough for you, she isn’t worthy of you. And she’s not even that pretty.”

“I beg to differ with you. She is beautiful, on the outside as well as on the inside. Sadly the same cannot be said about you. I think it’s time for you to go. I thank you for your congratulations and I’m glad that you enjoyed the performance, but you have now overstayed your welcome. Give Andy my best. Hearing Tom approaching the door, you quickly duck back down the hallway and turn the corner out of sight. Tom opens the door bidding Jane a farewell. Reluctantly she walked out of the room and Tom slammed the door behind her. Her face darkened and she turned leaving the theater.

You didn’t know what to say. You never thought you would hear time say such things, or act so . . . commanding. At the same time it made your heart flutter that he would defend you so forcefully. The only person to do that was Ellen. Turning the corner you walked back to the dressing room and opened the door. Tom smiles seeing you and walks over placing his hands on your waist, “Hello darling.” He kisses your cheek before rubbing your shoulders, “How are you feeling.”

“Tired. But miles better than last night, and way more than this morning.” You admit.

“Wonderful. I’m glad.” He kisses your forehead wrapping his arms around you embracing you tightly. “It’s so good to have you back here with me, Things went so much smoother then last night, much quicker and no problems. I think you’ve spoiled me by raising the bar so high.” He says with a chuckle.

“Thank you.” You smile, “You better get going. It’s freezing outside. You’re going to have a line of fan girl popsicles.”

“Alright. But only an hours worth. Then we’re out of here so you can get some rest.” He says.

“No, that’s alright. I think I’m going to go back to my own apartment tonight so you can have your bed back.” When you left, his cleaning lady had come in and took all the sheets and bedding apart to wash and clean them. Thank God. You were willing to do it, but you honestly had to be at work. You didn’t want to leave your germs to infect Tom and make him sick.

“Are you certain? I’m not sure I’m comfortable with your being alone yet.” He said cautiously.

“I’m fine.” You say with a giggle thinking he was certainly the worry wart. “Go on. Your army awaits.” He gives you a sly look before smiling and kissing you deeply. He swats your behind as he walks past you, his body guard having been waiting for him in the hallway as he heads out to face the hoard of fans.

You gather the last of the bloody clothing and head down to the laundry room piling them in with the last load and then waiting for them to run through the cycle. When they’re finished you take them back to your workspace and inspect each one to make sure the stains were gone before hanging them up and straightening them out neatly for the next performance.

 

(Continued --> )


	6. Limelight - Chapter 6

When you get home to your apartment, you’re extremely exhausted. First thing was first you got into the hot shower and washed your tired aching body from head to toe twice, then slip into your pajama’s. Drinking two bottles of water, you brush your teeth before getting into your bed. Oh it was so good to be in your own bed again. Turning off the light you snuggle in and fall asleep.

The wrap party was alive and kicking even though you were a bit tipsy and more than a little sad. You managed to separate from group and hide in Tom's dressing room.

You sat in his chair, looking around the room. It would be weird not to see him in this room next performance. If Mary even kept you on. You toyed with the hem of your dress. With the last performance being tomorrow, you had a day before you and Tom left for the holiday he really had planned as a surprise.

A throat clears from the doorway. "I thought is find you here." 

"Sorry. I guess I'm feeling sentimental."

"It's quite alright." Mary walls over to you and leans against the dressing table. "I know I've been hard and demanding. And I'm not going to apologize for that. I just wanted to say you've done amazing job this production and I do hope you'll stay on for the next."

"Are you kidding me? Of course." You stammer slightly.

Mary holds up her hand. "I was wrong in thinking your relationship with Tom would detrimental. I've seen the way you two look at each other. And you've been nothing but professional despite everything that happened. I hope you enjoy the break and look forward to seeing you in April."

You watched her leave and spotted Tom, holding another pair of glasses of champagne. He nods at Mary. "You'll at least see me settled in Canada before the start, right? Like we'd discussed?"

"Yes. Ellen's coming up to visit. And so is my mom."

"I'll get to meet your mother?"

You toy with the hem of your dress again. "It was my surprise."

He gathers you up into his arms. "I've done several stage performances but this one is favorite."

"Why's that?"

"Because I met the woman I love." He nuzzles his nose against yours. You gaze into each other's eyes for what seems like forever. Swaying back and forth to music that isn't there.

"We should probably get back." 

"We should."

He interlaces his fingers with yours and brings your joined hands to his lips.

"I can't wait to get you home."

"Why's that?"

"So I can push this lovely dress up to your hips and take you over the back of my reading chair."You laugh.

"You think the dress is lovely?" Your face and neck flush with wine and desire.

"Cheeky brat." He kisses you deeply. You can taste the champagne on his tongue. You still weren't much of a wine drinker but it tasted better on his mouth.

"I knew we'd find them making out." Stephen titters from the doorway. The kiss breaks and you both look at Mark and Stephen.

"How much do you want to bet, pet, that his costumes disappear? He does look rather dashing in red leather."

"You." The four of you head back to that party.

The party is winding up and you get your things. Tom comes in, “Are you ready to go?”

“Actually I need to head home really quick. You don’t mind do you?” You ask.

“Not at all, I’ll drive you . . .” He begins.

“Oh no. It’s okay, I know you’re still visiting. I’d just run home really quick and get a changes of clothes and some pajama’s. I really need to do some laundry.” You say zipping up your coat.

“Okay. If you’re certain. Pick you up in an hour and a half?” He questions.

“Sounds good.” He smiles and wraps his arms around you kissing you deeply.

“Mmmm.” He moans against your lips before looking into your eyes, “We definitely need to get home as soon as possible.” He says against your lips. You giggle and kiss him again before you both embrace tightly.

Tom goes back to talk to a couple of his fellow cast members and you leave the theater walking home. When you get there you pause a moment seeing scratches on the lock. They must have been there before but you never noticed. It was strange. Unlocking it you go inside before closing the door and turning on the light. When you turn back your eyes go wide finding a familiar face in your house.

“Hello pet.” Tyler says as he stands from the couch. Your heart starts to race thumping loudly in your chest. You feel a knot in your throat and you can hadn’t breathe.

“What are you doing here? How did you get in to my apartment?” You ask in a terrified almost whisper barely able to form the words. He smiles.

“It’s been a long time. You’ve been hiding out from me haven’t you. That’s why I haven’t been able to find you. Would you believe how lucky it was I was visiting Britain when you're picture popped up on the web.” He says with a small sinister grin.

“I have a retraining order. You shouldn’t be here. You’re breaking the terms, your breaking the law.” You say quickly.

“Oh baby, that’s for the states. It doesn’t cover England.” He says his smile growing a bit more.

Your eyes were still wide as your mind began to race. This was a nightmare, it was a complete and utter nightmare. “If you wanted to stay hidden from me so much, maybe you shouldn’t be fucking a famous actor. Never thought you’d turn into a whore, my shy little pet.”

At once you turn and run for the next room, quickly slamming the door closed. He throws himself against it and slams his fist against the wood. You quickly go to the closet and dig through it as bits and pieces fall out around you. At the back of the closet you find your baseball bat and take it out. Just as he smashes the door open with his shoulder.

You raise the bat trying to hit him with it, but he reaches out grabbing you by the throat before he grabs your wrist holding the weapon and squeezes twisting your hand so hard you hear a crack in your arm. You cry out as the bat falls from your hand and he pulls you closer his hand tightening around your throat. “I’ve been looking for you pet. I told you once my divorce was final you’d move in with me.”

You grit your teeth gasping for air. Suddenly you manage to spit in his face. Causing him to laugh as he wipes it from his eyes. Then at once his hand comes across your face so hard your head jerks back and you fall to the floor. Within a moment there’s darkness and you blackout from the pain.

Tyler stands over you cocking his head wiping his face again, “Hmm. Seems like you’ve forgotten how things are. Guess we’ll have to start over.” Reaching down he grabs your arm he’d already injured by twisting it so far he almost dislocated your shoulder before jerking you up from the floor and slinging you over his arm picking you up and taking you back in the living room tossing you down on the couch.

Tom had said an hour but you'd been teasing each other at the party. He couldn't wait to get you home and trace every line of your body with his tongue.

He pulled up in front of your house after only 30 minutes. He whistled to himself, buttoning his suit jacket as he walked. The front light wasn't on like always. In fact, he couldn't see any lights on. He raised his hand to knock.

Your scream cuts the night like the knife cutting your cheek. "Shelia?!" He tries the knob. You scream again as the knife slices along your collarbone. Tyler set to work quickly. He'd shredded your lovely dress Tom had bought for you. Then he proceeded to beat the hell out of you before tying on you your back to your coffee table. A limb to each leg.

When Tom busted through your front door, Tyler sat on your belly, taking his knife to your alabaster skin. Several bleeding lines criss-crossed your chest. He hadn't gotten into his real fun yet.

The sound that came from Tom's throat was nigh on unintelligible, full of rage. He tackled Tyler off you and onto the floor. He might have only fought in choreographed fights but this. This. This was you!

The two of them struggled with the knife before it slid over under the couch. They traded blows back and forth. You could only watch in horror and sob uncontrollably.

Sirens filled the night. One of you neighbors had called the police. Tom and Tyler were still trading punches when the police stormed into the room.

They handcuffed both men and helped you free. One of the officers covered you in a blanket. You weren't coherent in your hysterical crying and occasional screaming. The medics tried to get you out of the house and onto the ambulance but every time they took you out of sight of Tom, you began to shriek. The police uncuffed Tom when they were able to make out the scene.

You collapse into Tom's arms, the blanket and your body getting his clothes bloody.

"I'm so sorry, baby. Shelia, please let the medics take care of you." You wouldn't let go of him but you nodded. Tom nodded to the officer and the officer waved the medics over.

At the hospital, Tom stood signing paperwork and giving a report to the police on everything that had happened. Luke had arrived not long after as Tom had called him to tell him what was going on, on the ambulance ride.

“How badly is she hurt?” Luke asked.

“She had some cuts that took a few stitches and she was beat pretty bad. But there’s nothing broken and they don’t think there’s any permanent damage. It seems to be all superficial.” Tom said a somber look on his face as he was slightly in shock at the entire event himself. “She’s resting right now, out cold. They sedated her on the way here, put her out the rest of the way because she was still in hysterics.”

Luke sighed, “I’m afraid the bad news doesn’t stop there Tom.”

He looked at him, “What?”

“Neither one of them are British citizens. They’re both American. Can press charges all we want but the fact is that he’s already contacted the American embassy. They’ll ship him back to the states but that’s probably as far as it’s going to go.” He said with a sigh.

Tom just stared at him for several moments in silence. “That’s rubbish. That is absolute rubbish! She had a restraining order against him!”

Luke held up his hands, “I said probably, Tom. These overseas matters get tricky sometimes and they might prefer to just not deal with it. However, because she is seeing you and you do have some notoriety, it’ll be harder to just be swept under the carpet.”

“Good! Use me however it takes to see that bastard rots in jail! Do you have any idea . . . . she’s not just . . . come here.” Tom grabbed his arm and took him down the hallway to where your room was and walked him just inside the door. Luke frowns to see you lying in the hospital bed bandages over your wounds, the one on your face. Various black and blue marks from the bruises he’d cause showing on your arms and around your neck where he’d held you more than once. “He doesn’t get to get away with this Luke.”

Luke gives a nod understanding and agreeing completely. “I’ll make a few calls.” He said clasping Tom’s shoulder before turning and disappearing into the hallway taking out his phone.

Tom sighs and walks over sitting down next to your bed where you lay on your side asleep. Reaching up he gently strokes your hair back from your face, his lip quivering as he felt a knot in his throat as he choked back the tears. He leans down close to your face, “He’s not going to get away with this.” He promises before kissing your forehead ever so gently wrapping his hand around yours holding it gently.

A while later Mark and Stephen appear at the doorway, Tom having been sitting in the chair next to your bed watching over you. He had called the Donmar stage manager to explain to her what had happened and why you were not going to be there tomorrow and word had spread from there about your being in the hospital. He knew how much your job meant to you and you were in no condition to handle it yourself.

Tom stood and walked over as Mark shook his hand. Stephen walked over to you placing the teddy bear he’d brought you on the nightstand next to the bed. Tom stood telling them both what had happened as Stephen’s look darkened. “What about her family?” Mark asked.

“I called her friend, Ellen. She’s taking care of it. I believe she and Shelia’s mother are getting on a plane now to come here. They said they would call when they arrived at the airport.” Tom responded. “They’re going to keep her sedated for a while longer before bringing her around. Then the police are going to want to get her statement as well to find out what happened before I got there.”

“Thank God you got there when you did.” Stephen said. Tom didn’t even want to think about what could have happened if he hadn’t come to get you earlier then he’d said. A few minutes later, the nurse came by letting them know that visiting hours were over.

Mark shook Tom’s hand again as did Stephen, “Call us if you need anything.”

“Thank you.” They turned and left and Tom returned to his seat, having no intention of leaving your side. They couldn’t drag him out of their if they tried.

Your eyes open slowly feeling every single pain and ache in your body. You groan a little reaching up and covering your eyes with your hand. It was so incredibly bright and it hurt your eyes. After a moment the light over your bed turned off allowing you to see better.

“Hello darling.” Tom’s voice said gently. You look up to see his face and smiled. He was such a wonderful sight to wake up to. He smiled and leaned down kissing your forehead before looking into your eyes, “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been run over by a herd of elephants.” You say softly.

“The doctor said you’re going to be sore for a while, but you should be fine in a few weeks.” He explained as he stroked your hair. “They’re going to give you some meds to help with the pain.” You give a nod reaching up and touching your face. You frown when you feel the large bandage that covered half your face. “It’s alright sweetheart, it really isn’t that bad.”

You sigh, “I hate you seeing me this way. I thought I was done with the hospital trips when I left LA.”

“Well you live here now, and he’s being sent back to the states. He won’t be allowed here again after this. He won’t bother you again darling.” He said holding your hand lacing his fingers with yours.

“Did I miss closing night?”

“Yes, but we somehow made it through. And,” He motioned around the room and you lift your head looking about. There were countless flowers in every direction that were sent to you with well wishes. “From the cast and others who were hoping it might cheer you up.”

You blink in astonishment, “I . . . I don’t know that many people.” You say softly.

Tom pauses a moment before sighing. He couldn’t hide it from you forever, “Word has gotten out. About what happened to you. We’ve managed to keep specific details out of the press, but we haven’t been able to hide the fact that you’re in the hospital.”

“Oh Tom.” You say softly. Tears start to fill your eyes feeling incredibly foolish and humiliated. Reaching up you cover your eyes with your hand. “I am so sorry. I don’t know how this happened.”

“Darling.” He says leaning closer, “None of this is your fault. It’s his fault. That degenerate moron who broke into your flat and attacked you.”

You pause a moment, “I remember.” You say softly, “You came and you saved me.” It was strange, almost surreal as you remembered more of the attack. “Tom, he could have really hurt you, he could have . . . he could have . . .” You cringe realizing how much danger Tom was really in considering how sadistic Tyler was.

“Shelia.” He says reaching up and touching your face, “I would have ripped that bastard apart with my bare hands for even considering touching you as he did. I never should have let you go back to your flat alone, I should have gone with you.” Tom had been feeling incredibly guilty about it since it had happened.

“Tom . . .”

“No,” He reaches up touching your lips with his fingertips. “Hush. You just need to focus on getting better. Ellen and I are seeing to everything else.”

You furrow your brow, “But what about Crimson Peak? You start filming soon, don’t you?”

“I have a month before shooting begins. Stop worrying so much sweetheart, everything is fine.” He says with a chuckle stroking your hair.

“I hate hospitals.” You say in a quiet voice, “When can I go home?”

“The doctor wants to run a few more tests, but if everything checks out and looks good then they think they’ll be able to release you by tonight. As long as you are cooperative and don’t give them a hard time.” He says arching a brow. It seemed you hadn’t been so cooperative already when you weren’t fully conscious. You had a very definite, stubborn, and combative mood. You give a nod and he smiles kissing your forehead. “Good girl.”

Later that night, it was almost 10 when they released you from the hospital, but rather than take you back to your flat he took you home to his house. He didn’t think that your apartment was somewhere you wanted to be right now after having been attacked there. Even though he had paid his cleaning lady to clean up your apartment leaving no trace of the attack for when you did go back. Ellen and your mother hadn’t arrive yet but Tom imagined they’d be staying at your flat.

Of course Tom was very protective of you and right on your arm in case you needed help. You could move just fine even though you were sore and in pain. “I’m okay Tom, really.” You say half laughing. He wrinkles his nose playfully realizing he was probably over doing it just a bit and kisses your cheek gently. “I’ll get your t-shirt and track pants so you can change for bed.”

“I could really use a shower.” You say softly.

“Are you sure you can do that?” He questions. You just give him a look and he laughs a little bit, “Alright. Just . . . let me know if you need something. Okay?”

You give a nod and head to his bathroom closing the door behind. Turning around you frown catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. You looked at your face in horror approaching it touching the cut in your cheek, before touching the dark bruises on your neck where Tyler had strangled you several times. “Oh my God.” You whisper pulling the collar of your shirt down where he’d sliced your skin open several times. Tears filled your eyes as you looked at yourself. It was like you’d been in an accident. You supposed you were, but it was horrifying to see.

Shaking your head you strip off your clothes and get into the shower intending to scrub your body in hot water, to wash everything that had happened away. You just wanted it all to go away like it had never happened.

You exhaust the hot water, screaming and crying and beating on the tile. You half expected Tom to come running in but he didn't. Which made you think better of him.

You avoided looking in her mirror add you dressed and brushed your hair. Your scalp was tender and you could feel bald patches where Tyler had ripped the hair from your head. You left your hair down just this once.

Tom sat on the couch, his knees drawn up, staring into the fire. He clearly had something on his mind.

You clear your throat and looks up. Instantly, his face transforms into a mask of love.

You hold up your hand. "Please don't do that. Don't act for me. I know I look like shit. I feel like shit. This whole situation is shit."

His smile falls. "Shelia. Come here." He pats the couch next to him. You slid against his, into the curve of his body. "I wasn't acting. I felt like you needed a brave face and to see how much I love you."

You're honest with yourself and him. "I don't need a brave face but I do need to see your love. I just want this to be over with."

"It will be soon." He cuddles you closer but is careful of your wounds. "I want you to stay here for awhile."

You didn't want to go back to your apartment. And with Ellen and your mom coming, they'd insist on you moving. So for once you didn't fight him. "Alright. Just until I can find another place."

Tom pauses. "Well ok then." He laughs and it's the best sound you've heard since waking up. "I had a whole speech prepared but now I don't need it."

You rest your unbandaged cheek against his chest. "I love you." "I love you too, Kitten." He plays with your hair, staring into the fire. "Cocoa?"

"Yes please." You draw the blanket around you as he slips off the couch.

"Be right back, my love."

You watch him go, feeling the anxiety bubble swell in your chest. You knew this time you couldn't do it alone. You'd have to get help. Maybe Luke could find someone.

You phone rang a number you didn't recognize but the name of hospital was underneath. "Hello?"

"Is this Shelia?"

"This is her."

"Great. Normally, we wouldn't do this over the phone but the attending asked me to call and have you stop taking the narcotic pain reliever. He's sending out another script to the pharmacy that Mr. Windsor put down."

"Okay.... is there a reason?"

"Well of course, dear. You can't take narcotics while you're pregnant. He didn't see the positive hCG result."

"Oh ok. Thank you. Bye." You end the call. The kettle whistles and the anxiety bubble burst. The cry in the shower was a sniffle compared to this. The sobs rip from your chest, painfully.

Tom comes in carrying a tray. He nearly drops it on the table, spilling cocoa, marshmallows and the chocolate chip cookies the two of you baked the other night all over the tray. He crushes you against him, ignoring your injuries. "Oh Shelia. Tell me what to do. Tell me what to do and I'll do it."

You manage to choke out of the words. "I'm pregnant."

Tom blinks falling silent a moment as he just stares at you. You fall silent your eyes turning down realizing what you had just said outloud. This wasn’t just your problem, it was his too. It was his baby. “Sorry? What was that?” He asks.

You reach up wiping your tears away taking a few deep breaths. “The hospital just called to tell me they’re switching my pain meds. It’s standard procedure for them to run a pregnancy test on women when they come in. Mine came back positive and they said they had to change my prescription because narcotics can’t be used when you’re . . . .” You sigh not wanting to repeat it.

Tom is still quiet just staring at you wide eyed. Inside it felt like ice water running through your veins wishing you hadn’t just blurted it out at him all of a sudden. You should have taken time to think it through. To even decide you wanted to tell him or to just keep it to yourself land figure out what to do later. But it was too late now. It was out there.

“Oh God,” You cover your face with your hand feeling like a complete ass now. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” You look up at him as he still just stares at nothing in shock. Shaking your head you get up from the couch to go get your coat. Things just got even more complicated than they already were, you managed to make it worse, and you didn’t want to put more pressure on him.

Tom shakes it off and quickly gets up following after you, “Shelia, wait!” You open the hall closet door and take out your coat putting it on. “Shelia.” He stops you pulling your coat off and putting it back in the closet closing the door. “Sweetheart, just . . . just wait.” He reaches out gently cupping your face in his hands trying to calm you down before resting his hands on your shoulders. “Let’s just . . .lets have a moment to process this, okay?” He asks really needing to sort this out in his own head.

“What? What is there to think about?” You shake your head, “I’ll just, . . . I’ll go to the doctors and I’ll get it taken care of. No one ever has to know, okay? It was a mistake. It was my fault, and I’ll deal with it.”

Tom furrows his brow, “How was this your fault? Last time I checked it takes two darling.”

“I haven’t been on birth control since I left the states and never told you. I never warned you.” You say tears welling up in your eyes. “So yes, that makes it my fault.”

“Oh really? I didn’t ask you if you were taking anything, and I don’t recall at any point using a condom or taking precautions of any kind. Sorry love, seems we both dropped the ball.” He sighs and reaches up rubbing his eyes slightly.

You didn’t really have anywhere to go right now. Back to your apartment was an option, and checking into a hotel looking like you’ve been in a car wreck probably wasn’t going to fly without someone noticing. “I’m tired.” You say softly not wanting to cry anymore and wanting desperately to get your out of control emotions in check. “I’m going to go lay down in your guest bedroom.” Before Tom can respond, you quickly walk away going to the guest bedroom and closing the door. Leaning your back against it you stare up at the ceiling as tears escape your eyes falling down your face. What an absolute mess.

Around 4am, you’re lying on the bed with a small blanket pulled over your middle just starring at the wall in the darkness. You can’t sleep, you can’t even close your eyes for any amount of time. In the morning you were going to have to start looking for a new apartment, and at this point you were going to be grateful for the escape. You felt like you’d imposed on Tom enough at this point, and caused enough problems. He had his career to think about and he didn’t need a broken neurotic mess like you getting in the way of that.

The door of the room opens quietly and Tom slips inside coming to sit beside you on the bed in the darkness. He doesn’t say anything at first and then reaches up gently stroking your hair. You close your eyes loving the feel of his touch, it was always calming and seemed to take so much pressure and pain away.

“I don’t want you to get rid of it.” He says after a moment.

“Oh Tom, don’t.” You say turning over and burying your face in the pillow. “Please don’t.” He barely had any time to think about this at all and you still didn’t fully believe it yourself.

“No, now listen to me.” He says reaching over and turning on the small lap on the nightstand. Taking your hands he pulls you to sit up and wraps his arms around your waist holding you close. “I love you. I love you so much it hurts sometimes darling. It hurts not knowing how to fix things. I would make it all better and all the bad things go away for you if I could. Unfortunately, despite what some people think, I’m only a man and can only do so much.” He takes a breath looking into your tired eyes gathering his thoughts. “We have time. We don’t have to make a decision right now about what we want to do. What you need right now most of all is time to rest, time to heal.” Reaching up he gently strokes your hair back from your eyes. “But don’t worry about this. It’s not the end of the world and it isn’t your fault.”

You give a nod still feeling shaky inside and incredibly vulnerable. “Don’t tell anyone.” You whisper softly, “I know that . . . secrets are almost impossible to keep but please Tom. This one . . . this one we’ve got to keep quiet and just between us. Not even Ellen, not even my mom. Okay?”

He looks into your eyes and gives a quiet nod not entirely sure if he agreed with that idea. Because keeping it so quiet and just between the two of you kept the abortion option open and it was the one thing he was completely against. Even if it was the easy way out. “Alright. Until we decide how we want to handle things, just between us.” He says kissing you gently. “But for now you just need to concentrate on you. Concentrate on getting better. Everything’s going to be alright darling. I promise.” He reassures you. You close your eyes giving a nod before hugging him tight resting your head to his shoulder. He kisses your head holding you close gently rubbing your back with his hand.

After a few moments he stands tossing the blanket back and lifts you from the bed carrying you back to his room to sleep with him. He wanted you close, and he wanted to hold you. He couldn’t do that if you were in a different room on the other side of the house.

A week later, your wounds and bruises looked better and were starting to heal. The bandages came off and the stitches not far behind them as everything looked good and there was no infection. You sat with Ellen and your mom eating lunch at a bistro not far from your old apartment.

“I really like the new apartment.” Your mother says, “I think it’s much nicer than the old one. We can have all your things moved over to the new one by Thursday.”

“Thank you guys.” You say softly, “I don’t know how I could have gotten any of this done without you.” Your mom reaches over and wraps her arm around you. There’s a long moment of silence before you look between them. “What?”

“Heather . . .” She begins but you stop her.

“Mom, that’s not my name anymore.” You remind her.

“Oh, sorry. Shelia.” She corrects herself. “It’s sort of hard to break a lifetime habit honey. You’ve always been Heather to me. I only used your middle name when you were in trouble.” You smile and stick your tongue out at her playfully. The table falls silent again before she looks at you, “I know how much you’ve wanted to come here, and how much you love working in the theater . . . but . . . don’t you think it’s time you came home?” You sigh putting down your drink. This wasn’t a new tune from her, she never liked the idea of your moving to another country. The only difference now is that what happened gave her a leg to stand on.

“I had a setback. That’s all. Tyler’s gone, and he’s not going to be allowed back in Britain.” You were doing much better now, you could control your emotions better and you hadn’t cried in nearly a full week. “The Donmar didn’t fire me like I was afraid they were going to do, and there are 3 other theaters in the west end that have offered me jobs as stage crew and wardrobe mistress. I’m doing fine. The new apartment is bigger, and everything is fine.”

Ellen gave a nod and smiled a little, “That’s great Shelia . . . but you’re just here on a work visa. What happens when that expires?”

“Then I get another one. I’m looking into applying for citizenship soon then it won’t be an issue at all.” You admit.

“Is it because of Tom? You don’t want to come home because of him?” Your mother asks. You look at her before picking up your glass taking a drink. “Honey, I know you two seem thick as thieves right now and we’ve seen the way you look at each other . . . but you’ve only been together a few months. He travels the world doing movies and press junkets . . . he’s going to be away a lot. Time apart like that doesn’t always do relationships any favors.” You’d already thought of that to be honest, which put another mark in the ‘baby-isn’t-a-good-idea’ column. However you and Tom had agreed to keep it absolutely quiet. You didn’t even talk about it outloud to each other. Tom wanted you to have time to get better before you had to face it.

“Mom, even if Tom and I don’t work out . . . I love it here. I love working here. I want to stay as long as I can.” She sighs in disappointment, “I’m not saying that I’ll never come back to the states, I might someday. Just . . . not now.”

You sit on your back terrace while your mom and Ellen pack. They understood why you couldn't be in the flat but wanted to be there.

Ellen's voice is loud and angry from the front room.

"You've got alot of nerve showing your skanky Skeletor face here. I suggest you leave."

"I just wanted to see if Shelia was alright. Thomas and Luke have stonewalled all my attempts."

"Like you fucking care. It's YOUR FAULT HE FOUND HER!"

You walk into the room. "Ellen please." Your best friend seethes, her hands clenched in fists. "I'm pretty sure I just saved you a punch to the face, Jane."

"I need a fucking cigarette." She snatches up her pack and lighter. She stabs a finger at Jane. "You better be gone before I'm done or my fist will meet your face." You watch her out the patio door.

"Talk and make it quick."

"I'm truly sorry. I never meant anything like this to happen. The media leak was supposed to make you rethink your relationship with Thomas. The lack of privacy, the scrutiny."

"And you think he'd run right to you?"

"Oh I'm sure he would have. But you managed to win his heart."

"Do me a favor and go away. If you see me ever, go in the other direction."

You pull into the driveway. You should have just let Ellen slap her. Dropping your keys and purse on the hall table, you find Tom in his chair with his laptop open. He's scrolling through cute baby toys. Cartoony baby animals.

"Tom?"

"Kitten." He closes the laptop. You sigh and sit on the arm of the chair. "Baby toys?"

"You saw."

"I saw." You didn't want to talk about this now. Instead, you decide to explain. "Ellen told me she told you everything. But there's one thing that I never told her." He sets the laptop to the side. "One of the things the counselor told me I had to was tel the truth. And the truth is, Tom, they told me there was a 85% chance I wouldn't get pregnant and if I did, there was no guarantee I'd be able to carry to term."

He fell very still. You slid off the arm of the chair and into his lap. "Then why - I mean, I don't understand your reservations against the baby."

"I...I want to be excited and happy. This is a part of you." You lay your hand on your lower abdomen. "This is something I had resigned myself to never having. It hurts. If - if what happened damaged the baby, I'd never forgive myself. For hurting you like that. I worry -" You take a shuddering breath, anxiety and tears threaten. "- I worry about miscarriage. Spontaneous abortion. How can I be excited with that eating at me? How can I be happy when I'm expecting this to be snatched from me?"

Tom holds you against his chest, resting his chin on your head. "Shelia, it's ok to worry and be afraid but you deserve to be happy." He takes a deep breath. "If something happens to the baby, then maybe we can try again when we're ready."

"What if I don't want to try again?" There. You'd said it. Tyler had taken motherhood away from you and you'd let it go.

"Then we can adopt. When we're ready. I'll never make you do anything you don't want. So if we're never ready then-" He shrugged.

A knot let go in your belly. You cuddle against him. "Jane came by the flat."

"She didn't."

"She did." You tell him the story.

"You should have let Ellen hit her." You burst out laughing. "What? I'll never hit a woman but I can't help but blame her partially for this."

You smile a little looking into his eyes brushing his stubbly face with your fingertips. He was so handsome. You regretted a lot of things about your relationship, the things that happened, the drama that ensued, everything else that put pressure on him. You never felt this way about anyone before, you really and truly did love him.

Turning in his lap you reach over and open the laptop to see what he was looking at. You grin looking at him. “I’m sensing a theme here.” You say clicking on the cart/wishlist that he had been filling up. Décor, stuffed animals, bedding, all of it from Disney’s Jungle book.

He smiles a little wrapping his arms around your waist resting his chin on your shoulder. “Oh come on, it’s cute isn’t it? I was thinking, if we convert the spare bedroom into a nursery, we could paint a mural on the wall with the characters. Baloo, Bagera, King Louis.”

Somehow the two of you managed to keep this whole thing under wraps. You hadn’t told anyone but each other, and you hadn’t spoken of it out loud. It seemed like Tom had become rather excited about the prospect of being a father, and he hadn’t been able to share his excitement and was positively bursting at the seams. He hadn’t even been able to share it with you, not wanting to upset you or make you feel pressured because of what he wanted. You realize that maybe you were being exceptionally selfish. You were letting your fears get the best of you, and when he showed even the slightest interest in the subject you smacked him down fast.

You turn and look into his eyes a moment before kissing his cheek then resting your head against his as you both look at the laptop screen while he scrolls through the different popups he had opened and the things he had found. “Do you really . . . .” You pause turning your eyes down a minute not entirely sure how to approach this. “You really . . .want this baby. Don’t you.”

He pauses a moment almost as though he was afraid to answer. He wraps his other arm around you embracing you tight on his lap before whispering into your ear, “More than anything.” He confesses. “I love you sweetheart. And as unexpected as this was . . . conceiving a child with the woman I love, I can’t imagine there being anything more wondrous then that.” He reaches up touching your chin turning your face towards him so he can look into your eyes. “Can you imagine how beautiful our baby would be? With your beautiful smile?”

You smile a little bit, “Your beautiful eyes?”

He grins, “The way your nose scrunches when you try not to laugh.”

Reaching up you slide your fingers through his hair, “You’re curly blonde locks?”

He chuckles a little his smile brightening, “You really think so?” He says as you both giggle at the thought.

“I used to be a blonde too when I was little. I don’t think they have a hope of escaping it.” You say with a laugh. The two of you smile finding a shared moment of happiness and excitement. You kiss each other tenderly as his large hands gently strokes your body. You look into each others eyes once more.

“We’ll keep things just between us. No one will know except you and me. At least for now. But . . . is it alright if we could be a little excited? Just a little bit?” He questions almost pleading, desperately wanting you to be excited too.

You were still afraid, how could you not be? But if you looked into getting a good OBGYN, did things right, did things carefully then maybe . . . maybe you didn’t have to be so afraid. Looking into his eyes now, you couldn’t allow your fears to squish his happiness. It was selfish of you, and you knew it. It wasn’t just all about you anymore. Tom had to come first. Although he was always your first thought, you didn’t always act accordingly. He’d been putting you first for some time, coming to your aid, coming to your rescue, caring for you when you were sick, watching over you when you were injured, defending you when people were being complete asses for no clear reason other than jealousy.

Smiling softly you kiss him once more before whispering, “I would love to have your baby Thomas. I would be honored to have the child of the man I love.”

A light shines in his eyes looking at you, “Yeah?” He says as you can see the happiness and excitement washing over his face. You smile and nod. He grins and cups your face kissing you once, then again, then once more, before lavishing kisses all over embracing you tighter. You couldn’t help but laugh kissing and hugging him back seeing how happy he was.

“But we don’t tell anyone.” You remind him. “Not for a while at least.”

“Not a soul, just us.” He actually liked the two of you hiding this secret and keeping it for yourselves. “Just us.” He repeats kissing you again unable to stop holding you tight.

You giggle as his stubbly kisses tickles your skin. “Okay,” You say with a grin, “Bring me up to speed on everything you’ve already picked out.”

“Just stuff for the nursery.” He says excitedly pulling the laptop a bit closer to the two of you closing a few windows before opening one with furniture. “I thought this set might look nice, the dark oak colors will go with anything. It’s a crib, a dresser, and a changing table. The Jungle book is sort of unisex so the colors in the mural and the walls would be neutral. Sort of jungle themed all the way around.”

“Good. I’d prefer jungle to Disney.” You admit never really liking the commercial branding that Disney seemed to go in for. He smiles kissing your shoulder.

“Look, they even have Jungle Book bedding for the crib.” He says pulling up another window. You can’t help but laugh a little kissing his cheek again as he excitedly continued to show you things he’d found. He must have been thinking about this constantly since you first told him the news. You regretted that you hadn’t told him in a better way, but you were such an emotional mess you weren’t thinking straight, or really thinking about anything but yourself. But it was time for that to change.

A little while later he took you to the spare room he had picked out for the nursery, and moved around the room showing you where things would go, what would be painted on the walls, the different furniture that would be included. He just seemed to sparkle and shine and you couldn’t help but smile knowing how happy he was. How happy you had made him.

“So what do you think?” He questions coming to the end of his plans.

You look at him slyly, “Are you sure you aren’t gay?”

He looks at you thinking that an interesting comment walking over wrapping his arms around you pulling you against him, “Well if I was I hardly think we would have impending parenthood love.” He says kissing your nose.

“I just never knew a straight guy who was so good at interior design.” You tease. He grins kissing you again, then once more, then a bit deeper then before wrapping his arms around you a bit further. You wrap your arms around his neck as you both start to passionately run your hands over one another. After another few moments, Tom sweeps you up into his arms carrying you over to the bed and laying you down before laying over you looking down into your eyes, admiring how beautiful you were just in awe of the fact that the woman he loved so much was carrying his baby inside of her. Sliding his fingers through your hair before cradling your head in his hands and slowly tasting your lips savoring the feel and warmth of them against his own.

He trails kisses down your face to your neck, chest, to your belly before resting his face against your abdomen, holding you tight as he closed his eyes just imagining the life inside that you had created together. You wrap your arms around him, gently running your fingers through his hair. This was a lot to take in, a huge change in your lives, but it didn’t feel so scary now. Realizing how much he really did love you, and wasn’t going to just abandon you to face everything alone. You smile closing your eyes just stroking his head holding him close.

You pace impatiently back and forth before sitting on the examination table again. But it isn’t long before you’re back on your feet pacing some more. Finally the door opened and the doctor stepped in. “Good afternoon Miss Garrison.”

“Yeah, Hi.” You step closer to him, “The nurse said that my test results came back on the phone that you wanted to see me. What is it? What’s going on?” You ask worriedly.

“I’m sorry, we didn’t mean to worry you. Actually everything looks very good, you checked out fine.” You pause starring at him.

“Really?” You really were expecting the worst. “What about my medical records? The scar tissue they said would make things difficult for me to even get pregnant?” The doctor motions for you to sit down before sitting on his stool beside you.

“Far less then what was first thought. You’ve had time to heal since your injuries, and things aren’t nearly as bad as they seemed before. I do have to ask why you haven’t seen a gynecologist regularly since you were hospitalized in LA.” The doctor asked.

“Well. After they told me, I just kind of assumed it wasn’t really necessary anymore. They said that the injuries made me . . . that I was barren.” You say looking down never having liked to talk about this, which was part of the reason you hadn’t seen a doctor. It was embarrassing to begin with, never mind the fact you had to keep revisiting what happened to you. “What about, . . . what about the baby?”

The doctor smiles, “Everything looks good Miss Garrison. Very healthy. Have you started the supplements and prenatal vitamins I prescribed for you?” You give a nod. “Your blood tests are showing that you are a little anemic right now but that’s to be expected. I’m going to put you on 30mg of Iron for now. Aside from that, everything checks out and looks great.”

You close your eyes and smile with a sigh of relief. “Thank God.” You were trying not to be so pessimistic and expect the worst but given your past history it was hard not to be a bit paranoid. “What about the nausea I get sometimes? Usually when I first wake up?”

“Morning sickness. It’s common for most women in the first trimester but it should get better.” You smile again and nod. “Are you with someone? Are you going to be coming to these appointments on your own?”

“For now. My boyfriend and I want to keep this quiet for a while, just to ourselves you know?” You say softly. “Right now, from the outside it just seems like I’m getting my yearly physical with a gynecologist. Don’t usually have company when you go in for that.”

“Well don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone and your covered under doctor patient confidentiality.” He reassures you.“Are their family complications? Is that the reason you don’t want anyone to know?” He questions trying to gauge if you needed help. You half laugh and shake your head.

“No nothing like that.” You pause a moment before realizing that this man was your doctor and you couldn’t really keep details like this from him. “Okay Doc, here’s the situation.” You explain to him everything from the beginning and include Tom’s position, his career and notoriety that made him and his entire life a target for social media gossip. Then you explain about your abusive ex finding you because of it, of the attack that took place and the injuries you sustained, which led to discovering you were pregnant in the first place. He makes notes in your chart understanding better and nods listening to everything you say. “So, that’s why we’re keeping things under wraps for now. Why I asked that my prescriptions be written under a different name instead of my actual name. We just wanted to kinda keep things private, especially . . . since we didn’t know how things were going to go. After all the damage they said was done to my insides. They told me that if by some miracle I did get pregnant I wouldn’t be able to carry to term.”

“I can understand that. And I am quite happy to report that such internal injuries were greatly exaggerated. The scarring is extensive but not obstructive. Of course if you kept seeing a doctor after your initial injuries they could have told you that much sooner once you healed.” He explains. “So, we will keep using the name that your prescriptions are written under and I’ll make sure your real name is removed from your records. All of the doctors and nurses here are very professional but we’ll do this anyway as a precaution.” You nod and smile standing as he stands as well shaking your hand. “If the morning sickness gets worse, or you have any questions you can call me directly.” He takes out his card and writes his cell number on the back before giving it to you. “Don’t worry, we’ll take good care of you.” You nod again and head out leaving the office.

As soon as you’re downstairs you dial the phone calling Tom to tell him the news knowing he was going to be ecstatic. He’d been anxious about the appointment since you’d gone in for tests two days ago and was waiting with his heart in his throat when they called wanting you to come back in. You still hadn’t told anyone, and to be honest you weren’t ready to share it yet. You still wanted it kept between you and Tom and no one else. “Tom?” You say when you hear him answer the phone. “Can you meet me for lunch after your meeting?”

You settled into the table at the café. Your mom and Ellen had only left yesterday but you felt their absence. A part of you felt bad for not telling them about the baby. Only a part. You liked having this little thing between you. A special little secret just you two.

Stephen helped with the sets at the Donmar. Though his real passion though was painting. You'd found an old illustration from the Jungle Book. You set your water down. "So you'll do it?"

"Of course. Anything for you. And Tom. He's been great. Plus it'll keep my mind of Mark."

"Something wrong?"

"He's in Scotland, rehearsing. Though I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel like he was avoiding me."

"I'm sorry, hun." You may your hand on your friend's.

He shrugs. "I knew this might happen But I'm fine with it. I got to love him while I could."

"I appreciate it. The Jungle Book is Tom's favorite tale from childhood. This means the world to me." 

"What means the world to you?"

You and Stephen look up at Tom. A smile breaks over your face. "Something special."

Stephen squeezes your hand. "I'll call you tomorrow." Tom and Stephen share a man half hug. Before Tom sits in the chair, he leans in and kisses you tenderly. His hand dropping to caress your stomach.

"How are my loves this afternoon?" He settles into the chair. "Have you ordered?"

"Not yet. I'm a tad queasy and wanted to wait for you."

The waitress comes for your order. Tom reaches across the table to take your hands. "So what's up, Kitten?"

You turn your palms up and take his hands. "I know I said I'd go with you to Canada next week but I think I should stay here." He starts to pull his hands away. "Listen before you get upset. I don't want to miss my counseling. Once I start missing, I'll be less likely to go. And there is the whole-" You mouth 'baby'. "-thing. I don't want to push my luck. Plus, I'm applying for citizenship."

His thumbs rub along the backs of your hands. "I don't like the thought of being at from you for three whole months."

"I don't either but the Tyler incident might give them pause."

"There is that." He sighs. "I'll call you everyday no matter how tired I am."

"And I'll answer no matter how tired I am. There's something else."

He raises his eyebrow. "Yes, love?"

"Would you sponsor my application should I need one?"

"Of course!"

Sitting on your couch reading a book the phone rings. You smile hearing Tom’s ringtone and seeing his picture on the screen. “Bit early for you there isn’t it?”

“Just got back from my run and don’t have to be on set for another hour.” He reports. “How are you feeling darling?”

“I’m fine. Still kinda kicking the morning sickness thing around. The doctor gave me Zofran in case it’s really bad.”

“What’s that?” He questions.

“Kind of like prescription strength Dramamine.” There’s a long pause, “Um. Sea sick medication?”

“Ah. I see.” Yet another long pause stretches out over the phone and you close your book knowing that the argument was going to start up again. “Darling, there’s a break in production next weekend. Thursday through Sunday.”

“Tom, we aren’t suppose to talk about this over the . . . .”

“We’ll, there isn’t much of a choice when you’re in London and I’m in Canada is there.” He says a bit more harshly then intended. You fall silent and close your eyes, “Your scan is on Thursday afternoon and I can fly in by morning and go with you.” There’s another long pause, “We could have a family dinner party Friday or Saturday evening to make the announcement. If we make the plans for it now there’s enough time for your mother to get booked to fly to London and I could see if I could get my sister to fly over for the occasion.” Yet another long pause stretches over the phone. “Darling, please say something.”

You take a breath, “Tom . . . I honestly don’t think that people are going to be as happy about this as you think they are.” You admit softly.

“Nonsense. The only ones that matter are the ones who are nearest and dearest to us, and I think they’ll be very happy.” He responds. “I’d rather, for once have the chance to tell my family a bit of good news before its broadcast all over creation and chewed through the gossip columns.” Another long pause eats up a minute on the phone. “Sweetheart, please. I’m not saying we have to go public with it or make any grand press conferences. Just my family, and yours. To tell them of our good fortune. You know we can trust them.”

“And if you go in with me for the sonogram?” You question softly.

“We can work it out.” He says instantly. “Are you ashamed of this?” He questions.

“No!” You exclaim instantly. Of course you weren’t.

“Neither am I. There’s no reason for us to hide away or sneak about like we are.” You sigh thinking about it knowing he’d been anxious to tell someone, and he had a point. You were going to start showing before too long and the fact that you were working now on a production at the Noel Coward theater wasn’t exactly going to allow you to hide from the world. “Darling, I’ll make all the arrangements. We’ll go together to get your scan and then we’ll have a quiet dinner party with just our families. You won’t have to do a thing, I promise.”

You were still very apprehensive about letting the word about but at the same time it felt like you were torturing poor Tom at this point not letting him tell anyone. He’d gone along with everything and put up with a lot, it was only fair to let him have his moment the way he wanted it. “Alright.” You say softly. You could practically hear the grin that swept Tom’s face with your answer.

“Wonderful! I’ll make some calls, and you call your mother and see about getting her booked into a flight, and we’ll go from there. Yes?” The tone in his voice is one of absolute excitement.

You smile a little and nod, “Okay.”

“I love you darling.” He says sincerely into the phone.

“I love you too. I miss you.”

When you hang up the phone to dial Stephen’s number. “Stephen? Hi. Do you think we’ll be done with the mural this week? Tom’s coming home next Thursday for the weekend from Canada.”

Of course you’d been staying in your own apartment since Tom left. But you had the keys to his house and permission from the gate to let you in whenever you wanted. So you and Stephen had been working on painting the scene that Tom had described in the nursery during lunch break, days off, and after work. It was almost finished and it looked absolutely wonderful. Very professional. And you hoped that it looked like what Tom had envisioned. You’d also been extremely careful not to breathe in pain fumes. As it was summer you kept the windows open and the room extremely well ventilated when working on it. Every since you found out you were pregnant you were very careful and mindful of everything. Your worst fear in the world was to do something foolish that might harm the baby.

You felt very nervous about letting the cat out of the bag like this, when you and Tom had been successfully keeping it quiet without anyone knowing. But he was right. It wasn’t exactly a secret that could stay hidden forever and he wanted to be the one to tell it. It was only fair.

You look at the sonogram and turn it over, then once more. “I don’t see it.”

Tom chuckles leaning over and putting it the proper way up. “He marked it out for you, see. Here’s the head, here’s a foot . . . . I think this is the heart.” He pauses, “Well maybe this is the heart.”

You look at him slyly, “You are so full of it, you can’t see it either.” He grins and kisses your nose.

“The next one will be clearer, once it gets some size.” He says handing it back to you. You stare at it again cocking your head.

“Like looking at a Rorschach Inkblot.” You say putting it back in the folder they gave you before leaning on the counter as Tom prepares lunch.

Tom checks his watch, “Your mother’s flight should be getting in soon. Hopefully she’ll have enough time to freshen up before the dinner party tonight.”

“Oh she’s all excited.” You say with a sigh. He arches a brow hearing the tone in your voice.

“Everything alright?” He questions.

“She has to suspect something Tom. Flying her out here at the drop of the hat. She probably thinks we’re getting married.” You say resting your head to your hand leaning your elbow on the counter.

“You think she’ll be upset at the actual announcement?” He says putting lunch on plates.

“No. I think she’ll be absolutely over the moon. She’s been holding her breath for a grandchild since I turned 18.” It was true, she’d been dropping hints the size of dog houses on your head the day you graduated high school. “I’m relatively sure she thought I was a lesbian for a good stretch of time because I didn’t really date anyone in college.”

“Well, then there’s no need to worry is there.” He says with a smile kissing your cheek before putting a plate in front of you sitting down next to you beginning to eat. You pick up your fork poking at your food slightly. “So if there’s no need to worry, why are you worrying?”

“How is your family going to react? Emma seemed to like me even though I made a complete ass out of myself with Jane at the last dinner party.” You say softly.

“I think they’ll be just as excited for us. I’m 33 darling, I imagine they were beginning to question my heterosexuality status too.” He admits. You roll your eyes looking at him. Absolutely no one seriously thought he was gay. He grinned knowing you saw through the fact he was just trying to make you feel better.

The doorbell rings, “Catering staff.” He says wiping his mouth on his napkin before getting up kissing your cheek on the way by. This was so weird. You were sort of from a blue collar background where as Tom’s family was definitely white collar. How could this possibly go south very quickly?

 

(Continued --> )


	7. Limelight - Chapter 7

You fidget nervously with silver covers over the plates. You could hear your mom and Tom's mom chatting and laughing. Luke had showed up with Ellen as well. That had been a laughing and crying surprise orchestrated by your love. The biggest surprise though was Stephen arriving for the dinner party WITH Luke.

Emma peeked her head in. "You ok?" You looked up and smiled. "Yea, just a little nervous. I'm not used to this kind of thing."

"Tom likes to go all out. He's big on family."

"I've noticed." A wave of nausea hits you. "Excuse me." You dash through the living room.  
"Shel?"

The bathroom door is closed. "Oh no. No. No. No." You knock on the door. "Emergency." Tom's father opens the door. "I'm so sorry, Mr. Hiddleston."

"It's alright, love." You shoo him out of the bathroom. Getting the door closed and locked, you make it toilet just in time. The porcelain feels cool against your face.

A soft knock at the door. "Kitten?"

"I'm fine, baby." You flush the toilet then rinse your mouth. Tom is waiting when you open the door. He hands you a hard candy.

"I found these in Canada." The wrapper has 'Preggy pop drops' printed on it. "They're supposed to help with the sickness."

"I'll give it a try." Everyone looks up as you walk in. "Can we please get this over with before I throw up again?"

"Alright."

The group moves to the dining room. "Shelia and I worked together on a surprise for you all. Go ahead and lift the trays."

In a wave, the family lifts the trays. You blindly reach for Tom's hand. His fingers wrap around your hand. His arm wraps around your waist when he feels you shaking.

Ellen's excited squeal joins your mom's crying. Emma jumps up and hugs you both. "I can't believe it."

Tom's dad holds up the sonogram printing. "What am I looking at?"

"Your grandchild."

He squints. "She's pregnant?"

Tom's mom looks at your mom. "Shelia, is your mother alright?"

You glance at Ellen comforting your mom. "She's fine. I kind of expected this." Tom squeezes your hand. "Are you alright?"

"Will you two be getting married?"

Tom clears his throat. "We haven't discussed marriage. Shelia is working on her citizenship. And I've got filming most of the rest of the year."

"And what about this baby?"

"The baby will be born before I start filming in Louisiana."

Your mom finally stands from her chair and pulls you into a fierce hug. "I'm so happy for you, peanut. I just don't have the words." She falls into tears again.

Tom's mom looks down at her hands. "My only objection is to the two of you not being married. But I know things are different from when I had you and your sisters." the excitement settles down and the meal goes off without a hitch.

"Tom, uh, Stephen and I have been working on a surprise for you. He didn't know it was for a nursery."

"Shel?"

You open the door to the nursery. The smell of baby powder overlays the smell of paint. You flip on the light. Tom's face lights up at the mural. He doesn't bother to stop the tears in his eyes. "Surprise."

"Oh, Kitten." He breathes. His arms are warm and strong. He lifts you up, crushing you to his chest, and spins you around. The kiss is sweet and full of love. His eyes are sparkling with joy and tears when he pulls away. Any regret at telling the families vanishes in his face.

"It's beautiful. You're beautiful." He leans down and kisses your stomach. "And you're beautiful." He cups your face and kisses you tenderly. "I love you."

Stephen clears his throat. "And on that note, Luke do you think you could give me a ride home?"

"Of course."

The family disperses to hotels. Tom drags a mattress in to the room. The two of cuddle under the blankets. His fingers combing through your hair. "I've never been happier than I am right now."

Tom opens an eye seeing that you were still wide awake and his hand starts rubbing your shoulder again. “What’s wrong?” He questions.

You sigh softly, “So what do you think is going to implode first? Twitter, Facebook, or Tumblr?”

“Don’t worry about that love. Gossip is always going to be there. Realistic fans who know they might never even have the chance to meet me will be glad that I’m happy. Then there are others that are just going to be jealous and angry and then move on to the next piece of eye candy that catches their fancy.” He says kissing your head.

Furrowing your brow you raise your head looking at him, “Hey, I’m supposed to be the cynical one.” You can’t help but smile. “Or am I starting to rub off on you?”

He grins mischievously wrapping his other arm around you, “Darling, you can rub all over me if you’d like.” You laugh sticking your tongue out at him playfully before he leans forward and captures it between his lips and stealing a kiss.

“It’s possible that your positivity is starting to affect me because I’m carrying your baby.” You tease.

He wraps his other arm around you, “If that’s the case I guess I’ll just have to keep you pregnant all the time won’t I?” Tom grins kissing you once, then again a bit more deeply than before. You smile up at him hardly able to believe you could love someone so much, even harder to believe that someone could love you so much. “So now that it’s painted, we can start ordering furniture and toys, yes?”

“Really?” You say arching a brow knowing how anxious he was about all this. “Only 12 weeks in and you already want to finish the nursery?”

“No, not finish. Just add on.” He says with a grin. You study him for a moment before smiling and shaking your head. “What?”

“You totally already ordered stuff didn’t you.” He smiles sheepishly. You shake your head and kiss him resting your hand to his face before sliding your fingers through his red locks.

“We also need to talk about your moving in. As soon as possible.” He says seriously.

“No.” That rejection came out a little faster than you meant it to.

“Why?” He questions his smile vanishing.

“Because, this is your house. Your house that you’re hardly ever in. I’m not going to take over your house like that.” You say seriously.

“But you’ll be here when I come home. And this is a gated community with security. I’d honestly feel better about your being here then living in that apartment on your own.” You sigh sitting up wrapping your arms around yourself. Tom sits up wrapping his arm around your waist resting his chin to your shoulder looking at you. “Would it make you uncomfortable living here with me because we aren’t married?”

“You know, I had a feeling that was going to start bugging you as soon as your mom said it.” You say with an irritated sigh. He furrows his brow not quite understanding why that would upset you. “I am not going to railroad you into a shot gun wedding just because I got pregnant.” You say wrapping your arms further around yourself turning away.

Tom slides closer to you turning towards you. “Where on earth is this coming from?” He questions seriously. “It never even crossed my mind that you would want that.”

“Good. Because I don’t.” You look at him, “This wasn’t intentional. I didn’t do it on purpose. I was willing to go straight into the doctors the day after they told me to have it taken care of.”

“Darling.” Tom says taking a breath, “You know full well I don’t like you talking like this. We want this baby, both of us. Don’t speak like it’s an unwanted pregnancy either of us is being forced into. A surprise one to be sure, but I never once regretted it or wished it didn’t happen.” He studies you for a moment before reaching over and wrapping an arm around you rubbing your shoulders. “So what prompted this?”

It was something that you had seen in a passing comment or two when you were still working together on the Coriolanus production. One of the less happy ones about You and Tom seeing each other mentioned that you were probably some kind of gold digger or opportunist that would get knocked up just so a classy guy like Tom would feel obligated to marry you. Then of course others latched on to it and it grew from there. Some bitter old woman whose blog was the byke or something or other.

“Hmmm.” He says reading your face, “Are we going to have to suspend your internet connection love? Because if it upsets you this much, I’m not certain I want you surfing it.”

“I haven’t read the hate stuff since the Coriolanus production closed.” You say seriously. “Yeah, the gossip does bother me sometimes, but . . .” You didn’t want to bring up again, or remind either of you what happened or how Tyler found you in the first place.

He rubs your back a bit, “Come here.” He says pulling you into his arms holding you close. “Talk is just that, talk. They don’t know anything about me or my real life other then what’s printed in newspapers and magazines and I can assure you that I do not tell them hardly anything about my personal life. I don’t put any stock in the gossip columns and neither should you. It’s just . . . elementary school play yard rubbish. Thanks to media it’s on a global scale, but we can deal with it the same way you deal with it when you’re a child. Just ignore it.” He kisses your cheek.

“You really have to leave tomorrow night?” You say looking at him.

“Filming resumes on Monday morning bright and early.” Reaching up he strokes your hair back from your face over your ear. “But it’s just a few more weeks. Then I’ll be home for a while love.” He promises. “But I’ll call you every day. So keep your phone handy.”

You mumble something he can’t quite make out and he dips his head slightly looking at you. “I’m going to be fat when you get back.”

He grins, “I hope so. I can’t wait to see it.” You give him a look. “Alright, if you’re that worried about it. Take a picture of you naked everyday, when you wake up or after you get out of the shower and send it to me. That way I can see the way you grow until I anxiously get to hold you and see you in person.” You smile playfully smacking his chest. He knew you weren’t going to take naked pictures of yourself for any reason. But he got you to smile and that was what he was aiming for. He chuckles and kisses your head holding you close.

The doorbell of your apartment rings and you call out, “Hold on! Just a minute.” You take off your gardening gloves and wiping the dirt from your face off the balcony. “Hold on, hold on.” Hurrying to the door you pull the bolt back on the door and open it. Your eyes going wide, “Oh, hello Bene . . . er Mr. Cumberbatch. Please come in.”

He and his girlfriend Sophie Hunter are standing on your doorstep and then come inside when you open the door a bit further. He smiles kissing your cheek, “Don’t be silly dear, no need to be so formal. Ben is quite sufficient.” Sophie is carrying a small flower pot with a miniature yellow rose plant.

“Tom said you liked roses. Is yellow a good color?” She asks handing it to you.

“Oh yes, I love all the colors.” You smile taking it, “Thank you. I’m sorry I’m such a mess, I was working on what I call a garden.” You close the door and walk over putting the plant down on the table. It was just a small 2’x5’ flower box but you certainly made use of it.

“I suppose the proper thing to do would have been to call first, but we were in the area and I’m afraid we didn’t have your number.” Benedict says sheepishly. For some reason, you didn’t by that for a minute and motioned for them to have a seat on the couch as you sit in the chair on the opposite side.

“Tom isn’t here though; he won’t be back from Canada for another week possibly two.” You say softly.

“Actually, we were coming by to see you.” Ben said. You looked at him suspiciously. “Umm . . . We were wondering if you’d like to go out to dinner with us tonight. Nothing fancy. Maybe the cinema afterward is you’re feeling up to it. Just to get out and away for an evening.”

You knew it. “Hmm.” You give a nod, “Tom asked you to come by and check on me didn’t he.”

“He’s worried about you Shelia.” Sophie said. “You haven’t really been out since the production at the Noel Coward closed.”

“I’m fine.” You say with a smile, “Really. The Donmar has another production coming up soon and they already have me on the roster for stage work. Everything’s fine.”

There’s a pause as Benedict and Sophie look at each other. “You also haven’t been to Tom’s house since he went back to Canada.”

“Well, he isn’t there. So there’s no reason for me to be there. He has a house keeper, she comes in and cleans twice a week.” They fall silent again as though they had been disarmed, but there was more to this then they were letting on. “What?”

“He was worried, because . . . well because . . . .” Sophie paused not certain if they should be intruding like this.

“Because of the argument you had with Emma a few days ago and the fact you haven’t been returning his phone calls.” You sigh leaning back in your chair resting your hands over your middle. You weren’t showing terribly yet but there was definitely a bump there.

“Did he tell you what it was about? It wasn’t just hormones or me flying off the handle.” You say in your defense.

“She just wanted to take you shopping, didn’t she?”

“For MATURINTY clothes.” You say throwing up your hands.

“Well,” Benedict starts, “You are pregnant darling.”

“Those clothes are meant to accentuate the fat belly, not hide it. I prefer to hide it.” You say in frustration crossing your arms.

“I would think they would be more comfortable to wear . . . .” He looks at Sophie, “Wouldn’t they?” She smiles a little and pats him on the shoulder.

“Go smoke on the balcony honey.” He was thankful for the escape feeling like he was just digging himself into a hole there was no way out of. He took the hint and stood up heading out through the kitchen onto the balcony closing the door behind. Sophie movies on the couch closer to you, “They don’t get it.”

You sigh resting your hand over your eyes a moment before looking at her, “I’m not ashamed. I’m really not, I just . . . .” You didn’t know what was wrong with you.

“You think people will treat you differently if they can actually see that you’re pregnant.” She says.

“YES!” Finally someone got it. “They’re already treating me differently, Tom treats me like I’m made of glass, . . . . and the Donmar has already said they’ll make allowances for my ‘condition’ and make sure I have someone shadowing me if I want maternity leave.”

“Shelia.” She leans over and takes your hands looking at you, “Everything is fine. It’s just for a little while. You have to think about you and the baby and what’s best for you. Yes people are going to treat you a little differently for a while, but that isn’t a bad thing. It honestly isn’t.” You sigh and look down. Sophie smiles a little, “You know Tom adores you. Every time we hear from him he gushes about you, and the baby.”

You smile a little, “I know.”

She squeezes your hands a little, “What if we go out shopping, not necessarily looking for maternity clothes, but just for comfortable things that will fit better? Hmm? We’ll even avoid pink and annoying pastels.” You weren’t sure if that would be a good idea after you had shut Tom’s sister down so hard. “I’ll talk to Emma. Don’t worry.”

“Not exactly ingratiating myself to his family am I.” You say softly.

“These things happen. Don’t worry. I imagine its stressful enough being here by yourself so much with Tom away. We’ll have a girl’s day out. Me, you, possibly Emma if she wants to join us.” She says with a smile. You give a reluctant nod and she smiles squeezing your hands again.

There was another reason why you hadn’t been returning phone calls, actually it was the same reason no one was getting in contact with you. You had shut your phone off and jammed it in a drawer before you and Emma even had the argument.

Someone, you didn’t know who, was calling you repeatedly under an unlisted or blocked number and just listening to you as you asked who was calling. At first you handled it like any other call and just assumed the call was dropped or someone realized they were dialing a wrong number and hanging up when they didn’t know who it was that answered. However the call kept coming, even after you’d let it go to voicemail. You would pick up and say hello and ask who it was but they wouldn’t answer and just breathe. And it soon expanded from one unlisted number to three different unlisted numbers that would call over and over and over again. No one had this number, Luke had opened the account under a dummy name and only Tom, your family, and certain members of his family had the number.

It had been going on for two days before it finally freaked you out enough you couldn’t deal with it anymore and shut off your phone throwing it in a drawer in the kitchen and leaving it there. You hadn’t told anyone, and you were actually afraid of opening the damn drawer. It was like something from a horror movie. You didn’t want to tell anyone, and certainly not Tom who was worried enough about you as it was. But calls were going unanswered and it always went directly to voicemail when it was turned off. Of course Tom was under the impression you were ignoring or avoiding him. You’d always answered when he called before, no matter what time of the day or night.

You were going to continue to keep it to yourself, it was just a stupid prank caller. Nothing to worry about really. But it was still quite unnerving when you lived alone and Tom was so far away.

You enjoyed yourself immensely and you'd even let Sophie and Emma talk you into some belly revealing shirts. Your belly was a developing a cute little bump.  
You open the door to your apartment, feeling light and airy. The morning sickness had finally passed. You pull up short. "Tom!"

He hugs you tightly. You hug back but when you start to pull away, he won't let go. He holds you tighter. "Tom?" His shoulders tremble. He drops to his knees and presses his face into your belly. He looks up at you, tears tracking his face.

"Don't you ever do this to me again." He stands and grabs your shoulders. "I've been worried sick about you. You haven't answered my calls or texts for almost 2 weeks."

Guilt twists your gut. "What are you doing here?"

He pulls you into his arms. "Guillermo knew I was worried about you. He rearranged shooting to give me a break."

"I'm sorry, Tom. I never meant to worry you." You drop to the couch.

"Where's your phone?"

"In the drawer."

"Why?" You shrug, not wanting to worry him. "My 16 week pregnant girlfriend has been ignoring me." He combs his fingers through his hair. "Answer me, Shelia."

You hug yourself, not really liking his tone. But you can't really blame him. His nostrils flare in agitation. He goes in to the bedroom.

"700 missed calls. 700! Not all from me." He stands over you, fuming, absolutely fit to be tied. "There's Ellen. Who's been calling me three times a day. Your mother. Who has threatened to move in here. Stephen. Luke. Emma. Myself. And this number." He rattles it off. "This number the most." He scrolls through. "Is that why you haven't been answering calls?"

You sigh. He flew all the way home because he was worried about you. "It started with a call. Then they were happening almost hourly. I turned the phone off because I was scared."

He sighs and sits next to you, taking both your hands in his.

"I know you're uncomfortable with being at my house when I'm not there but in light of this, I want you to move in."

"Tom-"

"No. Shelia. I don't think to have any idea how worried and scared I was." He cups your face in his hands. "If anything happened to you or the baby, I'd be gutted. I love you. And our baby."

You stare into his face. Selfish. "I've been so selfish. I just. I'm used to hiding." "You don't have to hide anymore. I'll do whatever it takes to protect you."

You sit looking at the monitor. "A boy?"

"A boy." The doctor points to the fetus's genitals. Tom squeezes your hand.

"A boy! We're having a boy!" He kisses you deeply. The baby kicks the sonogram wand. "Ok ok, my darling, I've gotta run. Flight leaves in two hours." He kisses you again. Emma's waiting to take you home. As you're in the car headed home, your new phone goes off. Luke had gotten you an encrypted line on Tom's plan. No one could find it.

"Oh my god. He tweeted it."

"What?"

"Emma, he tweeted the picture of the sonogram." Your head thumps back.

"It's not so bad. You just have to pick your battles. Just ignore them. I'll have one of Luke's people fix your settings so that the crazies can't contact you."

"Thanks, Emma. I just. I'm used to be alone and hiding. Being out in the open, it's just not in my comfort zone."

Standing on a step in the nursery you finish putting up a shelf for supplies next to the changing table. The only place in Tom’s house you felt comfortable spending time in was the nursery. There was still a lot to be done, and now that you knew you were expecting a boy there were certain bits and bobs you could add.

The cell phone started to ring and you put down your tools getting off the step and quickly pick it up answering it. “Hello darling.” Tom says, “How are you today?”

“I’m fat and unattractive.” You answer simply.

“Well that’s completely impossible.” You can hear him smiling and can’t help but smile yourself. “So my flight is due in Thursday night. Luke’s arranged to have me picked up and brought home.”

“Why did he do that? I can pick you up.” You say picking up the curtains that you’d finished sewing earlier that day.

“We don’t touch down until after midnight, love. You shouldn’t have to be out so late at night.” He says.

“Still not made of glass, Tom.” You say with a sigh.

“I know sweetheart, I just . . . . I want you to be safe. Both of you.” Of course he was concerned and you had picked up that he had been feeling a bit guilty that he’d been away for so long even though it was his job and he was cast long before the two of you were ever seeing each other.

“I know.” It was impossible to fault him for that. So many guys out there would have bolted once you came up pregnant. Even more still would have probably offered to pay for the abortion on the way out. You were extremely lucky, and you couldn’t deny that.

“Did you have another scan today? You didn’t send it to me.” He says.

“I know, the battery on my phone died. It wouldn’t send. I’ve had it on the charger since I got home, it should be able to send now.” You take the phone away from your ear a second before giving a nod, “Yup. I’ll send it to you as soon as we hang up.”

“What did the doctor say?” He questions. There’s a long pause as today was the first bit of news that there might have been a problem. “Shelia?”

“Uh, yeah. He said that everything looks good. Me and the baby are very healthy, good progress, excellent development, normal growth . . .”

Tom could tell you were dancing around something, “What is it?” He asks.

You pause again wishing that he hadn’t have asked and you could have just talked about it when he got home. Rubbing your head slightly you lean against the wall, “The doctor thinks that I might need . . . that the baby might need to be delivered by Caesarean.”

“What? Why? What’s wrong?” You can hear the worry in his voice.

“No, Tom. Nothing is wrong. We’re both fine. There’s just concern because of the scar tissue that there might be complications if I try to deliver naturally. They don’t want to take the risk.” You hear him sigh and then a pause. “Please don’t worry. C-sections are common place now. And this will work better anyway. We can actually schedule the day and time the baby is born, which with your work schedule is pretty handy.”

“Alright sweetheart.” He concedes.

“You sound tired.” You say softly.

“I am. It’s been a great run, and a wonderful experience. But I’m ready to come home now. I miss you.” He says gently.

You smile a little bit, “I miss you too.” You hesitated a moment knowing that it was going to sound silly but you had to say it, “I miss sleeping with your arms around me. When you rest your cheek against mine and your all stubbly from the day.”

He smiles, “I miss hearing the way you giggle in your sleep.”

“I do not!” You laugh.

“Yes you do. Sometimes, like someone told you a joke that you can’t keep yourself laughing from. Or maybe someone is tickling your feet, just around your little toe.” You blush a little covering your mouth with your hand to suppress a giggle not realizing he knew that was one of your most ticklish spots on your body.

You move to the rocking chair in the corner next to the window sitting down. “I miss the way you would kiss me just behind my ear when we settle in to sleep, and lace your fingers with mine over my chest.”

There’s a pause as the two of you just listen to each other’s breath for a moment, smiling softly. “I can’t wait to see you again my darling.” Tom says gently and you can hear the longing in his voice.

Tom hadn’t gotten in until almost 2am, and was extremely exhausted from his flight. However that didn’t stop him from wanting to go for a run first thing when he got up. While he was gone, his agency called and wanted him to come in to sign a few papers. He was a little irritated to be called away but had every intention of making it the shortest meeting ever so he could get back and spend time with you.

Getting out of the shower you dry off combing out your hair and twisting it up into a clip. Pinking them up you frown realizing you’d grabbed the wrong undergarments to change into. Your old bras didn’t fit very well right now considering your belly wasn’t the only thing that had swollen so large. Shaking your head you slip your head out looking around to make sure you weren’t streaking in front of anyone before sneaking out to the dresser and opening your drawer getting the right ones out and quickly going back into the bathroom. You start to pass the full length mirror but stop walking back.

“Oh lord.” Putting the undergarments down on the counter you stand looking at your naked body. Shaking your head in disbelief you turn to the side seeing how big your belly had gotten. It had been weeks since you had seen each other as he had to go back to finish filming Crimson Peak. What a horrible thing to come home and see. You sigh resting your hands on the large swell. “Like a beached whale.”

“You’re beautiful.” You jump hearing Tom’s voice reaching over and snatching the towel wrapping it around you turning and seeing him leaning against the doorway having been watching you for a few moments. You face blushes red in embarrassment. He smiles and walks over gently pulling the towel away and tossing it aside then turns you back to face the mirror. Standing behind you, he wraps his arms around your middle and rests his hands over yours holding you tight. “Even more gorgeous then when I left.” He whispers placing a tender kiss behind your ear, before resting his cheek to yours admiring you in the mirror.

“You don’t have to say such nice things to be Tom. I look like a dairy heifer.” You sigh leaning your head back against his shoulder. “You can be honest.”

“Hmm, alright.” He says turning you to face him as he takes your hands in his looking you over very seriously. You prepare yourself for the worst as you look at his eyes and he begins to nod. “Nope, definitely no denying it.”

“What?” You say cautiously.

“I think that we need to make a new rule. You aren’t allowed to wear clothes whenever we’re home.” You stare at him wide eyed a moment. He grins pulling you close, “You’re too beautiful to be covered up, I don’t want anything blocking my view.” Rolling your eyes slightly you giggle and he grins seeing that he’d made you smile. Wrapping his arms around you he leans down kissing you anxiously, having wanting to be able to do so for weeks. Kissing him back, you almost feel lightheaded not knowing how much you truly missed him, missed his kiss, missed his strong embrace until you were in his arms again. You kiss again, then once more, and then a third time before you both pause to catch your breath grinning against each others lips. You start to lean in to kiss him again, but he stops, “Are you feeling alright?” He asks softly. “I thought we’d go out to dinner tonight if you were feeling up to it.”

“Okay.” You say with a nod.

He smiles and kisses your cheek his hands rubbing your back. “Get dressed and I’ll go get changed.” Then he kisses your forehead and turns walking out of the bathroom closing the door to give you some privacy. Your smile fades a bit when he leaves. This was something that had started since before he’d gone back to Canada the last time. You look back into the mirror looking yourself over. He must have just been trying to be nice, because that’s the third time since he got home that it seemed like the kisses and hugs were going to go further only for things to stop cold and end with a kiss on your forehead. He said you were beautiful, but it felt like he didn’t want to have sex with you anymore. Even though you were still exercising and going to the gym, you didn’t feel attractive. You were pregnant, but were a fit pregnant. Picking up your clothes you pull them on glancing into the mirror one more time. You sigh shaking your head, “I wouldn’t want to sleep with that cow either.”

Twenty-one weeks pregnant and you could still rock a pair of hip-hugging jeans. The silky lavender shirt made your enlarged breasts look even bigger. And your little basketball belly barely stuck out. It wasn't unless Tom smoothed your shirt out and kissed your stomach that people really took notice. He couldn't keep his hands off your belly. And the baby answered each kiss and touch with a foot, fist or elbow.

Several people you'd met with Tom stopped to congratulate you. You smiled but you were frankly fucking sick of people touching your belly.

You sat at the table. "Tom, please stop drawing attention to my belly."

"I'm sorry. I'm just so proud of you and our boy."

You squirmed. "Please stop. I'm uncomfortable and insecure enough."

"About that. I heard what you called yourself."

You frowned into your water glass. "Are you going to lecture me again?"

"Christ, Shelia, I'm trying to be supportive and loving and you keep hamstringing me."

"You are going to lecture me."

"I know you're emotional and hormonal. I'm doing the best I can to be the best I can." He pushes his chair back. "I just wish you'd stop calling yourself fat or derogatory names. You're beautiful and you're carrying my son." His voice grew louder as his frustration did. You met his concern with an irritated frown. People at surrounding tables turned to glance. Which increased your unease.

"I'm not hungry anymore."

"You need to eat. You've barely touched your food."

"I want to go."

Tom sighed and wiped his mouth. Laying the napkin down, he leveled a glare at you. "I'm sorry to have upset you but you're upsetting me. I've only a few days in London and I'd like to spend them making love to you and lavishing your belly with as much affection as you can stand." He takes your hand, holding slightly tighter when you try to pull away. "Please. Relax. Crimson Peak is almost wrapped. We'll go to Tahiti and spend some time away from London and social media and nurseries and filming."

You frown at him for a moment longer but his eyes are pleading with you. Love me. Love yourself. Love our son. Stop being such an ass. Ok, he's not calling you an ass but now you feel like one. Shit. You're crying. Fucking hormones.

"Kitten." He gets up and comes around the table. He crouches and takes your face in his hands. 

"I'm sorry I'm just a fucking mess."

"Hush, love." He takes your face his hands. His thumbs smooth your lips. His soft lips kiss away your tears. Closing your eyes, you momentarily forget you're at a restaurant, surrounded by people.

"I love you so much, Tom. I don't want to fuck this up."

"You won't, Kitten. Shush."

A waiter clears his throat. "Everything alright, sir?"

"Yes, she merely got upset. Could we get the check please?"

"Of course, sir."

The blades of the ceiling fan spin lazily. The last tingling warmth of your orgasm radiates through you. Tom wraps his arm around you and spoons his body against your back. "God I have missed you." He nuzzles his face into your neck.

"I've missed you too." You lay your hand over his. He shown you how beautiful, sexy, desirable he still thought you were several times. Making you scream his name until you were hoarse. In a few more weeks, this would be your home. Tom and the baby your family. It didn't feel real. Even with him snoring softly behind you, it didn't feel real. God, you didn't want to pack again. And where would you put all your stuff? Sleep finally made your brain turn off just before sunrise.

The annoying sound of your phone ringing pulls you out of your comfortable blissful slumber and you reach over picking up your cell. With one eye open you see it’s your mother calling you. You press the button picking it up, “Hi mom. Did you forget the time difference again?” You yawn in a sleepy voice.

“Heather, Ellen is in the hospital.” Your eyes open wide as you sit up in bed.

“What? Why?”

“She had a headache that was getting worse and then when they did some tests they found out it was meningitis.” Your breath catches in your throat as you pull the covers back and stand up. Tom sleepily lifts his head feeling you move.

“Oh my God.” You start to pace. “How is she? Is she going to be alright?”

“Darling? What’s wrong?” Tom says sitting up looking at you in the darkness.

“They have her on meds and treatment, she’s in quarantine, they’ve given preventative medication to everyone she’s been in contact with.” There’s a pause and you can hear your mom choking back tears. “I knew you would want to know.”

You look at the clock, “I’m on a plane. Right now. I’ll be there soon.”

“Heather, don’t. You can’t risk it, not with the baby.” She says quickly.

“Mom! When I got hurt you and Ellen were right here. I’m coming back. Right now. I’ll call you when the flight touches down.” You hang up the phone not willing to argue about it further. You immediately go to the closet getting out a duffle bag and you start throwing clothes in it.

Tom reaches over turning on the light getting out of bed walking over to you, “Sweetheart, what’s going on?” He questions.

“Ellen, she’s sick. She’s in the hospital.”

The flight arrives the next evening and you take a cab directly to the hospital. After you explained the situation to Tom, he was wary of letting you come at all. However you made it quite clear that you were going to go no matter what. He had wanted to come with you but he had a meeting with his new director that couldn’t be put off. But as soon as that was done he wouldn’t be far behind you.

You find your mom and several others of your friends waiting in the waiting room. “Mom.” You hurry over as she stands and hugs you tight. “How is she?”

“She’s still with us. If they hadn't caught it in time, she'd already be gone.” She says with tears in her eyes, “We’re still waiting to hear what the doctor says, but they don’t think she’s contagious anymore.”

“Can we see her then?” You question.

“Not yet honey, but they’ll tell us soon.” She says softly. “How are you feeling? Is everything alright?”

“Yeah. I’m fine.” You smile a little before she hugs you again. You hadn’t seen her or Ellen since you and Tom had told them about the baby and she’d been worried. “Tom’s taking good care of me.” You say hugging her back.

Sitting in the double chair in the waiting room, you had pulled your legs up underneath you and were asleep with your coat pulled over you to keep warm. You hadn’t slept on the plane, and you hadn’t been to the hotel yet. You couldn’t bring yourself to leave the hospital until you got to see Ellen and talk to her.

Feeling a hand on your shoulder, your eyes open slowly as you look up to see your mom standing close. “Honey, the doctor says Ellen’s awake and you can see her. But just for a few minutes, she’s very tired.” You nod and quickly stand putting your coat aside, seeing the doctor waiting at the door.

Before going in, they put a germ mask and gloves on you not wanting to take any chances considering your condition. Going into the clean room you sit on the chair next to Ellen’s bed. Her eyes open and she smiles seeing you. “Hey bitch.” She says in a soft tired voice.

You can’t help but smile scooting closer. “I’m supposed to be the Drama Queen. You’re hogging my spotlight.” You keep your voice low not wanting to wake her or hurt her head.

“Had to find some way to get you to come see me.” She responds. “How long have you been here? You look like hell.”

“I flew in last night. You weren’t showing improvement until this morning. You scared the hell out of us girl.” Reaching up you quickly wipe the tears away from your eyes. She was going to be alright, but you’d been holding your breath since your mother first called scared that the worst was going to happen. “The doctor says that you’ll be up and about soon. As long as you behave and do what they tell you.”

“Puft. Where’s the fun in that?” She says sticking her tongue out at you. “Did you see my nurse? God he’s hot. With my luck he’s probably gay.”

You grin reaching up and wrapping your gloved hand around hers holding it tight. Even having almost died, she was still the same old Ellen.

“Miss Garrison.” You turn seeing the doctor standing at the door. They said you could see her for a few moments, but it seemed your extremely brief time was already up. “Get some rest goofball. I’ll see you again tomorrow.”

She nodded as you stand, “You better do the same. I see those black circles around your eyes when I wake up, it’s going to be my foot in your ass.” Leaning down you kiss her forehead through the mask before turning and leaving the hospital room.

You sit next to Ellen in the bed, not unlike she'd done with you. Tom sat in the chair dozing.

"The doctor said that when I'm done with this round of antibiotics I get to go home."

"I'm just glad it was bacterial."

"Me too." She sighs. "There's something I need to tell you."

You stiffen. "What?"

"It's nothing bad. I was going to call but I got sick."

You relax only slightly. "Ok."

Tom cracks open his eye and watches the two of you.

"You've met my friend Steve." You nod. "Well, he's not exactly my friend."

"I kinda figured that. He was the only other person aside from myself that looked like they'd die if you did."

"You were the other." You shrug. She'd been your rock for years. It was the truth. Well partially. You had Tom and the baby now. "Shelia. He's my husband."

You jerk. "What?"

"He asked me to marry him and we didn't want a long drawn out engagement so we did a court house ceremony. We'd just got back from our honeymoon."

Your mouth forms a silent 'O'. Tom makes a noise then stands and stretches. "I'm hungry. I'll go down to cafeteria and get us something." He leans across the bed and kisses your forehead. You close your eyes and enjoy the kiss. "Love you, Kitten." You watch him leave.

"Shel, this doesn't change anything. I'll still be there for you whenever you need it. For anything. Steve knows and understands." You try to process the information. "He's coming with me in October when the baby comes."

You take a deep breath. "I'm glad you're happy. You deserve it."

Steve knocks softly on the door frame as if on cue.

"Is it safe?" You and Ellen look at each other and laugh.

"You're safe. But know this. If you hurt her, I watch Discovery Investigation. No one will find the body."

"I wouldn't expect any less."

You try to slide out of the bed and can't quite do it. "Your little belly is so cute."

"I feel like a house."

"You look beautiful. Remember when my sister in law was pregnant? Now she was a house."  
You had to admit you we taking excellent care of yourself. It was paranoia. "Thank you." Steve helps you off the hospital bed. "I'm just sick of complete strangers thinking it's ok to walk up and touch me."

Steve's hand hovers over your belly. He closes his hand and pulls it back. "Have you settled on a name?"

"I'm shit at these things. That's a question for Tom."

"What's a question for me?"

"The baby's name."

"I was leaning towards Benjamin Thomas."

Ellen sits up. "Oh oh! Auntie Ellie can call him Benji! It's perfect."

Tom wraps his around your middle, resting his cheek on yours. "What do you say, Kitten?"

"Benjamin Thomas it is." You half turn to him. "Where's pregnant lady's food?"

"It was closed. They had some questionable looking over priced sandwiches but I thought I'd take you out to lunch."

"Sounds good." You kiss Ellen's cheek and leave her with her husband.

You stood in the airport. This sucked more than you can imagine. You hated leaving everyone you loved and returning to London alone. But Ellen was home with Steve and Tom had to get back to filming. Guillermo had been an absolute peach over this, giving Tom an extra three days to spend with you.

Tom suddenly turns to you. "Come with me."

"What?"

"Come with me to the set. We've got a two weeks left to film. You can come with me to LA to handle some business then we'll go to Tahiti."

"I don't know."

Tom takes your hands. "I hate the thought I'd you returning to London alone. I hate leaving you alone. At least with High Rise, I won't be so far away."

"Ok."

"Ok?"

"Ok." You smile up at him. His answering smile stole your breath away.

"That was far too easy. I had a whole speech prepared."

"I'd just be lonely and moving from my place to yours. This way I get to see you every day."

"Alright. Wait here. I'll transfer your ticket." He kisses you then bounces off. You look after him, noticing a couple of girls watching you.

Once Tom is well away, the girls that had been whispering and giggling seemed to elect one that was bold enough to walk over to you. “Hey, are you Shelia Garrison?”

Oh here we go. “Yes.” You answer simply looking in the direction Tom had disappeared in hoping to God he was going to come back soon.

“And that’s Tom Hiddleston, Right?” She said. You look at her a little wary before giving a nod. She turned back towards her friends giving them a sign that seemed to make them squeal like a heard of pigs. “So, you guys are together? Like, living together and stuff?”

“Maybe. I don’t know. I haven’t checked Tumbler or Facebook in a while.” A trite reply probably wasn’t the way to go, but at the same time you could feel a huge sense of panic starting to rise deep inside of you. “Excuse me.” You pick up your bag and start to retreat back to the next section of the waiting area.

Unfortunately the subtle ‘go away now’ hint wasn’t taken and she follows you. “So you guys are having a baby right? When is it due? What are you going to call him?”

“Uh. He’ll get here when he decides to get here.” Actually it would be the day you scheduled with your doctor but you definitely weren’t going to share those details with the population. You didn’t share any details with the public, you left it up to Tom to share what he wanted share while you tended to stay completely mum on the matter.

“Are you going to name him after Tom? Because that would be so cool.” She continued. You sat down in the chair in the corner and the girl plopped down right next to you. “You’re really pretty. Is it true you guys met while he was playing Coriolanus?”

“Traveling is really hard right now, could you maybe . . . . you know, go back and join your friends?” You suggest becoming more uncomfortable by the moment. You knew on occasion when Tom was out and about in public he got mobbed by fans, but you had spent your entire relationship in the limelight and you preferred it that way. Not anyone’s main focus.

“Oh they’re fine!” She says obviously very excited. “I like your shoes. Are they new?”

“If you go back to your friends now, I’ll send Tom over to you when he comes back.” You say quickly.

The girl suddenly send to realize she's made you uncomfortable. "Oh I'm so sorry." She tries to get your attention. "It's not so bad. Most of us fans are generally polite. We love Tom. We want him to be happy. And you've made him the happiest I've seen him since I became a fan." She starts to reach out to touch your hand then thinks better off it. "There are some crazies but most of us are super cool." She stands. "Anyway. Have a safe trip."

The girls giggle add their friend returns. You watch them out of the corner of your eye. "All taken care of, Kitten." He leans down and kisses your lips softly. You forget the girls in that moment. Their giggle is so loud. You look at then warily. He glances in the direction you're looking. "Did they bother you?"

You sigh. "No. In fact, she was very nice and polite. I just don't feel comfortable around strangers." This is going to take alot of getting used to.

Tom sits next to you. "I know, my darling. And you're doing marvelously. I'm so proud of you." The PA announces the first boarding call. "That's us."

He helps you to stand, subconsciously putting a hand on your belly.

On the flight to Canada, you fall asleep your head resting to Tom’s shoulder, holding hands your fingers laced together with his. He’s reading a script that his agency had sent to him to look over. He decided already he was probably going to pass on it as the story wasn’t interesting him very much.

Tom looks over at you and smiles leaning closer kissing your forehead gently. You hadn’t hardly slept since you left England to go see Ellen. Paying for a round trip ticket pretty much wiped out what little savings you had, but you couldn’t not go to her. She could have died, quickly and painfully.

Reaching over, he moves a stray strand of hair away from your eyes tucking it behind your ear, before gently resting his free hand on your belly, gently stroking it with his thumb. His favorite thing in the world was to feel the baby kick. It was fascinating, and exciting, and the most wonderful feeling experiencing the life that you had created together.

As he looked at you know, he couldn’t understand why you thought you were ugly. But he knew you grew up in California, probably close to LA where the one thing that was advocated most was being supermodel skinny. God forbid a woman was pregnant. You were never supper model skinny, but everything was in all the right places and your body was soft and pleasant and fit perfectly in his arms. He found you even more sexy now knowing that you were carrying his baby inside of you.

He smiles to himself remembering the day he took you to the Globe. You bright smile, the wide eyed wonder that sparkled in your eyes, the pure excitement and awe you experienced. He’d been there many times in his life, and seen many plays but it was never as fun and wonderful as the day he took you there for the first time. He wanted to do that again. Maybe not the globe but perhaps somewhere else. He noticed your fascination with the coliseum, and Italy was definitely a beautiful place. Perhaps after the baby arrived a trip to Rome was in order. He knew that you hadn’t traveled very much and there were so many places he wanted to take you, wanted to show you, and before long he’d have a son with the woman he loved more than anyone or anything. The three of you would be a family and could go on all sorts of adventures together.

High Rise was being filmed on location in Ireland, which was much closer then Canada. You would be able to come up and stay with him some of the time, provided you were feeling well enough and could travel that far. He gently leaned his head against yours closing his eyes just cherishing you. He never knew he could feel this way about anyone, but every since the two of you worked so closely together at the Domnar, he was in love from the start.

He looked at your left hand that rested across your middle imagining what it would look like with a beautiful diamond ring that he’d given you. That you wore proudly along with his name. Yet at the same time, something was holding him back from asking if you would wear it and take his name. If he asked you right now, you would assume that it was just because you were pregnant. He didn’t want that, and it wouldn’t be true. Even if you weren’t pregnant, he still wanted you to be his. Always and forever. Perhaps once the baby was born, you would stop thinking that he thought you were trapping him. He wished that thought had never been put out there, and that it never entered your mind.

He closed his eyes a soft smile to his lips, imagining how beautiful you would be in a satin and lace white dress, your hair done beautifully with flowers woven into it, a rhinestone tiara to hold your veil in place, and your hands wrapped around a large bouquet of roses and baby’s breath. He imagined hearing the music as you walked down the aisle approaching him, then the two of you holding hands as you made vows before your family and friends. It was such a lovely day dream that he hoped and prayed could be made real one day. God knows both your mother and his would be beyond thrilled. As happy as they were that they were getting a grandchild, he knew they wished that you’d been married first.

You stirred and whimpered slightly in your sleep, and he kissed your head tenderly and whispered “It’s alright my darling. You’re safe with me. You’ll always be safe with me.” Gently he kissed your ear and held your hand a little tighter as you settled back to sleep. He closed his eyes and sighed wishing he could take all the bad things that happened to you and make them disappear forever. When he was so far away from you in Canada, he had had many nightmares. Nightmares of that night he’d come to your flat finding you tied down, beaten and bleeding by that sadistic bastard. It was like a scene from a horror movie made flesh. What exactly was his intention for you wasn’t clear. But the thought of what would have happened had he not come when he had stung his heart.

What was infuriating was that aside from being deported back to the states, nothing had been done. It was like he had gotten away with it and probably laughing about it. At least when you were in England, you were safe. He couldn’t hurt you because he wasn’t allowed in the country anymore. But it didn’t feel like enough. There should have been some consequences for what he had done to you. Like being thrown in jail to rot for the rest of his miserable existence. Tom shook off those thoughts as they only upset him. It was clear there was nothing he could do about it except be thankful that maniac couldn’t get to you again.

The nursery was finished and looked absolutely marvelous. You’d done an exceptional job in his absence and had begun to sew small outfits for his son using material that you’d found with Jungle Book print. You’d made curtains and even several baby blankets. He was thankful and glad that you were happy about the baby coming too. He was proud of you for doing everything possible to keep both yourself and the baby healthy. Followed every single rule and bit of medical advice to the letter.

There were still a few hours before you would touch down in Canada. Closing his eyes he rested his cheek to your head holding your hand a little tighter, his free hand still resting on your swollen abdomen as he soon drifted off to sleep happier and more content than ever.

 

(Continued --> )


	8. Limelight - Chapter 8

It was very late when the two of you got settled into the hotel. Flying was always exhausting no matter what the circumstance, especially when you’re crossing time zones. The next morning Tom went for a run, took a shower, and got ready to go to the set. However he’d been a bit worried about you as your feet had swollen somewhat from not being able to lay down for a very long stretch of time.

He lay on the bed behind you gently massaging your lower back as you were large enough now that sleeping on your back tended to hurt a bit. It was more comfortable just to lie on your side. It felt wonderful to have him close and touching you, you’d missed being with him so very much. Opening an eye you see the time on the clock. “Tom.” You say in a sleepy voice reaching behind you and patting his arm, “Stop fussing over me and go to work. You’re going to be late.”

Tom gets closer and wraps his arm around you resting his cheek to yours hugging you tight, “Alright. But you have my number, and you have the number of the manager on set. If you need anything, anything at all don’t hesitate. Call immediately. Alright?”

“If you get moving and let me go back to sleep, chances are pretty good I’ll stay right here until you get back.” The last thing either of you needed was for him to start showing up late to work. That wasn’t going to gain you popularity points with anyone.

Resting his hand over your belly a moment he sighs not wanting to leave but he had to. “Okay, I’ll call you at lunch.” He kisses your cheek before leaning down and kissing your belly. Reaching over you he moves your cell phone two inches closer to you on the nightstand. You smiled a little at how much he was fussing over you. It was adorable. “Bye.” He kisses your cheek one more time before hopping up off the bed and getting his coat heading out.

A little while later you got up feeling much better then you had when you got in the night before and took your meds and vitamins before hopping into the shower. Once you’re dressed you decide that you wanted to get out for a while and stretch your legs. Obviously you didn’t have the option of going to the gym while you were here, but maybe walking around down town, grabbing something to eat would make up for it.

In the cab ride on the way into town, you’re phone rings and you smile picking it up. “So? Is it a gothic day or a naked day?” You ask.

“Already did the naked scenes love. Although if you’d like I can reenact them with you when I get back to the hotel tonight.” You can hear his mischievous grin through the phone. “How are you feeling love, better?”

“Yeah. Much better. I’m on my way into town right now. Thought I’d look around, get something to eat, maybe do a little shopping. I hadn’t really packed for a two week trip.”

“You’re going into town? By yourself?” He says with a frown.

“Oh hush. It’s Canada. People are overly nice here. It’s not like I’m going out to some field by myself, people will be around.” You point out. "Also I wanted to get some postcards to send to Mom and Ellen."

Tom grumbled slightly, “Alright. Just be careful. I don’t want either of you to get hurt. I would have preferred it if my pregnant girlfriend waited until I got back to go sightseeing. I don’t get off that late from shooting. There would have been time.”

“Yeah but the pregnant girlfriend is starving, and her paranoid ass needs to do some walking. I’m a big girl Tom, stop worrying so much.” You say with a smile shaking your head.

“Well. Since you’re going shopping, get some snacks and things to keep in the room in case you get hungry. Room service does exist there you know, all you need do is pick up the phone and order.” He points out. There’s another long pause. “You will be careful, won’t you?”

“Of course. I’ll be back at the hotel around 4 or 5. Before you even get back.” The cab pulls to a stop and you take money out of your purse to pay him. “I’m here, I gotta get going. Love you!”

“I love you too darling.” Hanging up you climb out of the cab to go exploring.

He realized he was probably worrying for nothing, you tended to live by yourself in London since before the two of you started going out, and since then you’d been living on your own while he was away. He knew you could take care of yourself. Shaking his head at himself he puts his phone away and heads over to the makeup trailer to get a touch up as lunch break was just about over.

You'd had lunch in a quiet café, chatting with Ellen. Apparently, you and Tom were the talk of social media again today. Someone had snuck a picture on the two of you on the plane. You had to admit it was adorable and sweet and lovely. You saved the picture and sent it to Tom. He'd get it as soon as filming wrapped for the day.  
The shopping trip was fantastic. You'd used the credit card to pick up a few things. Some maternity clothes, yoga pants, books and snacks.

The cab driver helped you carry everything in. You fix yourself a glass of water and walk into he bedroom. Perhaps you'd over done it because suddenly you feel exhausted.

A rapid knock startles you. You sigh. So much for a nap. A nervous looking kid knocks again then looks around.

"Who is it?"

"Ms. Garrison? I'm Devin. I work on the movie with Tom." You sigh again but unlock the door.

"If shooting was running late, he could have text me."

The kid shakes his head. "No, that's not why I'm here. There's been an accident on set."

"Wha-what?"

The world swam as the kid starts to explain. You really don't hear what he's saying. A panic bubble builds in your chest.

"Ms. Garrison? Ms. Garrison? Shit. You need to sit down. Tom will kill me if you get hurt." The kid helps you to a chair. You've gone white and started to shake. "Guillermo sent be to get you."

"What happened?"

"A piece of set collapsed. Tom and a couple extras were injured. They're at the hospital now." You nod, in a static daze.

Tom slowly opens his eyes. The light is way too bright and he squints. Covering his eyes with the back of his hand, he hisses at the sharp painful tug of the IV line.

You jerk awake from where you were sleeping in the chair. You sit forward and take his hand. "Tom?"

"Hey baby. What am I doing here?"

"There was an accident. You and a couple others got hurt."

"How badly?"

"A concussion. You'll have a faint scar on the back of your head. They want to keep you overnight for observation."

"I meant the others."

"A broken collarbone. Concussions. Cuts and bruises. Nothing to serious."

"Good." He seems to melt into the bed. He scoots over and pats the bed. It's awkward with your belly but you squeeze in.

He lays his hand on it. "I hope you weren't too scared." His thumb rubs back and forth.

You lay your head on the top of his. "Had a panic attack. Devin was pretty awesome."

Tom yawns and finches. "Can we turn out the light?" He turns on his side slightly to give you more room but also to snuggle closer.

"The nurse wanted to get your vitals when you woke. I'll get her and go to the bathroom."

He reluctantly let's you get out of the bed. You sniff back a sneak attack wave of tears. You hit the call button then slip from the room. Your anxiety had been running high since you got to the hospital. Things would be better when you got back to the room. Until then, you'd just have to bear it.

The nurse wasn't happy about Tom's instance that you slip in the bed with him but Tom worked his charm. You settle against him, resting your head on his shoulder. Tom's arm wraps around you, one hand resting on your belly. He kisses your forehead. "I love you, Kitten."  
You smile. "I love you, Thomas."

“Ouch! Be careful, darling. It’s tender.” Tom says flinching when you smooth the antibiotic ointment they’d given you at the hospital over his wound as gently as possible.

“I’m hardly even touching it. You just think I’m going to hurt you and flinch before I even apply it.” You shake your head, “Honestly. You can take a punch or a smack from your fellow cast members on camera because you think it looks better, but you get a real wound you go all girly on me. There. All done.” You put the cap back on the tube.

He reaches up touching his head, “Feels funny.” He says wrinkling his nose slightly.

“It has pain killer in it, it feels funny because it’s numbing the area.” You explain. “Come on, you big baby. We’re going to be late.” You say stand from the bed and pick up your jacket. Immediately Tom gets to his feet and holds it for you helping you put it on.

“Are you sure about this? You don’t have to come if you aren’t feeling up to it.” He takes your hand pulling you to face him. “Really, there’s a week left of shooting darling there’s plenty of time.”

You pat his chest slightly, “Nice try.” You kiss his cheek handing him his production cell phone. “Let’s go.” The two of you leave the hotel heading to the set.

When you get there, you stay well back remaining absolutely silent not wanting to get in anyone’s way or cause a problem. You sit in the corner watching as the Makeup people put on his wig and his makeup. He catches a glance of you out of the corner of his eyes seeing the small smile on your lips. “What’s that for?” He says with a grin of his own recognizing that smile and the thoughts that would be behind him.

“You look pretty hot in black hair and pale face. Ever think about going Goth full time?” You say playfully. He chuckles slightly as the makeup person tells him to lift his chin. You fall silent again not wanting to distract him or the other people working on the set.

A little while later, they set a chair for you to sit in so you could see and hear the scenes and you can’t take your eyes off of Tom. Watching the way he transformed from Tom into this sinister, gothic, brooding figure. If you didn’t know he was an actor you would swear he had a multiple personality disorder. To be able to become a completely different person from whom you actually are. It was amazing.

“Miss Garrison?” You look over to one of the interns, “The Kraft services table is back this way if you get hungry.”

You hold up a bottle of water and a handful of cookies. “Found it.” The intern smiled and nodded walking away. Maybe it was a super power only pregnant women have. The power to detect food within a 5 mile radius, to seek it out, and devour it whole before anyone notices you’d been on the hunt.

At lunch, Tom hurries over to you and leans down kissing your cheek. “So? What do you think?” He says with a smile.

“Truthfully?” His smile fades a little and he gives a cautious nod, “As hot as you look in that costume, your character is a complete dick.” Tom can’t help but laugh at your assessment.

“Excellent. Then it would seem I’m doing my job right. Lunch?” He asks.

“You even have to ask? Seriously?” He grins again taking your hands and kissing them before helping you stand from the chair wrapping his arm around you as the two of you head back to his trailer.

After lunch, you made the mistake of putting your head down for a moment on the couch in Tom’s trailer. It seemed within seconds you were fast asleep exhausted from the excitement of the morning. Considering he had introduced you to everyone, including the grips when there was a moment between shooting. It was a little embarrassing but you couldn’t help but smile at how excited he was about the baby.

Watching you sleep a few moments, he smiles and reaches out stroking the few stray strands of hair away from your face tucking them behind your ear before he leans down and kisses your cheek tenderly. Then he took his jacket and put it over you to keep you warm, and exits the trailer quietly so as not to disturb you heading back to set.

Even though you'd only been around for two weeks, cast and crew treated you like you belonged. Mia had taken to reading children's books to your belly between takes. And it became commonplace for you to nap in Tom's trailer in the afternoon.

The wrap party filled everyone with bittersweet joy. Drinking and laughing, it felt like the Coriolanus wrap party but on a much grander scale. You tried to keep your thoughts from what happened after but they kept getting pulled back.

Jim drops down next to you. "Why the long face, beautiful?" He half hugs you.

"You must be drunk, Jim."

"Drinking. Not. Drunk. So what's wrong?"

"Nothing, just thinking." You see Tom dragged back into the photo booth. Everyone wanted a picture with him. The golden boy. Mr. Congeniality.

Jim follows your gaze. "He's such a marvelous person."

"He is. He's saved my life."

Jim nods. "I can see that. You look tired."

"I am. But I want to wait for Tom."

"He won't be too much longer." Jim leans over and kisses your cheek.

You're hugged by a few production assistants and chatted up by Jessica and Charlie before Tom is finally able to break free.

"Having fun, darling?"

"Yes but I'm a little tired."

"Let me just say good bye to Guillermo and we'll go back to the hotel." He leans down and takes your lips. A deep, loving kiss full of longing and need. "I hope you're not too tired." His eyes hold yours. You bite your lip. He discretely caresses the side of your breast with the side of his finger. You sigh in anticipation of those hands doing so much more. Since you'd come to Canada, his sexual appetite had doubled. Not that you were complaining.

"No, baby. Definitely not too tired." He kisses you again, holding the end of your chin then disappears.

After the wrap party, you and Tom return to the hotel. It had been a long emotional day as it always was for the cast and crew of any production coming to an end. Tom had been extremely hands on for the majority of the evening, and there was no mistaking the way he looked at you. When he would stand behind you with his arms wrapped around you, he would kiss your neck and nuzzle your ear.

You hadn’t had sex in a while. He’d been away, Ellen had gotten sick, exhaustion seemed to follow you from London, to the US to Canada, and there was the added problem of your shape and size. You’d grown again, and it seemed like you grew bigger every day. The image that kept popping into your head was of Violet Beauregarde in Willy Wonka who turned into a blueberry. It was actually an image that woke you up at night.

Getting in the shower you wash from head to toe twice. When you come out, you dry your hair and comb it out before braiding it on either side. When you come out Tom is lying on the bed reading a script, propped against the pillows and the headboard wearing just his black track pants and no shirt.

A smile sweeps his face when he sees you come in and he instantly takes off his glasses putting them and the script aside standing from the bed. “There’s my beautiful girl.” He says with a smile reaching out taking your hands drawing you to him. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you into a deep kiss. Closing your eyes you anxiously return it. His kisses were always so wonderful and stole your breath from you. You’d missed him so much when he was away.

When his hands caressed down your back and squeezed your buttocks pressing his body to yours, you unconsciously tense your entire body becoming brittle. He pauses his affections and looks into your eyes. “What’s wrong darling?” He says releasing your backside and gently rubbing your arms. “Are you feeling alright?”

You stare into his eyes a moment before looking down. You could lie to him. You could say your back hurt, you were feeling nauseous, or even that you were just plain too tired. But you didn’t want to lie to him, you weren’t very good at it and you didn’t want him to feel as though you didn’t want him. You blush a little bit, “You don’t think it’s weird?” you whisper.

He furrows his brow, “What’s weird?”

You sigh putting your hands over the basketball sized belly that no one could ignore at this point. “Sort of, gets in the way a little, doesn’t it?” You look away again, “You really don’t seem like the chubby chaser type.”

A smile sweeps his face, “Darling, you are beyond lovely.” He kisses you softly before resting his hand on the swell of your belly slowly moving his hand over your abdomen. “I can’t wait to meet him.” He says softly as his smile grows a bit wider. After a moment he reaches down and sweeps you up into his arms easily. He was very tall and very thin but incredibly strong. He always had been. You smile wrapping your arms around his shoulders. “And if you were as ‘chubby’ as all that, then why can I still do this?” He says spinning you around once. You can’t help but giggle. He comes to a stop looking into your eyes before kissing you anxiously.

He was so wonderful, no matter what he could always figure out a way to make you smile and chase those insecurities and fears away. “I love you Thomas William Hiddleston.” You say softly.

“I love you my darling.” He says kissing your lips once more, then another, then again. Of course you wanted him, you always wanted him, and you will always want him. Breathing deeply he looks into your eyes silently asking permission to continue. You smile and give a quiet nod. His eyes light up with excitement as he kisses you yet again carrying you over to the bed and gently laying you down against the pillows before laying beside you.

"I love this nightgown. You know why?"

"Why?"

"Because it's so loose." He reaches up under the nightgown and draws your panties down to your knees. You wiggle your legs out the rest of the way. His hands feel slightly rough from the thin calluses he was building up, playing guitar. They rub down your legs as far as they will reach then back up. He watches your face contort in pleasure when his fingers part your moist folds and slip inside you.

"Yes..." His voice is almost breathless. His mouth hovers over yours. When he licks his lips, his tongue flicks over yours. Your hips buck. His chest heaves as he watches you. "Cum for me, Kitten." His thumb rubs your clit until you're gasping, fingers digging into your breast and his back. Your orgasm sweeps over you in a warm, numbing rush. He kisses you deeply then rolls you onto your side, facing away. He nuzzles into your neck. He lifts your leg up over his hip. In short, slow thrusts, he eases inside you. Gasping, you nearly cum again. Reaching around you, he rubs your clit, slick with your own juices. Finding a rhythm, he slides his arm under you and holds you by your breast. Breathless, he nips your shoulder. "God, I love you, Shelia."

Your hand clutches his closing your eyes tight hearing his whispers in your ear. He was so wonderful, how could you possibly be so incredibly lucky. His movements continue deep within you as you cry out and your body trembles in absolute pleasure.

“That’s my girl.” He whispers into your ear kissing your neck, then your shoulder his hips thrusting a bit faster as his arms clamp down tighter around you. Within seconds his body shutters as he burst deep within you resting his face to your neck as your bodies quiver against one another.

Breathing deeply, your bodies writhing against one another in the aftershocks his large strong hands move over you caressing you and holding your body tight against his. He withdraws from inside of you kissing your neck and shoulder and placing several kisses behind your ear. “I love you darling.” He says softly.

Turning your face back towards him, “I love you too” you whisper back breathlessly. He smiles touching your chin as he leans over kissing you deeply as your tongues touch and caress one another. His hands continue to pet all over your body before they come to rest over the swell of your abdomen. The same place they always ended up almost as if he was desperate to feel the life within you as you did. He was so anxious for the baby to arrive, so excited to be a father. You smile and turn over on your back so you can hold a bit closer to one another. Tom strokes your face gently looking down into your eyes with a smile before tasting your lips and wrapping his arm around you as you both snuggle in close.

“Get some rest love.” He kisses your cheek, “Our flight is tomorrow afternoon so we can sleep in as long as you want.”

“With you?” You ask as he had to be up, dressed, and gone before 6am every morning. He was always gone by the time you woke unless you went with him. In the mornings you tended to be zombish as it was and since coffee and caffeine was off the menu, when you started going with him to set it was like your body was moving but your brain was not engaged.

He smiles taking your hand and kissing your knuckles, fingers, then your palm. “Yes my darling, with me. As long as we wish.” He says kissing your cheek again before nuzzling your face resting his head to the pillow against yours. “You’re stuck, my arms aren’t going to let you go. Not ever.”

You can’t help but grin resting your hands over his embracing them to your body. You didn’t want to escape his embrace, never.

The following morning, Tom was the first to wake. He stretched a little then a smile swept his face as he found that you were indeed in his arms. You watched you for several moments, the peaceful way you were sleeping you looked like an angel. He reached up stroking your hair back from your face and leaned over gently kissing your lips ever so lightly so as not to wake you.

He never expected to find someone like you, and when you first caught his eye at the Donmar during Coriolanus, he never imagined in a million years how much he would grow to love and cherish you completely. When it was discovered you were pregnant, it was a shock at first, he had to admit. But it didn’t take long for him to warm to the idea of becoming a father. What was even more wondrous was that you were the mother of his child. The woman who held his heart, the woman that he loved more than life itself. There was no one else on earth that he would want to create a life with. A life conceived in love.

It was so exciting and he couldn’t wait for the baby to be born. He wanted to see him, to meet him, to hold him in his arms. Tom’s hand moved to rest over the swell of your abdomen were his son grew in safety and comfort. You had been so incredibly good about following every single medical direction and advice, you exercised every day, you took vitamins, and you were absolutely dedicated to doing what was best for the baby. Everything you could manage and more. He knew his son was safe, and healthy.

He moved down to the basketball sized swell and gently rested his face against it next to his hand closing his eyes, “Come soon, little one. I can’t wait to meet you in the flesh.” As though in response to Tom’s words, he felt a kick against his face, then another against his hand. He bright huge grin swept his face at the sensation of it. The baby was so strong and lively.

“He knows your voice.” You say softly. Tom lifts his head looking towards you his hand remaining on your abdomen.

“Does it hurt?” he questioned, “When he kicks so hard?”

“No. Not when he’s kicking against my stomach. When he starts kicking against my liver, bladder and spine it takes my breath away.” Opening your eyes you look down at him, “But even then, it’s . . . . it’s hard to describe. To have a living being inside of you.” The baby kicked again against Tom’s hand and he grinned again in excitement. “he seems rather lively today.”

Tom couldn’t help it; he was beyond in awe of this magical wondrous experience. The miracle that you had created together. Cupping your face he devours your lips anxiously so thankful you were in his life. Never was he happier in his life then holding his family in his arms. His beautiful Sheila, and his growing son Ben. Although, perhaps another name was in order. Benjamin seemed a bit . . . he didn’t know. He would like ‘William’ to be in his name somewhere. It covered so many things. Then his son would be named after him and other relatives on both sides. It was a family name after all.

“I love you so much Shelia.” He said a shine in his eyes as he looked at you in reverence, excitement in awe swept up in the moment completely. “Marry me.”

It seemed like time froze, everything stopped and you just stare at him wide eyed not breathing. “What?” You squeak.

“Marry me. Darling, nothing would please me more then to have you as my wife for the rest of our lives.” He repeated holding you in his arms as he looked down into your eyes with complete and utter sincerity.

However you weren’t sharing the same sentiment. It felt like your worst nightmare coming true. You were pregnant with his baby, and he was a proper English gentleman. Honorable, responsible, and trustworthy. Of course he was going to feel obligated to ‘do the right thing’ and marry you when you were having his baby.

Tom’s smile fades as he feels your entire body go brittle beneath his. You press your hand against his chest and push him off you sitting up on the edge of the bed. “Darling?” He says moving closer to put his hand on your waist but you stand from the bed.

“I . . . I need to shower.” You say in a monotone voice a little in shock, a little in horror. “Then we need to pack . . . so we don’t miss our flight.” You quickly retreated to the bathroom and closed the door pulling the lock. You’d taken a shower last night, but you were more than willing to take another if it let you escape.

Tom frowns and gets up walking to the bathroom door just looking at it his heart sinking. He had been so swept up in the moment he couldn’t help it. He just blurted it out. It was wrong, he did it all wrong. You deserved a much better proposal. Down on his knees before you, and a beautiful engagement ring to adorn your lovely finger. On top of that, he realized he managed to severely upset you. He closed his eyes thumping his head against the bathroom door. How could he have so monumentally screwed this up? Everything was going so well.

You took another shower scrubbing from head to toe. You said you were going to take a shower and you weren’t going to lie to him on top of everything else. When you came out of the shower you dressed and did your hair before packing up everything that belonged to the two of you in the bathroom. When you come out, Tom smiles at you knowing that you didn’t want to talk at this moment and he wasn’t going to press it and make things even worse. Perhaps it was better to pretend it didn’t happen at all for now.

“I should probably pop through the shower.” He said testing the waters. You give a nod and hand him back the shampoo and soap. He smiles a little and kisses your cheek feeling that you were still brittle when he came near you. It made his heart ache but he realized that perhaps it was his own fault. He smiles a little, “I’ll be out in two ticks.” He promised taking a set of clean close with him to change into, he disappears into the bathroom.

Your mind was a complete mess, your heart was getting in on the act too. Marry him? Was he out of his mind? As if you hadn’t caused enough trouble in his life already. In your mind you had been thinking about something for quite a while. Perhaps it would be best if you went home. Not to London but to your mothers. Have the baby there instead of staying around Tom making him feel guilty and obligated to take care of you and the baby. It was a horrible feeling, leeching off of someone. And that’s what it felt like you were doing. He was always taking of you, you rarely had a chance to take care of him.

Tears formed in your eyes as you folded your clothes and his clothes neatly putting them in your bags and suit case. You walked around the room opening all the drawers, looking under the bedroom, looking at the small cabinet that was meant to be a closet and made certain you didn’t leave anything.

Taking out your phone, you texted your mom. She would know what to do, and she had wanted you to come home for a while. She would be absolutely ecstatic to have you home and even more so if she were present for the baby’s birth. Even if it was a C-section. Ugh, C-section. Wasn’t that just going to be fun. But it was safer for the baby and you weren’t about to risk his life.

Of course you loved Tom. You loved him more than life itself. You loved him more than Shakespeare. You loved him more than your theater work. You weren’t going to put this burden on him. For him to ask him to marry you like this, . . . he had enough on his plate without feeling guilty about you, about all of this. You continued to text your mom.

~Mom. I know you’ve wanted me to come home back to the states since I moved to London, and I think you’re right. I think maybe I should come back for a while. Would it be alright if I stayed with you until I could get an apartment or something of my own?~

Maybe this was your chance. For once you could take care of him and you could ease his burden. Make things easier and better for him. He could concentrate on his work, he could have time to himself and not worry about what you’re doing or what drama you’re having, and all the other garbage he has to put up with. This was your chance to help him and make his life better for once.

It wasn’t even five minutes before your mom texted back,

~Yes! Yes of course! You can have your room back and everything. It’s made up as a guest room with a new bed and different décor but I think you’ll like it. There’s plenty of room. When will you be coming? Will Tom be coming with you?~

You close your eyes and take a breath that hurts your chest.

~No. And, I’m not going to tell him. As soon as the chance presents itself . . . I’ll be on a plane and come home. He won’t let me leave otherwise. Mom I have to leave, I have to come home to you. It’s too much, it’s all too much. It’s better if I just disappear for a while.~

There is a long pause before a text comes back,

~Oh honey. I’m sorry you’re so unhappy. We can talk about what's going on and upsetting you so when you get home. But I can’t wait to see you, I’m so excited. Ellen and your other friends will be too. We’ll get everything ready to welcome you hone! Hurry hurry! I love you XOXOXO~

The tears in your eyes keep blurring your vision:

~I love you too. XOXO~

You wait for the shower to kick on. Scrambling to get all your things into the suitcase. You lug the suitcase and your carry on outside and to the cab row for the extras leaving set.

"To the airport please." The driver nods and pops the truck. He takes your suitcase and places it in the back. Mia waves at your, smiling. You wave back half heartedly then get in.

Your stomach is in your throat, chest tight. Hot tears threaten to spill down your cheeks. You were doing the right thing, right? Why did it hurt so much? You twist your hands together.

"You alright, miss?" The driver looks at you in the rear-view mirror.

"I'm fine." He doesn't see the red light or the work truck as it t bones the cab. Your thrown to the side of the backseat. The cab goes spinning into the opposite direction traffic but the on-coming four by four can't stop in time and hits the car, spinning it back into the other lane. A third car tries to stop but fails, sandwiching the cab between it and the back of the work truck.

Tom comes out of the shower and dresses quickly. He'd had a moment of inspiration. He'd ask you in Tahiti. There were some beautiful sunsets off the ocean. He'd have Luke air mail him a ring until he could take you to pick out a proper.

"Kitten?" No answer. Your suitcase is gone. He throws open the door to the hotel room, panic sinking in. Mia nearly runs into you.

"Tom? What are you still doing here?"

"Wha-"

"I just saw Shelia leave in a cab. I thought you were with her."

"No. Dammit." He ducks into the room and grabs his suitcase. "Something wrong?"

"Blasted girl." He growls, quickly checking the room for everything. Mia and Tom hear the sirens.

Tom's sitting on the concourse, his head in his hands. His phone rings. A sigh of relief escapes him when he sees your number. He's tried to call you a hundred times and you're not answering or responding to texts. He hasn't cried but he's been damn close. He knew asking you to marry him was a mistake but he didn't think you'd run away.

"Oh thank you god. Where are you?"

"This Dave with Kingston EMS. We found phone in a car accident and your number is one of the ICE numbers."

"Where is Shelia?"

"Ms. Garrison is at Kingston General Hospital."

"I'm on my way."

Tom dials Ellen. "Hey Tommy boy!"

"Ellen. There's been an accident."

"What happened? Is Shelia ok? The baby?"

"I don't know. I'm on my way to the hospital now."

"Wasn't she with you?"

"No." His voice has a hysterical edge. "She ran away."

"She what?"

"I stupidly asked her to marry me. And she freaked out."

"Wait. How is that stupid? You don't want to marry her?"

"I do. I do! I love her. I just went about it all wrong." He swallows back tears and desperation. "I-"

"Hey, Tom. Breathe. Call me when you get to the hospital and know more. I'll call Shelia's mom and Steve. We'll be in the next flight. Into Toronto?"

"Yea." He hails a cab on autopilot. "Kingston General Hospital."

Tom looks through the windows into the NICU. Unabashedly crying as the nurses hooked his newborn son to a heart monitor and oxygen in an incubator, running an IV and a nasogastrial feeding tube. His heart is breaking and there is nothing he can do but watch.

A doctor walks up to him. "Mr. Hiddleston?"

"Yes?"

"Ms. Garrison is in recovery. She hasn't come out of anesthesia. We might keep her under for a day or two."

He nods. "Is there anyway I can see my son? Other than through the window."

The doctor looks over Tom's shoulder. "I'll see what I can do." Tom goes back to the window.

Tom sat in the waiting room with Ellen and Shelia’s mother having been exchanging notes on the circumstances around the accident. Her mother showed him the texts that she sent to her and the ones that were received back.

Could this really be happening? Could any of it really be happening? “All of this happened because I proposed to her. Suddenly, foolishly without thinking.” He said his eyes lowered to the ground. “I came close to losing both of them, . . . . I still might, they’re still both so fragile and weak.”

“Tom,” Ellen reaches over and covers his hand with hers, “It isn’t your fault. It isn’t Shelia’s fault either. It was an accident. Accidents happen; there is nothing you can do to prevent them.” She reassured him.

“How about using my head instead of letting my heart run rough shot over common sense. I knew I couldn’t ask her before the baby was born, I knew it would upset her . . . send her running. Which is exactly what it did.” He scoffs standing and pacing slightly.

Shelia’s mom sighed, “Tom. I love my daughter very much. I know she’s been through hell and back in the course of her young life. But I also know it’s made her paranoid, foolish, distrusting, skeptical, and flat out terrified.”

Tom blinks, “Terrified? Of what?”

“Of living. Every single time in her life since she was a little girl, whenever she was happy, really genuinely happy something would happen to cut it short. It happened enough times that eventually she started trying to push. If she was happy, she was terrified of how it was going to end and she pushed to make it happen sooner and get it over with.” She explained.

“But I’m not like that, I’m never going to betray or abandon her! I love her. I love her more than I ever thought it possible to love another human being.” He said in worry, anger, frustration, and heartbreak.

“You’re more alike then you realize.” Ellen says softly. Walking closer to him he looks at her, his eyes misty as he was trying not to let the tears fall. “You are very good at blaming yourself for things you have no control, no say over.” Reaching out she puts her hand on his shoulder, “Tom, Shelia loves you. She’s loved you since before Coriolanus even began. She’s been so completely happy and excited about the baby. How many pregnant ladies sew their newborn’s clothes, blankets, and curtains for the nursery?” There were tears in Ellen’s eyes as she looked away.

“What?” Tom asked seeing how upset she was.

“When she wakes up, and finds out that the baby was born premature and is on life support or . . .” She paused not wanting to even breathe the possibility “ . . . or worse . . . .she will blame herself completely in every single way, and . . . . I don’t know if she’ll ever come back from that.” Ellen said tears escaping her eyes. “She’s strong, you know that . . . . but there is always the last straw that breaks the camel’s back.”

“All because my absolutely idiotic blunder.” He said closing his eyes and shaking his head at his own stupidity.

Ellen studied him for several long moments, “Why did you?” Tom looked over at her, “Why did you ask her to marry you?”

That seemed like a pretty obvious question, “Because . . . I love her. I’ve loved her from the first time I saw her, before I even realized how much I loved her. I want her to marry me, to be my bride, and for us to have a family together. So we can be together always as husband and wife. Two people who love each other forever.” He looked away feeling confused and torn apart.

“Then you have to find a way to tell her that, to make her believe it.” Ellen says seriously. “She has a lot of strange ideas in her head knocking around that other people have put there. Pounded into her over and over.” She stepped closer to him, “She loves you Tom. Of course she does. With all of her heart, more than anyone else, more than anything. It’s what scares her the most.” She sighs, “It’s not fair, I know.”

Tom listened and mulled it all over in his mind when she stopped speaking. It was a lot to take in and a lot to consider. He sighed, “They’re going to keep her sedated. For now. I suppose until we know for sure one way or the other . . . .” His words trailed off not wanting to think about it. Reaching up he rubbed his eyes trying to choke back the tears. He couldn’t believe this, that things could be over before they even had a chance to begin.

After visiting hours, they shooed everyone out except Tom. They couldn’t have gotten him out of there if they tried to drag him. He refused to leave you, or his son. He sat beside your bed holding your hand tight between his gently stroking your wrist and forearm. There was a cut with a large bruise around it from where you had hit your head when the car was impacted and you were thrown against the wall. Apparently it looked much worse than it was.

“Darling.” He said gently after a while.”I’m sorry. I knew that you . . . .” He sighed. “I just love you so much. So very much my heart aches when I’m away from you. When I can’t see you, and hold you close. When I’m exhausted and should be sleeping I like awake staring at the empty space next to me, feeling cold and alone wishing you were there lying next to me.” He stared at your long delicate fingers. He remembered watching them as they quickly and skillfully moved over his costumes during Coriolanus, over his body as you washed and dressed him for each scene. Quickly and expertly making him look his best every night without fail. Raising your hand he kissed each finger, your knuckles and your palm before resting it to his face his eyes closed.

“I never expected to find someone like you. I thought later in my life, perhaps after I was in my 40’s in 10 years or so, focusing mainly on my career for now, I would find someone and start a family. I never looked at anyone seriously even though I took a woman out here and there, and then there was you.” His eyes opened as he looked up towards your face, reaching out gently resting his hand on your head as he leaned closer. “You bewitched me, you stole my heart away, it belongs to you.”

He closed his eyes and bowed his head down against your shoulder for several moments as tears slid down his face as he felt a knot in his heart. “I suppose there are people who would say I was pathetic. For loving a woman so much he’s more than willing to make an ass out of himself.” He opened his eyes raising his head looking at you. “There were those that advised me to walk away from you so many times. Then when we found out you were pregnant, there was panic that prompted people to try and convince me to pay for an abortion and then pay you off to keep the secret. Just proving how much they didn’t know you.” He smiled a little stroking your head gently. “You’re too proud. To honorable for any of that.” He closed his eyes as his lip quivered slightly, “But most of all . . . you loved me too. If it’s what I wanted . . . you would have done it immediately without question or hesitation.” He could hardly breathe holding your hand tighter in his.

He leaned closer still, “Oh sweetheart, is it any wonder that I want you to be my wife? That I want us to be together forever? To be a family, to make a life for each other, to love one another no matter what? I found you, I found the love of my life and I never want to let you go.” He could hardly form words, his eyes full of tears, his throat tight as he tried to push it down and keep his composure.

“You don’t have to run my love.” He whispered, “I know you were leaving and going to your mother’s because you think you’re a burden, a hindrance, that you complicate my life. But how to I make you understand, you ARE my life?”

He took several breaths to calm himself down, reaching up and drying the tears from his face. It seemed like you spent a lot of time in hospitals. First when you were attacked by Tyler. That bastard. Then when he got hurt on the set of Crimson Peak, and now this.

Tom takes your hand in his again breathing slowly. “Ben is beautiful.” He whispers. “He’s so small. But he’s so very beautiful my darling. They said that he didn’t sustain any injuries from the crash. You took it all, your body . . . your body protected him. They said you curled up in a ball around yourself after the first hit protecting your stomach. The said it was probably why you were hurt so much.” His eyes were full of tears again, “Even when you were in pain and scared, then even when you were unconscious, you were protecting our son.” He had no words for that.

He took several deep breaths before looking at you leaning closer resting his hand to your head whispering in your ear, “I love you Shelia. Every part of me, my heart, my soul, my mind, every ounce of me from the ground up . . . . loves you. I want you for my wife, darling. I will do anything it takes, anything I must do to make you mine. To protect you, and take care of you always.” He leans forward and kisses your lips ever so gently. “I love you.”

Everyday Ben grows stronger. Being in the incubator, Tom can't hold him in anything other than his hands. He takes pictures and videos.  
He's in the NICU with the baby when you finally wake up. "Mr. Hiddleston. You're needed in ICU. It's Ben's mother."

A bubble panic forms in his chest as he makes his way to your room. The nurse catches you outside the room, hearing your screaming. "I thought she wasn't supposed to wake up until later. What's wrong?"

"Panic attack. She came out of anesthesia fighting then she realized the baby was gone and has been screaming since. We've sedated her but drugs don't work instantly."

"I'll talk to her."

Your eyes are wide in panic. They've strapped your wrists to the sides of the bed. "Tom! What's going on. Where's the baby?"

"Shelia. You were in a car accident. When you ran away from me." He can't keep the hurt out of his voice. "Ben is in an incubator. He's small but strong."

"I thought-" You hold your hands up, straining on the straps. You can't even vocalize what you thought. Tom carefully unbuckles your wrists and hugs you as best he can.

"Kitten, he's wonderful." Tom pulls the chair up as close as he can to the bed. "They gave you medicine to put you to sleep. I'll show you pictures until you fall asleep. And when you wake up, we'll talk about what happened."

He scrolls through all the pictures he's taken and shows you the videos. Before long, you're back asleep. Ellen knocks softly on the door jam. "I heard she woke up. Her mom is finally sleeping at the hotel."

"I'm going to my hotel to shower. If she wakes up, call me." Tom hugs Ellen then tighter until his face is buried into her hair. His body shakes with the sobs.

Tom brings in a vase of flowers and sits them on the beside table. "I'm glad your awake." 

"I am too. I need to talk to you."

Tom pulls the chair up and laces his fingers with yours. "Go ahead, Kitten. Then I'll tell you my news."

"When I get out of the hospital, I'm going to stay with my mom."

"What?" He pulls his hand away.

"You're supposed to be in Tahiti. Relaxing. Not worrying over me."

Tom stands. All the anger and frustration finally breaks.

"No. WE'RE supposed to be in Tahiti. You and I. Instead. My pregnant girlfriend ran away from me when I asked her to marry me. Because she's laboring under the delusion that she's a burden. Get this through your head, Shelia Garrison. I LOVE YOU. We have a son together. Benjamin Thomas Hiddleston. And I WANT to marry you. Not out of obligation but out of love."

He stands. "Your mother and I have already spoken. She's coming to live with us until you're well enough to take care of yourself and Ben. Once Ben comes home, we will announce our engagement. Because despite you fighting me every single step of the way, I want you to be my wife."

"Tom-"

"Shut up. I've been here every day. And if you ever had any doubt that I want you, all of you, that should get rid of them. My father has hired an air ambulance to take you and Ben back to London." He angrily shoves his fingers through his hair then jams his hands in his pockets. "I've got business in L.A. then." He sighs. "Then I'm going to Tahiti for a few days. I was going to come straight back but after what you just said, I really need a break from you." He looks away from the shocked look on your face. "Maybe your mom and Ellen can talk some sense into you."

Ellen shows you a picture of Ben that the nurses took with her phone. "Shel. I've got something to say. And since I'm going home tomorrow, I'm just going to say it." You look at her, waiting. "You're being a fucking idiot. Tom adores you. Not out of obligation because he knocked you up. He loves you. And Ben. He was amazing while you were out. He spent every day, all day here." Steve knocks on the door jam. "You have a chance to be happy. You deserve it. So stop fucking it up." She kisses your forehead. First Tom. Then your mom. Now Ellen. Maybe they were right.

You and Ben were settled into the hospital. The usual suspects made their rounds. Ben and Sophie, Emma and her boyfriend, Tom's mom, Luke and Mark, Tom's dad. Tom was in and out. High Rise filming would be starting soon.

You look at the picture Tom is showing you. "I wanted to explain to you before you jump to conclusions. While I was there, so was Jane. I think she thought she could seduce me. We kept the accident out of social media. So she didn't know. She tried but I did nothing." You swallow. You wouldn't have been surprised if he had. You'd been horrible. And stupid and crazy.

Tom crawls into the bed with you. The private hospital bed was bigger than a regular bed but not by much. He was still careful when he touched you. He leans his head on yours. "I hate that book."

"What?"

"High Rise. I can't picture you eating a fucking dog."

"Kitten, it won't be a real dog."

You sigh and snuggle as best you could. They were starting to ween you off the pain meds. Maybe you were a bit delirious. "Ask me again."

He starts to ask what but realizes what you're saying.

Tom takes your chin in his hand. "Shelia, will you marry me?"

"Yes." He kisses you passionately.

"Get better. Get better so I can make love to my wife to be."

Finally the day came when Benjamin was able to be brought out of the incubator and you were able to hold him in your arms. He was so small, but so incredibly beautiful. It was hard to believe that you and Tom had created this perfect little life together. You sat holding him close slowly rocking back and forth in the rocking chair in the hospital room unable to take your eyes away from him as he drank hungrily.

On the one hand you were so happy to finally be able to hold your baby in your arms. He was strong, he was healthy, and he was completely perfect in every way. On the other hand, there was a twist in your heart that the milk he drank wasn’t yours. It was donor milk because premature babies had to have human milk so they got the nutrition they desperately needed. Because of the accident and whatever else was the result of injuries you had sustained earlier in your life, your milk had dried up shortly after Ben was born. You never got the chance to feed him yourself. The doctor even explained that the chances were good even if you hadn’t been in the accident and had carried to term it wouldn’t have made any difference. It wasn’t really any kind of comfort. But thank God the resources were available to get him what he needed to be healthy and strong.

Your mom comes in carrying several bags with her and a grin sweeps her face seeing you holding her grandson. She puts down her bags before walking over and kissing your head before anxiously looking at Benjamin, “He looks so wonderful, honey.” She smiles leaning down touching his small delicate fingers, “Hello Ben. Hi there.” Then she made some strange sounding noises that made you cringe.

“Mom, please don’t talk baby talk to him. You can do that cutesy voice you do, but no gibberish.” You say softly not wanting to speak to loudly for the baby.

“Sorry honey.” She apologizes as both you and Tom had asked her not to do that before. “I got you some things.” She picks up the bags bringing them closer sitting in the other chair. “Some of those cookies that you and Tom like to eat with your coffee and tea.” She says taking out the box putting it aside. “And I got you some Vitamin E cream and some Coco Butter, for your Cesarean scar and whatever other marks from the accident. I didn’t know which one was better so I just got both.” You smile a little shaking your head looking down at Benjamin continuing to rock gently. “And some other odds and ends you needed. And,” She takes out a plush super soft teddy bear, “I saw it and I knew it was for my grandson. And look.” She shows you the tag and you giggle reading ‘Hello! My name is Tom!’

“Didn’t have one that said ‘daddy’ huh?” You question.

Your mom can see in your eyes something was upsetting you. “Heather, what’s wrong? You’ve been in such good spirits these past few weeks. You’ve been healing, Ben is healthy and growing stronger every day, you and Tom are engaged and we’ve started plans for the wedding. What’s wrong?”

You sigh not raising your eyes from your small son. “I just wish I could do more for him. Be everything he needs. Like a mom is supposed to be. Like you were for me.”

“Honey, you are. He has a mother and father who love him very much and are doing everything humanly possible to see he has everything he needs. What’s more his parents love each other and are going to raise him together. Not many kids can say that these days.” She reassures you.

“Provided his mother can be less of a whining neurotic *bitch*.” You mouth the last word not wanting to use bad language around your little one. “I was worried about stressing Tom out and being a burden on him, which actually made him more stressed out . . . . and burdened him which is exactly what I didn’t want to do.” You roll your eyes at your utter stupidity.

“Well. It would help if he wasn’t running around on you when he got upset with how you were acting . . . .” She began.

“Mom!” You say cutting her off, “I told you that entire thing was complete bull. He’s not even friends with Jane anymore, he just sort of tolerates her after the stunt she pulled about bad mouthing me and leaking my information all over the internet, why would he run off to Tahiti and ‘secretly’ marry her out of the blue. He didn’t do anything and was simply being civil to her despite her constant attempts to catch him like he’s a fish in a net.”

“I’m just saying, it stands to reason that where there’s smoke there’s fire and you should be careful.” She stood picking up the things that she had brought putting them back in the bags.

“There’s no smoke! Just because Tyler, and Jason, and Dad were all bastards doesn’t mean that Tom is.” You say taking a breath looking down at Ben who was almost finished eating. “Tom’s going to be back from Ireland on Thursday. He’ll be home a few days which means you can have a break.” Or at least give you a break, she was starting to drive you crazy. “We’re supposed to talk to the doctor about when we can take Ben home.”

“It shouldn’t be too much longer, he’s doing so well.” She smiles, “And I can’t wait to get some good pictures outside a hospital setting with wires and tubes all over the place.”

“I’m so sick of this place, I’ll be happy when we all get out of here.” Leaning down you place a soft gentle kiss to Ben’s little head holding him close. “I can’t wait to be home again.”

Tom gently lays Ben down in the circular crib. He made sure his tiny little boy lay on his side. You watch from the doorway, absolutely in love with his man. How could you have been so stupid?

You close the door behind him carefully. You accidentally turn wrong and it sends pain shooting through your abdomen. You gasp and grab the wall. "Kitten?"

"I'm ok. Just moved wrong."

He helps you to the couch. "The nurse will be here in the morning around 8. My flight back to Ireland leaves at 10. I hope she's here before I have to leave you."

"I can call Mark."

"Are you sure he's ok with that?"

You laugh despite the ache it causes. "Are you kidding, honey? He's practically having kittens at being able to help me with Ben."

"Alright." He sits next to you, holding you carefully. "Your mother was very disappointed at you and Ben not going to the airport. She really did not want to go home."

"Oh but she had to. I love my mom, but she can drive me batshit. She has no filter and thinks she's telling me the things I want to hear but she's not actually being supportive."

Tom slides off the couch to kneel in front of you. "You said yes once. I want to go to Ireland knowing you are well and truly my Bride to be."

"Thomas."

He pulls a ring from his pocket. It's a pink diamond solitaire like you'd shown interest when the pair of you ring shopped online. He takes your hand and steadily places the ring on your finger. "Shelia Garrison, will you do me the honor of being my wife?"

The realization sinks in. He's doing this because he loves you. Not because of any obligation or burden. The words you'd spit at your mother about Tyler and Jason and your own father came back to hit you in the stomach. Tom wasn't them. He loves you. He loves Ben. He's been amazingly wonderful when he could have cut and run. And probably should have. You can barely breath but you manage a yes. He springs up and takes your mouth passionately, cupping the side of your face. When you were finally able to breath, he's babbling a mile a minute. He leans over and takes your lips again. Love and joy filling him to the point he could explode.

You want so badly to make love to him but you're still in a great deal of pain. It would be another month or so before you could without pain.

 

(Continued --> )


	9. Limelight - Chapter 9

Sitting on the couch in the living room you can hear Tom stifle a laugh on the other end of the phone line. “Tooooommmm!” You find yourself whining covering your face with your hand. Tom is in his hotel room in Ireland lying on his bed leaning back against the headboard his hand over his mouth trying to stay quiet. “It’s not funny!”

Tom can’t help but chuckle, “Alright. You’re right. I’m sorry.” He says clearing his throat trying to remain serious. But it isn’t long before a smile sweeps his face again. “It is quite funny.”

“Your mom and sister are driving me absolutely nuts, and Sophie actually came with them this morning.” You explain.

“Oh darling, they just want to help make it our perfect day. It is our wedding after all.”

You just stare wide eyed in silence hearing him say that. “Tom . . . they brought napkin swatches this morning. SWATCHES of NAPKINS.” He busts up laughing and you sigh shaking your head. “You suck.”

“It’s alright; they’re just excited that’s all. Filming wraps next weekend and then I’ll be home. I can run interference for you a little bit.” He promises. “I got the pictures of you and Ben this morning.”

“Did you like them?” You question not sure what he would think.

“I adore them, they’re absolutely beautiful.” He says with a soft smile having immediately showed them to everyone on set. “And the fact that Ben is allowed outside of the house now, I’m so happy sweetheart.”

You smile a little having been beyond thankful for that too. “The doctor says he’s exceeding expectations. His immune system is very strong, and his growth has all been normal. He’s about the size he would have been if I’d carried him to term.”

There was so much the two of you were thankful for, things could have gone very differently between the accident and everything else that seemed to be falling apart before. But somehow, everything turned out well. “And how’s mommy doing?” He questions.

“Doing fine.” You answer having been in for your check-up as well. “All healed up for the most part. Vigorously trying to work away the scars and stretch marks left behind with the creams mom got me.” There’s a pause on the phone causing you to cross your arms. “What?”

“Umm . . . what else did he say about . . . things?” He questioned.

You smile and blush slightly. He’d been very anxious the last few times he’d been home but you just hadn’t been up to it, and neither of you wanted to risk sex to soon. “The doctor says I’m perfectly physically fit and healthy for ‘extra curricular activities’. Apparently all the working out and healthy diet and vitamins I took before Ben was born really helped recovery. And the pain is almost completely gone, and Tylenol takes care of the rest.” You could almost feel his eyes light up accompanied by the excited grin at the news.

“Oh lord,” He says rubbing his eyes slightly, “This is going to be the longest week of my life. I’d rather hop on a plane and came home to you this moment. If I left now I could be there in a couple of hours.” He suggests.

“You could. But I don’t think nookie is a going to be a viable excuse to leave work.” You say playfully. “I’m not going anywhere Tom, I’ll be here when you get back.”

“Promise?” He questions.

You smile a little, “Promise.”

News of the engagement spreads fast. Social media explodes. Fangirls weep. Tumblr actually crashes. In the meantime, Emma, Tom's mom, Sophie and even Ellen and your mom via Skype have driven you bonkers with all the little details of wedding planning.

You stand in the dressing room looking at the mess of white satin and lace. "Oh for fucks sake."

"Did you say something, Shelia?"

"No." You sigh heavily and open the door. Stephen tries to stifle a bubbly smile that transforms into a laugh. "Fuck. You. Just fuck you."

"Feel better?"

"No. I feel like a marshmallow threw up on me."

"Come on out." You gather the ends and stomp out into the viewing room. There are ohs and ahs. The chittering between everyone begins.

"I hate it. I feel like a cloud rolled in glitter."

"You look lovely."

Stephen speaks up. "She looks miserable."

Emma pipes in. "And uncomfortable."

You turn to the consultant. "Less. Less is more. Sweetheart neckline. Mid length train. No ballgowns."

He smiles. "I have just the dress."

You trudge back to the dressing room and shed the dress. Your phone goes off. 

Opening the text, it's a picture of Ben and Tom laying on the floor. He has his father's smile. Your heart soars. How on earth did you get so lucky? You text back. 'There's my handsome men.'

'How's it going?'

'I feel like a hostile dress up doll.'

You can almost hear his ehehehehe. 'How many dresses?'

'Twenty. I've seen more white fabric today than a Puff Daddy White Party'  
The door opens and the consultant brings in the dress bag. He unzips it and takes the dress. A lung full of air escapes you. As a seamstress, you admire the craftsmanship and attention to detail.

"So what do we think?"

"Put it on me."

Tom closes the door carefully behind him. You'd been teasing each other all day and he was about to burst. The week back from High Rise has been so busy with wedding planning that you barely had time to think let alone time to make love to each other.

He stands in the doorway of the bedroom, watching your legs swing back and forth. You're laying on your stomach reading a book. The panties you wear have ridden up just a bit, giving him a glimpse of your labia. He pulls the shirt over his head and drops it on the floor. He unbuttons the jeans and slides them down, stepping out of them and the boxers. His erection is almost painful. You feel the bed move as he crawls into it.

"Ben asleep?" 

He kisses behind your knee, giving you the barest brush of teeth. "Mm hmm." He plants kisses up the back of your thigh. You sigh in enjoyment and close the book. He stops at your ass and bites it the exposed cheek playfully. You giggle then attempt to roll over but he lays a hand on your back.

His head dips down to kiss the peeking part of your labia. You jump. "Tom!"

"This is the first time I've gotten you all to myself and we haven't been dead tired. Let me kiss you." His tongue draws a line up your spine His lips follow that line back down. Propping himself over you, his lips ghost along your shoulders. He carefully ignores your new scars. He knew you weren't comfortable with them yet.

You sigh, enjoying the warmth of him at your back. "You can roll over now." You roll over under him. His takes your lips then licks and kisses along your jaw, down your neck and across your shoulders. They move so slowly over your chest and breasts, placing kisses and small nips over the sensitive tissue and nipples. You arch your back, teasing your fingers through his hair and along his shoulders. They weren't as muscular as they had been. He'd had to cut weight for High Rise and he had to cut more still for the Hank Williams role.

He reaches down to cup your sex, teasing his thumb over the wet spot on the front of your panties. Your body arches again, trying to touch his flesh but he's just out of reach. His mouth continues its journey down while he massages you through the panties. He presses his knee against his hand. You can't help your delighted gasp.

Tom draws the panties down your legs then spreads your thighs wide, exposing all of you. He braces his shoulders on your thighs, continuing his licking and kissing at your core. Each suck of his lips and flick of your tongue sending you higher. Your body bows off the bed, bucking your hips to him shamelessly.

"Yes, Kitten." His voice is low and strained with caged lust for his only love. Your grab your breast and his hair. The tug on your his hair makes him groan and the sound against your most tender spot drives you closer and closer. He slips two slender digits inside you. He brings you gasping and nearly crying in pleasure.

"Oh god, Thomas!" He laps your clean before kneeling between your thighs.

He grabs your knee and wraps your leg around his waist but pushes your other leg flat on the bed. "Look at me, my darling." He fixes his eyes on you, lacing his fingers in your hand. With a long, slow thrust he fills you, completely and almost painfully. Giving you a moment to adjust, he kisses you deeply, eating your gasping mewls. His arms shake as he restrains himself. It's been so long and he's missed you so very much. His hips start slow long thrusts, pulling out to the tip then all the way in. When your body begins to thrust with his, he takes that as a cue, building up speed until you're both shaking and nearly screaming. The sound from your throat a sharp barking breaths. Tom presses his face into your neck, his mouth open in primal ecstasy. Your nails mark his back and upper arms.

His thrusts lose rhythm as he reaches between you and plays your clit like a song. You cum just before he does, shuddering and clamping down on him. He collapses to the side of you, rolling onto his back. Your chests heave, catching your breath before your mouths find each other again. Your hands working each other up for another go.

Tom had been sneaking up on it all day. The large white fat garment bag that was hanging up in the closet. He wanted to see it so badly. Finally, he got the courage up to reach for the zipper and pull it open, but before he could peak inside your ears heard the sound and you came darting around the corner smacking at his hands. “No, no, no.” You slide the zipper back up and push him out of the closet closing the door.

“Shelia, it’s only bad luck if I see you in it before the wedding.” He says with a pout.

“Hey, given our past history in our relationship I’d rather not risk it. And while we’re going over superstitions only refer to The Scottish Play, as The Scottish Play even if we’re just in the house. Always throw salt over your shoulder should it spill. And if we pass a pole, piller, or something of that nature at the same time I want to hear the phrase ‘bread and butter’ immediately jump from your beautiful lips.” You say kissing him before flipping off the light and pulling him from the bedroom. “Honestly Tom, if it’s driving you that crazy then I’ll ask Emma if I can keep it at her place until the morning of.”

“No, it’s fine. I get it.” He says sliding his hands into his pockets like a little kid who was told no.

You play pout mirroring his look wrapping your arms around him looking up into his eyes. “It’ll be worth it. I promise.” You say nuzzling his nose with yours slightly before kissing him once, and then again. He smiles wrapping his arms around you and kissing you back.

“What about Ben’s outfit? Or the bridesmaids dresses? Do I get previews of those or are they all off limits too?” He questions.

“Well, you may have to talk to my ‘wedding planning committee’ about that.” You say with an annoyed sigh. Both of your mothers, Emma, Ellen, and Sophie were having meetings of their own having a great list of things to present you with each time you were brought in on the project. “Although, I insisted that Ben’s outfit matches daddy’s. So my men are sure to look quite handsome.”

He grins a little kissing you again. “Why don’t we get out of here for today? Go for a picnic in the park together? The three of us?” He questions.

“I think you might get mobbed if we tried that honey.” You say softly.

“Not the closest park, we’ll drive to another where loyal fans are less likely to be on the lookout. We could do that.” He suggests. You smile and nod causing him to grin. “You get Ben ready and I’ll pack us a lunch. Yes?”

“Alright.” He kisses your forehead and hugs you close.

“I love you kitten.” He whispers.

“I love you too.” You say hugging him back. Stealing another kiss he hurries into the kitchen and you smile watching him shaking your head as you head into Ben’s room to get him up from his nap and change him into something better to be going out in.

You bring an extra blanket and put Ben in a quilted jacket. He was developing at an astonishing rate for being 3, almost 4 months premature. He supported his head and could roll over already, which was what he was doing right now. You and Tom giggled as he rolled between the two of you, clutching at his blanket with his hands and feet.

"Benny, should daddy make mummy laugh?" He cooes and smiles brightly. "I'll take that as yes." Tom grabs you all the sudden and tickles your neck with his mouth. You gasp and laugh, trying to push him off.

"Thomas! Stop!" You can't get away but he stops, cupping the you cheek.

"I like that I can make you smile like that."

"Thomas, you always make me smile." He kisses you tenderly, caressing your jaw line with his thumb.

"I love you."

"I love you. And I'm sorry. Sorry I was an idiot. And kept pushing you away."

"Shelia, it's alright."

"No, it isn't. I let other people's negativity poison me."

"But you've come back to me. And in a few weeks, you'll be my Bride."

You glance over his shoulder to see Ben up on his hands, rocking back and forth. "Tom look." You both watch for a moment before he drops to the blanket.

The two of you watch anxiously in anticipation and then see him start to crawl a little bit before flopping back down on his tummy. Both of you instantly flood him with praise and excitement causing him to smile and clap his hands that mommy and daddy were so happy with him.

Tom takes him and holds him up in the air a moment before cuddling him close on his lap, “That’s daddy’s little guy!” He exclaims proudly.

“He certainly is.” You say with a smile, “If we’re not careful he’s going to be reciting Shakespeare and munching Hob Nobs.” You giggle reaching over touching Ben’s small fingers, leaning down kissing his hand before kissing his forehead so proud of your little boy. Tom blushes realizing you’d caught him reading a sonnet or two to Ben when he was putting him to sleep at night.

“If he start him young enough he’ll have a huge vocabulary by the time he starts school.” He says in his defense.

You grin and lean over kissing him, “I didn’t say there was anything wrong with it, baby. Just struck me as funny. Usually you’d be reading fairytales and books like ‘If You Give A Mouse A Cookie’. But if you want to read Shakespeare to him that’s perfectly fine. He seems to enjoy it.” You smile a little wider, “Besides, I love the sound of Daddy’s voice too. You could read me the phone book and I’d still be head over heels.”

“Really?” He says with a smile, “I’ll have to remember that.” He says leaning in kissing you again. Tom turns his attention back to your little one still completely anxious about seeing he was beginning to crawl already. He really was an amazing child. He gives a huge yawn and both you and Tom have the same feeling that the picnic was over and you needed to get him home. It was rather chilly this time of year and you didn’t want to risk him catching a cold. As strong as he was, you couldn’t forget he was born premature.

Once at home, the two of you put him to bed standing by the crib unable to pull yourselves away just watching your little one sleep. Tom smiles beaming with happiness as he puts his arm around you and kisses your cheek looking down at his son once more. “I’m so glad he can sleep so well without tubes or wires or anything like that.” You whisper reaching over and checking the baby monitor was on and fully functioning before putting it back in his crib.

“I think we should start interviewing nannies this weekend. The sooner the better.” The smile and joy flood from your face as you give him a dark look. His smile fades as well as this was a subject that had come up before but was quickly dismissed. You couldn’t believe he was still even considering it. Leaning down you kiss Ben ever so gently before heading out of the nursery. Tom reaches down and makes sure that Ben is well covered before following after you carefully closing the nursery door. He hurries to catch up with you in the living room. “Shelia, please.”

“No Tom. I’ve told you, numerous times, no! No nannies! And no boarding schools either!” You say seriously plopping down on the couch. “My mom took care of me just fine without all of that stuff and she was a single mother. I didn’t have a baby just to pay someone else to raise him.”

“Darling,” He takes your hands and sits down next to you on the couch, “I would feel better, much better, if you had someone here to help you. I’m going to be going to the states for almost two months and won’t be here to help you. I know you, you’re going to want to do chores and see to the house, and to take care of Ben on top of that you’re going to be stretched to the limit while being here by yourself.”

“Are you kidding? Your sister, your mom, Sophie, Mark, Stephen, . . . . half the cast of Coriolanus has all volunteered to help out with the baby. These are our friends, why would we pay some stranger to live in our house and take care of our son? That’s not just weird that’s creepy.” You respond.

“No it’s not, it’s not unheard of. It’s quite a common practice. And I think we’ll save the boarding school argument until he’s a little older.” He says having just mentioned it before. He’d gone to boarding school and he’d loved it.

“That’s good because there’s no argument there. No boarding school! I’m not sending my baby away only to be seen on holidays. That’s absolutely . . . insane!” You exclaim.

“But it’s good for him. It’s how he learns to be self reliant and find out who he is as a person without relying on us completely.” He explains.

“No! He can go to regular school like normal people do. It’s what I did in the states, it’s what everyone does in the states. Unless you’re a juvenile delinquent who gets shipped off to military school in the hopes that you can be dissuaded from ending up in jail.” You say. “I’m his mom, I get to take care of him.”

Tom sighs dropping his head knowing you were taking this personally, “Sweetheart, no one is saying that you can’t take care of him. No one is saying that you don’t love him. It’s a wonderful experience for him and I think he would benefit from it. I truly do. And having a Nanny to look after him just helps you get more rest, and enables you to go back to work if you want. You don’t have to of course, but the option would be open.”

“My job, my most important job, is taking care of Ben.” You state seriously.

“I understand that love. You are his mum and having someone to help you with his care isn’t going to detract from that. Not even a little bit. Please darling, it would make me feel so much better if you weren’t here alone when I’m away.” You sigh looking away. “And I think you’ll count it as a blessing when our other children arrive.”

A small smile appears on your lips, “Other children?” You say looking at him. “You’re planning on more then?”

“Of course. We’ll need another 7 at least.” His voice and look quite serious. You elbow him slightly in the gut and he laughs.

“How about one more. Maybe two. We can play things by ear.”

“Alright. Two.” He says with a bright smile. “A venture we should get started on right away I think. Ben does need little brothers and sisters to play with after all.”

You laugh and drop your head back. Your scars weren’t even completely healed and already he wanted to get you pregnant again. “After the wedding? Can we wait to add to the Hiddleston role call until after the wedding?” You question.

“Okay.” He kisses your cheek. Then he kisses your lips. “We’ll wait until the honey moon and then spend the entire two weeks working on bringing more members into the family.” You grin as he pulls you closer, and wraps his arms around you, sliding one hand into your hair kissing you deeply letting his tongue tease yours kissing you even deeper then before. You wrap your arms around his shoulders returning his anxious kiss and as the passion between the two of you began to grow he lays you back down onto the couch beneath him rubbing his body against yours. You giggle and he smiles, “A little practice wouldn’t hurt.” He says his hand sliding up your side and cupping a grasp massaging your breast firmly.

“Hmm, I think we’re quite good already but if you absolutely insist.” You wrap your arm around his neck and pull him into another kiss as he groans into your mouth pulling your leg around him sliding his arms beneath you pulling you tight against him savoring your taste.

He leans up and pulls his shirt off then yours, throwing them somewhere. He leans down and pushes your breasts together. His tongue laves the abundant orbs before he moves to the nipples, leaving you gasping with teeth and thumbs.

Tom pops the button of his jeans and pushes them off his hips. You lean up to help and he seizes your mouth. The stubborn jeans finally give off his muscular thighs. He doesn't bother to pull your shorts off, shoving them to the side. His long digits part your folds.

"So wet." His luscious voice makes you shiver. "Lay back, love." You do as he says. He braces his hands on the arm of the couch. You reach between the two of you and place him at your entrance. He pushes in slowly, knowing you'll stretch to fit him without pain if he takes it slow. He backs out then pushes forward more and harder. With a barely restrained grunt, he fills you with a hard thrust. You both groan.

"Touch yourself, love." His arms shake with his control. You rub your clit in circles, teasing it further out. You lock your legs around his waist, digging your heels into his ass.

"Oh god, Tom."

"Yes, Kitten."

His hips roll up with each thrust, meeting your bucking hips. Each circle on your clit spins you higher. His head dips so that he can bite your collarbone.

"Oh god, Tom!"

"Yes, baby. Cum for me." Your body shudders when you pinch your clit, sending you over the edge. Your body clamps down on him. "So tight. Jesus." He grunts in pure lust as he thrusts to the end. His forehead rests on yours as you both try to catch your breath. In almost perfect timing, Ben cries out from the nursery.

"Your turn, mummy."

"Yes, daddy. My turn." He kisses you, slowly and thoroughly. His cock twitches inside you. "Easy, tiger. Let's get Ben back to sleep before round two."

"I'll go warm up a bottle."

You stand in front of the mirror, making sure you looked good. Tom comes up behind you. He rubs both hands over your ass then back around between your legs. "You look stunning."

"Will you be up when I get home?"

"Undoubtedly." He finds the thigh slit in the black pencil skirt. "You naughty girl. You're not wearing any knickers." His large hand cups you.

"The panties lines mess up the skirt."

"I'll definitely be up." He holds you with one hand and presses himself against your back, his erection grinding into the swell of your ass.

Ellen pokes her head into the room. "Driver's here. Stop pawing each other and let's get going."

You turn in his arms, the blue keyhole blouse pulling tight over your cleavage. "I love you."

"I love you." He takes your lips, moaning softly. "There is witchcraft in your lips."

"Mmmm, yours too." He licks his lips then yours.

"Go have fun, my Bachelorette." You reluctantly pull away from him. The wedding was a week away and goddamn, you couldn't keep your hands off each other.

Ellen waits for you by the door in a stunning baby pink tea dress and stilettos. Steve openly ogles his wife from the couch, his thumb rubbing back and forth on the mouth of his beer. You were meeting Emma, Sophie and Stephen at the restaurant then they were in total control of you.

As you ride together in the cab you giggle back and forth feeling like you were in high school again. “Oh my God, I can’t believe he let you out of the house dressed like that. I’m surprised that you even got out of the house considering the way you two were clawing at each other.” Ellen says with a wink.

“Well, we’re trying to do that ‘making the wedding night more special’ thing by holding off on sex until then. . . . .” You roll your eyes and lean your head back against the seat, “Dear God, the sexual tension is going to kill me. I don’t know if I can wait a week.” Ellen just grins as she looks at you. “What?”

“I’m just happy. I’m happy for you honey.” Reaching over she takes your hand in hers. “I’m happy that you found someone like Tom who treats you like you should be treated. And puts up with all your bullshit.” She says with a smirk. You stick your tongue out at her knowing you’d been a little neurotic and managed to do exactly what you feared you were doing by making Tom’s life harder because of it. She smiles and leans over wrapping her arms around you hugging you tight. “You deserve this, Shelia. You always have.”

You close your eyes and hug her back tight. The car pulls up and you both make certain that the mist in your eyes was cleared away before it messed with your make up. Getting out you head inside. Emma, Sophie and Stephen spot the two of you come in and wave hollering at you shamelessly. The alcohol was already flowing freely. You wave back hurrying over to the table as they stand and each one hugs you. “Good God woman, you’re meant to be late for the ceremony, not your Hen Doo.”

A confused look crossed Ellen’s face, “Huh?” She looks at your hair wondering what she was talking about. You smile and laugh a bit.

“Over here that’s what they call a Bachelorette party a ‘Hen Doo’. And a Bachelor party is called a ‘Stag Night’.” You explain. Ellen gives a nod all caught up now.

“Come on ladies, you’re a bit behind!” He says pushing two drinks over towards you. You smile and shake your head picking up your glass as did everyone else as they toasted and all took a large drink.

“Well, could be worse. Back home there’s be penis straws and penis shaped Marti Gras beads.” You take another sip of your drink glancing at Ellen who’s grinning like a Cheshire cat. “Oh the Penis stuff is coming later isn’t it.”

“Oh definitely. No way you’re getting out of that. So let’s sit down, get something to eat and move on to the fun stuff!” Stephen says as they all pick up their glasses and toast again playfully drinking again. Seemed like alcohol was going to be replacing your blood tonight. What the hell. Was your Bachelorette party after all.

Much later in the evening, you had gone to a club after dinner. Loud music, and lots of other distractions. And of course, out came the penis stuff. Ellen had to bring some of it from home, but it was Europe, sex shops everywhere, probably wasn’t as hard to find as you imagined it was.

“Wow, these are like . . . Reeses Peanut Butter cups . . . shaped as Penis’s . . . they’re good but . . . little creepy. Good thing I’m buzzed.” You say popping another candy in your mouth.

Stephen grins, “What’s the matter, they reminding you of your groom to be?” He teases.

“Not even remotely. Have no idea how tiny these things are in comparison.” You say sticking your tongue out. Then you freeze closing your eyes and shaking your head. “Sorry Emma.” You say embarrassed imagining she didn’t want to hear such things about her brother.

“Oh, puft. We were in a movie together, and did a skinny dipping scene that we were all naked for.” All of you pause for a moment before cracking up and everyone starts laughing. It was creepy, but while inebriated; it was hilarious for some reason.

The waiter came over with yet another drink setting it before you. “Another one?” You ask looking up at him. Ellen made sure you wore a sash and tiara that indicated clearly you were a bachelorette. This resulted in strangers buying you drinks all night and sending them to your table.

“Yes mam.” He says with a wink. Before you could ask who went this one he walks away. You take a breath and sigh looking at it. You really were feeling a bit over the top but whoever had bought it was probably watching and you couldn’t just push it away. You pick it up taking a drink, as the others in your group started to chant causing you to down the rest of the drink completely. They cheer as you slam the glass down.

“Okay you guys, I end up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning and you’re going to have to explain it to Tom why we’re in the hospital again.” You say giving them a look.

“That’s why we ate first honey, and are continuing to munch our way through the night. Keep you from getting sick.” Ellen says pushing over the plate of appetizers that had been ordered.

“On the Brightside you have a nurse to help you look after Ben. You’ll be able to sleep it off.” Emma said.

“Let’s not bring that up, it’s a sore subject.” You feel a little queasy but shake it off.

“She seems really nice. What was her name again?” Stephen asked.

“Rachel. And she is nice. She’s a bubbly and cheery as Tom is sometimes. Another morning person living in the house. Please God, kill me now.” Everyone else at the table laughed a bit. “Anyway, I’ll be right back.” You stand from the table and pause a moment feeling dizzy like you were going to fall.

“Shelia? Are you alright?” Sophie says quickly standing putting her hand on your back. “Here, let me go with you.”

“No,” You say with a smile, “No I’m fine. Just need to munch some more when I come back.” Honestly, you were pretty sure you were going to vomit your guts out and you really didn’t want anyone to witness that. “I’m fine. I’ll be right back.” You move your chair back and walk from the table heading back to the bathrooms.

Once you’re gone Emma leans a bit closer on the table, “Guys, we really should ease up on the alcohol. Tom will be very angry with us if she over does it. It’s only been a few months since the accident.” She reminds them. They all nod realizing things might have been getting a bit out of hand.

You stumble to the bathroom. Suddenly, the hallway tilts and spins. "Shit." You manage to make it to the toilet and slam the door before you violently wretch a stomach full of alcohol and your dinner. You feel better after having done so.

You sit on the floor for a moment, laying your head against the stall wall. When you felt moderately normal, you clamber up the wall, using your high heel to flush the toilet so you didn't have to see it. In case, you started again.

You make your way over to the sink and rinse your mouth. You blindly reach for a paper towel to lightly dab your face. You finally notice someone else in the room, watching you with a condescending smirk.

"Hello, Shelia."

You clear your throat then look down and immediately begin fixing yourself. "Hello, Jane."

The smirk doesn't lessen. "I suppose congratulations are in order."

"You heard then?"

"About your accident, Benjamin and the wedding. That's a week away?"

"Yes." When you feel and look composed.

"Wow. You're good. A lowly stage hand seduces a rich talented Englishman and in less than a year, a baby and ring. Astounding."

"Jane. Can it. Tom wanted the short engagement. Not me. Despite what you and countless others think, I haven't made him do anything HE didn't want." You open the door to the bathroom. "And thank SO much for trying to fuck my fiance while my newborn and I were in intensive care. You're a great gal."

You let the door go as you walk out and a trio of girls walk in. Feeling buoyed up by the empty stomach, you don't drop into the chair. "You lot have two choices. Either keep me distracted and away from Jane Arthy or take me to a different bar."

"That bitch is here?"

"Yep. She was in the bathroom."

Stephen frowned. "And you're not mortified by her hearing you vomit?"

You shrug. "I should be. But knowing that she's a bad person and I'm marrying the man that she'd kill for in a week, that makes it ok."

"We'll finish this round then move to the next club.

"Oh! That's my pick!" Stephen claps his hands. Sophie had picked dinner, Emma had picked this club and Stephen got the second club. If there was a third, it would be whatever they were game for. The waiter sets down a tray of five shots. "This is from your groom."

"He's here?" You all immediately start looking for him.

The waiter chuckles. "No. He called it in. And he says 'There'll be a surprise at home, Kitten.'" 

"Kitten?" The table erupts in laughter at her pet name and the sudden reddening of her cheeks.

"Fuck. You all."

You all lift the shots. "To Tom and Kitten." You stamp on Stephen's foot. "Bitch!" The table dissolves into more giggles then you all yell, "Tom and Kitten!"

The next thing you know, you find yourself face down in a bedspread. There’s a phone ringing next to your head as it seems to be echoing through your head like a deep cavern and it was the annoying Frog doing the Axel F song. One eye opens and it feels like it’s full of sand. You groan slightly as you reach over with your hand pressing the receive button and holding it to your ear. “You changed my ringtone again.” You mumble into the mattress.

You hear the familiar ‘ehehehe’ on the other end of the phone, “Sounds like someone had a good time.” You can hear him grinning on the other end of the line. “How are you feeling darling? Get some water or some tea and start drinking it right away. It’ll make you feel better. Where did you end up?”

You shift slightly rolling over onto your back, “I don’t know. Let me check and make sure I still have two kidney’s.” You say moving your hand over your middle, “No, still seems intact.” A low growl comes from your stomach in protest of the abuse it had taken the previous night. “Kind of.”

He laughs again. “Well let me fill in a blank for you. You’re with Ellen at her hotel. Your mother called when she helped get you both into her room. I was a little disappointed you didn’t come home though.” He says a slight pout but still a bit amused at how much fun you’d had.

“I don’t remember much, but I remember not wanting mommy to stumble into the house drenched in alcohol fumes and possibly falling face down in the nursery to snore like a bear until daddy pulled her out by the ankle in the morning.” You admit resting your hand over your eyes. “What time is it?”

“Little before noon.” He admits.

“Let me get cleaned up and I’ll come home.” You say with a sigh wondering how you were going to move.

“Alright. There’s no rush love, take your time. If you want to sleep a little more go ahead. But make sure you start drinking right now, and you’ll need to eat something soon too.” He says sternly.

“You really are way to knowledgeable about this sort of thing Tom.” You drop your arm to rest across your middle.

“I was in boarding school and college darling, and no, I was not a saint.” He says with a chuckle.

“Really? You were head boy in school, . . . doesn’t that make you like a Griffindor or Hufflepuff or something?” You respond.

Tom can’t help but laugh, “Liquid Shelia. At least drink a glass of water before you fall back asleep. I love you.” He says with a smile.

“I love you too.” You say softly. “Stop changing my ringtone!” He just laughs and you can hear him send you a kiss and you kiss one back before hanging up. You smile a little letting your hand fall back to the bed closing your eyes. He really was severely sweet. And in a week, you were going to be Mrs. Shelia Hiddleston.

Rolling over you crawl up the bed and reach for the bottle of water on the nightstand opening it and sipping at first to make sure it wasn’t just going to bounce off your stomach and reappear. Surprisingly it didn’t, and you finished the bottle of water before curling up on the bed and falling back to sleep feeling beyond exhausted.

 

(Continued -->)


	10. Limelight - Chapter 10

You and Ben play on the floor together. He loves his tummy time. Rolling side to side and kicking his legs. Three months old and doing things that a four month old and some even a five month old. You lay on your stomach, playing peekaboo with little tiger Ellen and Steve had brought with them.

"How do we look, ladies?"

You and Ellen look up at your men. Your body clenches when you see Tom in the 3 piece charcoal grey suit. He's left off the tie tonight. You lick your lips and catch Tom following the movement.

"No tie?"

He shrugs, a careless rise and fall of shoulders that is maddening. "I couldn't find one I liked." 

The doorbell rings. "That'll be Luke." Sure enough, Luke is in tow when Tom comes back into the room.

Ellen stands and stretches. As she comes back straight, he wraps his arms around her.

Tom bends down and kisses you then picks up Ben. He nuzzles noses with him until the baby cooes and kicks his legs. "You be good for mama." He sets the baby back on his belly on the blanket.

"And you be good. Luke, don't let him get too crazy."

"Benedict planned the party, not quite sure how crazy he'll be able to get." You shake your head. Despite common misconception, Tom and Ben could be a couple terrors together. You'd heard the stories and even been present for one.

"Even more of a reason."

Tom kisses you again then a second time. "I love you." 

"I love you. Have fun."

The first part of the party was in full swing when the car arrived at the club. Nearly all of Tom's mates had turned out. He was handed a shot upon entering and they alcohol kept flowing. Tom grins as he sees a girl in a risque Victorian get up. Slowly, he realizes there are several and they're giving lap dances. A couple have actually removed the outfits and are wearing corsets or open cup bras and thongs.

Benedict claps his shoulder. "Well, mate. This is a big night."

"Strippers, Ben?"

Benedict scoffs. "They call themselves entertainers."

"Shelia will have kittens if she finds out."

"They've strict instructions to avoid the groom, myself, Steve and any other married man. Upon termination and non-payment. That was Sophie's idea." A knot of worry he hadn't even realize had formed at the sight of the strippers loosens.

Shot upon shot is given as the night wears on. He's positively floating when he drops down onto the couch. He closes his eyes and leans his head back. A familiar body weight settles upon his lap but he's too drunk to place. It's too light to be Shelia and she's been at the house with Ben and Ellen.

The weight begins grinding and despite being faithful and committed, he is drunk and he is a man. His body responds in kind. He settles his hands on the weight's thighs.

"That's a boy. I knew you still wanted me."

He opens his eyes. "Jane, what are you doing here?"

"Andy drunk dialed me."

"Why are you here?" Her laugh is throaty and she leans in to kiss Tom's neck. He grunts lightly and brings his hands up to her shoulders. "Jane. Stop. Get off me." Her kisses continue and he pushes harder on on her shoulders.

She leans up and huffs. "Oh Thomas, don't you want one more Harrah before you chain yourself to the drab little mess and pop a litter?" She grabs his crotch. And that brings him sober. 

Tom stands up abruptly and dumps her onto the table. "I said get off!" He's almost embarrassed by the reluctant erection in his slacks but he chooses to ignore it. The resounding crash gets attention from the surrounding men.

Benedict and Luke hurry over. "I'm sorry, Tom. This is unacceptable- what, Jane?!"

Andy pushes his way through. Hurt and anger on his face. Steve is confused but he gives Jane a hand up. "You need to leave. Right now." Andy grabs her elbow.

"I'll escort her out, fellas. It's my fault she's here." They begin arguing lowly as he practically drags her out, their voices getting louder as they get closer to the door.

Tom and Ben head to the bar. "Let's get you another drink, mate."

You lay on your bed curled up with Ben beside you surrounded by a barrier of pillows to keep him safe and from the side edges. One arm under your head, your other hand laying beside him wanting to make certain he was safe and breathing well even though he hadn’t had any breathing problems since he was taken off the respirator. Rachel was asleep in the nursery as the two of you tended to argue over who did what when Tom wasn’t there. Something he was aware of that he knew he was going to have to hash out with you before going to the states for Hank Williams but he was leaving it lie for now.

Suddenly your phone starts to ring and you open your eyes seeing Ben sleeping next to you peacefully before rolling on your back and picking up your phone off the nightstand. “Hello?” You say stretching your back slightly.

“Hello sweetheart.” You heard Tom’s voice say into the phone. Your eyes open hearing the weird way he was talking and severely slurring his words.

“Tom?” You say leaning up on your elbow looking at the clock. “It’s after midnight.” It wasn’t that you expected him home any time soon. You’d stayed out all night and halfway through the morning and he didn’t complain a bit, you weren’t about to either. You just hear him breathing on the phone, and what sounded like half laughter and half tears. “Tom?” You say again.

“You know I love you don’t you? You know how much I love you, and that there is no one else for me in the world. Not ever. You’re the only one I want.” He says in a slightly weepy voice.

You just stare for a moment before reaching up and rubbing your eyes, “Honey, did you actually just drunk dial me from your bacherlo. . . . your stag night?” You question.

“I didn’t want you to forget how much I love you. Just you. Only you.” He said again.

“I know baby, I haven’t forgotten.” You say laying back down. He’d never done this before, but from the sound of it, he’d never gotten this face down drunk before. “Is Luke or Benedict nearby?” You question.

“They’re inside. I’m in the Hallway next to the Loo.” He admits.

“Okay, well if you can walk that far may I speak to one of them?” You ask him softly.

“Hold on.” He sniffles. You can hear the ruffling of the phone and Tom apologizing to someone, and then another someone, and then a ‘ehehehehe’ and more ruffling. There was the sound of the phone being dropped on the floor before being picked up and then finally a voice.

“Hello?” You here Benedict's voice say.

“You realize if he dies of alcohol poisoning I’m going to kick your ass through a brick wall, right.” You say seriously.

“It’s alright Shelia, darling. We’re keeping an eye on him. You know how it is, everyone buys the groom drinks left and right, guests and strangers alike. Sophie said that’s what happened to you and your Hen Doo.” He said.

“Yes, I almost vomited my guts out at one point and my alcohol tolerance isn’t what it used to be anymore. Tom can hold his liquor better than I can, yet he’s calling me half in tears wanting to know he loves me.” There’s a long pause on the phone, you can’t even here Ben breathing. You open your eyes leaning up slightly. “What happened.”

“It really is nothing, we dealt with it love. Nothing to worry about.” He reassures you. You just wait expecting to hear the whole story before you let him hang up. He sighs, “We had an unexpected guest who made a complete idiot of herself and embarrassed Tom.” There’s another pause, “Jane.”

“Oh was it.” This was fucking ridiculous. You’d just about had enough of this bitch butting into things between you and Tom, constantly trying to fuck him every chance she gets.

“She was escorted of the premises immediately and thoroughly chastised for being so foolish.” He says reassuring you again. A long silence stretches out over the phone, “Shelia?”

“I understand.” You say after a moment. “You make sure to keep Tom safe, Ben. I’m holding you too it. and feed him something for Christ's sake.”

“I promise.” He says as you hang up the phone. Rolling towards your sleeping son, you place a gentle kiss on his forehead, “Mommy’s got to go out for a while.” You whisper kissing him once more. Then you get up from the bed and walk out knocking on the nursery door. “Rachel. Are you still awake?” There’s a moment and you can hear her getting up as you open the door and step in.

“Yes Miss Garrison?”

“I need you to watch Ben, I need to take care of a pest problem.” She nods instantly pulling on her robe and going to your room to bring Ben into the nursery and put him in his crib. You turn on the phone dialing, “I need a cab. Right now.”

45 minutes later you’re outside Jane’s apartment and you’re banging your fist against the door. You wait a moment before hitting the door again. The lights go on inside and Andy is the one who answers. “Shelia? What is it? What’s wrong?”

“Hello Andy, nice to see you, but I’m here to talk to your minx.” Before he can respond you push past him into the apartment. “JANE!” You roar, “JANE ARTHY! Get your skinny, slutty, SKANKY ASS OUT HERE!”

You clench your fists at your sides in an effort not to slap her the moment she emerges, rubbing sleep from her eyes and smoothing sex hair. You dart at her with an open fist. Her head whips to the side with a startled gasp. Her cheek immediately starts to bruise and a trickle of blood seeps out of her nose. Andy quickly moves to the side of you, placing his arm in between you. "Listen, you little home wrecking whore. You stay away from Tom. Don't call, don't text, don't talk about him, don't even think about him. After what you pulled in Tahiti when myself and HIS CHILD were in the hospital-"

"What happened in Tahiti?"

You laugh darkly and take a step back. "He doesn't know." She clenches her jaw. "You need to leave."

"Oh I'll leave. But I just have this to say. If I wasn't getting marry in 5 days, I'd be in jail and you'd be in hospital. You seem to forget. I'm -not- English. I don't have the bred propriety you all do. Come near my family again and I'll go Jack the Ripper on your whore ass."

You take a deep breath and force yourself to take a step back. "I'm sorry, Andy." You force yourself to put one foot in front of the others, breathing in and out.

You're pulling into the driveway as Luke is helping Tom out of the car. You look at the clock and its nearly 3.

"Shelia? What are you doing?" You pay the driver then help Luke get Tom into the house.

"I went for a drive."

"Shelia. It's nothing she didn't deserve. I just wish Andy would wise up and stop fucking around with her."

Tom drops to the bed with an oaf. Luke takes your hands. "Don't let that elitist bitch ruin something good for you. And Tom."

You shed your jacket and shoes then start on his loafers. "I only hit her once."

"Fuck." He sighs. "Alright. We'll deal with it if anything comes of it. I'm going home. Stephen is waiting up."

You hug him tightly. "Thanks for seeing my love home."

"Night, Shelia." You see him out then return to Tom. He sits up.

"Come to bed, Kitten." He begins unbuttoning his shirt. You smile as you cross the room to him.

You kiss him and taste whiskey among other things. You slide your hands up his bare abdomen, sighing as the cut off his muscles, the only plus to High Rise. You push the shirt off then push him back down. He groans when your hands move to his belt. He lifts his hips off the bed, offering you his very apparent erection. You tug his pants off but don't climb into bed. "Go to sleep, Tom."

"But Kitten, I want you." He tucks his forearm under his head then runs the other down his stomach. Your body clenches as you follow the path of that hand. He licks his lips as he watches you watch him. His hips lift off the bed when he grabs his member at the end of that path. You whimper and look away.

"I'll be on the couch."

"Kitten-"

"We had an agreement. No sex until after the wedding. And your drunk. I love you. Go to sleep." You hear his frustrated sigh as you shut the door, echoing your own frustration.

You roll over on the couch under the blanket smelling the wondrous smell of waffles, sausage and eggs. Throwing the cover back you get up scratching your head slightly going into the kitchen. You’d expected to find Rachel but instead you found Tom. Who had already gone for a run, showered, and dressed.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.” You said in disbelief.

He smiles seeing you in the doorway. “Good morning darling.” You walk over to the counter just staring at him. “Something wrong love?”

“How are you even awake? Much less . . . . able to move around, and cook? After my bachelorette party, it took me two days to get back on my feet.” You said looking him over for any sign of a hangover. If he had one, he was sure hiding it well.

“I don’t really get hangovers, and even on the rare occasion when I do I bounce back quickly.” He says dishing up breakfast plates. One for him, one for you, and one for Rachel who was no doubt already up as well for Ben’s breakfast. He walks over and kisses your cheek putting a plate down in front of a seat, then one in front of the other pulling your chair out for you. You just stare at him your eyes narrowed. How could someone so skinny be so lucky? “The trick is to drink water or tea as soon as you take your last alcoholic drink for the evening. Then you keep drinking until you fall asleep.”

“Really?” You say a little bit annoyed but take your seat. He grins taking your hand and kissing your knuckles, before sitting down beside you beginning to eat. You pick up your glass of juice taking a sip looking towards the nursery.

“She’s up. She and Ben were up when I left for my run.” He said taking another bite of food. You sigh putting your glass of juice down. Every since Rachel was hired on it felt like you were competing with her every moment of every day, and you hated it. “Darling, it’s her job. It’s what we’re paying her to do. To look after Ben.” He reaches over and wraps his hand around yours holding it tight knowing this was bothering you. He didn’t know how to make you understand that this was a normal practice in England, meant to help you and make things easier for you.

“Yeah well . . . might help if she wasn’t so pretty.” You mumbled under your breath.

“Considering she was rather upfront and rather forth coming about being a lesbian, I dare say that she would most likely be delighted by your compliment.” He reminds you.

You weren’t really thinking about Rachel at this point so much as Jane. Just one punch? She’d been asking for it since day one, who knew you had enough restraint in you not to knock every single one of her teeth out of her face. Her idiotic manipulative petty bullshit almost got you killed when she managed to bring your whereabouts to Tyler’s attention.

“Hmm.” Tom says looking at you, “Luke left several messages on my phone this morning. It appears the firestorm he was anticipating from your midnight ‘surprise’ visit to Jane and Andy’s place, never materialized.” He picked up his juice taking a drink. “Apparently she’s wearing a good thick layer of makeup, large sunglasses, and her hair obscures most of her face. When she actually leaves the house.” You turned looking at the clock, what the hell was the time? “At least this is what Andy says.”

You sigh, “So? Am I now going to be sued into the floor for assault and battery?”

“No. Seems that she wants to keep this more under wraps then we do. She’s genuinely embarrassed, not that any of us ever thought that was possible. Jane would rather this didn’t get out because the events leading up to it would definitely come to light, and she wouldn’t come out of it looking too good by any stretch of the imagination.” You just stare at him as he continued to eat before looking up at you again. “No, I do not approve. Yes, I think she deserved it and was long overdue. No, I am not mad at you.” He nods towards your plate, “Eat darling, it’s getting cold and the girls will be by to pick you up before too long.” You give a nod and pick up your fork and knife beginning to eat. He smiles taking another drink from his glass. “I wish you weren’t leaving today. The wedding isn’t for three days and it’s bad enough I haven’t been allowed to touch you, now I won’t be able to see you either.” He says with a sad look.

“Well, apparently the next three days I’m going to be groomed like a show pony. Chances are good you won’t even recognize me when I appear at the back of the church.” You warn.

“What exactly are they going to do to you?” He questions.

“I don’t know. I have 5 women collaborating on this and they’re having everything done down to the last detail.” You pause a moment your eyes going wide, “The very. Last. Detail.”

Tom sees the look on your face, “What does that mean?”

“It has to be purely for you because I know no one else is going to see it.” You say taking another bite of food.

“Oh?” He says thinking about it for a moment before realizing what you mean, “Oh! . . . .Oh . . .” He clears his throat, “You don’t have to do that darling, not for me.” He says.

“Might as well just go for it. Who knows, you might like it and prefer it from now on.” You reach for a piece of toast taking a bite. “What exactly is ‘vagizzle’?”

“Okay, now you’re just taking the micky.” He says giving you a look as you smile at him taking another bite of toast. “Don’t even think about it dear, I’m putting my foot down and drawing the line right there.” He finishes his breakfast standing taking his plate, and then he leans down and whispered into your ear, “There’s only one hidden jewel under your skirt that interests me darling, and trust me when I advise that you should get as much rest as you can for when you’re Mrs. Hiddleston and I can go treasure hunting.” You giggle as he kisses his cheek carrying his plate to the sink.

You see the time realizing you’d slept a bit late and quickly scarf down the eggs and sausage, downing the juice. Picking up your dishes you rush them over to the sink. “I have to jump through the shower and change, thank you for breakfast.” You kiss his lips and start to head out of the kitchen but he catches you by the wrist with a soapy hand pulling you back kissing you deeply. You grin against his lips kissing him back, then kissing him again, then kissing him once more. Before you realized what was happening, his arms were tight around you, and yours were wrapped around his neck, your bodies rubbing against each other against the sink. It had been almost a month since your little pact that seemed like a good idea at the time to wait until your wedding night to have sex again. After a few days you both realized what an incredibly stupid idea it was when you were living together under the safe roof, he wasn't away filming something and were in reach of each other. However, you were both determined to commit to it.

When he lifted you from the floor, setting you on the counter your legs wrapped around his waist pulling his body tight against yours. He hadn’t shaved today and his scruff made every inch of your skin tingle. His hands slid down your back into your lounge pants clasping your buttocks tight. Suddenly you were both snapped back into life when you heard Ben giggle and squeak.

You looked over seeing Rachel had come in with Ben who was dressed for the day and she kept from looking directly at you. A small smile on her lips having caught the two of you practically dry humping each other in the kitchen. Instantly you hopped down from the counter straightening your shirt as Tom steps back and clears his throat slightly. “Uh, anyway . . . shower.” You say.

“Good idea. I’ll um . . . .I’ll call Emma to see if they’ve left yet.” He says. You nod, both a bit embarrassed, incredibly turned on, and now 10x more frustrated than before. Instantly you turn away retreating in different directions.

Rachel couldn’t keep from laughing as she looked at Ben with a smile, “You are going to have SO many little brothers and sisters.” She says picking up her plate and walking to the table to eat her breakfast.

Tom sits in the chair, staring into the fire. His chin rests on his hand. Your wedding is tomorrow but he misses you so much, he can't stand it.

Rachel steps in front of him. "Mr. Hiddleston?"

He startles. "Oh I'm sorry."

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Rachel." He sighs. "I just miss Shelia. The house feels so empty without her.

"Well, if it's any consolation, sir, she's just as miserable. I thought she was going to cry when Ben and I left today." He closes his fist.

"Rachel, I'm going out."

"Yes, sir."

Tom clenches and releases his fists as he rides up the elevator. The hotel is quiet at the late hour. He knew Ellen was with Steve tonight, which meant you were alone in your room. The elevator doors open at the same time your text alert goes off. He opens it. 'I miss you so much. I can't wait for tomorrow.' He sends a short reply. 'I miss you terribly, Kitten.'

He knocks on the door. "Who the fuck is knocking at this late hour?" You open the door.

Before you can react, his mouth is on yours and his are around your waist. Your body responds in kind. He kicks the door shut and picks you up, carrying you to the bed.

"Tom. The agreement."

"Oh bullocks. I have no problem wanting you." He sheds his jacket. "Clothes off. Now."

He pulls his shirt off and sheds his pants and boxers. You sit there with your arms crossed over your chest. Your lips part, face flushed but you make no move to take off your night shirt.

"Tom. We're getting married tomorrow." Your voice is soft and breathless. "What's one more day?" He crawls onto the bed and you scoot back. He grabs your ankle and pulls you to him.

"I'll want you just as much tomorrow as I do today." He kisses you, pouring every ounce of love and passion into your mouth. You whimper and yield to him, your body arches off the bed.

His fingers glide up your thigh and slip between your panties and your skin. "Oh my lovely girl, so wet for me."

He crooks his hand and slips two fingers inside you. Gasping, you bite his ear. He groans at the bite and the way your body clenches around his fingers.

"Are you fond of these knickers?"

"No particularly." 

"Fantastic." His hand closes on the crotch of the panties and he pulls, hard. The fabric pinches your hips then rips. His eyes haven't left your face as his hand works between the two of you. He places the head of his achingly hard cock at your entrance. "I love you."

"I lo-" He thrusts forward, not quite filling you all the way. "Oh fuck."

"That's a girl." He pulls back then thrusts forward, filling you this time. He gives you a moment to adjust, murmuring against your lips. "So tight."

As he begins to thrust, you both know it won't be long. You wrap your legs around his waist and your hands behind his neck. He feasts at your mouth, teeth and tongue wrestling with yours. Your moans get louder as you get closer.

"Cum with me, Shelia. I won't last long." He grabs your thigh and pulls it up to your chest, going so deep it almost hurts. His breath comes ragged. "Shelia." He sets his teeth to your neck and that's all you need.

"Oh Jesus fuck!" Your body clamps down, your release exploding through you. Tom grunts and thrusts a few more times. He collapses on top of you then rolls to the side.

You don't have time to catch your breath before there's rapid knocking at your door. "Shit. That'll be my mom." Tom pulls the blankets over himself.

"Shelia. What's going on? I heard- I won't tell you what I heard." She storms into the room as soon as you open the door.

"Mom. I'm fine." Tom half waves from the bed. Your mom turns and takes in your just fucked hair and your flushed face.

"I can see that." Your mom's face colors and she walks back to the door. "Don't stay up too late. You both have a big day tomorrow." She kisses your cheek. "Night, Shelia"

"Night mom."

"Night, Tom."

"Night, mother." She tries to hide her smile by closing the door. You turn to him and fluff your messy hair. "Take that blasted shirt off and come here."

"She's right, you know."

"Yes but-" He glances at the clock. "We've got time for another go." You stand at the side of the bed. He sits up and watches you pull the shirt above your head. His mouth covers your nipple. Your head drops back as you reach for his hair. He pulls you onto the bed and rolls you onto your back with a shout and a giggle.

You and Tom were curled up tight in each other’s arms having fallen asleep rather quickly after the desperate groping feverish romp. The preparations for the wedding had been going on for ages and neither of you had been sleeping very well apart.

Suddenly both of you were ripped awake by the feel of being drenched in ice cold water. Both of you bail out of bed on opposite sides with a shout of protest and shock. You look up to see Ellen was your assailant. “Ellen! What the fuck!” You shout.

“Honestly you two. One more day ONE more day is all you had to go!” She says holding up Tom’s clothes indicating he should go now.

“Jesus, Ellen! You aren’t my mom you know!” You say running your fingers over your face.

“No, I’m your Matron of Honor. Do you remember your going on and on about how important the wedding night was for you? That’s why you two were waiting?” She holds up Tom’s clothes again tossing them to him.

He catches them, “Look here, we’re both adults Ellen and I . . . .” Suddenly his words were cut short when she holds up another pitcher of ice cold water. It had been sitting a little while indicated by the condensation on it. “Alright!” He holds up his hand, “Alright! I’m going!” He quickly pulls on his clothes.

“It’s after Midnight and your groomsmen are waiting at your house! Your Best Man called me telling me they were concerned you weren’t back yet after you told the nanny you were going out and no one knew where you were!” She says. Deciding he wasn’t leaving fast enough she starts walking towards him, “5, 4, 3, 2 . . . .” Tom trips pulling on his shirt and picking up his shoes.

“ALRIGHT! Alright! You insane cow!” He grabs his jacket stumbling out the door. Ellen closes the door turning and looking at you holding the pitcher of water as you glare at each other.

“Ellen . . . you just made the nicest guy in the world, my fiancé . . . TOM HIDDLESTON . . . call you a cow!” You exclaim. She puts her hand on her hip staring at you before she throws the second pitcher of ice water drenching you from head to toe. “JESUS CHRIST!!!”

She drops the pitcher on the floor, “Will that do you? Do you think you can wait until tomorrow night now or should I get a hose?” She demands her hands on her hips. Shivering with the cold she shakes her head pulling a towel from the bathroom and walking over wrapping it around you. “Don’t act like I’m being unreasonable, you missed him and it was driving you crazy but you are the one who told me that it was going to make your wedding night special. A little self control would be nice?”

You sigh as she rubs your shoulders through the towel. “Like we’ve ever had any self control where the other is concerned. What is Ben doing at our house?” You question.

“Tradition over here I guess. The groomsmen spend the night with the groom. Probably drinking themselves stupid until I call over there in the morning and wake them up.” She explains. “He knew they were coming, I can’t believe he drove all the way over here.”

“Once again, I’m surprised we made it a month.” You close your eyes shaking your head actually feeling a little ashamed. She kisses your cheek and hands you another nightshirt that didn’t get wet.

“Housekeeping is on its way up with some dry bedding, and you, young lady, get to sleep. We’ve got to get up in a couple of hours so we can take you to get your hair done.” She hugs you and you hug her back. “And for future reference, even though I can’t imagine your wedding happening again, learn what phone sex is, will you?” You both crack up and she hugs you again drying your hair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you arrive at the church, your hair is done beautifully, you have enough makeup on to probably have lasted the entire cast of Coriolanus through the entire run, and yet you’re wearing sweatpants and a hoodie. You yawn a bit and Ellen is mainlining cappuccino with espresso to you through a straw.

Your bridesmaids, Tom’s mom and your mom are all working on you getting you into the proper undergarments which you don’t remember being so damn tight. Probably because you didn’t have so many people pulling the ties on the corset every 5 minutes. “Okay, Okay! Tight enough!” You finally say, “I can’t sit down, can’t draw a full breath, and I can’t feel my feet! Tight enough! . . . . you bunch of sadists.” They all laugh and giggle before the dress comes out. You take what breath you can seeing that there were even more ties that could be tightened on the dress itself. “Oh boy.”

On another room, Tom’s groomsmen are helping him get ready checking on things about the ceremony and the church. Benedict comes in carrying the box with the boutonnieres for the groomsmen taking out Tom’s to put it on his Tux. “Did you see her? Is she here?” He asks anxiously.

Benedict just gives him a look, “No Tom, Ellen says she booked a flight shortly after you left the hotel last night and bolted back to the United States to go into the witness protection program.” He says reaching out and pinning the flower in place, “Come on now old man, I’m pretty certain you would have been notified before now if she’d changed her mind.”

“I saw the press outside. I didn’t want her to take one look at that, realize that’s what the rest of our lives are going to be like, and then decide I’m not worth it.” He says fixing his cufflinks. Giving him another look, Benedict punches him in the arm causing Tom to wince and wrap his arm around what was no doubt going to be a bruise. Tom just gives him a look of surprise and disbelief.

“I think Jane did you the favor of getting the worst of the dark side of social media and fandom’s cleared up months ago. The worst is behind you in that arena I suggest you take it as a blessing and stop being a dumb ass.” He says with a slight smile. Tom shakes his head and then laughs realizing he was right. A knock comes to the door before Benedict goes and answers it. “Everyone decent?” He asks before stepping back and letting Rachel in whose dressed and ready carrying Ben who was decked out in his little outfit that did, indeed match daddies.

Tom grins walking over picking up his son holding him close, “Well you certainly are going to steal the show as the most handsome one here. Aren’t you.” He says kissing his cheek. “Has Shelia seen him yet?” He questions Rachel.

“Not yet. She looks beautiful though Mr. Hiddleston. They’re pretty sure they’ll have her smiling before she enters the church.” She reassures him.

“Huh? Why isn’t she smiling?” He questions.

“Lack of air.” She says simply before stepping forward gently taking Ben back into her arms.

“What? Don’t tell me the dress doesn’t fit, she hasn’t eaten hardly anything since she bought it.” He says with a frown still not having been permitted to see it yet.

“Oh no, it fits. But the whole thing is adjustable. Everyone has had a go at tightening it.” She explains. Now he was getting the picture and he half laughed. “Miss Ellen wanted me to ask you if everything was alright or if . . .” She paused not understanding the next bit of the message, “If . . .you needed her to bring you some . . . ice water?”

Tom gives Rachel a look, “You can tell that old co . . . .” He pauses clearing his throat before smiling, “No, I’m quite alright, thank you.” He kisses Ben’s head, “Go show mummy how handsome our little man is.” She smiles before leaving them to finish getting ready. Tom looks over to see Benedict trying to cover a grin having heard and understood the message that was sent finding the whole thing hilarious. “Oh, I’ll get her back. You can count on it.”

You stand at the back of the church, breathing deeply. Norah Jones 'Come away with me' filters through the doors. You watch your mother and Tom's walk down they aisle. Then Emma and Andy. No sign of Jane and thank fuck for that. Luke and Stephen were next then finally Ellen and Ben. You kiss your handsome little man then hand him off to Tom's dad, acting as your ring bearer. You see Tom take Ben from his dad. Reality weighs on your chest as you wait for the song to end, the flower girls spilling petals in clumps. Rodney starts the wedding march. He'd been a pleasant surprise and playing it had been a heart touching gift. You take one final breath then start down the aisle. Your mom is already in tears and Tom looks at your like there's no one else in the room. You know that you were stupid and that there was no mistaking this was what and where both of you wanted to be.

You stare at Tom through your veil as you approach him, clutching your bouquet tight in your hands. You smile when the long walk finally comes to an end as Ellen takes the large bouquet of flowers from you and you turn to face Tom, who lifts your veil as a grin sweeps his face seeing how beautiful you were. He pushed it back over your head as Ellen reaches out and straightens it before he takes your hand and you walk up to the minister.

As he begins the ceremony both you and Tom were trying to pay attention but he couldn’t ignore how absolutely beautiful you were, and you couldn’t stop admiring how handsome he was. Each time you caught each other’s eyes you giggled a little looking up at the minister again. You recited your vows perfectly, the minister didn’t have to say the words for you to repeat. You knew Tom was going to be ‘off book’ and you weren’t about to disappoint him. Tom then recited his vows before the rings came. You put his on his finger first, and then he gently slides yours into place before quickly kissing your hand and smiling up at you holding your hands tight in his once more. Now you were just starring into each other’s eyes as the entire world fell away. It was just you and him. No one else in the world, nothing else in the world.

Finally the ceremony ended and the words “You may now kiss the bride.” Tom reaches up gently cupping your face in his hands before placing a deep tender kiss on your lips. You anxiously return it as the kiss deepens a little more. Neither of you were planning on tongue but it certainly was prevalent. The kiss lasted a little longer then perhaps proper for a church and Ellen stepped closer and cleared her throat.

The kiss broke as you looked into each other’s eyes not being able to stifle the giggle. At once everyone clapped and cheered standing from their seats. “It is my honor to be the first to introduce, Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Hiddleston.” Both of you practically beaming, he wraps your arm around his as you turn to face the crowd. They clap and cheer louder as Ellen hands your bouquet back to you and you start back up the aisle.

The music begins playing again as the two of you run into the foyer, wrapping your arms around each other, kissing much deeper and more passionately then you had a few minutes ago. Completely excited and full of energy. You look into one another’s eyes, “Congratulations, Mr. Hiddleston.” You say with a grin.

‘ehehehehe’ “And congratulations to you, Mrs. Hiddleston.” You both laugh before kissing again.

“Okay, Okay I gotta go change!” You say kissing him once more starting to pull away before he pulls you back into another kiss. You laugh a little, “Honey, I gotta go change out of this thing and into my reception dress.” You repeat. He starts to let you go but you pull him against you kissing him once more.

You grin against each other’s lips, “Need help getting out of this rig??” He whispers. Your eyes sparkle as you both look around before you grab one another’s hands and race into the changing room.

No sooner had you shut the door to the changing room, someone knocked.

"Open the door, you two. The photographer is demanding you."

"Fuck." You both say in unison.

The two of you smile and simmer in sexual frustration through pictures. But before you can get a moment in the changing room, you're whisked away to the reception. Tom rests his forehead on yours during your first dance.

"That lovely dress is going to bed to be tailored after tonight."

"Why's that, love?"

"Because by the time I get to make love to wife, I'm gonna rip the fucking thing off."

"Oh." You flush and giggle. His lips brush your ear. "I love you. So much."

You lean into him. "I love you."

When you were finally able to change your dress, you couldn't get his attention.

The driver pulls up to the hotel. You both exit the car with the help of the valet. You hurry to keep pace with Tom's long legs. His firm hand at the small of your back spurs you on. He practically sat on his hands the whole drive.

A couple people congratulate you, recognizing you from Tom's fame and the wedding announcement. Tom's hand doesn't leave your back as you wait for the elevator. You're both tired from the long day but you could cut the sexual tension with a knife.

The elevator doors open. You two step inside but as a third person tries up step on, Tom prevents them. "A little privacy, mate?"

"Oh of course." The doors close. Tom catches you by surprise and pushes you against the wall, his body pressing deliciously into you.

"You're going to take off that dress and lay on the bed while I pour us some champagne." His fingers twist the loose hair about your face. "Are you wearing knickers?"

"Yes, Tom. I wasn't going to be at church in front of God and country and flash my business at everyone."

"Take those off too. But leave the corset."

"You're being awfully dominant."

"Are you complaining?" He grips your carefully styled hair at the base of your neck.

"No." Your voice is breathy. The elevator doors open and he let's you off the wall. You hurry to the room. It felt like a dream.

Less than a year ago, you applied for the position at the Donmar. You hadn't even known who he was. But standing in the room watching your new husband, the love of your life, pour champagne into a glass, you realize that you were lost from the moment you saw him. You reach up and unzip the dress, letting it fall in a pool of white satin and linen. You skim the panties down your legs and step out of the dress and heels.

Tom loosens his tie and begins to unbutton the dress shirt. You cross the room to him, pushing the tuxedo jacket off his shoulders.

"I love you, Mr. Hiddleston." And I'm so very glad you didn't give up on me, you finish in your head.

"And I love you, Mrs. Hiddleston." You use his loose tie to pull him into a kiss. He pulls his shirt out of his pants. Still using the tie, you pull him with you toward the bed.

Looking up at him as he undresses for you, this is where you want to be. You aren't sure what the future holds, how far Tom's career will take him, but you know you want to be with him. No matter the challenge. Here's to getting used to the limelight.

 

~The End~


End file.
